Deep Breath


Chicago, IL – 10.28.2017

Championship Rundown
Grand Champion: Juan Francisco de Coronado
Campeones de Parejas: El Hijo del Ice Cream & Ice Cream Jr.
Young Lions Cup Champion: Ophidian

Commentary is provided by Mike Quackenbush.

Everett Connors mentions he and “Bieber” (his Justin Bieber cardboard cutout) are 0-2 in CHIKARA. However, those matches took place in Philadelphia. CHIKARA is in the Midwest, his home turf, and the third time’s a charm. He tells Travis Huckabee that he and Bieber will get their first win tonight. They will be the king of everything.

Travis Huckabee vs. Everett Connors

Connors of course has the Bieber cardboard cutout with him and Connors has him propped up in the corner. He fears Huckabee will mess with him, so Connors moves Bieber to the floor. They exchange holds until Huckabee backslides Connors for two. Huckabee grabs a hammerlock out of double knuckle lock. Connors grabs the ropes. He fails to get a backslide of his own, and Huckabee mule kicks him in the lower back. Huckabee ducks under a leapfrog and goes to the floor, coming back in with Bieber in hand. Huckabee tosses Bieber into Connors’ arms, then trips him and counts a two count for Bieber. Both men make sure not to collide with Bieber in the corner as they exchange back elbows. Connors kicks out Huckabee’s leg before delivering a superkick for two. He goes for a short piledriver using the ropes, but Huckabee counters with a sunset flip. He goes for the swinging Stretch Muffler but Connors kicks him away. Huckabee headbutts Connors in the sternum for two. Connors backs Huckabee to the corner to avoid the butterfly suplex. Connors catches him with an enzuigiri before swinging out of the corner with a DDT for two. Despite Connors rocking Huckabee with two hard forearms, Huckabee is able to lay him out with a Jon Woo dropkick. Connors once again escapes the swinging Stretch Muffler. He snaps Huckabee’s torso on the middle rope, then hits the short piledriver using the middle ropes. Huckabee finds the strength to kick out. Connors goes for a superkick. Huckabee catches his leg and swings him around in the Stretch Muffle! Grabbing Bieber does Connors no good, as Huckabee releases and puts on the Cycling Stretch Muffler for the submission victory at 8:41. This was a fun match with some smart wrestling. They built up Huckabee’s submission all match long and it paid off. They blended in the right amount of humor with the action and let Huckabee show a little more personality than usual. Perfectly executed. **¾

You can watch this match in its entirety here.

The Carnies of Nick Iggy and Kerry Awful are backstage. Awful says the circus is in Chicago for their CHIKARA debut. Iggy introduces themselves. As Carnies, all they care about is money. They’re gonna get the points, the money, and then get out of here. All they need is three points, and their three ringed circus will become Campeones de Parejas. They invite Defarge and Crummels to “step right up.”

Nick Iggy & Kerry Awful vs. Sonny Defarge & Cornelius Crummels

Crummels offers one dollar to Iggy to lay down. A fan counters with five dollars, which Iggy accepts. Iggy lays down, but then rolls to the floor as Crummels goes to pin him. Awful sneaks in from behind with a schoolboy for two. Crummels shoulder blocks do not budge Awful. Awful changes direction on Crummels to mow him down with his own shoulder block. He side Russian leg sweeps Crummels into multiple pinning attempts. An angry Defarge tags in to face Iggy. They argue over who is larger, leading to the fans requesting Bryce to flex, which he happily obliges. When Defarge flexes, Iggy snaps his suspenders into his back. Defarge uses his diseased hand to switch a side headlock and shoulder block Iggy. Iggy catches Defarge with a monkey flip and trips him into a double fish hook. Defarge pulls his hands out of his mouth and throws him forward. Defarge sticks his right finger into his ear before putting it in Iggy’s mouth. Awful rubs his armpit before putting his nose over Defarge’s nose. Crummels sneezes in his hand before grabbing Awful’s beard. The chain is broken, and Crummels ends up taking the Car-Knees for two. Crummels sneezes in Iggy’s face. Defarge distracts him so Crummels can dropkick him from behind. A slingshot from Crummels into a neck snap across the top rope from Defarge turns the match into the former Campeones favor. Iggy eventually escapes their double team tactics by rolling under a clothesline from Defarge and tagging in Awful. Awful has a violence party on Defarge after knocking Crummels off the apron. Awful unravels Defarge into a lariat for two. He sends Crummels to the floor before hitting the Earthquake Splash. Crummels jumps back in the ring to break the pin. Awful weaves underneath a double clothesline and sends Crummels and Defarge crashing into each other. The Carnies hit the IOU-1 Driver on Crummels for two. They set up for the Carnie Stomp. Crummels sweeps out Iggy’s leg to stop him. An uppercut/leg sweep combo from Crummels and Defarge on Awful earn them a two count. They deliver Great Expectations onto Awful, but Iggy intercepts the pin just in time. All four men fight until the Carnies hook up Crummels and Defarge for the Force Destroyer! Both of them roll outside to avoid a pin from the Carnies. They follow outside where Crummels sends Awful face first into a ring post. Iggy fights Crummels and Defarge off on his own in the ring valiantly, but ends up getting clobbered by a rolling lariat from Defarge. The super monkey flip sends Iggy across the ring. Crummels follows up with The Best of Times off the second rope onto Iggy for the pin at 13:25 while Defarge stops Awful from breaking it up. The Carnies had one of the best outsider debuts in CHIKARA in a long while, if not one of the best ever. They established their characters, won the crowd over, and had a really exciting match with the former Campeones. The crowd seemed genuinely crestfallen when they lost. It would be absolutely insane for CHIKARA to not use them again, and major kudos are deserved to Crummels and Defarge who were picture perfect opponents from both a character and style perspective. ***¼

Jeremy Leary admits Space Monkey “got him” in Orlando, but Leary’s a different man now than he was then. He now has purpose, and Space Monkey will be surprised what purpose can do to a man. It’s the same purpose that rid CHIKARA of Lucas Calhoun. In the same way he got rid of Calhoun, he’ll be sending Space Monkey to the black hole he belongs in.

Space Monkey vs. Jeremy Leary

Monkey is dressed up as Donkey Kong for Halloween. Leary doesn’t appreciate Monkey picking at his hair. Monkey low bridges Leary to the floor and fakes him out with a teased dive. Back inside, Monkey eats part of a banana before delivering a Frankensteiner and a moonsault block. Leary rolls back outside. Leary blocks a penalty kick. Monkey however cartwheels off the apron. Leary stops his monkey flip, places him in the front row, and delivers a superkick. He slams Monkey on the apron and hits a tiger feint kick. In the ring, Leary delivers a running corner punch and a diving uppercut. He yanks Monkey’s Donkey Kong costume off to the crowd’s dismay. Leary hooks Monkey with his own arm before driving him into the canvas. Monkey reverses a whip to the corner. Monkey cartwheel kicks Leary from the apron. Leary however trips Monkey when Monkey attempts a springboard attack. After a few elbows to the chest, Leary stops a recovering Monkey with a powerslam for two. Leary continues his attack until Monkey stops him with a corner splash. Leary responds with a forearm in the corner, so Monkey hurls himself with a cannonball senton in the opposite corner. Leary pokes Monkey in the eyes and drops him with an Ace Crusher Codebreaker for a nearfall. Monkey climbs Leary’s shoulders as Leary is gloating and elbows him to the head. Monkey follows him to the floor with a tope con hilo. Leary rolls to the other side of the ring, and this time Monkey follows with another tope con hilo. He hits the Monkey-Go-Round back in the ring for two. Leary halts a slingshot from Monkey and hangs him up in the ropes. He drills him with the Fever Dream (a spike Complete Shot), but Monkey’s tail is on the ropes which breaks the count! Monkey recovers with a Michinoku Driver for two. Monkey goes to the top rope. He shoves the referee into the ropes to crotch Monkey on the top turnbuckle. Leary brings him down with the Tower of London, but Monkey gets his shoulder up right before the three count. Leary calls out Lucas Calhoun as he twists up both of Monkey’s wrists and fingers. He catapults up into a Complete Shot for two. Monkey hits a desperation high kick to buy some time. He gets in some strikes, but Leary stops him with a double thrust to the throat. Leary charges but gets monkey flipped into the corner. Monkey hits a moonsault senton for two. Leary ducks a tail whip and goes to the eyes. He sends Monkey head first into the middle turnbuckle before delivering a knee trembler for the win at 16:17. This was certainly my favorite Leary performance to date. He’s added some unique and impactful offense to his arsenal while keeping his focus on Monkey’s head and neck the entirety of the bout. The CHIKAGO crowd loving Space Monkey and him performing as well as he always does helped too. I do think this was a bit long, but otherwise found myself pleasantly surprised. ***

Missile Assault Man vs. Merlok

Merlok shoves Missile across the ring out of a lock-up. Missile grabs his left leg, but Merlok Beele’s him away. Missile heel picks Merlok while grabbing a waistlock, but Merlok escapes and shoulder blocks him down. Missile tripes Merlok and rolls forward into a crossface. Merlok picks him up into a side slam. Merlok charges him in the corner. Missile jumps over and rolls him up for two. Merlok turns Missile inside out with a lariat. Missile is able to sneak in some uppercuts once off the mat. Merlok catches him in mid-air and drives him down to the canvas for two. Merlok does more damage to Missile’s neck and back. Merlok calls for the Spike, but Missile stops him by jamming Merlok’s neck on the top rope. Missile quickly ascends the rope, but Merlok pulls him down. Missile is able to hit a pump kick, but Merlok shuts him down with a superkick and corner splash. Missile tries to get momentum going with forearm strikes, but Merlok shuts him down with a Doctor Bomb. Missile kicks Merlok in the side of the head from the mat. Merlok forearms Missile across the shoulders and chokes him on the middle rope in response. Missile goes to the floor where Merlok drives him back first into the apron. Missile tags Merlok with forearms and uppercuts. Merlok charges at him, but Missile moves and Merlok crashes into the ring post. Missile baseball slide dropkicks Merlok before suicide diving after him. Unfortunately for Missile, Merlok catches him and throws him overhead out of a belly-to-belly suplex! Missile army crawls back to ringside and gets in the ring just before the twenty count. Merlok stomps on his back repeatedly before whipping him forcefully into the corner. Bryce checks on Missile after Melok does more damage to the ribs. Missile beckons Merlok who is more than happy to oblige. He forearms Missile, crushes him in the corner, and then picks him up for the World’s Strongest Slam. Missile grabs an arm and brings Merlok down into a cross armbreaker! Merlok with one-arm muscles up Missile into a sit-out powerbomb. Missile kicks out of the pin. He throws uppercuts until Merlok cuts him off and delivers a headbutt. Missile escapes the Emerald Flowsion but can’t get Merlok up onto his own shoulders. Merlok scoops him up onto the top turnbuckle. Missile elbows his way out and comes off the top with a diving uppercut. He lands a series of running uppercuts to Merlok in the corner. The damage allows him to muscle up Merlok for the rolling Death Valley Driver. When Merlok kicks out, Missile applies the crossface. Merlok fights his way into a position where he can pick up Missile and drop him with the Emerald Flowsion for the pin at 15:57. You could see the shift in the match where Missile was finally able to get some momentum going against Merlok and it looked like he would do what very few have done before him in best Merlok. It took literally everything Merlok had left to best Missile, all but collapsing after hitting his finisher. I loved the story, I loved how good Missile looked here, and I think both competitors came out of this one for the better. ***¼

Oleg the Usurper & Kobald {LOR} vs. Ophidian {OP} & Amasis {OP}

Much like The Whisper has become the new Ophidian, a new Amasis has taken place of the previous Amasis who had his mask removed at “Temple of Doom” and has not been seen since.

Oleg begins this match on his own, attacking Oleg before Kobald enters and before the bell rings. He gets a two count early with a rolling senton onto Ophidian. Kobald makes his entrance as Oleg has Ophidian in a chinlock. Amasis interrupts Oleg with a dropkick. The Portal get in some shots before Oleg ducks their double clothesline and nails them both down. Oleg decides not to tag in Kobald, but Kobald does it himself when Ophidian dropkicks Oleg towards him. Kobald is able to take Ophidian down with a running seated senton. Oleg boots down both members of the Portal when they look to double team Kobald. They send the Portal outside. Kobald offers Oleg a handshake. Before Oleg can accept, the Portal re-enter the ring and attack. Ophidian holds Oleg while he and Amasis deliver an enzuigiri/superkick combo. The Portal give Kobald the Slave Initiation. The Portal continue to double team Kobald until the Pyramid plex goes awry. Kobald hits a Doomsday Device on Ophidian, causing Ophidian to spike Amasis with a poisonrana! Oleg tags in. He picks up speed off the ropes before splashing Ophidian and Amasis in opposite corners. He double chokeslams the Portal for two. Kobald tries to introduce a foreign object which Oleg objects. Kobald is turned around by Oleg and accidentally strikes him with the object! Feeling guilt, Kobald runs away. This leaves Oleg susceptible for the Osirian Sacrament, giving this iteration of the Portal the win at 10:04. The Portal didn’t look terribly crisp in some of their tandem offense, which given they’re a bootleg of the original team actually kind of works. Oleg had a fun, dominant performance and the fact that he almost shook Kobald’s hand shows he’s willing to get down to business even if he doesn’t agree with the partnership. I enjoyed the match and thought it accomplished what it needed to. **½

Dasher Hatfield says it takes a big man to admit he’s outmatched, and he’s willing to admit he’s outmatched against Moose. However, the bigger they are, the harder they all. Hatfield’s heart is the biggest aspect in his matchup against Moose tonight, and his heart will not fall.

Dasher Hatfield {T} vs. Moose {TNA}

Moose backs Hatfield to the corner but does not strike. Hatfield does the same, even offering a handshake, which Moose accepts. Hatfield’s own shoulder block makes himself fall and barely budges Moose. Hatfield invites Moose to try it himself. He tries to armdrag Moose, who resists and sends Hatfield to the ropes. Hatfield is able to give Moose a “good game” smack to the behind before pulling off a casadora armdrag. He overhand chops Moose before running the ropes into an armdrag. Moose goozles Hatfield and places him on the top rope, then dropkicks Hatfield to the floor! Moose’s chops hit so hard the fans wince when they connect. Moose insults Hatfield by “rounding the bases” before booting Hatfield in a front row seat. He rounds the bases again, but this time Hatfield cuts him off with a forearm shot. Hatfield charges, only to get popped up into a powerbomb onto the ring apron! Moose sends Hatfield back in the ring. Hatfield comes right back out with a suicide dive, then a second. Moose ducks a third, but Hatfield catches him off guard with a moonsault block off the apron! Hatfield chops Moose as he is seated, then cracks him with a sliding boot. Back in the ring, Moose refuses to back down from Hatfield’s forearm shots. Hatfield goes for another boot. Moose catches hit, hits his own pump kick, then splashes, hip attacks, and dropkicks Hatfield in the corner. Hatfield gets his boot up to prevent a corner attack. Moose pulls him down into a Rydeen Bomb for two. Moose goes for another hip attack. Hatfield catches Moose by the waist and German suplexes him. He kicks out Moose’s leg when Moose tries to charge again. He baseball slides dropkicks Moose in the corner for two. Hatfield weaves Moose into an abdominal stretch attempt. It takes a lot of effort, but he gets it applied. Moose hip tosses his way free. Hatfield ducks two discuss lariats and nails Moose with a lariat of his own for two. Both competitors unload with chops. Moose goes for the Game Changer but Hatfield superkicks to block. The two men clash heads, knocking them both down. Both men get to their feet. Moose bicycle kicks Hatfield and nails the Hitstick for a close nearfall. Moose charges again. Hatfield uses his momentum to armdrag Moose into the corner. Hatfield hits the Jackhammer for two! He tries it again. Moose pump kicks Hatfield instead, pops up Hatfield into a powerbomb, and lands a senton splash for an incredibly close nearfall. Moose goes for the Game Changer. Hatfield ducks and rolls him up for two. Moose pump kicks Hatfield once more. Hatfield pops him up into a sit-out powerbomb. The second Jackhammer gets Hatfield the pin at 16:42. This was like Merlok vs. Missile Assault Man but better. Hatfield and Moose beat the crap out each other. Moose showed his strategy through his repetitive offense and Hatfield was able to get Moose where he needed him to be because of it. Hatfield has now bested Merlok (the only person to do so), Moose, and has Keith Lee on the horizon. Hatfield went from being a guy who couldn’t win a match to getting his mojo back on the path to the Grand Championship. This is a match that exceeded my expectations (mostly because I had not seen a Moose match in years) and capped off a great show. ***¾


One Response to Deep Breath

  1. You should call the Whisper and that nobody the Nosirian Portal. It’s an insult to Amasis and Ophidian’s nine years together to say that those two jerks are the Osirian Portal. Could Big Titan!Amasis be the repackaged Lithuanian Snow Troll actually having to work for his paycheck again, since he hadn’t wrestled since “For Your Eyes Only” in 2014?

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