White Rabbit

Philadelphia, PA – 3.31.2017 (Air Date; Film Date Unknown)

Championship Rundown
Grand Champion: Hallowicked
Campeones de Parejas: Moustache Mountain (Trent Seven & Tyler Bate)
Young Lions Cup Champion: ThunderFrog

Commentary is provided by Mike Quackenbush.

Ophidian is sitting in the Wrestle Factory bleachers with Fire Ant and Obariyon. He says the three of them can protect CHIKARA because they have experienced loss. However, if they want to call themselves “The Furies”, they need the one that understands the true meaning of vengeance. Cut to Icarus in a brown trenchcoat standing next to them.

Ophidian vs. Race Jaxon

Jaxon’s “gift” to the audience is him removing his t-shirt. Ophidian hooks him in a bridging backslide for two. Jaxon takes exception, shoving and striking Ophidian after kicking out. Ophidian smacks Jaxon in the kidney, back, and sweeps out his legs after Jaxon tells him not to hit him in the face. He drives his head into Jaxon’s ribs, and Jaxon rolls to the apron to stop Ophidian from rubbing his forearm into his face. Jaxon cuts off Ophidian with a series of forearm strikes. Ophidian sends him out with an enzuigiri. Jaxon traps Ophidian in the ring skirt, booting him in the face and roughing him up with more forearm strikes. In the ring, Ophidian blocks the Head Shot, but Jaxon hits an enzuigiri and a clothesline through the ropes. Jaxon’s slingshot spear gets a two count. Ophidian jabs Jaxon in the throat. Ophidian Skins the Snake and gets two with a Mouse Trap pin. Jaxon responds with a dropkick and pummels Ophidian on the mat. Jaxon takes Ophidian over with a butterfly suplex for two. He goes for another, but Ophidian counters with a rollup for two. Ophidian throws multiple kicks to Jaxon’s face before knocking him down with a shotgun dropkick. Ophidian’s quebrada gets a very close nearfall. Jaxon blocks the Skin the Snake attempt, trapping Ophidian in the ropes for another clothesline. Jaxon quickly brings him back in for a two count. Despite Jaxon’s punches, Ophidian is able to get in a Perfect Plex for two. Jaxon avoids another quebrada. Ophidian evades a diving forearm. Ophidian uses the ropes for the Duat Driver, getting another two count. As Jaxon checks his mirror in the corner, Ophidian drives his knees into Jaxon’s chest twice. Jaxon avoids Meteora and rolls up Ophidian for two. Jaxon hits the Head Shot for the pin and his third point at 10:06. This was an excellent back and forth contest. Jaxon had Ophidian well scouted, despite his own vanity getting in the way at times. The action was intense and made it feel like Jaxon truly earned a Grand Championship opportunity. I was disappointed in Jaxon’s singles debut against Lucas Calhoun, but this definitely made up for that bout. ***

Obariyon vs. Frightmare {LOR}

Frightmare put Obariyon’s partner Kodama out for good at “Orientation.” Obariyon cuts off Frightmare’s charge with a running knee. He powerslams Frightmare, causing Frightmare to roll outside. Obariyon looks to follow but gets his legs taken out. Frightmare tries his own dive but Obariyon cuts him off with a right hand. Obariyon lands his own suicide dive successfully. He suplexes Frightmare on the floor before rolling him back into the ring. Frightmare cuts off Obariyon coming off the top with a dropkick in mid-air. He drives his feet into Obariyon’s chest for two. He gets two again with a standing moonsault. Frightmare cracks Obariyon in the corner with a yakuza kick and lands a senton. Obariyon kicks out. A running kick to the chest from Frightmare is followed up with corner forearm strikes, a step-up enzuigiri, and Jon Woo dropkick. Obariyon blocks a double stomp and sends Frightmare across the ring. Frightmare cuts off a charging Obariyon with a leaping Frankensteiner. Obariyon however is able to string together some strikes in the corner and take down Frightmare with a back cracker. He nails Frightmare with Go to Hell for two. Obariyon goes for the Flying DDT. Frightmare catches him and lands a Northern Lights suplex for two. Frightmare leaps off the middle rope. Obariyon halts him and pops Frightmare up into a knee to the face. Obariyon nails Frightmare in the back of the head with a knee strike. As Obariyon goes to the top, Hallowicked attempts to interfere, but out of nowhere Icarus takes him out with a spear! Obariyon connects with the Flying DDT for the win at 7:48. These two have such good chemistry. They’re able to match each other’s intensity and their offense gels. Obariyon is having somewhat of a career resurgence as a solo competitor and I am really looking forward to see what his future holds. ***

Officers Warren Barksdale and Bruno Meloni are doing push-ups. Meloni is much more quick and fired up, while Barksdale takes a more relaxed approach. He pushes Barksdale to run, despite Barksdale looking out of breath.

Sylverhawk {X2K} & Razerhawk {X2K} vs. Sonny Defarge & Cornelius Crummels

Sylverhawk does some damage to Crummels’ left leg, but Crummels goes to the eyes to get him to stop. Sylverhawk applies a wristlock and Razerhawk drops a double axe handle onto his locked joint. Crummels goes to Razerhawk’s eyes, but it doesn’t save him from a tandem dropkick from the X2K. Defarge is sent out with an assisted headscissors from Razerhawk. The X2K pose. Defarge and Crummels take the bait. They are thrown right back outside, but again the X2K fake out a dive and pose. This time, Defarge and Crummels kick and pummel the X2K. Sylverhawk slams Crummels while Razerhawk disposes of Defarge. Defarge however trips Sylverhawk from the floor, allowing Defarge to hit a sliding boot to the side of the head. Crummels and Defarge wear down Sylverhawk in their corner until he rolls under a clothesline from Crummels and tags in Razerhawk. He hits a back handspring hip attack on Crummels for two. Sylverhawk blind tags in. Razerhawk low dropkicks Crummels to the floor and Sylverhawk follows with a suicide dive. Defarge obliterates Razerhawk with a running European uppercut. Sylverhawk flies in but is caught with Defarge’s uppercut too. He gives Razerhawk a quebradora backbreaker and spikes Razerhawk’s head into the canvas for the pin at 7:21. Defarge’s offense in the last 30 seconds looked absolutely awesome. I also liked the new tandem offense they incorporated during Razerhawk’s beat down, as it was less about finesse and more about impact. CHIKARA has spent considerable time in this Secret Season making Crummels and Defarge a force to be reckoned with and that is exactly how they came off here. **½

Travis Huckabee as a referee was known as a bit of a screw up. In Chicago, he decided that Max Smashmaster was not going to walk out a winner against Solo Darling. He decided then he was done running from bullies. Solo Darling interrupts his train of thought before he says what he is going to do to Max Smashmaster tonight.

Travis Huckabee vs. Max Smashmaster

Sidney Bakabella is in Smashmaster’s corner. He reminds Smashmaster that Huckabee cost him the winner’s purse at “Temple of Doom.” Smashmaster laughs as Huckabee tries to take him off his feet. Huckabee ends up grabbing a courting hold. Smashmaster shoves him down to the mat. Smashmaster pummels Huckabee while taunting him. Bakabella throws his own punch from the floor, angering Huckabee. Smashmaster throws some slaps and knocks Huckabee down with a punch. He drops Huckabee with a spinebuster. Smashmaster hits a tombstone piledriver but doesn’t go for the cover. He hits a second. Bryce threatens a castigo de excesivo if he doesn’t go for a pin. Smashmaster relents, pinning Huckabee with one hand for the win at 5:03. Huckabee getting a bit more offense would’ve been preferred, but I can’t deny that I enjoy watching Smashmaster bully people either. *½

Heidi Lovelace never seemed to fit in until she found CHIKARA. They embraced her for who she was and pushed her to become the woman and wrestler she is today. Now, she is going to depart and show the world what she learned in CHIKARA. She can’t think of a better way to end this chapter of her career then with who it began with: Arik Cannon, whom she faced at “Tag World Grand Prix 2013” in her CHIKARA debut. She doesn’t want Cannon to pull his punches. She needs him to give it his all so she can give back to the fans everything she has.

Arik Cannon vs. Heidi Lovelace

After feeling one another out, Cannon pulls a punch. Lovelace hits him with a sole butt kick and a headscissors. A pair of armdrag variants follow. She catches Cannon coming into the corner with a boot, then swings him to the floor with a Frankensteiner. Lovelace comes off the top with a high crossbody to the floor. In the ring, Cannon halts a headscissors and drives Lovelace into the mat. Cannon bodyslams her twice for two. Lovelace halts his momentum with a boot and back elbow. She has herself a violence party in the corner. Cannon avoids the Deadly Night Shade and drills her with a running powerslam for two. Cannon also gets two with a suplex. Lovelace avoids a corner attack, sending Cannon shoulder first into the ring post. She strings together some kicks in the corner and lands an STO for two. Enough strikes from Lovelace cause Cannon to no longer mind cracking her with a haymaker. A hard clothesline and exploder suplex get Cannon the closest nearfall of the match so far. Lovelace ducks a clothesline and spikes Cannon with a tornado DDT. She comes off the top with a senton for two. Cannon fights off Lovelace and hits Total Anarchy for two. Cannon blocks Deadly Night Shade. He goes for a waterwheel slam, but Lovelace counters with a spin-out Canadian Destroyer! Cannon kicks out. Cannon avoids Lovelace’s top rope double knees. They exchange superkicks. Lovelace dips Cannon into a kiss, shades of what he did to her at “Exit Strategy.” While Cannon is dazed, Lovelace small packages Cannon for the pin at 12:13. I’m very conflicted on how I feel about this match. On one hand, I detest when any CHIKARA match has the “man doesn’t want to fight a woman” story. In this company, it makes no sense whatsoever. I do however appreciate that for Cannon, it’s more than Heidi just being female, but a friend and comrade, and that they have a history in CHIKARA that might deter Cannon from being competitive. He gave her the final match she wanted in CHIKARA out of respect and eventually turned into the foe she wanted. The kiss into the finish on the surface seems goofy, but because Cannon was able to block her Deadly Night Shade attempts and kicked out of a Canadian Destroyer, I can buy that it was Lovelace figured the mental advantage was what she truly needed to secure the win. All in all it was a great way for Heidi to leave CHIKARA; fighting a former Young Lions Cup champion and her first opponent in her CHIKARA tenure. ***¼

The Closers are tired of waiting for Moustache Mountain. They’re used to teams ducking and dodging them, but they’re ready to bring home los Campeonatos de Parejas for the boss.

Grand Championship
Hallowicked {LOR} vs. Wani

Hallowicked has been champion since 5.30.2016 and this is his seventh defense. Wani charges Hallowicked into the corner. He leapfrogs over Hallowicked’s response charge and takes him down with a pair of armdrags and a hip toss. Wani trips Hallowicked onto the middle rope. He slides outside and cracks Hallowicked in the face. Hallowicked gets in some kicks. Wani traps his legs in the ropes and lands a flying kick to the throat for two. He wears down Hallowicked’s neck by Gator Rolling him while holding onto a front facelock. He drops his knee onto Hallowicked’s neck. Hallowicked elbows Wani away only to get knocked down with a running back elbow. Wani lands a running elbow drop for two. He rakes Hallowicked’s back. Hallowicked reverses a whip and lands a step-up enzuigiri in the corner. He brings down Wani with a super snapmare. He considers a Swanton, but instead comes down and drops an elbow. Hallowicked drives his shoulder into Wani’s mid-section multiple times before snapmaring him into a forearm strike to the neck. Hallowicked knees Wani in the stomach to stop Wani’s strikes, then drives him head first into the canvas, getting a two count with a jackknife pin. Go 2 Sleepy Hollow yields the same result. Wani evades a Swanton Bomb. Hallowicked rolls through. Both men go for a yakuza kick at the same time, connecting and knocking one another down. At the same time, both men clothesline one another (twice) and thumb one another in their mask eyeports! Hallowicked is able to find Wani in the corner and drive his shoulder into the stomach. Wani maneuvers around so that he can catch Hallowicked with a German suplex for two. Hallowicked halts Wani with a boot from the corner. Wani fights out of Go 2 Sleepy Hollow and hits another flying kick. Wani drops Hallowicked with a TKO for two. Wani suplexes Hallowicked in from the apron for another two count. Wani puts on a headscissors, twisting on Hallowicked’s right arm at the same time. Hallowicked breaks free. He ducks a flying kick and hooks Wani for Never Wake Up, getting Hallowicked a jackknife pin for the pin at 10:42. Rudo vs. Rudo matches can be a little tough, and you could tell at times the crowd was confused how to react. That said, Wani put in probably his best effort to date, and Hallowicked’s reactions to him were well done. They did an admirable job making Wani seem like a threat but I never truly bought into the idea he was at Hallowicked’s level. The one thing I appreciated most of all was Hallowicked adapting to Wani’s offense throughout the match and persevering because of it. This was a good, maybe even a very good title match, but of the three so far in the Secret Season it was my least favorite. ***

Just like they did with UltraMantis Black, Team Sea Stars ask Heidi Lovelace to be their mentor. Heidi is flattered and thinks very highly of them, but today is her last day with CHIKARA, and thus she cannot be their mentor. Heidi puts on her glasses and continues to walk out with her luggage.