When Nature Calls


Toronto, ONT- 7.23.2016

Championship Rundown
Grand Champion: Hallowicked
Campeones de Parejas: N_R_G (Race Jaxon & Hype Rockwell)
Young Lions Cup Champion: The Estonian Thunderfrog

Commentary is provided by Mike Quackenbush and Scott Holiday.

Kobald {B} vs. Evil Uno {SSB}

Uno baits Kobald into throwing a clothesline. It backfires, as Uno ducks and takes Kobald over with a backdrop and two fireman’s carry’s. Kobald tries one of his own, but Uno bites his hand and delivers a third fireman’s carry. Kobald does some damage to Uno’s stomach but can barely budge him with a running shoulder block. Kobald slaps Uno in the face. Uno’s own shoulder block is successful. He punches Kobald before sending him outside with a clothesline. Uno gets in some chops, but ends up hitting his hand on a ring post. Kobald shoves Uno into the post. Uno finds himself in a chair, and Kobald follows in with a running seated senton. Kobald gets in some shots back in the ring. Uno bites Kobald, causing Kobald to dig his fingers into Uno’s eyes. He snapmares Uno into a trifecta of running elbow drops for two. He taunts the crowd, allowing Uno to schoolboy him for one. Uno’s stomach makes it difficult for him to lift Kobald. Kobald kicks him in the stomach and double stomps his ribs. A standing seated splash to the chest yields another two count. Uno chops Kobald from the canvas. Kobald stomps on his hand and slaps him in the face again. Uno blocks a kick and uses the referee for an assisted neckbreaker. He splashes Kobald in opposite corners. He flips Kobald out of a belly-to-back suplex. Kobald rolls to the floor. Kobald evades a dive and drives his shoulder into Uno’s ribs. Uno catches a crossbody and gives Kobald a waterwheel slam on the apron! In the ring, Kobald avoids a double stomp. He spears Uno and goes up top. Uno cuts Kobald off with a punch. Kobald is able to send Uno back down to the mat and hit the Demon’s Toilet for the pin at 11:06. This was effective in establishing Kobald’s aggressive nature. His offense look refined, clean, and effective. I really liked how both Uno’s accidental chop into the ring post and the wearing down of his ribs by Kobald played into the finish. This actually may have been the most built-up the Demon’s Toilet has ever been. Uno looked great in the match too, and even if this match doesn’t yield a full CHIKARA return, it was a fun one-off.

Vlad Radinov introduces The Big Deal, the former Hornswoggle who for weeks has been hyped up on CHIKARA’s social media. He is flanked by two men who serve as his security guards: Rick Roland (Rex Lawless) and Sloan Caprice (Mike Verna). The following trios match is their debut as a triumvirate and Roland and the Big Deal’s CHIKARA debut.

The Big Deal, Sloan Caprice & Rick Roland vs. Geddy Young, Justin Jepsen & Turner Bachman

Roland knocks the two non-legal men off the apron. The legal man gets his face rammed into the top turnbuckle repeatedly before being dropped in a full nelson slam. Roland Irish whips Caprice into the legal men for a forearm smash. Caprice then sends him into a boot from Roland. The two other men jump in the ring. Caprice holds them both. Roland gives one a rolling clothesline. He falls to the mat, and Caprice slams the other man onto him. They drag the legal man over to their corner. The Big Deal polishes him off with a Tadpole Splash for the pin at 2:01. This was designed to make Roland and Caprice look dominant and portray that they do the Big Deal’s bidding. Mission accomplished. ½*

The Big Deal gets on the microphone. Tonight he gets to knock CHIKARA off his bucket list. He has many names, but they know him as the Big Deal.

Officer Warren Barksdale is tired of Oleg the Usurper murdering, jay walking, and evading taxes. He’s going to “book” Oleg tonight.

Officer Warren Barksdale vs. Oleg the Usurper

Barksdale pats down Oleg in the corner. Oleg shoves him away, but Barksdale is able to pat him down mid-ring as he tries for a waistlock. Oleg bumps his away with his buttocks. Barksdale blocks a boot. He checks Oleg’s boot, but ends up getting booted by that foot anyhow. He drives his shoulder into Barksdale’s mid-section multiple times in the corner. The referee has Oleg break on his count. Barksdale blows his whistle, and the distraction allows him to roll-up Oleg for two. Oleg goes for a chokeslam, but instead rips the whistle off of Barksdale’s neck. He puts it in his mouth, so Barksdale kicks him in the stomach, causing Oleg to spit it out. While Barksdale puts the whistle back on, Oleg splashes him against the ropes. Oleg picks up more speed on the ropes, resulting in Barksdale issuing him a speeding ticket. Oleg rips up the ticket and shoves it in his mouth. Angry, Barksdale pulls out his handcuffs. Oleg Usurper kicks Barksdale and hits Off With His Head for the pin at 5:33. That was fun, albeit a little short. I can’t help but feel as if this was a step back for Barksdale after how well he did on the UK tour. Oleg should’ve won, but I was hoping we would have a more competitive affair after the comedy was done. Instead, it was all comedy. Maybe next time. *½

Princess Kimberlee, Heidi Lovelace, and Team Sea Stars are backstage. Heidi says that their opponents tonight were once their partners and friends, but they are no longer the same people. Kimberlee cuts her off to say that although the faces they see across the ring have stayed the same, the people themselves have changed. They will bring the fight to their former friends. Kimberlee says Team Sea Stars being new is a plus, as their opponents don’t know what they bring to the match. She claims that the four of them will take care of business.

Princess Kimberlee, Heidi Lovelace, Ashley Vox & Delmi Exo vs. Icarus, Mark Angelosetti, Obariyon {B} & Kodama {B}

Angelosetti was “hexed” by UltraMantis Black in a post-credits scene from “Tightrope.” Despite getting her hair pulled, Kimberlee takes the opening exchange with Angelosetti by throwing multiple kicks to his head. Yet, he remains standing. She throws forearms against the ropes and knocks him down with a bicycle kick for two. Angelosetti drives Kimberlee into the corner with multiple shoulder blocks. A delay allows her to get in more forearms, but her running crossbody doesn’t budge Mr. Touchdown. He knocks all of Kimberlee’s partners off the apron before giving her a suplex. Vox dropkicks Angelosetti to stop his military press on Kimberlee. Obariyon comes in. Vox takes him to the corner with a headscissors. She scores a nearfall with a sunset flip, and again with a neckbreaker. Vox drop toe holds Obariyon into some kicks from Exo. Obariyon slides out after a leapfrog from Exo. Kodama jumps in from behind to attack and bites Exo on the forehead! Exo comes back with a superkick for two. She goes to the second rope, only for Kodama to pull her down by her leg and cause her to crash down into the mat. Icarus gives Exo a running knee drop to the chest. After some more shots on the mat, he throws Exo hair first back down to the canvas. Exo sneaks in a Russian leg sweep. Lovelace comes in, and tries talking to Icarus, her former partner and friend. It’s of no use, as Icarus tosses her down in the corners repeatedly. A slap to the face sets Lovelace straight, and she unloads with forearms to Icarus’ chest. The Nightmare Warriors get stacked up in the corner while their opponents keep splashing them. The Warriors clear the ring, leaving Exo as the unfortunate person to find herself trapped in the corner of the heXed men. Exo expertly evaded Angelosetti’s offense, and after a failed Flea Flicker, dropkicked him to the corner. Lovelace and Icarus tag in, where Icarus instantly mows her down with a clothesline. Lovelace finds herself at the mercy of the Warriors, as they take turns beating her down. Icarus tries talking Lovelace out of an attack, but she knees him in the face and delivers an enzuigiri. Kimberlee German suplexes Icarus. A Jon Woo dropkick and double knees to chest almost get three, but the Batiri break the cover. She fights them both off before taking a Manhattan drop/knee strike combo. Exo breaks the pin. Team Sea Stars give Obariyon a Heart Attack. Angelosetti and Icarus ram them together before delivering tandem fallaway slams. Icarus dropkicks Exo before feeding her into a spinebuster from Angelosetti. Lovelace breaks the pin just in time. She uses the ropes for a DDT on Obariyon. She tries the Heidi-Can-Rana but accidentally runs into Kimberlee! Lovelace goes back and eats the Skull Bronzing from the Batiri. Team Sea Stars clear the ring and with Kimberlee look to dive. Kobald jumps on the apron, but gets knocked down. Vox and Kimberlee get dragged to the floor. Angelosetti spins out Exo into a Colossal Bomb for the pin at 16:56. The slow burn of Lovelace and Kimberlee imploding is good. It’s subtle, but noticeable, and they’re figuring out new ways each month to tease the inevitable. Team Sea Stars had their moments to shine. Like Kobald, it was important for Angelosetti to establish his new, aggressive side, and he did so effectively, with a cool, powerful looking finisher. The interference was totally unnecessary and knocked the match down a peg, but this was a pretty fun Atomicos. Probably not the best this year, but good. **¾

Kimberlee holds the ropes for Lovelace, but Lovelace chooses to leave through a different side of the ring instead.

Moustache Mountain compliment one another’s facial hair. Trent Seven say they have a huge match before them tonight. They remind us that they made it to the semi-finals in last year’s King of Trios. Now, they’re looking for gold, and tonight they have the chance to earn all three points in one match. Seven says they will rise to the top.

Elimination Match
Scott “Jagged” Parker {3.0} & Shane Matthews {3.0} vs. Amasis {OP} & Ophidian {OP} vs. Tyler Bate & Trent Seven vs. Hermit Crab & Rock Lobster

Crab forearms Ophidian after a lock-up. They shove each other with intensity, until Lobster and Matthews tag in. Lobster drags Matthews out of a lock-up twice. Matthews responds with armdrags and a dropkick. He takes Crab to the corner. He drop toe holds Crab into an elbow drop from Jagged. Jagged shoots Amasis to the ropes, but Lobster trips Amasis as he rebounds off the ropes. Amasis sends Lobster out and Pele kicks Crab. Amasis tornado DDT’s Lobster on the floor. Seven blocks Crab’s nerve pinch with a bodyslam. He slams both members of 3.0, then both members of the Portal on top of them. Seven and Bate then slam each other onto the pile. They look to slam an excited Bryce Remsburg onto the pile but the Crustaceans stop them and poke Moustache Mountain in the eyes. Ophidian runs in but is cut off with an elbow from the crab. Lobster quesadora’s Crab up into an elbow drop on Ophidian. Amasis tries to fight them off, but Lobster rolls him into a cutter on the middle rope. Crab hits a Naniwa elbow drop but Ophidian breaks the pin and gives Lobster a lungblower. Ophidian and Crab get in a scuffle on the mat. Ophidian hooks Crab’s arms and hooks him in a bridging backslide to pin and eliminate the Crustaceans at 7:43. This gives the Portal their third point. As Lobster argues with Bryce, Crab low blows Ophidian! Amasis checks on his partner. 3.0 send him out and jump on Ophidian, knocking Moustache Mountain off the apron in the process. Ophidian is bullied by 3.0, reminiscent of their Rudo yesteryears. A momentary distraction from Moustache Mountain gives Ophidian time to recover. He slips off Jagged’s shoulders and tags in Bate, who mows down 3.0 with running back elbows. He gives Jagged a double underhook backbreaker. Matthews accidentally elbows Jagged in the corner. Seven gives Matthews a running overhand chop. He drops Jagged with a Dragon suplex and piledriver for the pin at 11:51. The Portal get Bate to the floor before hitting Seven with a superkick/enzuigiri combo. Another double team combo leads to a nearfall, as Bate breaks it up. Bate tries a double team move, but Ophidian back slides Bate into a bridge for two. Ophidian clotheslines Bate to the floor. Amasis cracks Seven with the 540 kick. Ophidian follows up with Meteora. He misses a pescado onto Bate as Amasis comes off the top with a grazing double stomp to Seven. Bate jumps in to stop Amasis’ pinfall. Ophidian gives Bate a backbreaker. The Portal bring Seven off the top with the Pyramid Plex. Ophidian tope con hilo’s onto Bate. Amasis pins Seven for two. The Portal set up Seven for a tandem Egyptian Destroyer. Bate stops them, and Giant Swings Amasis while giving Ophidian an Airplane Spin. Bate stands on Seven’s back, looking for a chokeslam to Ophidian. Amasis jumps in, catching Ophidian on his shoulders. Mountain double chop Ophidian, resulting in Ophidian giving Amasis a reverse spike Frankensteiner! Seven piledrives Ophidian, rolling him into a Falcon Arrow from Bate for the pin at 17:03. I liked a lot in this match. Moustache Mountain looked terrific, defeating two sets of former Campeones de Parejas before facing the current champions later tonight. 3.0 revisited their Rudo roots, which could color their future, or serve as a one-off, as somebody had to play that role once the Crustaceans were eliminated. Either way, I liked it. Speaking of the Crustaceans, I really like the feud they’re building with Crab and Ophidian. Despite Lobster being the better of the two, Crab will only get better with experience, and Ophidian is the right guy to pair him against. All four teams served a purpose and played their roles very well. Good stuff. ***¼

Dasher Hatfield {T} vs. Drew Gulak

The winner of this match will have three points and a shot at the Grand Championship. Both men break cleanly when they’re taken to a corner or use the ropes to escape a hold. Hatfield reverses a headlock from Gulak into a courting hold. Gulak turns it into a crucifix but Hatfield is too close to the ropes for a pin to be started. Out of a double knuckle lock, Hatfield tosses Gulak to the mat while holding onto his arm. Gulak kicks him away. Gulak applies a leglock and drops his elbow across Hatfield’s back. Hatfield gets in an armdrag and knuckle drag. Gulak goes low to counter another armdrag with one of his own. Hatfield grabs a chinlock and shoulder blocks Gulak when Gulak escapes. Gulak is able to dropkick Hatfield to the floor. Gulak has Hatfield come back in the ring instead of going for a dive. A wristlock exchange sees Hatfield score a two count with a Magistral cradle. Gulak counters Hatfield’s courting hold with a Frankensteiner, sending Hatfield back out. Gulak brings Hatfield down in a headlock. Hatfield counters into a headscissors. After a long headstand, Gulak rolls forward back into the chinlock. Hatfield rolls Gulak to the floor and follows with a suicide dive. Hatfield slams Gulak on the floor, but Gulak pops back up and hits a clothesline. They trade hard blows and chops to the chest, side, and stomach, ending with a suplex from Hatfield to Gulak. Both men make it back in the ring just in time to avoid a double count out. Hatfield hangs Gulak in a tree of woe and hits a baseball slide dropkick for two. Gulak is able to reverse an Irish whip to the corner, following in with a clothesline. He hits a lariat to the back of Hatfield’s head. Gulak comes off the top with a flying clothesline for two. Hatfield drives Gulak to the corner and places him on the top turnbuckle. Hatfield brings him down with a super butterfly suplex. When Hatfield rolls over for a pin, Gulak instead grabs a small package for two. Gulak goes for the CHIKARA Special. Before it is fully applied, Hatfield schoolboys Gulak for two. Hatfield muscles Gulak up into the cyclone neckbreaker. Gulak grabs the bottom rope to prevent a pin. Gulak resists the Jackhammer, sending Hatfield to the corner. Hatfield has the rear clothesline scouted the second time, and swings Gulak into the Jackhammer for two. He hits it a second time for a very close nearfall. He goes for a third, only for Gulak to snap suplex Hatfield into the corner. Gulak pummels Hatfield with open handed strikes. He leaps into the Gu-Lock and Hatfield taps out at 19:48! As expected, this was an excellent technical building to the Gu-Lock would have resulted in a stronger reaction from the crowd, despite him putting in a lot of work to the neck before getting it locked on. Hatfield deserves all the opportunities to shine in the main event and made the most of it here. It’s smart to capitalize on Gulak’s CWC spotlight, and him vs. Hallowicked has a lot of potential. ***½


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: