Philadelphia, PA – 4.2.2016

Championship Rundown
Grand Champion: Princess Kimberlee
Campeones de Parejas: N_R_G (Race Jaxon & Hype Rockwell)
Young Lions Cup Champion: The Estonian Thunderfrog

Commentary is provided by Bryce Remsburg, Dasher Hatfield, and Mike Quackenbush.

Tag World Grand Prix Semi-Final Round Match
Fire Ant {C} & Worker Ant {C} vs. El Hijo del Ice Cream {IC} & Ice Cream Jr. {IC}

Hijo is unable to move Worker Ant with a running shoulder block. He does however send Worker Ant to the stage with a running hip attack. Fire Ant hops in. Hijo jumps off the ropes for an armdrag but Fire Ant counters mid-air with one of his own. He puts on a modified courting hold to keep the arm barred. Hijo slides to the floor after being shot off. Jr. kicks Fire Ant upon coming into the ring. Some Lucha rolls lead to Jr. Hot Shotting Fire Ant across the top rope. Fire Ant sends Los Ice Creams into one another. He headscissors Jr. and avoids a senton from Hijo. Fire Ant uses his feet to stop Hijo’s corner attacks. He repeats his headscissors and senton avoidance, then rolls outside to bring in Worker Ant. Worker Ant goes up and over Jr., baiting him into a flying headscissors from Fire Ant. Both Fire Ant and Hijo misses their senton attempts. Jr. tosses Fire Ant into a powerbomb from Hijo. Hijo finally hits the senton splash for two. Los Ice Creams use their tandem offense to keep Fire Ant away from Worker Ant. Eventually, Fire Ant fights them off and lands a high crossbody on Hijo before rolling to the floor. Worker Ant fights of Los Ice Creams. He calls for the GTS on Jr. Hijo slaps him in the face to stop. Los Ice Creams give him El Asesino, but Fire Ant breaks up the pin. Fire Ant is tossed back outside. Hijo stomps on Worker Ant’s stomach. Jr. gives him a suplex. Los Ice Creams want a tandem suplex, but Worker Ant suplexes them both simultaneously. Jr. tackles Worker Ant to stop his tag attempt. Hijo yakuza kicks Worker Ant. Worker Ant comes back with a running crossbody. Fire Ant immediately comes in with a Yahtzee Kick and brainbuster for the pin at 11:35. There were some moments in the match in which there was obvious miscommunication, which was jarring mostly because that so rarely happens with these teams. Thankfully, the bulk of the match was good. I especially liked them teasing the same finish in which Los Ice Creams won in the previous round. **½

Tag World Grand Prix Semi-Final Round Match
Amasis {OP} & Ophidian {OP} vs. Blaster McMassive {DC} & Flex Rumblecrunch {DC}

The Portal are still in rough shape after their wild brawl with TDT earlier in the day. They duck the Dev Corp’s attack and low bridge them to the floor. They go for suicide dives but get caught. Rumblecrunch slams Ophidian on the ring apron and McMassive suplexes Amasis onto the floor. The Dev Corp bully the weakened Amasis in the ring while Ophidian recovers. Amasis is able to fight from the corner, but McMassive yanks Ophidian off the apron to prevent a tag. Amasis however suicide dives onto McMassive. Ophidian drops Rumblecrunch with double knees, then drives his knees into Rumblecrunch’s chest twice in the corner. Ophidian hits Meteora. Amasis comes off the top with a double stomp for two. Amasis helps Ophidian with an Egyptian Destroyer on Rumblecrunch. McMassive distracts referee Troy Nelson for long enough that Rumblecrunch kicks out when Nelson gets around to making the cover. McMassive nails Ophidian with Lariat Tubman and knocks Amasis off the apron. The Dev Corp beat down Ophidian for awhile. In the process McMassive inadvertently boots Ophidian to the floor. Amasis high crossbody’s Rumblecrunch before rolling him up for a two count. Amsis fights off the Dev Corp on his own. McMassive cracks him in the face with the cast on his hand behind the referee’s back. The Master Blaster gets the Dev Corp the win at 9:06. This accomplished what it needed to, with the Dev Corp cheating their way into the finals over the beaten down, valiant heroes, who have the built in “excuse” for their loss. This was fun while it lasted, but I don’t know if two beat down segments was necessary. **¾

The Estonian Thunderfrog says he did not see any ants when he lived on a cold farm. He will not underestimate Arctic Rescue Ant and will crush him with all the power of the Gods.

Young Lions Cup
The Estonian Thunderfrog vs. Arctic Rescue Ant

The Estonian Thunderfrog has been champion since 2.6.2016 and this is his second defense. They each throw kicks to one another’s left leg. Arctic uses a handshake to bait Thunderfrog into a Magistral cradle for two. Thunderfrog and Arctic slug away with rapid fire kicks to the legs. Thunderfrog wins the exchange, booting Arctic to the corner. They both throw shots at each other’s mid-section. Thunderfrog baits him into a roll-up. Arctic punches his way out of a powerbomb position. He comes off the middle rope with a crossbody. Thunderfrog catches him with the Estonian Stampede, but Arctic counters with a tornado DDT before the slam for two. Arctic is placed on the apron. He gets in some forearms, but a hard forearm from Thunderfrog knocks him to the floor. Thunderfrog looks to follow with a double axe handle, but Arctic dropkicks him in mid-air! Arctic uses the ropes to pull off a headscissors. He charges at the Thunderfrog. Thunderfrog catches him and gives him the Estonian Stampede on the floor! Back in the ring he gives Arctic a Gourd Buster. He goes for the Froggysplash. He notices Arctic moving, so he rolls down off the top and forearms Arctic in the corner. Arctic drives his knees into Thunderfrog’s back and gives him a facebuster for two. He goes for another facebuster. Thunderfrog flips out of it and gives Arctic a Blue Thunder Bomb for the win at 7:16. This felt brief, but they kept a good pace and had some really nice looking power moves, so I ultimately didn’t mind that this was truncated. **¾

Before the next match we see The Snow Troll crawling around ringside with a sign that says “Did You Forget?” around his neck.

Obariyon {B}, Kodama {B}, Kobald {B} & Oleg the Usurper vs. Hallowicked, Frightmare, Lucas Calhoun {BB} & Missile Assault Man {BB}

UltraMantis Black is in the Batiri and Oleg’s corner. Missile yells his own name while on offense against Obariyon. Obariyon drop toe holds him into a front facelock. Missile backs Obariyon to the corner and unloads with uppercuts. Obariyon kicks him away. He comes out with a swinging headscissors and alita’s Missile into a tornado clutch for two. Obariyon headscissors Missile and knee strikes him in the corner. Kodama and Obariyon hit him with an atomic drop/knee strike combo and clothesline him to the floor. Kodama slingshots Frightmare into the ring. They trade armdrags. Kodama takes Frightmare over with a bodyscissors and dropkicks him outside. Kobald gets a pair of pin attempts on Calhoun. Calhoun uses a karate chop to slow Kobald down. Kobald scores another nearfall after a headscissors. He feeds Calhoun to Oleg for a backbreaker, which Kobald adds a seated splash to. They clothesline Calhoun outside and bring in Hallowicked. Oleg drives Hallowicked head into the top turnbuckle repeatedly. After booting one another in the face, Oleg drives Hallowicked face first into his knee and clotheslines him to the floor. The Batiri and Oleg bring in Battleborn and Hallowicked from the apron, then clothesline them all out. Hallowicked drags Oleg out. Kobald looks to dive but Frightmare cuts him off with a knee strike. The Nightmare Warriors and Battleborn decide to isolate Kobald in their corner. Kobald escapes by giving Frightmare the Acid Drop and a Cactus clothesline. The other members of the Batiri fight Missile. Calhoun helps distract Obariyon so that Missile can yank him off the middle rope and cause the back of his head to collide with the top turnbuckle. The Nightmare Warriors pummel on him When Battleborn try to assist, Calhoun chops Missile. Obariyon knee strikes Calhoun in the face and dropkicks the Nightmare Warriors off the apron. Frightmare drags Obariyon out. Kobald and Kodama get dragged out when they set up for dives. Oleg picks up more speed off the ropes. Missile grabs his leg. Frightmare looks to attack, but Oleg backdrops him onto everybody on the floor. Kobald uses Mantis in his wheelchair as a battering ram to wipe out Calhoun! In the ring, Oleg splashes Missile against the ropes. He hits Off With His Head. Frightmare dropkicks and yakuza kicks Oleg. Kobald fights out of the Here It Is Driver and gives Frightmare a Michinoku Driver for two. Calhoun drops Kobald with the Rikishi Driver. The Batiri hit Calhoun with Redrum. Hallowicked yakuza kicks Obariyon and gives Kodama a step-up enzuigiri. He and Frightmare give Kodama the Headless Horsemen. Kobald breaks the pin. Kobald fights both of them off with forearm strikes, but is then tossed by Hallowicked into a Go 2 Sleepy Hollow from Frightmare. Frightmare strings a double stomp and Kneecolespy together to pin Kobald at 17:26. So it looks as if the Nightmare Warriors have the Batiri’s number (Kobald specifically), which given what comes next looks to be manifesting into a larger story. The ending segment was fun, but the beginning and middle of the match were fairly tedious. **¾

With the Batiri and Oleg now backstage, Hallowicked and Frightmare ambush Mantis in his wheelchair and bring him into the ring. Hallowicked pulls out the Eye of Tyr and uses it on him! Mantis begins to grunt with some vim and vigor in his voice. While he sits on the mat, he invites Hallowicked and Frightmare to participate in their usual post-match seance. Afterwards, Mantis tells Hallowicked and Frightmare to return him home. They put Mantis in his wheelchair and wheel him away.

“Mr. Touchdown” Mark Angelosetti says life is about choices .He says Juan Francisco de Coronado has made some garbage choices by getting involved in his matches, framing him as a cheater. He says if Coronado interferes tonight, he will get himself disqualified by attacking Coronado, making sure he pays for his choices.

Shynron vs. Mark Angelosetti {T}

This is a rematch from “Colony Collapse.” Angelosetti grounds Shynron in a waistlock. He keeps hold as Shynron rolls, but Shynron eventually gets free. Angelosetti tries grounding Shynron in a double knuckle luck. After getting his shoulders up, Shynron rolls up Angelosetti. From a wheelbarrow position he brings down Angelosetti in a headlock. Angelosetti reverses, but Shynron grabs a headscissors. Angelosetti escapes. They cartwheel away from one another and reach a stalemate. Shynron nips right back up when Angelosetti shoulder blocks him down. Angelosetti slams Shynron and gives him multiple splashes. Shynron gets his knees up to block a running splash. Shynron sweeps out Angelosetti’s legs and hits a corkscrew senton for two. He comes off the top rope with a swinging headscissors. Angelosetti bandera’s him to the apron and brings him across the ring with a vertical suplex into the corner! He lands his big splash for two. Shynron gets in some kicks from the apron, but when he charges, Angelosetti shuts him down with an Overbomb. Shynron sneaks in a bodyscissors and rolls Angelosetti to his shoulders for two. After a basement enzuigiri he goes to the apron. He slingshots in with a headscissors, sending Angelosetti outside. Shynron follows with a kickflip, tumbleweed senton. Back inside, Shynron tries another slingshot maneuver. Angelosetti catches Shynron and hangs him up in a tree of woe. After some shoulder blocks, he backflips to prepare for a running shoulder block and accidentally knocks down referee Troy Nelson! While Angelosetti is checking on Nelson, Shynron hits Angelosetti with the Dragon Twist. He lands a 450 splash off the middle rope, but there’s no referee to count. Shynron goes for a back handspring move but Angelosetti spears him on the rebound. Shynron avoids a corner spear. Angelosetti swats away some of Shynron’s kicks, but takes a Pele kick as he sits on the top turnbuckle. Angelosetti catches Shynron on his shoulders and brings him down with a super Ace Crusher! He makes the cover. Referee Troy Nelson calls for the bell at 11:12, disqualifying Angelosetti for knocking down, awarding the match to Shynron. Angelosetti leaves, visibly upset with the decision. This was a really excellent match, with some fun counter wrestling and impressive offense from both guys. The top rope Ace Crusher from Angelosetti was especially awesome, and it’s a shame we got the false DQ finish instead of an actual pinfall. I get that they’re telling a story with Angelosetti, but given how hard they worked I wish we could have had a clean ending here. ***

Worker Ant says nothing can keep the Colony apart. No matter the trials and tribulations they have faced, they always come back together. That’s because they are more than just a group; they’re a family. He wonders if the same can be said about the Devastation Corporation, who have recently lost their shot caller (Max Smashmaster) and manager (Sidney Bakabella). Worker Ant says the Colony will not be leaving the ring until they get the job done.

2016 Tag World Grand Prix Final Round Match
Fire Ant {C} & Worker Ant {C} vs. Blaster McMassive {DC} & Flex Rumblecrunch {DC}

Fire Ant is holding his ribs as he comes out. The Dev Corp attack the Colony before the bell, including McMassive cracking Worker Ant in the face with his cast. The Dev Corp demand Bryce Remsburg to ring the bell. He checks on the Colony, and at Fire Ant’s behest, the match officially begins. He immediately runs into McMassive’s Boss Man Slam for two. Rumblecrunch gets in some shots before sending Fire Ant into McMassive’s boot. Fire Ant’s chops do very little to McMassive. McMassive chokes him with his boot. Rumblecrunch admonishes Fire Ant for having nobody to tag out to. Fire Ant kicks at his left leg from the apron. Rumblecrunch fights him off and pummels Fire Ant in his corner with McMassive. Rumblecrunch antagonizes the fans who are cheering for Fire Ant. Fire Ant throws rapid fire chops and palm strikes to the Dev Corp’s chest. He manages to take both of them over with a headscissors. Fire Ant takes down Rumblecrunch with a knee strike to the face and the Yahtzee Kick. He ducks Lariat Tubmaan and spikes McMassive with a tornado DDT. He tope con hilo’s onto Rumblecrunch. Worker Ant is on the apron but still in no condition to come in as the legal man. McMassive knocks him off. Rumblecrunch distracts Bryce so that McMassive can nail Fire Ant in the ribs with his cast. With Worker Ant knocked off the apron, Dev Corp are free to continue their onslaught of Fire Ant, working over Fire Ant’s mid-section. Fire Ant is able to low bridge the top rope to send McMassive out to the floor. Rumblecrunch grabs his leg, but Fire Ant kicks him in the chest repeatedly until he also goes to the floor. Worker Ant finally tags in, throwing forearms before bodyslamming both Rumblecrunch and McMassive separately. He places Rumblecrunch on the top turnbuckle and brings him down with a superplex. McMassive breaks the pin. He hits the Boss Man Slam for two. McMassive signals that he’s going to use his cast. Bryce gets in his face, allowing Rumblecrunch to give Worker Ant a low blow. Worker Ant rolls to the floor. Rumblecrunch follows him with a splash off the top turnbuckle. Fire Ant comes in looking for a swinging Frankensteiner on McMassive. McMassive catches him with a Liger Bomb. Fire Ant fires up after the impact and nails another Yahtzee Kick! He gives McMassive a brainbuster for two. Rumblecrunch misses a top rope shoulder block on Fire Ant. Rumblecrunch’s shoulder was hurt in the process. While Bryce checks on him, McMassive hits Fire Ant in the head with his cast. He angrily deposits Fire Ant with a Liger Bomb for the pin at 16:26. This was very well laid out, with the Colony looking as if they had absolutely no chance to win, fighting back with everything they had, but it ultimately not being enough for the Dev Corps dirty tactics. In a way it was similar to the Dev Corp’s first match with the Portal, but with higher stakes and stronger opponents. The Dev Corp come out of this looking as dangerous as ever on their quest to recapture Los Campeonatos de Parejas. By no means was this the best Tag World ever, but they told a good story throughout and built to a title match that I am very much interested in, and that’s what is most important at the end of the day. ***¼

Encore Match
Dasher Hatfield {T} vs. Pinkie Sanchez {BDK}

Sanchez tries to sneak in a splash while Bryce is checking on Hatfield. Hatfield moves both himself and Bryce causing Sanchez to crash in the corner. Hatfield throws many shots at his stomach and chest. Sanchez whips him into another corner. He comes off the ropes and Hatfield tosses him in an exploder suplex. He looks to charge but Sanchez stops him with a boot, The Shiney Hiney gets him a two count. He snapmares Hatfield and tries a hip attack. Hatfield instead schoolboys him for two. Sanchez comes back with a sole butt kick and the Rude Awakening. Sanchez gives him a tornado DDT for two. Hatfield’s Cyclone neckbreaker leads to a folding press and his own two count. Sanchez enzuigiri’s Hatfield as Hatfield brings him to his feet. Sanchez wants Snake’s Revenge. Hatfield however backs him to the corner and places him on the top turnbuckle. He counters whatever Hatfield was looking for with Snake’s Revenge on the top turnbuckle! Despite being dazed, Hatfield catches Sanchez Frankensteiner attempt and gives him a running Liger Bomb for two. Hatfield and Sanchez trade forearm strikes, ending with two superkicks and a sole but kick from Sanchez. Hatfield catches Sanchez’s spinwheel kick attempt. He muscles Sanchez into the Jackhammer for the pin at 5:11. That was the best competitive match two guys could have in five minutes. **¼


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