Happily Ever After

Happily Ever After

Philadelphia, PA – 3.5.2017 (Air Date; Film Date Unknown)

Championship Rundown
Grand Champion: Hallowicked
Campeones de Parejas: Moustache Mountain (Trent Seven & Tyler Bate)
Young Lions Cup Champion: ThunderFrog

Commentary is provided by Mike Quackenbush.

We cut to a unknown location where “Juke Joint” Lucas Calhoun is standing behind his car recounting the Infinite Gauntlet match to a friend when another call pulls up. Out steps Jeremy Leary and one of his friends. They both look at each other, then down the road, but do not say a word.

Heidi Lovelace vs. Jeremy Leary

Leary digs his forearm into Lovelace’s face. She responds with forearm strikes and kicks before coming out of the corner with an alita armdrag. She comes off the middle rope with a flying headscissors, sending Leary outside. Leary catches her on the apron. She avoids a suplex and uses a snap of his suspenders to get an O’Connor Roll. Leary cracks Lovelace with a right jab. He does some damage to side of Lovelace’s head and twists up her neck. Some posturing leads to Leary giving her a powerslam for two. He chokes Lovelace on the middle rope before slapping her across the face. Back in the ring, Lovelace goes for a Saito suplex. Leary escapes and pops her up into a falling kick to the side of the head for two. Leary whips her into the corner. He tries whipping her across the ring and ends up being sent into the turnbuckle with the Deadly Night Shade. Multiple running kicks dizzy Leary, allowing Lovelace to drop him with an STO for two. She goes for Heidi-Can-Rana. Leary sweeps out her legs and hits a basement dropkick for two. Leary tries a karate stance, basically a Lucas Calhoun impression. Lovelace knees him in the face and hits an enzuigiri before hitting Heidi-Can-Rana. Leary kicks out! Lovelace climbs the ropes. Leary strikes the ropes to cause her to fall onto the top turnbuckle. He puts Lovelace on his shoulders. Lovelace messes up his hair before bringing him down in a prawn hold. Leary cuts back and holds the tights to get the pin at 8:10. The consistency in Leary’s attack was good, but at times this felt off and uncoordinated. **

Back to the unknown location. We see Calhoun and Leary revving up their engines for a race, staring down one another in their respective drivers seats. Calhoun’s friend calls for the start, and we see the tires of Calhoun’s car begin to spin.

UltraMantis Black vs. DUSTIN

Mantis fails to knock down DUSTIN with a running shoulder block. On the third attempt, DUSTIN hits the ropes and utilizes his own shoulder block successfully. Mantis counters a hip toss with a tricep drag and then shoulder blocks DUSTIN to the floor. DUSTIN jumps up from the floor and snaps Mantis’ neck on the top rope. He bites Mantis’ antennae before giving him a gut punch. He chokes Mantis on the top rope back inside the ring. DUSTIN slams Mantis into a forearm and elbow smash. He gets two with a dropkick to Mantis’ shoulders blades. Mantis gets his feet up to avoid a corner attack. He takes down DUSTIN with running clotheslines and a belly-to-back suplex for two. DUSTIN is quick to respond with a chinbreaker and DDT. Mantis kicks out. DUSTIN misses a moonsault, but he rolls back to the corner where he catches Mantis with a Brodie Knee and superkick for two. DUSTIN tries another moonsault. This time Mantis yanks DUSTIN down and drops him with a full nelson slam. Mantis hits a Falcon Arrow for the pin at 6:04, giving Mantis his third point. This was a perfect way to have a good wrestling match while also giving us a little taste of each competitor’s personality. **¾

We see under Lucas’ car a pool of motor oil. Driving ahead, Jeremy Leary holds up something in his hand, all but confirming he was the culprit.

Race Jaxon, last seen shoving a piece of the Wrestle Factory entrance onto Hype Rockwell, is standing backstage and looking at himself in a handheld mirror. He says it’s a new start for Race Jaxon, but he is still the same young and handsome Race Jaxon we have known. His opponent, Lucas Calhoun is ugly, fat, and doesn’t win too many matches. On the other hand, Race pays attention to the macro he eats, achieving his PR in Crossfit, and is handsome.

Lucas Calhoun vs. Race Jaxon

Jaxon is wearing the N_R_G t-shirt, but it’s crossed out with black tape. Calhoun says he has a new karate move to try out. Jaxon instructs Calhoun not to touch his face, the same thing he told Rockwell before they broke up. He leaps to the corner when Calhoun is about to strike him in the face and instructs Bryce to issue Calhoun a warning. Bryce does so, but the distraction allows Jaxon to sneak in a sole butt kick. He takes down Calhoun in the corner where he digs his forearm into Calhoun’s face. Calhoun responds with his own kick to the stomach and a karate chop to the back. Jaxon ducks a corner attack and knee strikes Calhoun in the face. He rakes Calhoun’s face across the top rope and hits him up with a corner dropkick. Calhoun responds with a backbreaker. Jaxon ducks a punch and nails an enzuigiri. He hits a clothesline through the ropes. He comes off the top into a gut punch from Calhoun. Calhoun punches Jaxon in the face, but is too close to the ropes to get a cover. Calhoun grabs the ropes to avoid a dropkick and catapults Jaxon to the apron. Jaxon skins the cat into Calhoun’s waiting arms. Jaxon slides out, sends Calhoun to the corner, and hits him with discuss forearm for the pin at 4:58. As much as I endorse Jaxon’s new direction, this was not a good way to kick off the new character. Both competitors were off their game and never got it together. *

Jeremy Leary emerges from backstage wearing Calhoun’s tiger jumpsuit, cape, and sunglasses. He enjoys the way Calhoun’s threads feel on his epidermis, but now he wants the ultimate trophy: Calhoun’s hair. He challenges Calhoun to a hair vs. hair match. He tells Calhoun to think about it, and says “Leary has left the building” as he strikes a pose and walks to the back.

We then cut back to the undisclosed location where Calhoun almost hits Leary. Calhoun’s friend stops him from doing so. Calhoun hands Leary his car keys, Leary’s reward for winning the race no doubt.

Solo Darling & Travis Huckabee vs. The Proletariat Boar of Moldova {BP} & Mr. Azerbaijan {BP}

Darling drinks a lot of sugary beverage before the bell. She ducks under Azerbaijan’s clothesline attempts, but Azerbaijan slows her down by grabbing the wrist. Darling tumbles before kicking Azerbaijan in the head. Huckabee tags in but is also controlled by his wrist. Huckabee also tumbles through, taking Azerbaijan down with a wrist throw. Boar pie faces Huckabee twice. The third time, Huckabee grabs the arm and puts on a hammerlock. His slam attempt fails, and Boar drops Huckabee with his own. A leaping elbow drop gets Boar a two count. Huckabee maneuvers his way out of a side headlock from Azerbaijan and hooks him up in a crucifix pin for two. Darling and Huckabee attack Azerbaijan in the corner, with Huckabee sending him into a clothesline from Darling for two. Boar kicks Darling in the back as she hits the ropes. This allows the Bloc Party to take over and wear down Darling in their corner. Boar accidentally collides into Azerbaijan, allowing Darling to roll away and tag in Huckabee. He fights off the Bloc Party with strikes. Huckabee is able to slam Boar after ducking Boar’s boot. Boar swings Huckabee up into a Samoan Drop. Darling comes off the middle rope with a crossbody to Boar. She palm strikes Azerbaijan in the chest until he knocks her down with a shoulder block. She chops his now exposed chest, as Azerbaijan wisely decides to pull his straps back up. Darling drops him with a spring back bulldog. Boar breaks her pin attempt. Huckabee enters and is taken down with a side slam from the Boar. Huckabee evades the Gore. Darling and Huckabee take him down with a double spear. Huckabee takes him over with a bridging butterfly suplex for the pin at 7:46. This was a really fun match. Huckabee and Darling served as both the valiant underdogs and the team that’s figuring out how to work together, making them easy to cheer for against the larger, dastardly opponents. It also made it very satisfying when Travis was finally able to bodyslam and butterfly suplex the Boar. Darling and Huckabee have a lot of promise as a team, and I continue to enjoy watching Huckabee immensely. ***

Sylverhawk {XWK} & Razerhawk {X2K} vs. Rick Roland & Sloan Caprice

Roland mows down both Xyberhawx with shoulder blocks, sending them outside the ring. Sylverhawk manages to headscissors him to the floor. Caprice enters but finds himself taking an assisted Frankensteiner to the floor from Razerhawk. The Xyberhawx pose after feiging dives. The Closers try to sneak attack, but the Xyberhawx instead attack. Razerhawk is tossed out by Roland. Caprice pops Sylverhawk up, causing him to slam face and chest first into the mat. Caprice powerbombs Sylverhawk. He catches Razerhawk’s crossbody attempt, then passes him to Roland for a running powerslam. The Closers pummel Razerhawk in their corner until he evades a Vader bomb from Roland and tags in Sylverhawk. Sylverhawk dropkicks Caprice off the apron before throwing forearm strikes to Roland. Roland muscles him to the corner, but Sylverhawk evades a corner splash and hits a springboard clothesline on Roland for two. Sylverhawk comes off the top again, but this time Roland catches him mid-air with a boot. Razerhawk dropkicks both of the Closers. He gets caught with a double bucket toss, leading into a Complete Shot from Roland. The Xyberhawx are stacked up onto Caprice. Roland takes them down with the Deal Breaker for the pin at 7:53, earning The Closers their third point. This was a good power vs. speed contest, with the Closers looking dominant as they clinch a potential title opportunity. The fans were WAY into this which brought everything up a level. **¼

Juan Francisco de Coronado must go through Missile Assault Man to earn his third point. Juan knows how dangerous Missile is, but it is his destiny to be Grand Champion of CHIKARA. He will lay waste to Missile Assault Man when he locks on the Coronado Clutch.

Missile Assault Man vs. Juan Francisco de Coronado

Both men break lock-ups in the corner cleanly. Missile grabs a full nelson which Coronado quickly turns into a Coronado Clutch attempt. Missile turns around hoping for a Sharpshooter, but Coronado quickly exits the ring to avoid the hold. Coronado moves Bryce Remsburg in the way to stop Missile’s uppercut assault. He gets in a cheap shot before giving Missile a kidney shot and back cracker for two. He drives Missile back first to the corner. Missile tries to get Coronado on his shoulders, but Coronado slips off and hits the Tiger Driver for two. He also gets two with a belly-to-back suplex. Missile strings a jawbreaker and dropkick together. Coronado escapes a second dropkick attempt and chokes Missile on the mat. Missile gets in a couple more uppercuts before Coronado cuts him off with an enzuigiri. Coronado gives a pair of kidney shots. Missile side steps Coronado, uppercutting him on the shoulders before landing a suplex and rolling Death Valley Driver for two. Missile locks in the Sharpshooter. Coronado crawls under the ropes to break the hold. He snaps Missile’s back and neck across the ropes. Coronado climbs the ropes. Missile cuts him off and attempts the Missile Launcher. Coronado slips off, gives Missile a back breaker and a Tiger Driver for the closest two count so far. He puts Missile in the Coronado Clutch. Missile works his way up the turnbuckle from the mat and kicks Coronado away. Coronado charges but is met with an uppercut. Coronado blocks an uppercut, flipping Missile over into a Tiger Driver. Missile counters in mid-air with a huracanrana, pinning Coronado at 7:37. Missile looked strong in fighting through all the pain Coronado inflicted on his back and neck. It’s very clear he is somebody CHIKARA is interested in portraying as a top Tecnico, but I don’t know if he’s ready for that position just yet. Coronado continues to impress and seems poised to excel. **¾

Princess KimberLee is backstage, bathed in blue light with The Whisper behind her. KimberLee says “I thought this was over.” She relents and asks The Whisper what he wants her to do now. Of course, he whispers his response.

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