Wrestling is Fun!: There’s Always Money in the Banana Stand

bananastand

Allentown, PA – 4.28.2013

Hallowicked & Frightmare vs. El Hijo del Ice Cream & Ice Cream Jr.

Hallowicked twists up Hijo’s arm, as does Frightmare. Hijo claws at Hallowicked’s face before tagging in Jr. Jr. misses an attack and hurts his own hermano. Hijo gets frighteneed by Frightmare’s scare tactics. Hallowicked clotheslines him and Jr. simulteaneously. Once again Frightmare scares Hijo. Hallowicked gives him an atomic drop. Frightmare back elbows him for two. Once again Jr. accidentally double axe handles Hijo. Hijo hides in the crowd when both Envoy members scare him. Frightmare misses a corner yakuza kick. Jr. holds him so Hijo can give him his own boot. Los Ice Creams spend a bit of time double teaming Frightmare. Frightmare is able to get Hijo to boot Jr., then give Hijo a step-up Frankensteiner, in order to tag in Hallowicked. He fights off both Ice Creams even sending Jr. into Hijo with a dropkick. He goes for a super snapmare on Hijo. Jr. kicks him to stop it, but then receives the move himself. He hits him with a Swanton Bomb afterwards. He super snapmares Hijo onto Jr. He gives Jr. a step-up enzuigiri. Frightmare capitalizes with the Frightmare on Elm St. for the pin at 12:54. This was all over the place but fun for the most part. Exactly what you would expect. **½

UltraMantis Black vs. Juan Francisco de Coronado

Mantis chops up Coronado in the corner. He tornado rolls him across the ring. Coronado leapfrogs over Mantis but gets dropped with a DDT. Mantis gets two with a Senton. Manservant Herbert snaps his arm over the top rope. Coronado brings him to the mat in an armbar. He throws Mantis head first into the canvas. He goes for a German suplex but Mantis rolls forward to block it. He goes for the Praying Mantis Bomb. Coronado slides out. Herbert chokes Mantis on the middle rope right in front of referee Dan Yost. Yost calls for the bell, disqualifying Coronado at 6:17. This was going along decently until the finish. I actually thought this had a lot of promise to be something really good and then all of a sudden it was over. Maybe we’ll have a rematch. **

Coronado yells at Herbert. He turns around and Mantis drops him with the Praying Mantis Bomb.

The Estonian Thunderfrog, Latvian Proud Oak & Lithuanian Snow Troll vs. Obariyon, Kodama & Kobald

Thunderfrog resists some of Obariyon’s attacks. He gives him a belly-to-belly suplex. He and Troll twist up both of his arms so Oak can come off the top rope with chops to both of his arms. The Batiri try to do the same to Oak. Oak however pulls Obariyon and Kodama together some Kobald hits them instead. Kobald does take Oak down with a spear. Oak however hands Obariyon and Kodama in a tree of woe. He poses above them while Thunderfrog and Troll grab Kobald. Oak holds him in place for Thunderfrog to run into them. Troll and Thunderfrog then use Kobald as a battering ram into the other Batiri members. Troll spears Kobald in the corner. Oak hip tosses him a couple times. Like last month, the Safety Dance is about to start when Obariyon and Kodama jump Oak from behind. The same masked pig (boar?) creature, along with another masked villain emerge from the elevator while the Batiri is wearing Oak down. They disappear back in the elevator. Oak is able to escape Obariyon’s grasp and tag in the Thunderfrog. He drops Kodama with a Gourd Buster and hammers him in the back. Kobald drops an elbow onto him accidentally. Obaryion and Kodama lift up Thunderfrog for a super Demon’s Toilet. Oak makes the save. Obariyon clotheslines him out. Kobald and Kodama get dragged under the ring. Obariyon saves them (it was the Troll who did it). Thunderfrog and Oak backdrop Troll from inside the ring and onto the Batiri while they’re trying to regroup. In the ring the Batiri gets attacked in the corner by all of the Baltic Siege. Troll and Kobald get switched around in an inside cradle. Troll ends up getting the pin with it at 13:24. I am a big Baltic Siege fan. Troll didn’t get to do much but looked good whenever he got a chance. I think the Batiri are at their best in trios matches and they work well with the wackier characters, so this was a success. ***

Amasis vs. “Mr. Touchdown” Mark Angelosetti

After trading some holds and a Lucha sequence, Angelosetti catches Amasis mid-leapfrog with a back body drop. After a slam he drops his knee across Amasis’ face for a two count. He drives his shoulder into Amasis’ mid-section thrice in the corner. Angelosetti focuses his attack on Amasis’ lower back; smart given Amasis’ injury history. He connects with two splashes, but on the third Amasis gets his knees up and small packages him. Amasis lights up Angelosetti with some strikes in the corner. Angelosetti knocks him down with a twisting single-leg dropkick for two. Angelosetti brings him to the top rope. He deadlifts Amasis on the second rope. Amasis slips off and brings Angelosetti down with a Leap of Faith. He hits a Pele kick for two. Angelosetti kicks him away, but Amasis pops right back up and forearms him in the face. Amasis blocks a spinebuster. He spins Angelosetti out into an Egyptian Destroyer for two. Angelosetti tries a catapult to the corner. Amasis escapes and hits a tornado kick. Angelosetti gives him a big spinebuster for two. He goes for the Flea Flicker. Amasis sweeps his legs out and nails a tornado enzuigiri for two. Amasis goes for a bulldog. Angelosetti uses the momentum to bounce him off the ropes into the Flea Flicker! Amasis still kicks out. Angry, Angelosetti rams his knee repeatedly into Amasis’ head. Angelosetti sets up for a spear. Amasis catches him with a desparation rolling forearm and collapses onto him for the pin at 11:37. This was one of the best WiF contests in awhile. Both guys worked supremely hard, told a great story, and busted out some bigger moves to really make it feel special. Sometimes it feels guys don’t go all out knowing the shows are on a smaller scale, but if WiF is going to gain some traction, these are the types of matches they need to be showcasing. ***¼

Green Ant vs. Oleg the Usurper

Sidney Bakabella is in Oleg’s corner. Oleg’s strength allows him to escape Green Ant’s full nelson. Green Ant slips to the apron for a gamengiri. He comes back in with a double jump dropkick. He kicks Oleg in the leg and side of the head before dropkicking him in the head from the apron. Oleg catches him coming off the top and throws Green Ant into the ropes. Oleg remains steadfast from Green Ant’s shoulder blocks and knocks Green Ant down with one of his own. Green Ant goes for a slam. He crumbles under Oleg’s weight, giving Oleg a two count. Green Ant’s headbutts have little effect. Oleg splashes him against the ropes and nails a mule kick. He gets two with a senton. Oleg tumbles to the floor and Green Ant follows with a dive off the top rope. Oleg throws Green Ant into the wall and gives him a backbreaker. He nails Green Ant with his “Off with his Head” forearm. Oleg makes his way back into the ring. Green Ant shoves Bakabella out of the way and makes it back in just in the nick of time. Oleg picks up some steam by hitting the ropes, only to be knocked down with a lariat. Oleg kicks out. He throws some headbutts to Green Ant. All that does is fire Green Ant up and allow him to throw some headbutts of his own. He musters Oleg up for a body slam which shocks Bakabella. Green Ant stomps and splashes onto him for two. As Oleg distracts referee Jon Barber, Bakabella cracks Green Ant with Oleg’s helmet for the pin at 10:38. Finally, an Oleg match truly worth watching. The finish was a bit weak but with the story they told and the quality of the wrestling I am actually willing to forgive it, especially if a rematch is on the horizon. It goes to show that Green Ant really is great and Oleg can excel in the right situation. **¾

Kiss My Foot Match
Saturyne vs. Princess Kimber Lee

Saturyne rushes the ring and kicks Lee silly. She sends Lee into the second turnbuckle with a headscissors and brings her out of the corner with a bulldog. Lee blocks a kick and shoves Saturyne down. She throws some forearms and chokes her. Lee tosses Saturyne by her hair and chokes her on the middle rope. She pulls her hair and throws a forearm at her chest. Saturyne counters a back drop with a spinwheel kick. Lee puts Saturyne in an Anaconda Vise in the ropes, releasing before the five count. More choking and forearms from the Princess. Saturyne brings down with a Frankensteiner for two. Saturyne axe kicks her twice for another two count. She goes for a quesadora bulldog. Lee counters mid-move with a German suplex. She gets ahmmer from under the ring. She knocks into Bryce Remsburg “accidentally” then tries to pull an Eddie Guerrero with the hammer. Saturyne is too smart for her and falls down as well. Bryce notices the hammer and asks the crowd who used it. With no decision made, both women throw kicks upon coming back to their feet. Saturyne blocks a Vader Bomb with her knees. She lands on Lee with a moonsault press for the pin at 7:27. This was far and away the best of their three match series. The aggression picked up significantly and there was actually something on the line to get people interested.**½

Lee seems like she is going to run off. Saturyne puts her boot on the second rope and shoves Lee’s face into it. Lee asks for a knight in shining armor. This of course brings Lance Steel (along with his partner Jolly Roger) out to save the damsel in distress. As they are carrying Lee away, The Devastation Corporation attack to set up their scheduled bout. Sidney Bakabella gives Lee a pay day, to show us that she baited Steel and Roger int the attack all along.

Jolly Roger & Lance Steel vs. Max Smashmaster & Blaster McMassive

The fight takes place around ringside before the opening bell with both teams trading control. Smashmaster procures a table and sets it up ringside. He goes to splash Lance Steel through it when Shane Storm emerges! He puts up his STOP sign to freeze Smashmaster on the top rope. He then smashes both Smashmaster and McMassive with the sign. Bakabella collects his Corporation members and takes them backstage. The match never officially get under way, so I presume it’s a No Contest. Seeing Storm back is a welcome treat. He was doing absolutely nothing as STIGMA and can hopefully add an element of nostalgia and entertainment to his matches now that’s reverted back to his former persona.

WiF Banana “Championship” Match
assailANT (Champion) vs. Jaka

Sidney Bakabella is in Jaka’s corner. A strike exchange starts us off. assailANT dropkicks Jaka to the corner. Bakabella tries to distract assailANT but he’s able to evade Jaka’s charge and send him to the floor. He follows out with a pescado. Jaka throws some jabs and a headbutt. He rakes assailANT’s back. assailANT tries throwing his head into the bleachers. Jaka blocks and instead back suplexes him onto the bleachers instead! He chokes assailANT back in the ring. Jaka throws him into the corner and drops him with a neckbreaker. A rolling headbutt is good for a two count. assailANT back drops him into a uranage. He misses a top rope Rough Ryder. Jaka boots him in the face. He throws a thrust kick for two. Jaka throws some forearms to his back. assailANT turns Jaka around and drops him with another uranage for two. He sets up for Get The Sugar. Jaka blocks it with a German suplex. He goes for the Jaws of the Jaguar. assailANT rolls him into the GTS instead. Jaka shrugs it off so assailANT gives him a Death Valley Driver. Bakabella stops referee Dan Yost’s count. The distraction allows Jaka to get the Jaws of the Jaguar submission on. assailANT passes out, giving Jaka the win and the “title” at 12:29. Something about this match didn’t click for me. I enjoy both guys and the wrestling was good, but neither guy really put their best foot forward. By that I mean they seemingly went through the motions moreso than really going out of their way to make this title match seem special. It didn’t help that the crowd was pretty silent for just about everything. Not either’s best effort, and I hope we see better out of the two of them going forward. I know they’re capable of it. **½

Jaka peels the banana and devours it! Bakabella is quite distressed by this turn of events.

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