The Parting of Ways


Gibsonville, NC – 7.8.2017

Championship Rundown
Grand Champion: Juan Francisco de Coronado
Campeones de Parejas: Sonny Defarge & Cornelius Crummels
Young Lions Cup Champion: Hermit Crab

Commentary is provided by Mike Quackenbush.

Officer Bruno Meloni vs. Race Jaxon

Jaxon immediately bicycle kicks Meloni. Meloni responds with a side headlock takeover and a belly-to-belly suplex. He drives his elbow into Jaxon’s neck before landing a basement dropkick. Meloni bars Jaxon’s left arm. Jaxon pulls Meloni’s hair and warns him not to embarrass him ever again. Meloni Jon Woo dropkicks Jaxon to the corner. He misses a running knee and Jaxon scoops up Meloni for a backbreaker. Jaxon checks himself in the mirror as he brushes Meloni with the sole of his boot. Meloni forearms Jaxon several times in the face. Jaxon weaves Meloni into a back elbow and snapmares him into a rough kick to the back of the head. Jaxon puts Meloni’s sungless onto Meloni while putting on a straightjacket choke. Meloni kicks Jaxon in the head from the apron. He cuts off Jaxon’s charge with a back elbow and another with an upturned boot. Jaxon scoops him up for another backbreaker, but Meloni converts into a sleeper hold! Jaxon rams Meloni face first into the top turnbuckle to escape. Meloni avoids a knee and comes off the second rope with a crossbody. He hits Case Closed on Jaxon for two. As Meloni picks him up, Jaxon goes to Meloni’s eyes. He hits a clothesline through the ropes. Jaxon is distracted by the screen in the Sportatorium, yelling at Hype Rockwell in absentia. Meloni wipes him out with a baseball slide dropkick. Meloni schoolboys Jaxon back in the ring. Jaxon rolls forward and grabs the ropes, pinning Meloni at 6:22. This got across the point that Hype Rockwell is in Jaxon’s head. Meloni and Jaxon work well together, though it’s strange to me that Meloni wouldn’t be able to defeat a distracted Jaxon. I guess you can chalk that up to him being more used to tag team competition. **

Kobald is so excited to partner with Oleg the Usurper. Oleg is not happy about the team. Kobald says Oleg will defeat the Xyberhawx with “Off With His Head.” Oleg leaves without saying a word.

Razerhawk {X2K} & Nytehawk {X2K} vs. Oleg the Usurper & Kobald {LOR}

Kobald begged Director of Fun Mike Quackenbush to team with Oleg to the point where he had no choice but to acquiesce. Before the bell, Kobald presents Oleg with a belated birthday gift: an onion necklace. Oleg gives it back. Kobald says it’s okay that Oleg doesn’t like it, because he got another gift. He goes under the ring and asks for help from CHIKARA staff. Razerhawk has enough and goes to attack Oleg, but Oleg backdrops him onto the staff and Kobald outside! Kobald clobbers Razerhawk before putting him back in the ring.

Oleg goes for Off With His Head. Nytehawk goes to intercept but Kobald cuts him off. He wants to hit Off With His Head on Nytehawk, but Oleg stops him and places Kobald on the top turnbuckle. The Xyberhawk knock Oleg to the corner with double dropkicks. They rid of Kobald when he enters. Nytewhawk splashes Kobald on the floor. Oleg splashes Razerhawk against the ropes. He tries Off With His Head but is again halted by Nytehawk. Oleg sets up for a double chokeslam. Kobald sneaks underneath hoping to help. Again Oleg places Kobald on the top turnbuckle and tells him to stay put. Nytehawk assists Razerhawk with a Frankensteiner. Kobald spears Nytehawk and hits Feast Your Eyes on Razerhawk. Kobald crushes both Xyberhawk with a running elbow drop. Oleg picks up speed on the ropes but Kobald is in the way of his corner splash. Oleg has to stop and place Kobald on the top turnbuckle. The Xyberhawx escape Oleg’s splash after plenty of time to recover. Kobald catches Razerhawk’s Frankensteiner attempt. Oleg Usurper kicks Nytehawk. Kobald passes Razerhawk to Oleg for Off With His Head, getting Oleg the pin at 3:57. This was too short to be anything substantial, but you got the message loud and clear that Kobald is more of a hindrance to Oleg than he is a help. *

Officer Warren Barksdale vs. Hallowicked {LOR}

A decoy Officer Magnum is carried in a dog bjorn on Barksdale’s back. Hallowicked calls Magnum a disgusting beast and says he hates dogs. Barksdale doesn’t care for how he’s talking to his partner and writes Hallowicked a ticket for animal cruelty. Hallowicked rips up the ticket and throws it away, so Barksdale issues a second ticket for littering. Hallowicked disposes of that ticket into the crowd. Barksdale issues a third ticket for assaulting a fan. Hallowicked only recognizes the authority of Nazmaldun. Fed up, Barksdale strikes Hallowicked to start the match.

Barksdale chops and punches Hallowicked to all four corners of the ring. He slams Hallowicked and goes for Obey the Law. Hallowicked slides out to the apron and sends Barksdale face first into the turnbuckle. He hits a slingshot senton for two. Barksdale waists no time after getting to his feet, going back to the strikes that got him control at the start. He muscles up Hallowicked for a spinebuster for two. He also gets two with a dropkick. Hallowicked turns things around with a high backdrop and a Rydeen Bomb for two. Barksdale and Hallowicked trade strikes. Barksdale scoops Hallowicked into a 2k1 Bomb for two. After a belly-to-back suplex, Barksdale ascends the ropes. Hallowicked shoves referee Kevin Burr into the ropes to crotch Barksdale on the top turnbuckle. Hallowicked hits a step-up enzuigiri and brings down Barksdale with a super snapmare. He follows up with a Swanton, but Barksdale gets up his knees to block it! Barksdale whips Hallowicked to the corner. He follows in with a running knee lift and comes off the ropes with a lariat. Frightmare comes down the aisleway. Dez Peloton come out to halt him from interfering. That’s enough to distract Barksdale, who is turned around for Never Wake Up. Barksdale weaves out and takes down Hallowicked with an elevated twisting neckbreaker. Barksdale lifts him up for Obey the Law. Hallowicked flips down forward and hits Never Wake Up for the win at 6:48. I really enjoy generational wars in companies like Dragon Gate and dug the concept here too, especially because Barksdale did a terrific job keeping on top of Hallowicked. Unfortunately for Barksdale, Hallowicked was able to catch him with his be all, end all maneuver at an opportune time. Dez Peloton and Frightmare’s interjection came off very forced and unnecessary and threw off the momentum Barksdale and Hallowicked earned. Despite that, I think this showing from Barksdale will serve him very well in the future. **½

Jeremy Leary says he’s shake, rattled, and rolled CHIKARA to its core. He’s been picking off CHIKARA’s heroes one on one, and next on his list is Icarus. He says Icarus may walk and talk like an angel, but he better get wise, because Leary is the devil in disguise.

Icarus vs. Jeremy Leary

Icarus replaces the originally scheduled Mark Angelosetti, who suffered a powerlifting injury earlier in the week. A win for Leary earns him his third point. Icarus takes umbrage with Leary saying he has the best hair in wrestling. Although Leary escapes Icarus’ side headlock, Icarus mows him down with a shoulder block. Icarus messes up Leary’s hair after bringing him back down in a side headlock. He hip tosses Leary for a one count. Leary spends time combing his hair, only for Icarus to pull him by the hair back to the apron and dropkicking him into the crowd. Icarus and a member of the CHIKARMY chop Leary outside. In the ring, Icarus takes Leary down with a diving clothesline. Leary sweeps out Icarus’ legs so he can get in a series of punches. Icarus turns it around with punches of his own. He pulls on Leary’s hair while digging his knee into Leary’s back. Bryce teaches Icarus that pulling the hair is illegal, which Icarus has some fun with. Icarus drives his body weight onto Leary’s back as Leary is placed on the middle rope. Leary jabs Icarus’ leg out and drills him in the side of the face with a boot for two. Leary dives off the middle rope with an uppercut to Icarus’ shoulder blades for two. Icarus evades a corner attack and again comes off the top, this time with a double axe handle. Leary cuts Icarus off with a jawbreaker. He holds onto Icarus’ hair as he puts him onto his shoulders. Icarus slides off but gets whipped to the corner. Icarus escapes to the apron but Leary yanks him down by the hair. He gives Icarus a rope-assisted stunner for two. Leary calls for the Samoan Drop. Icarus escapes and schoolboys Leary. Leary rolls through and holds onto the middle rope for a pin, but Bryce catches him and kicks the hand away. Leary argues with Bryce, allowing Icarus time to recover and hit the Blu-Ray for the pin at 11:28. The hair bit was clever and helped the match stand out, but there wasn’t much to it besides that. I didn’t expect Leary to earn a Grand Championship opportunity, but sadly Touchdown wasn’t here to earn his own. It was cool to see Icarus get to show off his offense at least. **¼

Ashley Vox says she finally get her hands on Merlok tonight. Vox just needs to know what it takes to ultimately get her revenge on him. Obariyon says he told her already how to do so: to find the deepest, darkest place inside herself, and once she thinks she’s gone as far as she can, go further. Delmi Exo tells her that they’ve been sea stars for 21 years and they’ve done just fine without going to a deep, dark place. She leaves unhappy. Obariyon reiterates to Ashley that he told her what to do. Vox is conflicted.

Obariyon, Ashley Vox & Delmi Exo vs. Merlok, Hermit Crab & Cajun Crawdad

This is a rematch from “Bad Wolf.” Worth mentioning that later on tonight on the evening card, Hermit Crab puts his Young Lions Cup on the line against Cajun Crawdad. Crawdad digs his pincers into Vox. She fights out and sends him out with a satellite DDT. Crab stops her from going after Merlok, so she dropkicks him to the corner and follows in with a back elbow and basement dropkick. She pummels Merlok, but he quickly grabs Vox and drives her face first into the turnbuckles. She swings as Merlok holds her by the head, but Merlok knocks her down with a headbutt. After multiple failed pin attempts, Crawdad gator rolls Vox before drilling her with a standing neckbreaker. Crab misses a Naniwa elbow, allowing Vox to roll over and tag in Exo. Exo hits an enzuigiri on Crawdad. She ducks a clothesline and powerslams Crawdad as he comes off the ropes. Crab breaks her pin. Exo holds onto Crab’s arm as she yanks into a triumvirate of clotheslines and a side Russian legsweep. She strings a corner splash and bulldog together. Merlok interjects with a jab right to Exo’s throat. This allows Crab to pull off a suplex for two. Vox and Obariyon shout words of encouragement to Exo as the Seven Seas trio wear her down. Exo fights out of Crab and Crawdad’s Low Tide. She rolls to the floor, triggering a tag to Obariyon. He dropkicks Merlok off the apron. He strikes Crawdad in the face with his knee. He switches between Crab and Crawdad with clotheslines into opposite corners. He knocks Merlok off the apron when he sees him reviving. He drops Crab with a Michinoku Driver but Crawdad breaks up the cover. Obariyon powerbombs Vox onto Crab and Crawdad after making them accidentally pinch one another. Crab and Crawdad are wiped up with stereo dives. Exo goes for another but Merlok cuts her off with a back elbow. Merlok halts Obariyon ascension to the top rope. Vox has a violence party on Merlok, but Merlok takes her out with a jab. Crab and Crawdad argue outside, leaving Merlok on his own. Vox holds onto Merlok’s back after lighting him up with strikes. He whips her forward but misses a cannonball senton. Merlock uses Vox to knock Obariyon off the top rope. He then hits Vox with Emerald Flowsion for the pin at 10:53. Merlok looks powerful in defeating a trio essentially by himself with Crab and Crawdad, and we see that Exo is getting close to where she needs to be mentally in order to defeat him, but isn’t there quite yet. It was a good match to progress the story and gives the Sea Stars moments to shine. **

Vox is angry at herself. Backstage, she asks Obariyon what it’s going to take. He says he told her what it will take. Vox says “you want me to go to dark places? Then let’s go!” Obariyon gives a smile, while Exo leaves in the other direction displeased.

Missile Assault Man says he lost a lot of allies to get to the Grand Championship match; he’s not afraid to lose an enemy. He will stop at nothing to win the title.

Grand Championship
Juan Francisco de Coronado vs. Missile Assault Man

Juan Francisco de Coronado has been champion since 4.1.2017 and this is his third defense. At the end of the “Johnny Kidd Invitational”, The Whisper suggested to Juan that he could teach him a “trick” to defeat Missile Assault Man. Right after, The Whisper posted a blog offering to help Missile Assault Man win the Grand Championship and set him free. These two wrestled twice during Season 17. Missile defeated Coronado at “Happily Ever After”, and Coronado defeated Missile at “The Shape of Things to Come.” This serves as the rubber match.

Coronado tries hitting Missile with the title belt before the bell. Missile trips him and goes for the Sharpshooter, but Coronado slides outside. Missile assaults Coronado with several European uppercuts and stomps him down in the corner upon the bell ringing. He does damage to Coronado’s shoulders with uppercuts in the ropes, as well as whipping Coronado across the ring twice. The third time, Coronado bails to the apron. Missile sweeps out his legs, causing Coronado to crash to the floor. Missile follows with a suicide dive. Missile’s advantage is short lived, as Coronado powerbombs him onto the ring apron. Coronado drives Missile’s back into the apron repeatedly. He ends up chopping the ring post by accident. Missile takes back over inside the ring where he does further damage to Coronado’s left hand. Coronado turns things around by forearming Missile repeatedly in the back. Missile picks him up in a fireman’s carry. Coronado holds onto the top rope to come down and hit Missile with an enzuigiri. They trade positions until Missile gets on the Sharpshooter. Coronado gets the ropes. He comes off the middle ropes with another back attack and knocks down Missile with a clothesline. Coronado gets two with a tornado DDT after a suplex. Missile resists the Coronado Clutch. A rolling Death Valley Driver gets Missile a nearfall of his own. Missile clobbers the small of Coronado’s back and gives him the Missile Stomp, ending with stomps on the hurt hand. Coronado fails to escape Missile’s trifecta of Northern Lights suplexes, with Missile trapping Coronado’s hurt hand behind his back. Despite the damage, Coronado kicks out of Missile’s pin attempt. Coronado fights out of the Missile Launcher and prawn holds Missile into a chest stomp. Coronado locks for the Coronado Clutch. Missile rolls forward, sending Coronado to the ropes. Coronado crossbody’s Missile, sending both men tumbling to the floor. Coronado recovers first. Uncharacteristically, Coronado suicide dives onto Missile twice. The third time, Missile catches Coronado and suplexes him on the floor! This does damage to Missile as well. Both men barely make it back inside before the twenty count. They trade strikes on their knees. On their feet, Missile unloads with European uppercuts. Coronado interrupts with a boot to the stomach. He tries the Tiger Driver. Missile counters with a huracanrana for two. Coronado rakes his eyes and hits the Tiger Driver for two. Coronado grabs his title belt. Referee Bryce Remsburg tries to pull it out his hands. Missile hits Coronado with a dropkick, causing Coronado to crash into Bryce and knock him down. Missile gets on the Sharpshooter. Coronado taps out, but Bryce is still down. Missile releases to check on Bryce. Coronado tries bringing in his Ecuadorian flag but Missile halts him. Missile tries the Missile Launcher. Coronado escapes, low blows Missile, and sends him shoulder first into the ring post. Coronado German suplexes Missile, and somehow Missile kicks out! Coronado pulls Missile’s ear up to his mouth. Coronado whispers something to Missile and does a gesture with his arm. Missile goes limp and Coronado puts him in the Coronado Clutch. Missile’s arm drops three times, giving Coronado the win at 24:03.

The wrestling here was top notch, with each guy finding their focus (Coronado on Missile’s back and Missile on Coronado’s hand and neck) and Coronado trying to use shortcuts when he felt Missile was too much for him to handle. Then the finish came and diminished every bit of work put into the previous 23 or so minutes of story telling. I understand that the post-credits sequence of the JKI all but telegraphed a crummy finish, but the way it was done here felt so ham fisted and dissatisfying. If Coronado had this ace up his sleeve the entire match, why did he wait until they were 23 minutes deep into the contest? Could The Whisper not conjure up something stronger for Coronado so that he didn’t need to endure 20+ minutes of abuse, or dish out 20+ minutes of abuse, to be effective? Why is the Whisper helping Coronado anyways? Does The Whisper want to help, or harm Missile Assault Man? To be quite honest, if they wanted to tell this story on the undercard, it wouldn’t bother me so much. Having it come at the end of a great Grand Championship match feels like a slap in the face. Don’t waste your time on this one. *

Missile snaps out of his trance and attacks Coronado. He yells “no!” and “no more!” in anguish before heading to the back.


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