Aniversario: The Chamber of Secrets

ChamberOfSecrets

Manchester, England – 5.28.2016

Championship Rundown
Grand Champion: Princess Kimberlee
Campeones de Parejas: N_R_G (Race Jaxon & Hype Rockwell)
Young Lions Cup Champion: The Estonian Thunderfrog

Commentary is provided by Leonard F. Chikarason and Dasher Hatfield.

Because Mike Quackenbush is coming out of retirement for tonight’s main event. Senior Official Bryce Remsburg will serve as the Director of Fun for this event.

N_R_G are backstage. Race Jaxon says they’re going to show the UK what N_R_G is all about. Rockwell is pacing in the background. Jaxon says they took down some big dogs to become Los Campeonatos de Parejas and they have some big ones tonight. They’re facing Drew Gulak and the former Chuck Taylor tonight. They know that Gulak and the former Taylor have a deep pedigree in CHIKARA, and they plan to show Gulak and the former Taylor what N_R_G is all about.

Race Jaxon {NRG} & Hype Rockwell {NRG} vs. Drew Gulak {GC} & Rich Mahogany {GC}

Rich Mahogany is the former Stewie Scrivens who is the former Karate Durling who is the former Trent Baretta who is the former Benny Figg who is the former Touch Phillips who is the former Bugg Nevans who is the former Rick Beanbag who is the former Scoot Tatum who is the former Chuck Taylor.

Jaxon holds on tight to a side headlock on Gulak. Gulak takes him to the mat and twists up Jaxon’s digits. Gulak monkey flips him while holding onto a double knuckle lock. Jaxon negotiates into a hammerlock, which Gulak snapmares his way out of. He twists up Jaxon’s legs and locks on a modified Trailblazer while grabbing at Jaxon’s face. He drops his knees onto Jaxon’s shoulders for a pin, but Jaxon shoves him off. He goes back to the side headlock. Gulak applies a headscissors and tags in Mahogany. Gulak releases the hold on Jaxon which allows Rockwell to tag in. Mahogany’s shoulder tackle fails to move Rockwell. After criss-crossing the ropes, Rockwell delivers a shoulder tackle of his own. Jaxon comes in with a double axe handle and gets two with a Magistral cradle. He grabs the side headlock. Mahogany takes Jaxon to the corner and Beele’s him across the ring. Gulak drops Jaxon with a brainbuster for two. Jaxon recovers and nails a flying forearm for two. Rockwell and Jaxon keep Gulak trapped in their corner momentarily. Gulak bends Jaxon down to the mat in a Gory Stretch for two. Mahogany tags in and is quickly taken to the N_R_G corner. He and Rockwell trade wristlocks. Rockwell takes over on the mat. Mahogany belly-to-belly suplexes Jaxon across the ring and comes off the middle rope with a missile dropkick for two. Gulak gets in some shots but Jaxon grabs the side headlock once again. Gulak throws him down out of a waistlock. Jaxon avoids a corner attack and lands a high crossbody. Gulak and Jaxon evade each others’ offense until Jaxon dropkicks Gulak to the floor. Mahogany gets kicked to the floor by Mahogany. Jaxon dives off of Rockwell’s back onto Mahogany and Gulak. Back inside, tempers flare between Jaxon and Gulak. Gulak slams him into the ropes. Jaxon and Gulak get into a slugfest afterwards. Mahogany attacks Jaxon from behind. He whips Jaxon into a knee from Gulak. Mahogany enzuigiri’s Jaxon and gives him a DDT for two. Gulak comes off the top with a diving clothesline. They double chokeslam Jaxon. Rockwell breaks the pin and cleans house on his opponents. Mahogany cuts him off with the Brodie Knee. Gulak gives him a kneeling Michinoku Driver. Jaxon breaks the pin. Mahogany accidentally superkicks Gulak! Jaxon superkicks Mahogany into the Hyperwheel from Rockwell for the pin at 16:18. They had some good ideas that didn’t materialize. Jaxon going back to the side headlock, Rockwell working over the arm, Gulak and Jaxon getting hot at each other – all ideas with potential that didn’t go anywhere. There wasn’t even much build up to the friendly fire between the Gents Club. The effort was there and the wrestling was good, but had a solid story materialized this would have been even better. **½

Ophidian {OP} vs. Hermit Crab

Crab boots Ophidian in the stomach to stop his oncoming charge. Crab gets in a couple of strikes, but Ophidian headbutts him thrice in the chest. Crab whips him to the corner. Ophidian headstands and awaits for Crab to crab walk over to him. When Crab does, Ophidian headstands over him and avoids a running pincer. Ophidian headstands into a headbutt to the stomach. He hits a moonsault for two. Crab grabs a nerve hold and delivers a clothesline. He slams Ophidian twice and digs both his claws into Ophidian’s shoulders. Crab whips him to the corner again and crab walks towards him. His slow walk results in Ophidian being able to recover and throw a variety of chops. Ophidian responds to Crab’s pincer hold with a claw of his own. Ophidian headbutts Crab’s arms away and hits an enzuigiri. Crab chokeslams Ophidian. He connects with an uppercut in the corner, causing Crab to celebrate. Ophidian props himself up in the ropes and hypnotizes Hermit Crab (and Bryce Remsburg, incidentally). Ophidian starts a dance contest which ends with Crab pinching himself! Ophidian snaps him out of the trance with a bicycle kick and double knees in the corner. He headstands into a double knee strike, then hits Meteora for the pin at 6:59. This told a fun story, with Crab’s claws leading to his very demise. This could be used as a growth opportunity for the character if they wanted it to be. Crab still needs polishing, but he and Ophidian hid his flaws and produced a fun match. *¼

Lucas Calhoun has been studying all the masters of karate to prepare for this match: Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris, Kwang, and Steve Blackman. His opponent tonight, Icarus, is not unlike him: they are both changed men. Calhoun plans to make an example of Icarus, at the hand of “Cool Hand Luke”, as demonstrated with a karate chop.

Lucas Calhoun vs. Icarus

Icarus is not amused by, nor does he want to get involved with Calhoun’s shadow karate. Icarus elbows his way out of a waistlock, but gets turned inside out with a shoulder block. Icarus takes a powder. He misses a dropkick and multiple clotheslines, but connects with a kick to the back of Calhoun’s head. Icarus scores with a corner dropkick and running knee to the face for two. He chokes Calhoun on the middle rope with all of his body weight. On the floor he sends Calhoun head first into the ring post and chops him around ringside. In the ring Icarus wears down Calhoun’s back with a Camel Clutch. Icarus snapmares him into a back kick and gives him multiple shots to the stomach. Calhoun bandera’s to the apron and dazes Icarus with a leaping knee strike. He comes in from the middle rope with a karate chop to the head for two. Icarus responds with a Jon Woo dropkick for two. Calhoun escapes the Shiranui. Icarus ducks a clothesline and hits it on the second try for two. He calls for the Wings of Icarus. Calhoun instead swings Icarus into a pumphandle backbreaker for two. He goes for the Samoan Drop. Icarus turns it into a schoolboy for two. He hits the Blu Ray for the pin at 9:32. While the wrestling was basic, Calhoun got a chance to showcase his charisma early on and show he could hang with a CHIKARA Gen 1 original on his own. Seeing Icarus revert to his Rudo ways is in a way refreshing, almost like seeing an old friend for the first time. I enjoyed this and appreciated it’s simple nature. **¼

Chuck Taylor™ says there’s been a lot of talk about his match with Eddie Kingston tonight. He knows Kingston was a former Grand Champion, but he himself was a former Emmy nominated actor. He was the baby Kunta Kinte held up in “Roots.” He was destined for greatness from an early age and is destined to defeat Kingston as well.

Eddie Kingston vs. Chuck Taylor™

Taylor™ throws his jacket at Kingston. Kingston unleashes Kobashi like chops on him in response. Kingston mocks Taylor™ with some singing in between chops. Taylor™ fights out of the Saito suplex by giving him an eye rake. He knocks down Kingston with a running back elbow. He hits the New and Improved Soul Food. Taylor™ grabs the microphone and tells Edward that he is going to make him suffer. He kicks Kingston out of the ring and starts singing “7 Days” by Craig David, which he claims to have co-written. Kingston double fish hooks his face and pummels him ringside. He chops Taylor™ as Taylor™ lays across some fans and is still holding the microphone. In the ring, Taylor™ pretends to apologize, only to lure Kingston into a chinbreaker! He drops Kingston with a DDT for two. Taylor™ goes for Sole Food but Kingston is too tall. Kingston successfully pulls off the Saito suplex twice. The fans ask for a third and Kingston obliges. The Backfist of the Future gets Kingston the pin at 5:10. This was an absolute blast. Taylor™’s character is incredible, and the crowd loved watching him perform and get his butt kicked. Kingston made Taylor™ sing his song after the match while he was in immense pain. This whole package was incredible. ***

Princess Kimberlee, Heidi Lovelace, Fire Ant {C} & Soldier Ant {C} vs. Hallowicked, Frightmare, Obariyon {B} & Kodama {B}

Soldier Ant uses armdrags and a dropkick to take the opening exchange with Obariyon. Fire Ant passes Obariyon to Soldier Ant for an atomic drop. Fire Ant lands three sentons before Soldier Ant delivers a falling headbutt. Hallowicked tosses Soldier Ant to the floor. Fire Ant gets the better of him in a Lucha exchange. The Nightmare Warriors all get stacked up in the corner. Lovelace separates them into opposite corners, then the Tecnicos whip them into one another and rowboat their collective legs. Kodama takes over Kimberlee with a Frankensteiner and Japanese armdrag. He misses a corner attack and Kimberlee delivers a Jon Woo dropkick and double knees to the chest. Frightmare throws her out. He ducks a kick from Lovelace, but Lovelace catapults herself into a quesadora armdrag. She comes off the middle rope with an alita and drops Frightmare with a running STO. She tries a DDT but Frightmare takes her over in a Northern Lights suplex. She turns a crucifix pin into a Rings of Saturn. Kodama bites her leg, leading to a chain of submissions from all eight competitors. The Tecnicos spread out the Rudos in the four corners and each deliver punches. Hallowicked and the Batiri dispose of the Colony and Lovelace, then save Frightmare from Kimberlee’s attack. Hallowicked and Kimberlee fight in the ring while the Nightmare Warriors fight her partners around the building. Kimberlee unleashes some rapid fire chops. Frightmare reenters the ring only to tope con hilo onto Fire Ant. Soldier Ant comes in but Hallowicked instantly tosses him back out. Kimberlee does a valiant job fighting off all four Nightmare Warriors but succumbs to the insurmountable odds. During their beatdown, like last night, the Nightmare Warriors target Kimberlee’s left leg. Kimberlee avoids corner attacks from both Hallowicked and Frightmare and sends them out. Lovelace from the apron fights off the Batiri so she can tag out, but Kimberlee tags in Soldier Ant instead! Hallowicked throws him out and drags Kimberlee back into the ring, going back to working over her leg. Hallowicked sets her up for Never Wake Up, stating this is the end for her. Kimberlee counters into the Alligator Clutch but Frightmare breaks up the pin. Kimberlee German suplexes all of the Nightmare Warriors twice, except Hallowicked who blocks the second attempt and counters with Go 2 Sleepy Hollow. Lovelace breaks up the pin and hits Hallowicked with a Heidi-Can-Rana. Kodama stops the pin. He tosses her to Obariyon for the Seventh Circle. Fire Ant comes in with a high crossbody to Kodama and a tornado DDT to Obariyon. Fire Ant takes them both over with a double Frankensteiner. The Colony hit the Ants Marching dropkick on both Batiri members. They give Kodama the Ants Marching neckbreaker. Frightmare breaks the pin. Soldier Ant goes for a TKO. Frightmare shoves him to Hallowicked, who tosses him to Frightmare for Go 2 Sleepy Hollow. Hallowicked assists Frightmare with a double stomp. A flurry of offense ends with Lovelace eating the Skull Bronzing from the Batiri. Soldier Ant makes the save just in time. He knocks down the Batiri with back elbows. The Batiri stop Soldier Ant from ascending the ropes. Lovelace shoves the Batiri to the floor and follows with a crossbody onto Kodama. The Colony suicide dive onto Obariyon and Frightmare. Kimberlee looks to dive but Hallowicked cuts her off with a yakuza kick. Never Wake Up connects for the pin at 21:08. Like most Atomicos matches CHIKARA has, the action was consistent and fun. This had some nice layers to it as well, as Hallowicked and Kimberlee now split the difference in wins across the weekend (for now), Kimberlee’s leg was further worn down, and Lovelace now has some more ammunition to throw at Kimberlee when that relationship inevitably goes South. The Nightmare Warriors also worked super well together, as you’d expect after all the matches they had against each other over the years. Although their time in the ring together was brief, I got a lot of joy seeing the original Colony duo together. Good stuff. ***½

World of Sport Rules
Mike Quackenbush vs. Johnny Kidd

The match will be contested in eight, three-minute rounds. You win the match by scoring two falls (pinfalls or submissions), or by knockout. Drew Gulak is Quackenbush’s corner man while Tyler Bate is Kidd’s corner man.

Round One: The match begins with a wristlock reversal, with Quackenbush using his agility to reverse Kidd’s initial hold and Kidd rolling away from Quackenbush to bring them back to a stalemate. Although Quackenbush escapes from a full nelson, Kidd takes him to the mat in a headscissors. Quackenbush pops out of that. Kidd sneaks in a sunset flip, but the round ends before a full count can be made.

Round Two: Kidd starts the round with a neck-tie headscissors. Quackenbush pulls down his legs to the mat and lifts up Kidd’s left leg while it’s tied up under his right leg. Kidd is in immense pain, but rolls his way free and trips Quackenbush to the canvas while keeping his legs locked. Quackenbush makes it to his face, and Kidd releases his legs in the name of sportsmanship. Quackenbush tries to trip Kidd, but Kidd simply steps out of the leg hold. Kidd tries to double cross Quackenbush on a handshake, but Quackenbush flips him out of a wristlock to the mat instead. Kidd is stretching out Quackenbush’s wrist when the round ends.

Round Three: Kidd puts on a neck lock. Quackenbush escapes and trips Kidd. Kidd puts on a head vice, but Quackenbush digs his elbow into Kidd’s knees. Kidd grabs a bodyscissors and accelerates Quackenbush forward to add pressure. Quackenbush is accelerated out of the bodyscissors by accident. He goes back to Kidd’s knee. Kidd then puts on a figure four surfboard with a double knuckle lock. Quackenbush headstands out and pins Kidd to the canvas for a two count. Kidd grabs the shoulder when the round ends.

Round Four: Kidd grabs a double knuckle lock behind Quackenbush’s back. He brings him down to the mat and digs his feet into Quackenbush’s shoulders. Quackenbush bike pedals in the air and escapes. Kidd grabs a courting hold on Quackenbush’s right shoulder. After a standing headscissors doesn’t work, Quackenbush armdrags out and grabs a straight jacket choke. Kidd drives his knees into Quackenbush’s face which Quackenbush does not seem to appreciate. Kidd hip tosses him over for a two count. Quackenbush is in the process of escaping Kidd’s body scissors when the bell rings to end the round.

Round Five: Kidd transitions from a full nelson into a chinlock on the mat. Quackenbush baits Kidd into a wristlock. He kicks Kidd’s left arm away. Quackenbush sits down to avoid being Irish whipped across the ring. Kidd muscles him up. He trips Quackenbush into a toe hold. Quackenbush cartwheels away, but Kidd rolls with him. Quackenbush grabs an abdominal stretch, which Kidd hip tosses his way out of. Quackenbush tries to trip Kidd, but Kidd kneels down onto Quackenbush’s shoulders and folds up his leg, scoring a fall at 18:31. We go into Round 6 with Kidd at one fall, Quackenbush with zero falls.

Round Six: Kidd outstretches Quackenbush over his knee, digging the top of his head into the mat. Quackenbush weaves out into a wristlock, which Kidd turns into a lateral press for a series of two counts. Kidd goes back to the straightjacket choke and leans back to stretch Quackenbush’s legs and back out across his knees. Quackenbush rolls back, reversing the choke. Kidd snapmares out of that. Quackenbush has Kidd’s legs and knees stretched out, and throws Kidd’s head into the canvas when the bell rings.

Round Seven: Kidd drives his elbow into Quackenbush’s face. Quackenbush back trips Kidd into a toe hold. Kidd spreads out Quackenbush’s legs with his feet until Quackenbush trips. He takes a shot at Quackenbush’s throat. Quackenbush goes up and over him in the corner. He rolls Kidd back and into the Alligator Clutch for a pinfall at 24:51. We head into the eighth and final round with the match tied at one fall a piece.

Round Eight: They shake one another’s hands to start. Kidd takes a double knuckle lock exchange, flipping Quackenbush onto his shoulders and digging his feet back into his shoulders. He pulls his legs forward and traps him, only scoring a two count. He also gets two with a backslide. Quackenbush gets two with a small package. Kidd headbutts Quackenbush in the chest and accelerates him chest first into the corner for a two count. Kidd goes for a Crab, but Quackenbush rolls Kidd to the floor. He reenters the ring and Quackenbush again gets two with a small package. Kidd elbows him in the chest. He ducks Quackenbush’s palm strike and goes for a surfboard stretch. Quackenbush resists but Kidd is able to lock it on. Quackenbush fights out. They each go for a desperation pin, but the match ends in a draw when the bell rings to end the round at 29:15 (breaks between rounds included).

From a wrestling perspective, this was what you would expect. Holds, counter holds, few to no strikes, lots of pinfalls, and the two falls coming with each guy catching each other in a clutch. Of course, you’ll be hard pressed to find two active competitors today who are as good at that style as these two. That said, it’s the little things they did that made the story. Quackenbush came off as a student of the game facing the game’s creator; while Quackenbush knew his stuff, and could even be considered a master, the forefather had his number in almost every round. Quackenbush would shake out his wrist here and there, reminding the audience that it’s a weak point on his body, and it added that much more anytime Kidd would go for his wrist or outstretch his arms. Each of them did a great job with facial expressions, portraying the match shifting from a friendly sporting competition into a somewhat heated affair. The whole package was a lot of fun to watch and the rounds flew by. This was a match worthy of Quackenbush coming out of retirement for and a nice send off for Kidd. ****

The fans chant for one more round. Instead, Quackenbush and Kidd shake hands, and Quackenbush leaves the ring, leaving Johnny Kidd to bask in the thank yous and applause from the crowd. Mildly exasperated, Quackenbush says some inaudible things to Kidd as he goes backstage, presumably frustrated that their score will never be settled. Eddie Kingston enters the ring and bows to Kidd. The CHIKARA locker room surrounds the ring, shaking Kidd’s hand to thank him for his efforts.

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