Dead Man’s Chest

DMC-500

Bronx, NY – 2.27.2016

Championship Rundown
Grand Champion: Princess Kimberlee
Campeones de Parejas: N_R_G (Race Jaxon & Hype Rockwell)
Young Lions Cup Champion: The Estonian Thunderfrog

Commentary is provided by Mike Quackenbush, Bryce Remsburg,

Shynron vs. Jaka {BDK}

Jakob Hammermeier is in Jaka’s corner. They feel each other out on the mat with nobody getting a clear advantage. Shynron uses his agility to bait Jaka into a drop toe hold. He tries for a sleeper hold of sorts but Jaka gets his foot on the bottom rope before it’s fully applied. Jaka takes a respite on the floor. Shynron trips Jaka into a side headlock. Jaka shoots Shynron to the ropes and shoulder blocks him down. Shynron sweeps out Jaka’s legs and hits a shooting star press for two. Jaka takes to the floor but comes back in before Shynron can dive. Shynron takes him down with the Leaning Tower of Shynron. Jaka avoids a back handspring Ace Crusher and gives Shynron a release German suplex for two. Jaka gives Shynron some stomps before giving him various strikes and chops. He lands a big corner splash for two. Jaka applies a bodyscissors. Shynron escapes, so Jaka gives him a vertical suplex and legdrop for two. He reapplies the bodyscissors and Shynron gets the ropes. Shynron throws his own strikes to Jaka’s stomach and chest. Jaka cuts him off with a boot to the stomach and gives Shynron a belly-to-back suplex. Shynron escapes the Jumanji Bomb but Jaka cuts him off with a shoulder block and Muta elbow for two. Jaka grabs a nerve hold. Shynron blocks some kicks. They boot each other in the chest at the same time. Shynron gets in an uppercut, but Jaka turns him inside out with a clothesline. Shynron avoids the Superfly Splash. He back handsprings into a lariat to take Jaka off of his feet. He comes in from the apron with a slingshot neckbreaker. Jaka again takes to the floor but Shynron follows with a pescado. Hammermeier grabs Shynron’s leg as he ascends the ropes. Shynron kicks him away, but when he dives off, Jaka nails him with a headbutt in the chest, giving him the win at 11:45. I liked the story of the match a lot, as it got over Jaka’s strikes and Shynron’s resilience and agility. Their dichotomic styles gelled together seamlessly and the crowd dug it. I think it was important to make Jaka look strong now that he’s not in the Wrecking Crew’s shadow and under the tutelage of Jakob, and this match did just that. The wrestling trivia Quackenbush and Bryce discussed on commentary re: licenses, ring size, etc. was also really interesting. Two years ago they had a match in Wrestling is Fun in which I stated I would like a rematch in CHIKARA so they would have a bigger platform and a chance to do better: they did exactly that. **¾

Pinkie Sanchez {BDK} vs. Syd Gilmour

Sanchez teases a double knuckle-lock, but instead catches Gilmour off guard with an enzuigiri. A spinwheel kick and vertical suplex into an elbow drop follow. Gilmour goes for a sunset flip. Sanchez fights it off and delivers a double stomp. Sanchez brings down Gilmour with a cradle into a DDT of sorts. Snake’s Revenge dazes Gilmour. Gilmour stops a corner attack by getting his boots up. Sanches crotches Gilmour, getting him in a tree of woe. Bootiez 4 Breakfast gets Sanchez the win at 2:49. Sanchez has been one of my favorites to watch in CHIKARA so far this season, and this glorified squash was another in his list of super fun contests. *

Flex Rumblecrunch says that the Devastation Corporation start fresh tonight. The other three teams in the elimination match tonight don’t stand a chance. They are going to unleash beatings onto everybody in the locker room starting now.

Dasher Hatfield {T} & Heidi Lovelace vs. El Hijo del Ice Cream {IC} & Ice Cream Jr. {IC} vs. Blaster McMassive {DC} & Flex Rumblecrunch {DC} vs. Hermit Crab & Rock Lobster

Max Smashmaster, with a crutch in hand, is in the Devastation Corporation’s corner. Hatfield and Crab trade control on the canvas. Crab grabs a nerve hold with his pincer. Hijo pinches Crab in the buttocks to save Hatfield. Hatfield slaps Crab on the buttocks before giving him a deep armdrag and sends him out with a double knuckle drag. Lobster pummels Hatfield to the ground with forearms to the back. Hatfield uses a neckmare to send Lobster into a penalty kick from Lovelace. Lobster chokes her on the bottom rope. The crustacean tandem take turns beating down Lovelace. The Dev Corp decide not to assist in their isolation tactic. The crustaceans pull out some impressive tandem offense during this period, but Hatfield saves her from a pin. Jr. clubs Crab on the shoulders. Lobster sends Crab outside and throws headbutts to Jr., leading him and Lobster to isolate Jr. from his partner. Jr. gets his feet up to block a diving headbutt from Lobster. Los Ice Creams double team Crab, putting him away with El Asesino in 7:43, eliminating the crustacean duumvirate. The Dev Corp jump in. Rumblecrunch kicks Jr. to the floor while McMassive roughs up Hijo. Hijo unfortunately finds himself bullied by the Dev Crop as his partner recovers. They decide to switch between beating down Los Ice Creams with some illegal assistance from Smashmaster as well. Hijo makes it so Rumblecrunch and McMassive collide into one another. He tags in Jr. who immediately is shut down by McMassive’s Bossman Slam for the pin and elimination of Los Ice Creams at 12:31. Hatfield unloads jabs to McMassive’s stomach. An underhand chop and dropkick put him down in the corner. Hatfield baseball slides in and looks for the Jackhammer. Rumblecrunch kicks out Hatfield’s leg and McMassive lands on him in a lateral press for two. The Dev Corp focus their attack on Hatfield’s knee which Rumblecrunch kicked out previously. Hatfield slides right underneath a big boot from McMassive, giving him the chance to tag in Lovelace. She gets in some shots on McMassive. She ducks Rumblecrunch’s boot and he hits McMassive. He stacks Rumblecrunch on top of McMassive in the corner with a Yoshi Tonic! Lovelace comes off the top with a crossbody onto Rumblecrunch outside the ring. McMassive attacks Hatfield on the apron. McMassive distracts the referee so that Smashmaster can crack Hatfield in the back with a crutch! Lovelace throws multiple kicks to Smashmaster from the apron. In the ring Lovelace tries a huracanrana on McMassive, then converting into a sunset flip for a very close nearfall. Lovelace finds herself up in a double powerbomb and gets pinned by Rumblecrunch at 19:25, eliminating her and Hatfield and giving the Dev Corp the win. I like that they’re giving Rumblecrunch more of the spotlight, as at times he’s felt like an afterthought in the Dev Corp. I also appreciate that Crab and Lobster had a moment to showcase themselves before taking care of the main story of the Dev Corp’s beef with the other two teams. From a story perspective this was orchestrated very well, and the Dev Corp look stronger than ever without entirely throwing away the cheater’s handbook. ***

The Estonian Thunderfrog says he and the “dirty black pig” may be destined to fight forever, but tonight, the God’s run through his blood, and he will end the Boar with his hammer.

Young Lions Cup
The Estonian Thunderfrog vs. The Proletariat Boar of Moldova {BP}

The Estonian Thunderfrog has been champion since 2.6.2016 and this is his first defense. As soon as Boar enters, Thunderfrog tackles him. Boar grabs a mount and lands some punches. Back on their feet he drives his shoulder into the Thunderfrog in the corner. Boar knees him in the stomach and rakes his eyes across the top rope. Thunderfrog gets in some forearm strikes but Boar takes him down with a big boot. Thunderfrog avoids a corner attack. He hits Boar with a flying forearm and a cannonball senton in the corner. Boar rolls out to avoid the Froggy Splash. Thunderfrog follows him with a double axe handle from the top turnbuckle. Boar comes back by sending Thunderfrog head first into a ring post. Boar then gives him a Gore! Thunderfrog makes it to the apron, but Gore from inside the ring boots him into the guardrails. In the ring Boar hits a yakuza kick. He sets up Thunderfrog on the middle rope and drives his knees into Thunderfrog’s chest, getting a two count with a crucifix pin. Thunderfrog leans against the ropes as Boar kicks him two more times in the head. Thunderfrog looks to fight but falls to his knees. Thunderfrog ducks another boot and schoolboys Boar for two. Boar gives him the Fame-Asser for two. He drops a leaping elbow after a suplex. When that gets a two count, he delivers another leaping elbow for two. He tries a third but Thunderfrog grabs a Kimura Lock. Boar drives Thunderfrog back first into the corner. He escapes, but the Boar misses a boot and Thunderfrog gives him a Blue Thunder Bomb for two. Thunderfrog heads to the top. Boar brings him down with a belly-to-belly superplex. Both men trade blows on their knees as they come to. Boar digs his thumbs into Thunderfrog’s eyes. Thunderfrog is sent to the corner. He bandera’s to the apron and hits a forearm strike. He takes down Boar with a Thesz Press and delivers more forearm strikes. Thunderfrog looks for a slam. Boar reverses, setting up for a Stampede. Thunderfrog reverses back and finishes with a powerslam for two. Boar hits the Baconator for two. Boar sits Thunderfrog on the top turnbuckle. Thunderfrog fights him off and shoves him down. Thunderfrog looks for a double axe handle, but in mid-air Boar hits the Gore! Somehow the Thunderfrog finds the strength to kick out. Once again he puts Thunderfrog on the top turnbuckle. Thunderfrog drops Boar down in a modified Gourd Buster. He hits the Froggy Splash for the pin at 15:13. I figured this would be good, but this exceeded my expectations. Like the opening match, this was a good story that made both competitors look strong. the crowd really bought into the big nearfalls and they paid off Thunderfrog’s persistence with the Froggy Splash as the finishing move. It’s easily the best singles match either man has had in their relatively short careers. ***½

Kobald says the Batiri has been back on track since he returned. Oleg corrects him by saying that the Arcane Horde is back on track. Oleg knows Kobald doesn’t trust him, but he vows to not do wrong by him. Obariyon and Kodama vouch for Oleg. Kobald says they’re solid as a rock, and holds up a rock to symbolize this, but won’t allow Oleg to touch it.

Amasis {OP}, Fire Ant {C}, Worker Ant {C} & Officer Warren Barksdale vs. Obariyon {B}, Kodama {B}, Kobald {B} & Oleg the Usurper

UltraMantis Black is in The Batiri & Oleg’s corner. Kodama brings down Worker Ant in a side headlock. Worker Ant turns it into a headscissors which Kodama pops out of. A Lucha exchange leads to Kodama sending Worker Ant to the corner with a quesadora armdrag. He tries a tricep drag but Worker Ant Beele’s Kodama across the ring. Kodama sends Worker Ant out with a Frankensteiner from the mat and dropkicks him off the ring apron. Worker Ant gives Kodama a bicycle kick on the floor. Obariyon and Fire Ant pick up the pace. Obariyon takes Fire Ant over with his own Frankensteiner. A Lucha sequence leads to an alita from Fire Ant off the second ropes and a toreador into a fireman’s carry. He puts on an Octopus Stretch. Obariyon lands on his feet out of a headscissors and puts on his own Octopus Stretch variant. Obariyon catapults up into a sunset flip for two. Barksdale tags himself in and Oleg enters the ring. Oleg powers him to the corner. Barksdale switches around. He pats down Oleg and pulls a sword out of his back pocket! Barksdale sends him back to the apron as he reads him his rights. Kobald sneaks in a roll-up on Barksdale for two. He spears Barksdale in the corner twice before delivering some buttocks-based offense. Barksdale comes back with a spinebuster and monkey flip. Oleg tosses him out of the ring. Amasis stops a chokeslam with a forearm strike. Oleg looks for Off With His Head but Amasis quickly slips to the floor. Worker Ant and Oleg engage in a forearm strike battle. Oleg ends it with the Usurper Kick. He picks up more speed by running the ropes, which Barksdale gives him a speeding ticket for. Oleg eats the ticket in protest. As Barksdale is admonishing Oleg, Kobald attacks him from behind and hits a Michinoku Driver. A running elbow drop gets him two. He misses a spear in the corner. Barksdale strings a knee to the stomach and a leaping back elbow together. A big splash pin is broken up by Obariyon and Kodama. They clear the apron of Barksdale’s partners and double suplex him. They try a double suplex on Worker Ant, but Worker Ant reverses and suplexes them both at the same time. Obariyon knee strikes Worker Ant into a springback Ace Crusher from Kodama. Amasis fights them off, but falls to an atomic drop/knee strike combo. Fire Ant lands a high crossbody on them both. He spikes Obariyon with a tilt-a-whirl DDT. He enzuigiri’s Kodama and gives him a brainbuster. Kobald spears Fire Ant to cut off Fire Ant’s dive. Oleg hits Off With His Head on Fire Ant. Fire Ant rolls to the floor to avoid a pin. Amasis unloads quick strikes on Oleg but Oleg splashes him against the ropes. Amasis sends Oleg out with a 540 kick. Kobald takes a sole butt and Pele kick from Amasis. Amasis tope con hilo’s onto Obariyon, Kodama, and Oleg. Kobald avoids a corner attack from Barksdale, sending Barksdale crotch first into the middle rope. Kobald maneuvers up to the top rope and hits the Demon’s Toilet for the pin at 17:08. This was another in a long line of fun Atomicos matches. The action was good and people liked Barksdale’s cop shtick. It also kept the Batiri’s momentum going. As the rookie, Barksdale making an error and being pinned because of it is a nice, logical conclusion. Fun match. ***¼

Jakob Hammermeier says he has found his perfect minion in Jaka. His unkempt fingernails leave disease upon clawed flesh, his calloused feet will break skulls, and his skull is twice as hard as the streets of the Bronx. He says Eddie Kingston may be the baddest man in all the land, but he can only go toe-to-toe with Jaka. Jakob wants to know what Kingston will do when he leaves the mark of his knockout punch on his jaw. Jakob proclaims a new king will be crowned tonight.

Jakob Hammermeier comes out for his match with Eddie Kingston, accompanied by Jaka and Pinkie Sanchez. Before Kingston can get in the ring, Sanchez suicide dives onto him. Kingston fights off Sanchez with chops. Jaka sneaks in from behind. Sanchez stomps Kingston into a DDT from Jaka onto the floor. Jaka and Sanchez send him back into the ring. Referee Larry Peace checks to make sure Kingston is good to go before ringing the bell.

Eddie Kingston vs. Jakob Hammermeier {BDK}

Hammermeier cracks Kingston with the Worldstar Punch and pins him in 0:09. Hammermeier and the rest of the BDK celebrate like this is a huge win. Hammermeier proclaims himself the new King on his way out.

Grand Championship
Princess Kimberlee vs. Soldier Ant {C}

Princess Kimberlee has been champion since 12.5.2015 and this is her second defense. Kimberlee impressively muscles Soldier Ant to the corner. She tries to do it again, but Soldier Ant throws her to the canvas in a waistlock. She grabs a side headlock which Soldier Ant turns into a headscissors. Kimberlee grabs the ropes. She gives Soldier Ant a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. They fight for a wristlock with both of them utilizing armdrags during the process. Kimberlee gets a couple nearfalls, impressing the crowd and Soldier Ant. She digs her knee into Soldier Ant’s back while choking him with his own arm. Soldier Ant gets his way to the apron to break the hold. He slingshots in with a sunset flip. Kimberlee tries turning it into an Alligator Clutch but Soldier Ant crawls away to evade it. Soldier Ant ties up her legs and stretches her in a modified bow and arrow. Kimberlee escapes but he puts on the Cross Military Kneebar. Kimberlee grabs the ropes. He Judo throws her down for a one count. They go to the apron where Soldier Ant backdrops Kimberlee back into the ring for a two count. Kimberlee armdrags Soldier Ant to the floor and follows with a somersault senton off the apron. In the ring she puts on a full nelson with her legs while grabbing a double wristlock. Soldier Ant back bridges to push her shoulders to the mat. Kimberlee turns him over into a Gedo Clutch twice. Once again Soldier Ant leans back for a pin. Kimberlee grabs the ropes and releases the hold, but then reapplies it. Soldier Ant moves her legs to his waist and leans back again. Although Kimberlee kicks out, Soldier Ant right away puts on the Cross Military Kneebar. Kimberlee crawls her way to the ropes to escape. Back to the apron Soldier Ant goes, but this time Kimberlee suplexes him back into the ring for two. She outstretches Soldier Ant’s arms while digging her knee into his back. Soldier Ant gets to his feet and backs Kimberlee to the corner. He places her on the top turnbuckle, looking for a superplex. Kimberlee moves Soldier Ant around, switching positions, and pulls off her own avalanche superplex. Soldier Ant kicks out in the nick of time. Soldier Ant goes to the apron, and Kimberlee drags him in by his face. She goes for a crossbody. Soldier Ant catches her, but his back gives out, and she gets a two count with a lateral press. Wasting no time, Kimberlee again digs her knee into Soldier Ant’s back. Soldier Ant spins her out into a powerslam, then gives her a brainbuster for two. Once more he locks on the Cross Military Kneebar. Kimberlee again gets the ropes. They switch waistlock positions. Kimberlee eventually gets a German suplex for two. Kimberlee goes to the top rope. Soldier Ant follows. Kimberlee brings him down with a powerbomb and folds him up in the Alligator Clutch for the pin at 16:15. This was similar in structure to the YLC match where both competitors had focus and it paid off for one of them in the end. Another similarity were the believable nearfalls and submissions. Kimberlee working over Soldier Ant’s back made sense and I really liked the small touches Soldier Ant threw in, such as not being able to keep Kimberlee up when catching her crossbody. These two had great chemistry overall. While it was important for Kimberlee to have a clean/decisive finish in her second defense, it also was important for the match to be quality, and this match checked off both of those boxes. ***½

Encore Match
Rick Beanbag vs. Wani

Rick Beanbag is the former Scoot Tatum who is the former Chuck Taylor. Wani attacks Beanbag right at the bell with a knee strike to the back, sending Beanbag to the floor. Wani throws him face and back first into the apron. In the ring Wani forearms him in the corner and gets two with a vertical suplex. Wani gets another two count with a fallaway slam. Beanbag sends Wani to the apron and dropkicks him to the floor. He follows with a pescado. In the ring Beanbag misses a top rope maneuver. Although he lands on his feet, Wani takes him down with a running STO for two. Beanbag hits him with the Brodie Knee. Wani ducks a clothesline and German suplexes Beanbag for two. Wani goes for his running swinging neckbreaker. Beanbag evades it and trades forearms with Wani. Wani stops the exchange with a Sole Butt kick. Beanbag powerslams Wani. He misses a moonsault and lands on his feet. Wani gives him a superkick. He hits the ropes but Beanbag gives him a pop-up sit-out powerbomb for the pin at 3:11. For three minutes they packed in a lot of action and had a really fun exhibition. *½

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