Back in the Habit


Toronto, ONT- 7.23.2016

Championship Rundown
Grand Champion: Hallowicked
Campeones de Parejas: N_R_G (Race Jaxon & Hype Rockwell)
Young Lions Cup Champion: The Estonian Thunderfrog

Commentary is provided by Mike Quackenbush and Scott Holiday

Missile Assault Man vs. Stephon Smith

Smith is replacing Pinkie Sanchez. He is a regular in OVW and goes by the nickname “Rump Thump.” Smith uses his posterior to escape a waistlock. Missile pulls Smith into an uppercut. Smith shoulder blocks Missile after Missile escapes his headlock. Missile trips Smith from the floor. He tries a knee strike but Smith gets to his feet to avoid it. Smith ducks a clothesline and backslides Missile for two. Missile stomps on Smith’s foot to break a double knuckle lock. He gets in some hard strikes in the corner. Smith snaps off a pair of armdrags before dropkicking Missile to the floor. Missile however trips him and gets in the knee strike from outside. He sends Smith face first into three of the four top turnbuckles. Smith responds in kind, but Missile cuts him off on the third turnbuckle and gives Smith the Missile Stomp. Missile blocks a boot and drives Smith face first into the mat. Missile grabs the ropes to avoid a dropkick and stomps Smith’s chest for two. A diving uppercut gets Missile a two count. Smith gets Missile in the corner with his posterior, but a running uppercut to the opposite corner stops that. He misses another uppercut. Smith misses a crossbody. Missile double stomps his chest for another two count. Smith gets in a shoulder tackle and a corner hip attack. A Sick Kick and running basement hip attack get a two count. He misses a running hip attack. Missile comes off the second rope with a rolling uppercut. The Missile Launcher gets him the pin at 9:13. There was obviously supposed to be some story element to this match with Sanchez that they couldn’t execute without him being present. While I appreciate a nice showcase match here and there, this was fairly dull and repetitive. No offense to Smith, but I think Missile crushing him in mere minutes would have been the best use of this contest. *

“Juke Joint” Lucas Calhoun has chills in excitement for his match with Soldier Ant. He hopes Soldier Ant brings his A game, because he don’t swerve, baby.

Soldier Ant {C} vs. Lucas Calhoun

Soldier Ant rolls Calhoun away to escape a cravate. They switch control of a wristlock and hammerlock, reaching a stalemate. Soldier Ant brings Calhoun down in an armdrag, forcing Calhoun to salute while holding onto his wrist. Calhoun avoids a pin and gets back to his feet. He brings Soldier Ant to the corner in a lock-up. Soldier Ant crawls between his legs and military crawls in the ropes back over to Calhoun, taunting him with a salute. Calhoun grabs Soldier Ant’s left leg and twists on his toe and ankle. Soldier Ant bridges up on his head and spins his way free. Calhoun gets fed up with Soldier Ant’s saluting, constantly pulling his arms down. Soldier Ant eventually boots him in the stomach. Calhoun blocks Soldier Ant’s chop and throws a series of his own karate chops and kicks. He strings a jumping knee strike and rolling clothesline together for two. Calhoun grabs a modified top courting hold. Soldier Ant shoves Calhoun away and lands a discuss forearm strike for two. Calhoun sends Soldier Ant out with a crane kick. Calhoun goes for a dive but Soldier Ant gets back in the ring. Calhoun stops his own momentum but falls to a running crossbody and a belly-to-back suplex for two. He gives Calhoun the Trench Slam for the pin at 8:44. It seems as if they’re trying to establish Calhoun as a single competitor, which I think they did well with the UK tour. One thing I don’t understand is that his promos read like a babyface, the fans treat him like one, but yet he’s programmed as the Rudo in so many of the singles matches he has. His role needs to be firmed up before he can start having notable singles matches. There was also an opportunity to do more in establishing whatever his character is supposed to be here with Soldier Ant leaning into his military shtick that wasn’t explored. Point being, this was alright, but ultimately there were so many unexplored opportunities. *½

Race Jaxon {NRG} & Hype Rockwell {NRG} vs. Trent Seven & Tyler Bate

Jaxon and Bate take each other to the mat while holding onto the collar-and-elbow tie-up. Jaxon ends a wristlock exchange with a forearm strike. Bate baits Jaxon into a kneelift to the jaw. Rockwell and Seven tag in. Seven’s shoulder blocks have no effect on Rockwell. Rockwell even accelerates him to the ropes and it adds no advantage. One running shoulder block from Seven knocks him down. Jaxon comes in and is slammed right away. Seven slams Rockwell on top of him, then Bate onto both members of N_R_G, and then Bate slams Seven onto them. Seven attempts a low suicide dive. Rockwell cuts him off with a haymaker and gives him a backbreaker on the apron. Rockwell throws some jabs. Seven chips him against the ring post. He misses a chop, hitting the post. N_R_G splash Seven in one corner, then another. Seven slips to the floor, bringing in Bate, who forces Rockwell to assist with a neckbreaker on Jaxon. Jaxon avoids a corner attack and lands a high crossbody. Rockwell Finlay Rolls Bate into a top rope elbow from Jaxon for two. Jaxon hits a clothesline through the ropes on Seven. Rockwell tries a powerslam but Seven shoves Rockwell to the floor. This time Seven’s suicide dive is a success. Jaxon hits his own suicide dive. Bate dives over the top onto everyone. Bate fights off both members of N_R_G back in the ring. Rockwell turns him inside out with a clothesline. Seven pulls Rockwell into a lariat. Jaxon headbutts away Seven’s lariat attempt and knocks him down with a superkick. Both teams engage in a slugfest. They take turns throwing uppercuts and forearm strikes in a square. Seven backslides Rockwell for two. Jaxon prawn holds Bate for two. He superkicks Seven. Rockwell tries the Hyperwheel. Seven escapes. Jaxon goes to superkick Seven but hits Rockwell instead! Bate kicks Jaxon to the floor while Seven gives Rockwell a Dragon suplex. Seven then gives him a piledriver for two. Seven German suplexes Rockwell into a delayed German suplex from Bate. Jaxon jumps in to break the bridge and pin. Jaxon is left alone with Moustache Mountain. He takes them down with a double dropkick but eats a double lariat and double brainbuster. Jaxon kicks out of Seven’s pin attempt. After some more strikes, Seven gives Jaxon a piledriver. Bate polishes him off with a Falcon Arrow in 13:54, giving Moustache Mountain their third point. This was a sporting tag team match, with no wasted time, not even a heat segment. Both teams worked hard, looked great, and it felt like Moustache Mountain earned a big victory, not just because they defeated the champs, but because they had to fight very hard to do so. On this day, CHIKARA made Moustache Mountain a force to be reckoned with, and N_R_G had a very strong showing. ***½

As Moustache Mountain celebrate, Los Ice Creams run out! They cash in their Golden Opportunity and the Campeones de Parejas are now on the line!

Campeonatos de Parejas
Race Jaxon {NRG} & Hype Rockwell {NRG} vs. El Hijo del Ice Cream {IC} & Ice Cream Jr. {IC}

N_R_G have been champions since 9.27.2015 and this is their fourth defense. Los Ice Creams jump onto Jaxon and pin him in 0:05! Los Ice Creams are declared the winners and the NEW Campeones de Parejas! Mike Quackenbush seems to question this on commentary. As it turns out, he would render the titles vacant, as Campeones de Parejas are two out of three falls, and the junior referee forgot to trigger the second fall and instead ended the contest.

Moustache Mountain are backstage celebrating their victory and holding their three points, which they earned by defeating three sets of Campeones de Parejas in one day. Trent Seven doesn’t want to wait to cash them in, because the titles will look quite fetching on their waists, shoulders, and on top of Moustache Mountain.

Worker Ant says that Director of Fun Mike Quackenbush gave himself and Silver Ant the opportunity to step into the ring with the newly hexed Batiri tonight. Silver Ant says he knows what the influence of Nazmaldun can do to somebody, as he’s been in that mindset before. It brings out all the hatred and evil a person possesses within them. He and Worker Ant will have to put aside whatever differences the Colony has going on to defeat them. Worker Ant says they won’t leave the ring until the job is done.

Silver Ant {C} & Worker Ant {C} vs. Obariyon {B} & Kodama {B}

The Batiri attack The Colony from behind before the bell. The Colony low bridge the top rope, sending the Batir to the floor. Worker Ant dives over the top onto both of them. In the ring Silver Ant Magistral cradles Obariyon for a two count. Obariyon shoves Silver Ant to the corner to break a wristlock and kicks Silver Ant in the corner. Silver Ant goes up and over Obariyon in the corner, then slams Obariyon into a legdrop for two. Obariyon takes some double team offense. Kodama grabs Worker Ant’s foot from the floor, allowing Obariyon to dropkick his leg out. As Obariyon stomps on Worker Ant’s knee, Kodama drives Silver Ant face first into the ring post. The Batiri continue work over Worker Ant’s knee as Silver Ant recovers. Worker Ant catches a break when Obariyon accidentally dropkicks Kodama. Worker Ant drops Obariyon with a back suplex into a uranage and finally crawls to his corner to tag in Silver Ant. Silver Ant bicycle kicks Obariyon and knocks down Kodama with a running crossbody. He turns Obariyon inside out with a lariat. Kodama throws a flurry of punches. Worker Ant blind tags in and assists Silver Ant with a double boot. Silver Ant checks on Worker Ant. Meanwhile, Kobald comes out, just like he did in the afternoon. This time Amasis yanks him off the apron and superkicks him away! Silver Ant doesn’t seem to understand. Obariyon tries to attack Worker Ant from behind, but Worker Ant has him scouted and O’Connor Rolls Obariyon for the pin at 10:03. After the bell, the Batiri take down Worker Ant with Skull Bronzing. Silver Ant is too distracted by what’s going with Amasis and Kobald to notice at first, but returns to the ring to chase Obariyon and Kodama off when he’s finished with that. This accomplished what it needed to: building more tension between Worker Ant and his other Colony members while also bringing Amasis into the mix for next month’s big main event match. The match itself was OK. The Batiri are awesome at working a limb and keeping an opponent isolated, but when all that work goes nowhere, it adds up to time wasted. **

Juan Francisco de Coronado comes to the ring with his Bloc Party partners, The Proletariat Boar of Moldova and Prakash Sabar. Coronado was set to face The Big Deal in a singles match tonight. However, Coronado was not impressed with what he saw out of the Big Deal. He wants to challenge the Big Deal and his security team to a trios match. The Big Deal accepts.

The Big Deal, Sloan Caprice & Rick Roland vs. Juan Francisco de Coronado, The Proletariat Boar of Moldova {BP} & Prakash Sabar {BP}

Deal’s chops don’t do any damage to Boar’s mid-section, so he steps on Boar’s foot and kicks him in the face. Sabar is tripped upon entering the ring. Deal then gives him a delayed slam and whips him across the ring by his tongue. Coronado pokes Deal in the chest, asserting himself as the big deal. Deal unloads with slaps and chops. He rams his body into Coronado in the corner. Roland tags in. Boar can’t budge him with running shoulder blocks. Roland gives him a sidewalk slam. Roland tosses Sabar and Coronado to the floor where Boar has exited. Caprice back splashes onto all of them and Roland follows with a tope con hilo. Coronado slithers out of the way and sneaks back into the ring where he cracks Deal with an enzuigiri. The United Nations bully the diminutive brawler in their half of the ring until he catches Sabar with a powerbomb. Caprice spins out Sabar in a full-nelson slam. He slingshots Sabar on the top rope on all four sides of the ring before suplexing Sabar. Caprice slingshots Coronado into the ring. Coronado pulls Caprice by his trunks into a clothesline from the apron from the Boar. The United Nations now go to work on Caprice, making frequent tags while maintaining relentless offense. Although Caprice flubs what I presume was an electric chair slam, he still takes down Sabar and tags in Roland. He takes Boar over with a Frankensteiner. Coronado tries a high crossbody. Roland catches him. He catches Sabar’s crossbody attempt and gives Sabar a fallaway slam while giving Coronado a Samoan Drop. He trades shots between Coronado and Sabar until Boar gives him a big boot. Caprice sends Boar to the floor.. A Hart Attack/powerslam combo from Caprice and Roland leads to the Tadpole Splash on Deal onto Sabar for the pin at 11:56. This was a good night for getting Team Big Deal over. If Roland and Caprice can make their offense more crisp and powerful, the act could be something fun and unique. There on a good start, but need to tighten things up if they want to be scene as a force to be reckoned with. **½

Coronado places the blame on Sabar and Boar for the loss. He berates them in front of the crowd before demanding they go to the back.

Hallowicked says the difference between this Grand Championship reign and his previous reign is that he now has his army, the living embodiment of Nazmaldun, to support him. Nobody, not even Princess KimberLee, will ever end his reign.

Grand Championship
Hallowicked vs. Fire Ant {C}

Hallowicked has been champion since 5.30.2016 and this is his first defense. Hallowicked tries to assert his dominance by powering Fire Ant to the corner, but Fire Ant shows he can be just as powerful by taking Hallowicked to another corner. They wrestle for control on the mat. Fire Ant takes control with a leglock, driving his elbow into Hallowicked’s lower back as well. Hallowicked drags Fire Ant away with a double wrist clutch. He grabs a cravate which Fire Ant turns into a standing octopus, then a satellite headscissors. He rolls up onto Hallowicked’s shoulders. Hallowicked Hot Shots Fire Ant onto the top rope and begins to attack Fire Ant’s left arm, driving his knee and elbow into it, as well as slamming it against the ring apron and wrapping it around a ring post. Fire Ant tries fighting back, but Hallowicked remains dominant as he continues to focus his attack on the left arm. Fire Ant gets in some right armed forearm strikes and palm thrusts to the chest. Hallowicked tries a Rydeen Bomb, which Fire Ant counters by sending Hallowicked out with a Frankensteiner. He then follows Hallowicked to the floor with a slingshot Frankensteiner! A third swinging Frankensteiner and tornado headscissors earn Fire Ant a three count back in the ring. Hallowicked catches Fire Ant’s crossbody attempt and gives him a shoulder breaker. He puts on a Fujiwara armbar. Fire Ant is able to crawl to the bottom rope. He looks for Never Wake Up. Fire Ant fights it off, but takes the Rydeen Bomb for two. Fire Ant again escapes Never Wake Up, but can’t lift Hallowicked up for a brainbuster. Hallowicked cracks him with a step-up enzuigiri and gives him the super snapmare. Hallowicked misses a Swanton Bomb. Fire Ant takes that opportunity to hit the Yahtzee Kick. He hits the Beach Break for two, as Hallowicked gets his foot on the bottom rope. On the apron, Hallowicked tries for some key offense, only for Fire Ant to pull him into a Beach Break on the apron! Between taking time to get Hallowicked back in the ring and his own exhaustion, it takes Fire Ant some time to get back in the ring. When he does, Hallowicked immediately locks him back in the Fujiwara armbar! Although Fire Ant is able to escape, Hallowicked puts on a cross armbreaker right after. Fire Ant converts into a prawn hold for two. Hallowicked relentlessly drives Fire Ant’s arm repeatedly into the mat with his knee and elbows. He introduces a chair into the ring, looking to Pillmanize the arm! Referee Bryce Remsburg admonishes Hallowicked long enough for Fire Ant to get up, crotch Hallowicked on the top rope, and remove the chair from his arm. Fire Ant tries a super Frankensteiner. Hallowicked counters mid-air with a super Rydeen Bomb for two! Fire Ant gives Hallowicked a pair of flying forearm strikes. The Yahtzee Kick connects twice. He tries the Beach Break. Hallowicked counters with a sunset flip. Fire Ant tries countering that with a jackknife pin, but Hallowicked cuts back and holds Fire Ant down for a three count at 20:42. Hallowicked and Fire Ant are maybe two of the most underrated performers in wrestling, and this great wrestling match showed exactly why. Hallowicked worked over Fire Ant’s arm like no one’s business, Fire Ant sold like a madman, made those moments where he could power up Hallowicked seem like a major feat and played the crowd’s emotions the whole way through. Fire Ant’s arm being too weak to fully get a jackknife pin is a very clever finish too, even if one could argue that it didn’t make for the most impactful finish. These two work really well together and proved why they belong on the top of the CHIKARA food chain. ****

After the bell, Hallowicked cracks Fire Ant with a yakuza kick. He goes for Never Wake up but Silver Ant chases him away.

Encore Match
Princess Kimberlee vs. Shayne Hawke

Hawke says Kimberlee isn’t competition for him. He tells her to stop playing Princess and to grow up. Kimberlee shoves him down. Hawke claims she cheated, but Bryce Remsburg isn’t buying it. Kimberlee avoids a running axe handle and has a violence party on Hawke in the corner. She knocks him down with a clothesline and then a bicycle kick. Hawke pulls Kimberlee by the leg, sending her face first into the middle turnbuckle. He does it again after a clothesline. He takes her down with a lariat for two. Kimberlee catches him with an atomic drop. After some running forearms, she powerbombs Hawke into the Alligator Clutch for the pin at 3:44. Hawke using the old “women aren’t as good as men” shtick is so irrelevant in CHIKARA I was embarrassed to see it even be used. That said, the wrestling was fine and Kim won, so there’s at least that. *


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