Tightrope

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Philadelphia, PA – 6.11.2016

Championship Rundown
Grand Champion: Hallowicked
Campeones de Parejas: N_R_G (Race Jaxon & Hype Rockwell)
Young Lions Cup Champion: The Estonian Thunderfrog

Commentary is provided by Dasher Hatfield, Mike Quackenbush, and Leonard F. Chikarason.

Princess Kimberlee tells Heidi Lovelace that the two of them have already accomplished so much in CHIKARA. When Kimberlee reminds us that she was a former Grand Champion, you can see the bitterness in Lovelace’s face. They have a chance to make history again by earning enough points to become the first ever female Campeones de Parejas. They shake hands and agree to make history again, together.

Elimination Match
Amasis {OP} & Ophidian {OP} vs. Princess Kimberlee & Heidi Lovelace vs. Pinkie Sanchez & Arctic Rescue Ant vs. The Proletariat Boar of Moldova {BP} & Prakash Sabar {BP}

Pinkie Sanchez decided to leave the BDK after being oppressed by Jakob for too long, deciding to hedge his bets partnering with guys he had chemistry with in the Infinite Gauntlet, hence him teaming with Arctic Rescue Ant tonight. Sabar and Ophidian start. Sabar gets in some chest kicks then calls for a dance off. Ophidian obliges, and after a pretty lengthy battle he “serves” Ophidian with the Bernie. Sabar kicks him to properly end the battle. Amasis blind tags in and hits a slingshot shoulder tackle. The Portal send Boar out with a double bicycle kick. Lovelace and Amasis engage in a Lucha exchange. Things are even until Ophidian shoulder blocks Lovelace in the mid-section from the apron. The Portal rock her with a superkick/enzuigiri combo. Sanchez and Arctic knock down the Portal with a pair of back elbows and dropkicks. Sanchez assists Arctic with a tope con hilo onto the Portal outside. Jakob Hammermeier comes out on the apron to admonish Sanchez. Sanchez tells him to get out. Boar and Sabar attack him and Arctic from behind. The Bloc Party dispose of them, brining in Lovelace and Kimberlee. They assault the Boar with kicks. Kimberlee spin kicks Sabar into a Saito suplex from Lovelace. Sabar trips Kimberlee to the floor as Lovelace tries to drive Boar face first into the turnbuckle. Boar gives her a hard kick to the stomach and Sabar hits the Busted Bronco for two. Lovelace finds herself isolated in the Bloc Party corner until she cuts off Sabar’s second Busted Bronco with a clothesline. Kimberlee tags in and takes out the Bloc Party with clotheslines and then the two other teams with German suplexes. Kimberlee and Lovelace go fo for their spin kick/suplex combo again, but Kimberlee accidentally hits Lovelace with the kick! Boar spears Kimberlee and Sabar hits the X-Factor on Lovelace for the pin and elimination at 12:05. When Kimberlee helps Lovelace up, she instinctively raises her forearm for a strike, but stops short and heads to the back with Kimberlee. Ophidian attacks the Bloc Party with forearms and bicycle kicks in opposite corners. He drives his knees into Sabar’s chest. He tries with the Boar but Ophidian catches him. The Bloc Party drop Sabar with a side slam/inverted DDT combo. Ophidian rolls out. Arctic misses a high crossbody. Sabar back rakes Arctic into a spinebuster from Boar. Sanchez breaks the pin. Sabar sends Sanchez shoulder first into the ring post. Arctic dropkicks Boar off the apron after Boar knees him. Arctic ducks a clothesline from Sabar and holds on. Sanchez top rope double stomps Sabar into a neckbreaker from Arctic, eliminating the Bloc Party at 14:44. Amasis throws punches at both men until Arctic cuts him off with a facebuster. Ophidian bicycle kicks Sanchez twice, then kicks Arctic off the apron. The Portal call for the Pyramid Suplex on Arctic. They connect, but Arctic is able to kick out. Ophidian sets up for the Egyptian Destroyer. Sanchez cuts him off. However, Ophidian gives him a fisherman’s buster. Amasis then assists Ophidian with an Egyptian Destroyer on Sanchez. Ophidian knocks Arctic off the apron and then pins Sanchez for the win at 17:47. There was a lot of wasted time in the beginning and the action didn’t feel very cohesive. For story purposes, they showed more cracks in Heidi and Kim’s relationship and some promise in a Sanchez/Arctic tandem, but the action itself was fairly pedestrian. Considering how these elimination matches usually deliver, I was left underwhelmed. **½

Oleg the Usurper has seen Jigsaw’s masked face in his dreams and has seen their battle play over and over in his mind, and it ends with Jigsaw’s head coming off. Never has Jigsaw faced a warrior such as himself before.

Oleg the Usurper vs. Jigsaw

Jigsaw ducks Oleg’s initial offense, throwing some kicks to Oleg’s leg. Oleg catches him in the corner and unloads with forearms and chops. Jigsaw rolls outside to create some distance. He comes back in with a sneak attack forearm. He lays in some of his own strikes in the corner. Oleg turns things around, ramming Jigsaw’s head into the corner repeatedly. He follows up with a rolling senton for two. Jigsaw catches him with a boot to block a corner attack and hits a missile dropkick. He throws some boots to Oleg’s face. Oleg becomes irritated and gets in some strikes before Jigsaw kicks his leg out. Oleg grabs his onion and Jigsaw smacks it out of his hand! He throws kicks to Oleg’s chest before kicking the onion to the crowd. Oleg cuts off Jigsaw’s run by grabbing his throat. Jigsaw kicks his arm away and double stomps Oleg’s back, sliding into a back senton. He kicks Oleg down to his knees. After some chest kicks, Jigsaw nails a running forearm strike to the chest for two. Jigsaw double stomps Oleg on the back. He misses a top rope double stomp but connects with a superkick. Oleg cuts him off with a Usurper kick. He picks up speed off the ropes before hitting a corner splash. He does it a second and third time, then chokeslams Jigsaw for two. Jigsaw goes outside, but this time Oleg follows with a rolling senton off the apron. Oleg takes him back in the ring, but Jigsaw catches him with a bicycle kick. Oleg hangs on the second rope, allowing Jigsaw to come off the top with a double stomp to the back. Oleg manages to kick out. He uses the ropes to get back to his feet. Jigsaw strings a corner uppercut and enzuigiri together before dropping Oleg with a brainbuster. Oleg kicks out! Jigsaw calls himself the best wrestler CHIKARA has ever produced as he slaps and kicks at Oleg. Oleg catches his foot. He cracks Jigsaw with three forearms before giving him a boot. Oleg goes for a splash but Jigsaw cuts him off with a bicycle kick. The second time, Oleg successfully splashes Jigsaw against the ropes. He tries a modified Air Raid Crash, but Jigsaw slips out into a folding press, pinning Oleg at 11:05. Jigsaw was able to turn the crowd against him, which given how beloved he is and how happy people were to see him return impresses me. He and Oleg had an excellent back and forth match with a solid story that made both competitors look strong. I’m interested to see what’s in store for both men in the long term as they both have potential to do some great things in the back half of 2016. Oleg has been having a quietly successful year and I hope matches like this allow more people to see his talent. ***¼

Missile Assault Man vs. Icarus

Missile starts by controlling Icarus by his feet, transitioning into a waistlock. He rides Icarus out into a half-nelson, though Icarus is able to get off the mat before a pinfall. Icarus backs Missile to the corner to escape a waistlock and elbows him in the face. Icarus escapes a side headlock but Missile shoulder blocks him down. This happens again, but this time Missile delivers two shoulder blocks, then brings Icarus back down in the mat in a side headlock. Icarus turns it into a headscissors for himself. Missile nips up and reapplies the side headlock. Icarus maneuvers into a backslide, then slaps Missile in the face. After a chop, Icarus dropkicks Missile to the corner for yet another dropkick. He gives Missile a neckbreaker for two, then goes for a crossface. Missile rolls out into a front facelock. He trips Icarus and holds his legs, but Icarus wiggles to the ropes before any submission can be applied. Icarus hits a backcracker for two. Missile misses an uppercut, jamming his shoulder in the corner. Icarus drives his knees into Missile’s arm, then grinds it and twists it up in the ropes. Missile is able to sneak in a schoolboy, but Icarus once again drives his knees into the arm to keep things in his favor. He rolls Missile over looking for a triangle choke. Missile muscles Icarus up, but his hurt arm doesn’t allow for much more. Icarus tries the Wings of Icarus. Missile counters with a trifecta of Northern Lights suplexes, which Icarus is able to kick out of. Missile catches Icarus on the middle rope. He wants the Rocket Launcher but his shoulder gives out. Icarus spits in Missile’s face when Missile slips out of the Blu-Ray. Missile becomes angry and unloads a corner dropkick and uppercuts in the corner. He finishes up with a springboard uppercut, sending Icarus to the floor. Missile follows with a suicide dive. As Missile is getting back in the ring, Icarus kicks the middle rope into his groin behind referee Jon Barber’s back. Icarus hits the Blu Ray for the pin at 13:15. There’s some interesting stuff coming out of this match. Icarus has now defeated the two remaining Battleborn members in singles competition. He also now has 3 points while Hallowicked, his “leader”, is champion. We also saw a potential character shift in Missile with him cracking a smile for the first time. Unfortunately, none of the interesting stuff happened in the confines of the ring itself. They kind of sort of used Missile’s arm to tell a story, but it had no effect on the finish, and they spent a good chunk of the opening match with no rhyme or reason to the action. The wrestling was also rather bland and repetitive, which is a shame since Missile has so much promise. Icarus’ character seems to have really regressed after two hot years, but maybe that’s just me. It just seems like unless he’s in a match with Kingston or a huge multi-man battle he isn’t producing the quality of work he did as Grand Champion or as a Dasher’s Dugout teammate. *

Arctic Rescue Ant comes out to check on Missile whose nursing his shoulder. Missile pushes him away and rolls to the floor.

Eddie Kingston vs. Jaka {BDK}

This is a rematch from “Sword of Destiny” almost one year ago to the date. Jakob Hammermeier is in Jaka’s corner. Both men are fired up. Kingston lays in some chops. Jaka ducks the Backfist and headbutts Kingston in the stomach. Kingston rolls outside and Jaka follows with a suicide dive. Jaka delivers a headbutt and rakes Kingston’s back. Jaka wins a chop exchange and grabs a chinlock. Kingston rolls back in and Jakob gives Jaka some words of encouragement. In the ring Jaka digs his knee into Kingston’s face. He gets two with a headbutt and chokes Kingston on the middle rope. He splashes Kingston in the corner for two. Kingston fights out of a nerve hold but is knocked right back down with a thrust to the throat. Jaka unloads with stomps and forearm strikes to the back. On the floor, Jaka is able to reverse Kingston’s vertical suplex attempt. Both men get back in the ring and Jaka immediately goes for a pin. Kingston is able to kick out but takes to the corner. He tries to keep Jaka back by chopping him away. Kingston avoids a corner attack and comes off the second rope with a bulldog. However, it has little effect on Jaka’s hard head, so Kingston unleashes machine gun chops in the corner. He drops Jaka with a rolling fisherman’s neckbreaker for two. Jaka ducks a shotgun lariat but succumbs to a belly-to-belly suplex. Kingston dives after Jaka with a plancha suicida. In the ring Jaka is able to block another Backfist and nail a superkick for two. He follows up with the T’Challa kick and a German suplex. Kingston gets his shoulder up just in time. Kingston intercepts Jaka coming off the rope. He gives him a Saito suplex and a lariat for two. Jaka ducks the Backfist. He accelerates off the ropes and headbutts Kingston in the chest. Jaka comes off the top. Mid-Air Kingston catches him with a Backfist. A Saito suplex and the Backfist to the Future only get Kingston a two count! Another Backfist to the Future gets Kingston the win at 11:19.

Kingston demands Jakob to look at him. Jakob refuses. Kingston pummels Jaka, despite referee Troy Nelson demanding he does not. He digs his hands into Jaka’s face. Referee Troy Nelson considers this a foul and decides to reverse the decision and disqualifies Kingston, making Jaka the winner. Kingston had enough points for a Grand Championship opportunity and now is back to zero. Other officials and wrestlers from the locker room try to stop Kingston, but he just continues to beat on Jaka. With Kingston is held back by the staff, Jakob nails him with his Knockout Punch. He then slaps Officer Warren Barksdale and clobbers Argus. Jakob handcuffs Kingston to the ropes. Kingston tells Jakob he better kill him. Jakob throws a series of punches to Kingston. Kingston begs for more, telling Jakob he doesn’t have the heart. Jakob yells to Kingston that he hates him before delivering another Knockout punch. He brings a chair and his crown into the ring. He puts on the crown and sits in the chair. As he walks around the ring, he says all kings possess three characteristics: the heart of lion, the strength of an ox, and the inability to quit. However, every warrior must lay down their sword one day, and that day has come long past due for Kingston. He says Kingston was a great War King, but his time is up. The reign of Hammermeier will last forever. He leaves Kingston with the parting gift of another knockout punch. Two referees free Kingston from the ropes, but the handcuffs still dangle from his arm as he leaves.

Like their first match, Jaka and Kingston had a fun, hard hitting brawl. I appreciated them throwing a little story in with Jaka ducking and dodging the Backfist from the start and that serving as his downfall. Reversing the decision I have conflicting feelings about, but the post match angle was really effective and added heaps of heat onto the issue between Kingston and the BDK. It will be very interesting to see how Kingston vs. Jakob will play out when the playing field is even. ***

Fire Ant is seated backstage when Mike Quackenbush approaches him. Quackenbush says the Nazmaldun business is coming at them from every angle. He’s about to lay out an idea when Fire Ant stops him mid-sentence and tells Quackenbush “I got this.”

Race Jaxon {NRG}, Hype Rockwell {NRG} & Fire Ant {C} vs. Hallowicked, Obariyon {B} & Kodama {B}

Jaxon schoolboys Kodama in the opening exchange, but Kodama kicks out and delivers a clothesline. Jaxon trips him into a back splash from Rockwell. The two trios square off mid-ring but referee Larry Peace keeps the peace, leaving Rockwell and Obariyon as the legal competitors. Obariyon rakes Rockwell’s eyes and knocks him down with a running shoulder block. Rockwell responds with one of his own. A Lucha exchange between Fire Ant and Hallowicked sees Fire Ant get the better of the Grand Champion, almost getting three when countering a Rydeen Bomb with a prawn hold. The Batiri break up the pin, causing N_R_G to enter the ring, and this time the match breaks down into a six man fight. The Batiri take out N_R_G on the floor so that they, along with Hallowicked, can pick apart Fire Ant in their half of the ring. Fire Ant is able to evade a step-up enzuigiri from Hallowicked, avoid corner attacks from the Batiri, and suicide dive onto Hallowicked, which legally tags in one of N_R_G. Both of them come in however, and Jaxon takes out Obariyon with an Ace Crusher. N_R_G throw punches and deliver stereo enzuigiri’s to Kodama. Jaxon clotheslines Obariyon in the ropes and Rockwell spins him into a powerslam. Hallowicked breaks the pin. Rockwell spears him into the corner and Jaxon follows up with a dropkick. Rockwell Finlay rolls Hallowicked into a top rope elbow drop from Jaxon. Obariyon breaks the pin attempt. Rockwell eats the Skull Bronzing. Jaxon fights off the Batiri but is attacked from behind by Hallowicked. Hallowicked powerbombs Jaxon into double knees to the back from the Batiri. The Baitri suicide dive onto Rockwell. Hallowicked pins Jaxon but only gets two. Hallowicked readies Jaxon for Never Wake Up. Fire Ant dives in to stop Hallowicked’s attempt. Fire Ant throws some shots before sending Hallowicked outside. He slingshots out into a Frankensteiner on the floor! He comes back in with a high crossbody to Kodama and a German suplex to Obariyon. He places Obariyon on the top turnbuckle. Kodama tries to fight Fire Ant off but he suplexes Kodama. Fire Ant then super Frankensteiner’s Obariyon onto Kodama. Fire Ant moonsault blocks into a DDT on Hallowicked for two. The Batiri come in to save Hallowicked from Fire Ant’s onslaught. The Batiri stop his tandem Frankensteiner attempt with a powerbomb. Obariyon knee strikes Fire Ant in the back of the head. He also knee strikes Fire Ant after an atomic drop from Kodama. Jaxon misses a double dropkick and suffers the same fate. The Batiri set up Jaxon for a double superplex. Rockwell takes them down, but Hallowicked hits the ropes so that Jaxon is crotched up top. Rockwell avoids a knee to the face and gives Kodama the Hyperwheel. He also blocks Obariyon’s Rapture and gives him the Hyperwheel. He goes for it on Hallowicked but he slips out. He wants Never Wake Up but Rockwell avoids it. Hallowicked settles for the Rydeen Bomb. Jaxon dives off the top into a boot from Hallowicked. Hallowicked big boots Rockwell off the apron, then drops Jaxon with Never Wake Up. Fire Ant tries to interject but Kodama stops him, giving Hallowicked the pin at 17:50. For the majority of this match, everything was great. The action was hot, the teamwork was top notch, and the crowd dug it. The last few minutes fell apart with some “deer in the headlights” looks from the competitors, as if they were waiting for the right guy to be in the right place before executing the next move. That kind of stuff can take me out of a match. This match did a lot of good in showing that Fire Ant can best Hallowicked when they’re put against each other one on one, which is important given what’s to come. With a tighter finish this would have been even better. ***¼

As The Batiri and Hallowicked are engaged in a post-match seance, Kobald comes to the ring. He breaks up the seance trying to talk some sense into Obariyon and Kodama. Enter UltraMantis Black in a wheelchair. Hallowicked and the Batiri pummel Kobald and bring him ringside to Mantis. Kobald screams “no!” but Mantis puts him under the same spell that the Batiri and Icarus have been put under. His demeanor changes and he pushes Mantis out when Mantis orders Kobald to “return him home.”

Juan Francisco de Coronado says tonight he sees “Mr. Touchdown” Mark Angelosetti in his rear view window, as that is Angelosetti’s place in life. Coronado with beat Angelosetti within an inch of his life, breaking all the bones in his bodies. Coronado will ride off into the sunset as his step cousin in law watches on, and Angelosetti will stay in his rearview mirror.

No Disqualification
Mark Angelosetti {T} vs. Juan Francisco de Coronado

Special Guest Referee: Dasher Hatfield

Coronado shoves Angelosetti away, leading to both men pummeling one another on the mat. Angelosetti shoves Coronado to the floor after a hard clothesline. Back inside Angelosetti tosses Coronado overhead with a leg-capture suplex twice, Back on the floor, Coronado cuts off Angelosetti by pulling up the mats and hitting Angelosetti with them. He then bodyslams Angelosetti on the exposed concrete twice. He sends Angelosetti back first into the ring post, but then both men knock each other down with simultaneous clotheslines. Coronado grabs his flag when they go back into the ring. While Angelosetti is able to tackle him into the corner, Coronado cuts off his final running shoulder tackle by driving the flag into Angelosetti’s throat. He then chokes Angelosetti with the flag pole. Angelosetti turns things around and grabs the flag. He decides against breaking the flag over Coronado’s back, trying to show Hatfield he’s a changed man, and ends up taking an enzuigiri from Coronado. Coronado drags in a piece of the mats from the floor into the ring. He rolls up Angelosetti in the mat rendering him immobile. Coronado legdrops him, then brings out a bag from under the ring. He grabs a pair of scissors and cuts the top turnbuckle off of one of the corners. He unwraps Angelosetti and delivers some forearm shots to the lower back. Angelosetti is able to duck a clothesline and unload a flying clothesline of his own. Angelosetti gives Coronado a running spinebuster, but as they leave the corner, Coronado rips off the turnbuckle pad, exposing that corner. Coronado rolls Angelosetti into the Coronado Clutch. Angelosetti rolls forward, sending Coronado outside. He follows outside and gives Coronado a reverse suplex on the floor. As Angelosetti brings Coronado into the ring Prakash Sabar enters the match. Hatfield puts him out of the ring, but The Proletariat Boar of Moldova sneaks in and Gore’s Angelosetti! It’s only enough to get Coronado a two count. They go to the apron where Coronado tries to German suplex Angelosetti. Angelosetti resists, but Coronado ends up spearing him to the floor! Coronado brings a chair into the ring. Both men fight over it. With neither man getting the chair, they drop it and trade forearm strikes. Angelosetti ducks a chair shot and spikes Coronado with a spinebuster for two. After a small package, Coronado knocks down Angelosetti with a dropkick. With joy, Coronado tries to hit Angelosetti in the back with the chair. He avoids it and goes for the Flea Flicker. Coronado escapes, jabs the chair into Angelosetti’s ribs, then hits him across the back with it. He tells Angelosetti that he is all alone as he cracks him with the chair once again. A third chair shot connects. Coronado follows up all the damage to Angelosetti’s back with a Tiger Driver. Somehow, Angelosetti is able to kick out. Angelosetti ducks a chairshot and the chair ricochet’s off the ropes into Coronado’s face. Angelosetti hits the Flea Flicker for two. Angelosetti goes for a tackle. Coronado drops him face first into the corner with the exposed buckle! Coronado German suplexes Angelosetti five times in a row, but doesn’t keep the bridge. Hatfield checks for a knockout but Angelosetti refuses to stay down. Coronado gives him a piledriver. Not interested in going for a pin, he lifts Angelosetti’s body in the corner, but Angelosetti crumbles. Coronado tells Hatfield to get back when he tries checking on Angelosetti. He tells Hatfield that he will not stop the match. Coronado props up a chair in the corner and sits Angelosetti down so that it’s much easier to drag Angelosetti to the top turnbuckle. He hooks him for a super Tiger Driver, but Angelosetti wills his way out of the double lock. He maneuvers Coronado onto his shoulders and brings him down with the Grand Slam, a staple of Hatfield’s! That gets Angelosetti the pin at 24:23.

I can’t help but be reminded of Angelosetti’s terrific No DQ match with Archibald Peck in February 2013. Like that match, this paid off on all the puzzle pieces laid out in previous matches, as the commentary team did an excellent job of pointing out. While Coronado came off as mean spirited, hell bent on doing harm to Angelosetti, beating him with weapons ad nauseum, Angelosetti never once used a weapon and ended up using Hatfield’s finishing move to win, the move of a man who he has been looking to make amends with since November. A more poetic ending I could not think off. Both Touchdown and Coronado played their roles to perfection. This match gave Coronado his star making performance, and probably the best singles match he’s had since his Grand Championship match with Icarus. This great feud-ending encounter is almost enough for me to forgive some of the more frustrating moments this feud produced. Almost. ****

Dasher Hatfield quickly exits the ring, ignoring the embrace Touchdown attempted to give him.

After the credits, we see Mr. Touchdown leaving the building, holding his lower back in agony as he walks with a rolling suitcase. He opens up the trunk of his car and starts hearing noises behind him. He looks around before putting his bag in the trunk and closing it. He hears more noises as he approaches the driver’s door, but sees nothing and gets into the driver’s seat. He then notices an empty wheelchair in front of his car. From the backseat, UltraMantis Black grabs Angelosetti by his face and the scene fades to black.

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