5.16.2020
Championship Rundown
Grand Champion: Dasher Hatfield
Campeones de Parejas: Solo Darling & Willow Nightingale
Young Lions Cup Champion: TBD
Commentary is provided by Jason Worthington & Sidney Bakabella.
Still Life With Apricots and Pears examines at the two finalists in this year’s Young Lions Cup tournament. There may be nobody more dangerous than Ricky South, but a splash of gold would go well with verdant Green.
Donna Rama vs. George Patrovsky
Rama immediately wiped out Patrovsky with a spin kick as soon as the match began. She knocked him down with a flying forearm after the fact. Although he took her to the corner, she came exploding out of it with a spear. A Regalplex gets her the pin at 1:46. Short, sweet, and ruthless – a pitch perfect performance by Rama. For good measure, she tosses Patrovsky to the floor after the bell.
Scott Holladay presents the singles edition of the Scoreboard. Lucas Calhoun and the Spoiler both have two points. The Spoiler says he’s the meteor that took out the dinosaur of the Masked Enforcer. Earning points has been easy for him, and he’s planning to earn his third point soon enough. With one point we have Donna Rama, Ophidian, The Whisper, Matt Makowski, Boomer Hatfield, Cabana Man Dan, and Mike Quackenbush. We hear from ZERO who is trying to get on the leaderboard. He thinks it’s time to beef up his singles career, and he has a list of people he’d love to face. Merlok would help make him one of the stronger people on the roster. He calls both Spoiler and Molly McCoy rude. He lists some other potential competitors, but he just needs to beat any three of them to get to the top person on his list: Dasher Hatfield.
Young Lions Cup XVI Final Round Match
Green Ant {C} vs. Ricky South
“Young Lions Cup XVI” – Philadelphia, PA – 1.18.2020
This pitted South’s size and strength over Green Ant’s submission game. Green Ant attempted both the CHIKARA Special and a variation of the Koji Clutch, but could not get South to submit. South did not win the favor of any audience members when he went to Green Ant’s antennae in the process, but they were behind Green Ant from the start so currying favor wouldn’t have done much for him anyhow. Green Ant got the biggest reaction when he kicked out of South’s piledriver, which neither of South’s opposition in the previous two rounds could do. While Green Ant survived that, he made an error of ascending the ropes too slowly after knocking down South with a superkick. South messed with Green Ant’s mask enough to get him in position for a super piledriver, which gave South the win and the Cup at 9:04. Commentary mentioned that this was a similar situation to 2011, when the original Green Ant lost the Cup to a larger, more experienced international talent. In that instance, Tadasuke didn’t return to CHIKARA until his reign as Cup holder was over, and he only defended the Cup twice in Japan on events that were not filmed. As much as I’d like for his reign to be more like Cam Zagami’s, COVID-19 is going to make that very difficult. South was an excellent performer all tournament long, and his style and aesthetic add something unique to the shows. Green Ant failed in both the finals of the Young Lions Cup and Johnny Kidd Invitational, so one has to wonder where his career as an individual goes from here. Not a knock at all; he too did very well for the duration of the tournament. ***
A new segment called “Warp Zone” presents to us clips from a classic CHIKARA match: Drew Gulak vs. Mike Quackenbush from “Supremacy” in 2016. This at the time was Gulak’s final CHIKARA match. However, by total coincidence, Gulak was released from his WWE contract the same day this episode aired, so we will see what his future holds.
Scott Holladay brings us this week’s Cibernetico Special Report. The Spoiler issues an open challenge for anyone to face him at the Cibernetico event. We then are shown a message from BLANK. He says the CHIKARA audience needs a re-introduction to him. He has the perfect entrance in mind. Cabana Man Dan represents all that BLANK isn’t – he’s kitsch. He’s embarrassed by Dan. Some incomplete thoughts end the video, and we learn BLANK vs. Cabana Man Dan has officially been signed for the event. Sonny Defarge comments on his upcoming match with Boomer Hatfield. Defarge says hope is the most dangerous emotion in the world. Boomer hopes to succeed in professional wrestling despite being on a downturn for the past year, hopes to reconcile with his family, and hopes to get under Defarge’s skin by claiming he is a cheater. Defarge says the sooner Boomer realizes none of those hopes will be realized, the better.
The final four matches of this episode are under Crucible rules: no ropes, 2:00 time limits, and you can only win by submission, knockout, or if your opponent exits the ring (ring out) whether on their own or by circumstance. The entire Crucible (minus Princess KimberLee) is ringside for these matches, with Whisper showing disinterest with a yawn.
Before the CHIKARA group goes ringside, Mike Quackenbush explains why he accepted these Crucible fights today. He remembers his original training days where you were chopped bloody and made to run yourselves ragged before being told you didn’t have what it took to be a wrestler. That training hindered him from accomplishing some of his biggest career goals. He believes there is a right and wrong way to cultivate talent. He wants to make sure every one of his Wrestle Factory trainees have the best possible chance to achieve their dreams. The way the Crucible trains he does not agree with, and he refuses to see it happen under his roof, and he knows when they go face to face with the Crucible, they can stand tall. The CHIKARA group consisting of all three members of Forged, ZERO, Mobius, and Mike Quackenbush make their way ringside.
Devantes {TC} vs. ZERO
“Stem the Hemorrhaging of Polka” – Philadelphia, PA – 2.29.2020
This is a battle between the anchors of this year’s Cibernetico teams. ZERO surprised everybody with a clothesline to Devantes. He had control of Devantes for a significant majority of the bout, to the point where Devantes purposefully shoved ZERO to the floor to win the match at 1:41. You could see Whisper slapping the mat as a form of support for ZERO, to which DeMorest admonished him. Speaking of DeMorest:
E.M. DeMorest {TC} vs. JoSue Ibañez
“Stem the Hemorrhaging of Polka” – Philadelphia, PA – 2.29.2020
Ibañez almost had DeMorest knocked out of the ring early on. Ibañez’s tactic was to make DeMorest pass out with a sleeper, which he kept on despite DeMorest’s efforts to escape with an F-5 and a TKO. He turned Ibañez forward and knocked him to the mat. He then landed an F-5 and a sit-out powerbomb for the knockout at 2:00. Arguably a questionable decision.
Tunku Amir {TC} vs. Xavier Faraday
“Stem the Hemorrhaging of Polka” – Philadelphia, PA – 2.29.2020
Faraday kept consistent with his strikes and kicks while ducking and dodging Amir. Amir took him down with a Polish Hammer and double stomped his back. Faraday avoided being thrown into a ring post and threw a distracted Amir into the opposite corner instead. Three knee strikes knocked out Amir, and Faraday was declared the victor at 1:24! Ophidian tosses Amir backstage and admonishes him.
Matt Makowski {TC} vs. Joshua Wells
“Stem the Hemorrhaging of Polka” – Philadelphia, PA – 2.29.2020
Makowski pulled Wells into the ring before their match began. The sneak attack helped Makowski get in kicks and lock on the Teraflare for the submission victory in just 0:26. The CHIKARA team had to interject to get Makowski to let go. The CHIKARA team was ready to fight the Crucible, but Ophidian had them stand down. They exited, then the CHIKARA crew went backstage, assisting Wells who was nursing his arm.
Really interesting set of matches which showed the CHIKARA side were growing more capable of handling the Crucible in matches contested under their rules. It took desperate measures for Devantes to win, DeMorest barely got the win in the time allotted, and we don’t know how Wells would have fared if Makowski didn’t attack him before their match. The way this was formatted also serves as a template of sorts for what we could expect in the upcoming Cibernetico.
Post-credits, we see Razerhawk at home where he finds a six pack of A-Treat soda in his fridge. There’s a note from Danjerhawk on it that says “hope you find this before it goes BOOM!”, a nice rib as a result of the bet they made in Episode 3. Although neither were correct, Danjerhawk chose Green Ant, who made it much further in the tournament than Razerhawk’s choice, Boomer Hatfield.
The CHIKARA Special 