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Philadelphia, PA – 4.2.2016

Championship Rundown
Grand Champion: Princess Kimberlee
Campeones de Parejas: N_R_G (Race Jaxon & Hype Rockwell)
Young Lions Cup Champion: The Estonian Thunderfrog

Commentary is provided by Mike Quackenbush and Bryce Remsburg.

Tag World Grand Prix Quarter-Final Round Match
Fire Ant {C} & Worker Ant {C} vs. The Proletariat Boar of Moldova {BP} & Prakash Sabar {BP}

Fire Ant is a former Tag World winner, winning the 2008 tournament with Soldier Ant. He backs Sabar to the corner and cleanly breaks a lock-up, despite Sabar claiming hair pulling. Sabar pokes Fire Ant’s eye when he backs him to the corner. Fire Ant grabs a double knuckle lock before maneuvering Sabar into a tornado clutch for two. They trade side headlocks, with Sabar resorting to dirty tactics to get the hold on. Fire Ant pulls his hair to even the score. Sabar kicks him down. Fire Ant comes back with a pair of fireman’s carry’s and a senton splash for two. Worker Ant tags in. Sabar bows out to avoid a double boot. Boar gets in some shots. Worker Ant headbutts Boar twice. Boar kicks him in the stomach multiple times. Boar resists Worker Ant’s running shoulder blocks. Two shoulder tackles take down the Boar, as does a bodyslam from Worker Ant. The Colony try a corner double team but Boar sends Fire Ant to the floor and Sabar cuts off Worker Ant with kicks. Sabar sets Worker Ant on the middle turnbuckle. Boar drives his knees into his midsection. Sabar hits the Busted Bronco.Worker Ant slides to the floor while Sabar is posing. Fire Ant throws chops to the Bloc Party, but succumbs to a sidewalk slam/reverse DDT combo. Sabar utilizes kicks and a corner bulldog, but Fire Ant is able to sneak in a dropkick. Worker Ant comes in and attempts the Ants Marching. Boar breaks things up and dumps Sabar onto Fire Ant out of a Dominator. Worker Ant and Boar trade blows. Each look for a power move, which Worker Ant eventually gets with a vertical suplex. Sabar breaks the cover. He goes for his rope-assisted bulldog, but Worker Ant stops him with a spin-out slam. He strings a back splash and cannonball senton together. The Colony goes for the Ants Marching dropkick but Boar pulls Sabar out of the ring. Colony miss stereo pescado’s. The Bloc Party look for their sidewalk slam/reverse DDT combo on Fire Ant again, but Worker Ant uranage slams Sabar to prevent that from happening. Fire Ant swings Boar into a tornado DDT. Boar takes the Ants Marching dropkick. They both boot down Sabar and give him the Ants Marching neckbreaker for the pin at 11:58. The Bloc Party continue to impress, both with their in-ring acumen but also with how smart they work as a team. They dynamic between two teams with one powerhouse and a smaller, agile partner worked well and kept the action interesting and diverse. I also really appreciated the Colony busting out some signature tandem offense, which I feel like we haven’t seen much of in general. This was a good match and a fun way to kick off the show. **¾

Director of Fun Mike Quackenbush makes his way to the ring. The entire promo is posted here, and is well worth watching, so I’ll keep this (relatively) brief. Johnny Kidd will be retiring from wrestling and wishes to face Mike Quackenbush in his final match. These two have met twice before, once in singles competition in wXw and in tag team action at “Chikarasaurus Rex, King of Sequel: Night II”, with each of them winning the contest. Kidd wants to settle the score with a tiebreaker. Despite all the odds against him, Quackenbush’s doctor has cleared him to compete for one night only. On May 28th at “Aniversario: The Chamber of Secrets” in Manchester, England, Quackenbush will step aside as Director of Fun for one night only (putting his duties in Bryce Remsburg’s hands) and wrestle one last time against Kidd in a World of Sport Rules match – Six three-minute rounds in which you need to score two pinfalls, two submissions, or one knockout to win. Quackenbush tells Kidd they will settle their issue, forever.

Officer Warren Barksdale vs. Juan Francisco de Coronado

Coronado breaks a lock-up cleanly in the corner. Barksdale tells Coronado to obey the law of the official. Barksdale ducks Coronado’s punch and brings him down in a waistlock. He hammerlocks one arm looking to “cuff” Coronado, so Coronado crawls to the apron. He gives him a shoulder block from the apron. Back in the ring Barksdale catches Coronado with a standing Rydeen Bomb. He pulls out his handcuffs. Coronado drives Barksdale face first into the middle rope and stomps him repeatedly in the stomach. He whips Barksdale to the corner and pulls him out into a short-arm clothesline for two. Barksdale reverses a whip to the corner. He follows in with a knee strike and takes down Coronado with a back elbow. He goes for Obey the Law. Coronado slips out to the apron and gives Barksdale a neckbreaker across the top rope. A bridging German suplex gets Coronado the pin at 4:07. There wasn’t much to this aside from some small character moments out of Barksdale, which he got much more mileage out of in his other previous matches. All this did was space out the tournament matches. *

Flex Rumblecrunch asks Blaster McMassive who is more successful in tournaments than them; Nobody. He then asks Blaster how long he and Max Smashmaster held the Campeones de Parejas; 295 days. He then asks how long it’s been since they’ve held those tag titles; 188 long days. Flex says in 1 day they will march through everybody and get three points. He tells N_R_G to stay awake, because they’re coming for their belts.

Tag World Grand Prix Quarter-Final Round Match
Blaster McMassive {DC} & Flex Rumblecrunch {DC} vs. Shaun Cannon & Drake Carter

Carter & Cannon comprise the Punk Rock All-Stars, who unsuccessfully challenged N_R_G for the Campeones de Parejas in November. McMassive is wearing a cast on his left hand. A slugfest with all four men start off. The All-Stars try knocking the Dev Corp off their feet, only for the Dev Corp to take them down with stereo big boots. Rumblecrunch throws Carter into the corner and drives his knees into the mid-section. Carter brings Rumblecrunch into his own corner with a three-quarter bulldog. Cannon kicks Rumblecrunch from the apron. He tries a crossbody, but Rumblecrunch rolls through. Carter dropkicks them both to the floor. McMassive lariats Carter from behind leading to all four men slugging it out around the building. Rumblecrunch picks up speed, only for Cannon to send him into a ringpost. McMassive and Carter meanwhile fight outside of the building. Cannon does a solid job holding his own against Rumblecrunch, until McMassive rejoins the action. He and Rumblecrunch bully Cannon while Carter recovers. Cannon low bridges the top rope to send a charging Rumblecrunch to the apron. Carter pulls him down, causing him to crash face first with the apron, and Cannon suicide dives onto Rumblecrunch afterwards. Carter comes in with McMassive. He ducks Lariat Tubman and unloads with forearms to McMassive. Carter lands a somersault senton to a standing McMassive. The Punk Rock All-Stars give him a side slam/reverse DDT combo. Rumblecrunch breaks the pin. He misses a corner splash. Cannon blasts him with a step-up knee strike. Rumblecrunch however sends Carter into Cannon with a spear. The Dev Corp hit Carter with the Master Blaster for the pin at 7:50. The All-Stars looked excellent going toe-to-toe with the Dev Corp. I don’t think the winners of this match were ever in doubt, but they did a convincing job making it seem like they had a fighting chance. After their title loss I was indifferent on the All-Stars returning, but after this match I’d be more welcome to seeing them as part-timers. Rumblecrunch continues to do a great job as the frontman of the Dev Corp. **½

The Sea Stars of Ashley Vox and Delmi Exo give us an elaborate introduction. Vox says whomever their opponents are tonight will be SEEING STARS. Eh? Eh?!

Tag World Grand Prix Quarter-Final Round Match
El Hijo del Ice Cream {IC} & Ice Cream Jr. {IC} vs. Ashley Vox & Delmi Exo

Vox & Exo comprise the Sea Stars, who competed individually during the Young Lions Cup XII tournament during National Pro Wrestling Day in February. Exo does Hijo’s dance, which he does not seem to appreciate, as seen by his kick to the stomach and elbows to the neck. Exo ducks a double team and takes down Jr. with a satellite headscissors. The Sea Stars give him a double atomic drop and clothesline, but are slightly off sync. Vox holds Jr. so Exo can sunset flip him. Hijo kicks Exo to break the cover. She knocks Hijo down with three running double chops. Vox grabs a side headlock. Hijo reverses. Exo blind tags in. Vox drop toe holds him into an elbow drop from Exo. Vox hits him with a basement dropkick for two. Vox clotheslines him in one corner. She tries a monkey flip but Jr. cuts her off and drops her stomach first onto the top rope. Los Ice Creams isolate Vox from her sister until she slips to the floor. She baits Hijo into chasing her around the ring into a splash off the apron from Exo. In the ring, Vox flings Jr. across the ring. He hits the floor and Vox suicide dives after him. In the ring, Hijo deposits Exo to the floor. Vox sends Los Ice Creams into one another. Exo and Vox hit multiple corner splashes, then dropkicks to their seated opponents. Exo covers Jr. for a two count. Hijo throws Vox into Exo. The Sea Stars use tandem kicks to stop their attack. They hit stereo tornado DDT’s for two. They set up for the Hart Attack. Hijo trips Vox as she hits the ropes. He punches her on the floor. Exo falls victim to El Asesino for the pin at 11:16. While some of their offense was uncoordinated and off sync, the Sea Stars did a better job here than they did at the Young Lions Cup. Vox did a fine job on defense and the crowd rallied behind them. It was also fun seeing Los Ice Creams play the Rudos once again after a prolonged period as Tecnicos. The Sea Stars definitely need some work, but I’m not opposed to seeing them get another opportunity. **¼

Icarus does not know why Wani chooses to align himself with Juan Francisco de Coronado. In March he felt first hand how good Wani is in the ring and knows he could succeed on his own. But, if Wani is going to use underhanded and dirty tactics, it is his job to teach Wani that that path ends in a wood shed.

Icarus vs. Wani

Wani foreams Icarus in the back and jabs him in the throat after an intense opening lock-up. Icarus avoids a boot and dropkicks Wani to the corner. He brings him out with a pair of vertical suplexes and gets two with a fisherman’s suplex. Wani ducks a clothesline and hits a back handspring gamengiri. Wani goes for a double choke bomb. Icarus looks to counter with a Blu-Ray. Wani slips off his back and takes him down with a running STO. He chokes Icarus on the middle rope. Icarus fires back with some forearm strikes. Wani catches Icarus’ running crossbody and gives him a fallaway slam. Icarus ducks a lariat. He tries the Shiranui. Wani slips out and hits a pump kick for two. They trade chops and forearms. All the shots allow Icarus to successfully deliver the Shiranui. Wani kicks out right before the three count. Icarus wants the Wings of Icarus. However, Wani swings out and gets in a few kicks to the leg and shots to the neck before giving Icarus the Rydeen Bomb for two. Wani misses a corner splash. Icarus moves out of the way of Wani’s back handspring gamengiri. Icarus hits the Blu-Ray for the pin at 6:43. I think it’s a shame Wani lost here. He’s been on such a roll and to neutralize his big win over Icarus just two weeks later seems like an odd call. Hopefully there’s more to it. I appreciated the action and the Shiranui pay off but can’t help but feel a little let down. *½

Mathieu St. Jacques and Thomas Dubois are from Montreal and comprise the tandem “Tabarnak de Team.” They cut the majority of their promo in French, but do say they’re going to chop down the Osirian Portal.

Tag World Grand Prix Quarter-Final Round Match
Amasis {OP} & Ophidian {OP} vs. Mathieu St. Jacques & Thomas Dubois

St. Jacques and Dubois are replacing the injured Hermit Crab and Rock Lobster. TDT attack the Portal before the bell. St. Jacques drives Amasis back first into the corner, then Dubois drives Ophidian into Amasis. Dubois clotheslines them into one another, then sends them into St. Jacques for another clothesline. The Portal show some sign of life with strikes, but TDT takes back over quickly by throwing Ophidian to the floor and focusing their attack on Amasis. Ophidian stops them by coming off the top with a single leg dropkick for both of them. The Portal look for tandem dives, but TDT cut them off with forearms in mid-air. TDT then hit their own suicide dives. They beat down the Portal on the floor, harassing some fans in the process. In the ring Dubois mutilates Ophidian with repeated backbreakers. St. Jacques comes off the middle rope with a knee drop to his chest. Amasis breaks the pin. Dubois cuts off Amasis with a knee from the apron, sending him into a spinebuster from St. Jacques for two. TDT go back to pummeling Amasis and keeping Ophidian at bay. Ophidian tries his top rope dropkick again. TDT catch him this time around and toss him into the corner. They then double suplex Amasis onto Ophidian. They stack up the Portal in the corner once more. St. Jacques splashes them both. Ophidian blocks Dubois’ lariat with a jumping knee strike. Amasis avoids a splash, sending St. Jacques into Dubois. The Portal hit St. Jacques with a superkick/enzuigiri combo. The double bicycle kick Dubois out to the floor with St. Jacques. They hit stereo tope con hilo’s successfully. They look for something off the ropes but TDT yanks them back down. St. Jacques looks for an apron piledriver, but Ophidian backdrops him to the floor. Dubois gives Ophidian a uranage on the ring apron. Amasis musters the energy to give Dubois a tornado DDT on the floor. The two teams are so out of it, that they are both counted at 10:47.

Neither team is satisfied with the result, nor are the fans. Bryce Remsburg consults off screen with presumably Mike Quackenbush. Bryce checks with both teams to see if they want the match restarted. Both agree and a new match is on! TDT attack the Portal and pummel them on the mat as soon as the bell rings. St. Jacques shoulder tackles Amasis into a Liger Bomb from Dubois. Amasis kicks out, which TDT cannot believe. Ophidian throughs rapid fire overhand strikes. TDT cut him off with double shoulder blocks. Ophidian flips out of a double buckle bomb attempt. He quesadora armdrags Dubois into St. Jacques, then drives his knees into both of them. He headstands into a knee strike on Dubois, then hits Metora. Amasis follows up with a top rope double stomp. After all that Dubois still finds the energy to kick out. The Portal stack up St. Jacques on top. They look to bring him down with the Pyramid suplex. Dubois sneaks in and German suplexes them both! St. Jacques cradles Ophidian but only gets a two count. They set up Ophidian for another running shoulder block/Liger Bomb combo. Amasis low bridges the top rope which sends St. Jacques to the floor. Ophidian knee strikes his way out of Dubois’ grasp. Amasis assists Ophidian with the Egyptian Destroyer for the pin on Dubois in 4:29! It’s so rare for a team or person to make such an impact in CHIKARA in their debut like the TDT did, especially when you consider they weren’t even scheduled to be in the tournament in the first place. They had an incredibly convincing brawl with the Portal, looking like monsters and getting under the crowd’s skin in the process. The crowd was hot for any sign of life the Portal showed, and it made their win seem both well-earned and won by the skin of their teeth.. After a very tepid show, this picked up the energy in a big way and closed the show with a bang. What a wonderful surprise this was. ***¾

TDT show poor sportsmanship by attacking the Portal after the bell. They give Amasis a tandem Alabama Slam. All the referees come out to stop them, but they give Ophidian a tandem Alabama Slam onto Amasis. The officials send them packing after TDT does some posing. The Portal are worse for wear as they head into the semi-finals this evening.

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One Response to Phone Home

  1. Ryan Parkinson says:

    thanks for these reviews man, they’re awesome

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