6.6.2020
Championship Rundown
Grand Champion: Dasher Hatfield
Campeones de Parejas: Solo Darling & Willow Nightingale
Young Lions Cup Champion: Ricky South
Commentary is provided by Jason Worthington & Sidney Bakabella.
The episode begins with a simple, yet very strong message:
Callux the Castigator enters the building, scaring some nearby staff with a roar, and walks forward with his barbed wire wrapped arm held high.
Callux the Castigator {PW} vs. Bill Pierce
Callux darn near murders Pierce with an overhand chop in the corner. Pierce tries a second rope offensive maneuver and is shoulder blocked out of mid-air. Although Callux has him pinned with a running elbow drop, he decides that isn’t enough, and instead pins him with a Black Hole Slam at 2:21. This is exactly what an introduction for Callux should have been. He carries away Pierce in a bodybag (kinda sorta.)
Scott Holladay brings us the Singles Edition of the ScoreBoard. Ophidian, Lucas Calhoun, and the Spoiler have two points. Spoiler says somebody has answered his open challenge for the Cibernetico event, but the stench of the HR office keeps him away from learning who it is. He’s ready to earn his third point. Callux the Castigator, The Whisper, Matt Makowski, and Donna Rama all have one point. Rama says she really enjoyed annihilating her opponent to earn her one point on Episode 8. Outside of the ring she’s bound by society’s rules, but in the ring, she can let loose and break all the bones she desires. She warns the CHIKARA roster of her wrath. Cabana Man Dan, BLANK, and Boomer Hatfield all have one point as well. Boomer says over the Memorial Day weekend, his Dad emerged from the pool with his Grand Championship belt around his waist. The title has made Dasher reach a whole new level of cuckoo, and someone has to take the title away from him. It may as well be him, as he is planning to get his second point from Sonny Defarge at the Cibernetico. He now has some extra motivation to do so. We are also treated to a Sonny Defarge highlight reel.
The F.I.S.T. highlight reel from last week is shown again, emphasizing on Icarus. This leads us to this week’s Warp Zone, where we witness the 2016 Cibernetico match joined in progress. The remaining heXed Men of Hallowicked, Icarus, Jigsaw, and Mark Angelosetti face the last two men on Team CHIKARA, Missile Assault Man and Dasher Hatfield. You can read my review of the entire match here.
JoSue Ibañez vs. The Whisper {TC}
Whatever Whisper threw at Ibañez, he had a counter or evasion ready. Because of this, Whisper decided to change things up and introduce a slew of submissions of which Ibañez would be less likely to have known were coming. Ibañez himself was fighting for a sleeper hold, and on the third attempt finally was able to apply it fully. Whisper turned him around into a slam for a two count. He had a new submission locked in when a video from Ophidian played on the Wrestle Factory monitors, criticizing Whisper for not being able to defeat Ibañez in two minutes. This distraction gives Ibañez the opening to hit a satellite stunner for the pin at 12:19. Ibañez getting a singles win in a main event is definitely a major accomplishment in his CHIKARA career. It’s just a shame he didn’t earn it on his own. The wrestling was more miss than hit and the story took such a circuitous route to a very unsatisfactory conclusion. Such a strange match all around, but I am thrilled for JoSue. *½
Sam Leterna brings us the Cibernetico Special Report, where a new match for the event is announced: F.I.S.T. (Icarus & Travis Huckabee) vs. The Red Queen & One-Eyed Jack.
After a highlight reel of Queen and Jack, we hear from F.I.S.T. Huckabee says they earned their two points before Queen and Jack had even debuted for CHIKARA. Icarus says they are the most dominant, deadly, and dangerous team in the company, and that Queen and Jack having two points doesn’t mean anything, as they will be knocked back down to zero once they face himself and Huckabee.
BLANK gives a message to his Cibernetico opponent, Cabana Man Dan. He says CMD isn’t art – he’s kitsch and camp. A true artist suffers for their work. They might lose their ear like van Gogh, and BLANK will make Dan lose something in order to create art. They will collaborate on some bloody, good art.
Sonny Defarge hopes if he has any children that they would be nothing like Boomer Hatfield. He sympathizes with Dasher Hatfield, as Dasher is a Saint and his only mistake is his softball of a son, Boomer Hatfield, whom Defarge will face at the Cibernetico. BLANK hacks the system to play his promo for a second time.
Jigsaw informs us via phone call he has a training injury that will result in him missing the Torneo Cibernetico matches. Leterna informs us that Ophidian has told her E.M DeMorest from the Crucible team is also injured, so the sides for the Cibernetico match remain even at 6 vs. 6.
NEXT WEEK: Cibernetico coverage begins!
No post-credits scene for our first Action Arcade with totally new footage. The two matches were a minor wash, but the rest of the show did a fine job getting me excited for all the Cibernetico event coverage. Strange that it went from beind a singular event to a multi-week event, but these are strange times indeed.
The CHIKARA Special 