Allentown, PA – 5.25.2013
Hallowicked & Frightmare vs. Obariyon & Kodama
UltraMantis Black and Kobald are on commentary which is fun. Hallowicked sends Obariyon to the floor with a step-up Frankensteiner. Obariyon slips under the ring. He trips Hallowicked to the floor, distracting Frightmare and allowing him to be jumped from behind. Frightmare turns things around and dropkicks Kodama to the floor. Obariyon gets sent out as well. Frightmare dives out onto everyone. Back in the ring Hallowicked tosses Kodama into Frightmare’s Go 2 Sleepy Hollow. The Envoy follows up with the Sidewinder. Obariyon kicks Frightmare in the side of the head and gives Hallowicked a headscissors onto the floor. While Hallowicked is recovering, the Batiri beat Frightmare down. There’s a couple moments of Killer Bee switching going on to aid in their dominance. Hallowicked tries pulling that off which confuses The Batiri. They go with it, and end up getting faces full of feet. Kodama takes the Rydeen Bomb. Obariyon breaks the pin. Hallowicked eats some kicks in the corner but kicks out at two. Obariyon sets up for the Rapture. Hallowicked gives him a step-up enzuigiri while Frightmare drops Kodama with the Frightmare on Elm St. The Headless Horsemen gets the Envoy the win at 12:14. This was every match these two teams have ever had, which is a good thing. The Killer Bees spot was cute. **½
Darkness Crabtree vs. Orbit Adventure Ant
While Orbit is trying to get the crowd behind him, Crabtree steals his space helmet and brings it into the bathroom. It’s filled with toilet paper when he re-emerges, not making Orbit happy at all. Crabtree challenges him to a foot race to start the match proper. Crabtree trips Orbit as he comes off the ropes. Orbit carries him around into a slam. He misses a lionsault by a mile. Crabtree throws some punches. He tunes up the band for some sweet gut music. He walks over Orbit twice looking for the People’s Elbow. He of course takes long enough for Orbit to recover. He ducks a bunch of Crabtree’s clotheslines and hits the Rough Ryder for the pin at 3:34. Crabtree and Orbit were a really funny pair. This didn’t overstay it’s welcome and was really enjoyable. Not sure quite how to rate this, so I won’t.
Green Ant vs. Oleg The Usurper
This is a rematch from “There’s Always Money in the Banana Stand” where Oleg used his helmet to cheat and win the bout. Green Ant jumps Oleg and goes after his legs. He takes him to the floor and delivers a knee strike to the face. He then suicide dives onto him. Oleg clobbers him in the face with a Polish hammer as Green Ant gets onto the ring apron. He nails him the “Off with his Head” forearm to the side of the his head. He pushes him to the floor in the hopes of a count out victory. Green Ant makes his way back in before the twenty count. When Oleg goes to the top, Green Ant crotches him and brings him down with a superplex. After trading some blows, Oleg splashes Green Ant against the ropes. Green Ant comes back with a lariat. After a bicycle kick, Green Ant comes off the top with a splash for two. He can’t get Oleg up for a slam. He hits the ropes only to be caught with a chokeslam. Oleg hits a flip senton for two. He misses a splash in the corner. Green Ant nails a double jump senton onto Oleg’s leg. He then puts him in the Cloverleaf. Oleg submits at 9:42, putting their first L in his Wrestling is Fun career. That was an improvement over their first battle. Green Ant did a goob job focusing on the leg and Oleg was more serious and focused than usual. Maybe there’s hope for him after all. ***
Shane Storm, Jolly Roger & Lance Steel vs. Max Smashmaster, Blaster McMassive & Flex Rumblecrunch
All six men fight on the floor before the official start of the match. Storm holds up his STOP sign when the Corporation are all on the apron. Roger and Steel Joust them all to the floor leading to triple dives from the Tecnicos. Roger moonsaults onto everyone. The match officially begins with Storm and Steel double teaming Rumblecrunch. Roger double stomps him out of Storm and Steel’s arms. Steel and Roger take Smashmaster off his feet with stereo superkicks. Storm hits That Japanese Move and McMassive breaks the pin. McMassive takes some splashes in the corner. The Corporation boot all three of them down. Rumblecrunch walks the ropes and comes off with a shoulder block to Storm. McMassive gives Steel a Boss Man Slam. Roger tries fighting all three Corporation members off by himself. They put him down with a modified Death Blow at 3:15 (officially). That was so much fun. STIGMA reverting back to the Shane Storm persona is absolutely for the best. I like the chemistry these teams have and hope it’s not the last we will see of them together. **½
Blind Rage vs. Ophidian
Fists are flying as we kick the bout off. As Rage punches him in the corner, Ophidian brings him down with a powerbomb. The fight spills out to ringside with more punches being exchanged. Ophidian nails an enzuigiri upon re-entering the ring. He gives Rage an overhead belly-to-belly suplex for two. Rage stops his double knee attack. He gives Ophidian a back breaker. Ophidian misses an enzuigiri and gets dropped with a Complete Shot for two. Ophidian gets the Death Grip on. Rage drives him into the corner and gives him an inverted suplex. Ophidian decides to head backstage and bail on the match. However, he’s pushed back to ringside by UltraMantis Black! Rage brings him back in the ring. He heads to the top rope, only for Ophidian to spit red mist into his eyes! This prompts the disqualification at 9:15. There really wasn’t much going on story wise during the match, which I can’t fault because they knew a BS finish was coming. Rage looks good and can still hold his own. If he’s here to stay in Wrestling is Fun, I am all for it. Maybe we will get some extension of the Batiri/Envoy feud in this company as well. **¼
Dragon Dragon vs. Kobald
Kobald pummels Dragon with a plunger before the match. All it does is pump Dragon up Hogan style. He gives him a legdrop and a tail drop for two. He whips Kobald with his tail numerous times. Kobald drives his tail into the mat and starts beating on it. He rips off one of Dragon’s feet and hits him in the head with it! Kobald misses the Demon’s Toilet. Dragon gives him a dragonscrew leg whip and applies the Dragon Sleeper. Kobald taps at 3:35! I love me some Dragon Dragon so of course this was great. *
After the match, the mysterious Boar we’ve been seeing comes in and spears Dragon Dragon! Or as Leonard F. Chikarason says, “BOAR! BOAR! BOAR!” He hands a piece of paper to Gavin Loudspeaker. According to the paper, we have another bonus match on the show. We’re introduced to the Boar’s associate, Mr. Azerbaijan. He apparently won Azerbaijan’s Sexiest Guy award many many times.
Mr. Azerbaijan vs. Mike Sydal
Sydal tries catching Azerbaijan with a quick roll-up. He fails to do so, so he snaps off some armdrags. Azerbaijan drops Sydal stomach first onto the top rope. He gets two with a falling splash and a clothesline. Sydal hip tosses his way out of an abdominal stretch but is taken down with another clothesline. Sydal kicks at his legs, prompting Azerbaijan to stomp onto him and throw some fists to the face. He applies pressure to a waist lock. Sydal breaks free. He hits a moonsault block for two. He puts on a Muta Lock. Azerbaijan crawls to the ropes. After a kick to the head he goes for a standing moonsault. Azerbaijan gets his knees up to block. He rolls up Sydal and holds his tights for the pin at 8:16. Neither guy showed much personality at all and just went through the motions. Once we get some Boar and Azerbaijan action against the Baltic Siege I think we’ll really be going somewhere but this was not the best debut I’ve seen. *
The Estonian Thunderfrog, Latvian Proud Oak & Lithuanian Snow Troll vs. Juan Francisco de Coronado, El Hijo del Ice Cream & Ice Cream Jr.
Manservant Herbert is in Coronado’s corner. Hijo punches Oak’s behind and smacks him. Oak “roots” himself into the mat so that he remains steadfast from Hijo’s strikes. Oak knocks him down with a back elbow. He gives Hijo repeated hip tosses and a monkey flip. When Hijo goes for a monkey flip, Oak sticks his foot in his face. Hijo is puzzled when Oak bundles himself up on the mat. Jr. goes into a nearby office and comes out with a powerdrill. Thunderfrog pitches a fit and grabs his majestic hammer. Coronado sets everyone straight. He tries lifting Oak into a German suplex but gets caught in a prawn hold. Troll is tagged in. Oak slams Coronado onto his knees. Troll kicks out Jr’s knees and drives his own knee into Jr’s head. He and Thunderfrog hot shot Jr. onto the top rope and give him the Broken Arrow. Thunderfrog lifts up both Ice Creams in stereo bear hugs. Coronado comes in to break them free, but then everyone gets put in Bear Hug’s by the Baltic Siege. Coronado and the Ice creams are rammed together. Los Ice Creams double hip toss Oak into a dropkick from Coronado, turning the tide into the Rudos favor. While the Rudos are beating Oak down, the Troll drags Herbert under the ring and steals his sweater vest. He re-emerges without his pants and embarrassed. Los Ice Creams accidentally run into each other. Thunderfrog tags in. He side slams Los Ice Creams at the same time. Coronado breaks the pin. Oak drags Coronado to the floor. Hijo accidentally crotches himself in the corner. Thunderfrog hangs Jr. over him in a tree of woe. Oak stands above them with Coronado handing him over Los Ice Creams. One by one the Rudos are taken out of the corner. Los Ice Creams double flapjack Oak onto Coronado’s knees. Thunderfrog clears the ring of the Troll and Ice Creams with his mystical hammer. He goes for a frog splash but is thrown off the top by Coronado. He puts Thunderfrog in the Coronado Clutch. Coronado lets go of the hold to yell at Herbet. Oak and Troll shove Los Ice Creams into him. Oak and Thunderfrog swing Hijo off of their shoulders into an Ace Crusher from Troll. The Troll pins Hijo at 20:03. Between entrances and the match this whole thing went about 30 minutes. Admittedly, it was entertaining for almost the entire time but you could feel the crowd getting slightly restless. I like both trios a lot. I think Coronado teaming with Los Ice Creams is an interesting pair and makes for a nice dynamic. ***
WiF Banana “Championship” Match
Jaka (Champion) vs. Amasis
Jaka charges. Amasis rolls him up for two. Jaka rakes his back and throws a headbutt. Amasis throws a forearm. Jaka absorbs it and throws a hand into his throat. He rakes at Amasis’ face. Amasis throws some clotheslines that don’t faze Jaka at all. Jaka takes him down with a boot. He chokes Amasis in the corner after a short strike exchange. As Amasis dangles from the apron, Jaka kicks him in the side of the head. He kicks and strikes Amasis before bringing him back in. He does some damage to his lower back and bites his foot. Amasis avoids a corner attack and kicks Jaka in the head twice. He goes for a clothesline. Jaka ducks and delivers a German suplex for two. He also gets two with a spinebuster to block a rolling forearm. Jaka misses a top rope splash. Amasis comes off the second rope. Jaka catches him with a Rydeen Bomb, yet Amasis is able to kick out again. Amasis gamengiri’s Jaka from the apron. He comes in with a Dragonrana for the win and the title at 11:04! That’s very interesting that assailANT and Jaka both didn’t last one defense with the banana. I wonder if there is something to that. It’s a shame since they’re both so good and could have done something long term, but Amasis is also quite great. Maybe he will be the one to add some stability to the potassium. These two told a great story and the match flew by, but it seemed no one really bothered to make noise for it. ***