Philadelphia, PA – 2.2.2013
Presented by Wrestling is Fun!
Saturyne vs. Juan Franscisco de Coranado
Manservant Herbert is in Coranado’s corner. Coranado throws Saturyne down a couple of times before applying a side headlock. She kicks him in the stomach and cacades into a huracanrana. She snaps off another one. She rolls forward in a wheelbarrow to Coranado face first into the second turnbuckle. Saturyne dropkicks him to the floor. Herbert checks on him. Saturyne dives onto him. Coranado drives her back into the ring apron. He drives his forearm into her back and chokes her on the middle rope. Herbert chokes her behind the referee’s back. He tosses Coranado a water bottle so he can take a swig. Saturyne gets tripped by Herbert as well. Coranado cracks her with a spin kick to the face! Saturyne kicks out. She goes to the top rope. Herbert grabs her leg and Coranado throws her off the top. Saturyne gets off his shoulders. She spikes Coranado into the mat with a quesadora bulldog. Saturyne dropkicks him to the corner and delivers a spinwheel kick. She axe kicks Coranado for two. Same goes for a spin kick. She goes for another quesadora move. Coranado counters into a German suplex. He goes for the Coranado Clutch. She rolls forward to escape. She dropkicks Herbert who tries to distract her. Coranado sunset flips him for the pin at 7:19. This was a good match in spite of the over abundance of Herbert’s interference in the beginning. If they had limited that, or eliminated it altogether, this match would have been that much better. **1/2
Presented by Wrestling is Art
Mike Quackenbush vs. Colt Cabana
This is a rubber match, as Quackenbush defeated Cabana at “Shoot A Crooked Arrow” and Cabana defeated Quackenbush at “Zelda the Great.” Quackenbush armdrags his way out of a wristlock and applies one of his own. Cabana baits Quackenbush into grabbing his hand, reversing the hold. He whips him out of it. Quackenbush brings him down in a side headlock. Cabana escapes into a headscissors. Quackenbush pops out of it. Cabana splits his legs and kicks him away. He snapmares Quackenbush into a chin lock. Cabana rolls into a modified kneeling press for two. He walks across Quackenbush’s back. Quackenbush trips him into a two count. Cabana walks around a schoolboy trip. Quackenbush escapes a hammerlock with a back drop. This leads to a series of pinning combinations. Bryce Remsburg loses his cool over how many pins there are. They switch back and forth in a full nelson. Quackenbush sits down to avoid an Irish whip. He in turn whips Cabana. Quackenbush goes for a sunset flip. Cabana sits down on it and grabs Quackenbush’s legs for the pin at 7:50. As you would expect, just like their other matches, these two showed just why they are considered two of the best mat wrestlers today. It was the shortest of them all but you wouldn’t know it from how they constantly kept things moving. This trilogy as a whole was a lot fun, and this was not a bad way to end it. ***
Presented by CHIKARA
Fire Ant, Green Ant, Scott “Jagged” Parker & Shane Matthews vs. Icarus, Chuck Taylor, El Hijo del Ice Cream & Ice Cream Jr.
Hijo pinches Green Ant’s buttocks after trading chops. Green Ant responds with a toreador and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. He dropkicks Hijo to the floor. Jr. throws Green Ant out. Jagged throws him to the apron. Jr. pokes him in the stomach with his cone. Jagged use one of the Colony’s capes for a mock bullfight with Jr. He ends up giving him a bulldog and a flying forearm. He comes up short on a second rope crossbody. Jagged dropkicks him out. Icarus throws him out. Matthews shoulder blocks Icarus to stop him from taking off his jacket. Icarus takes it off anyways. Matthews slaps his hideous back tattoo and dropkicks him. Hijo is now wearing a Colony cape by the way. Fire Ant and Taylor engage in a Lucha sequence, ending with Taylor’s belly-to-belly suplex. Fire Ant runs the ropes for a huracanrana. He follows up with a tilt-a-whirl DDT. Icarus spears Jagged upon them tagging in. The Rudos team isolates him. Matthews gets on the microphone and gets the fans to do the wave in the hopes of it getting Jagged hyped up. When Hijo stops him from escaping, Matthews gets the fans to chant “defense.” Jagged fires up Hogan style, including a big boot and legdrop. Matthews tags in and headscissors all the Rudos. He drop toe holds Hijo into an elbow from Jagged. Fire Ant suplexes Icarus into Green Ant’s reverse atomic drop. The Colony dropkicks him in the corner. Taylor and Jr. go for stereo powerbombs. The Colony help each other out and pull off stereo huracanrana’s. Icarus and Hijo Oklahoma Roll them for two. A series of events leads to Fire Ant splashing Los Ice Creams and Taylor at once. Taylor knees Matthews off the apron. He misses a pescado, so Green Ant dives onto him. Hijo dropkicks him through the ropes. Fire Ant dives onto both Ice Creams. Icarus sets up for the Wings of Icarus on Matthews. Instead, he and Jagged give him the Sweet Taste of Professionalism for the pin at 12:55. This had both the action and humor that makes CHIKARA unique. Anyone seeing them for the first time truly got a taste of what the company is about. Not only that, but it got 3.0 some momentum heading into their Campeones de Parejas match the following weekend. ***1/4
Presented by Wrestling is Awesome
The Estonian Thunderfrog & Latvian Proud Oak vs. Max Smashmaster & Blaster McMassive
Sidney Bakabella is in the Corporation’s corner. Smashmaster accidentally punches McMassive when Oak ducks. The Corporation sandwich him with stereo splashes. Smashmaster gives him a powerbomb. Oak stupidly tries to powerbomb them both. Of course he ends up being flapjacked instead. The Thunderfrog hits the ring with his giant hammer which knocks down referee Dan Yost and stifles the Corporation. They trie a double splash and miss. Thunderfrog dropkicks McMassive to the floor. Smashmaster places him on his shoulders. Oak logrolls his legs out and splashes his back. McMassive mows through them with tandem clotheslines. They place Oak on the top rope. Even the huge Devastation Corporation do not encompass the strength to pick up Thunderfrog’s hammer. They grab Thunderforg and make him pick it up. When they shove him away however the hammer goes down. McMassive misses a corner dive. Oak crossbody’s Smashmaster into a schoolboy trip from the Thunderfrog for two. McMassive chokeslams Thunderfrog on the apron! Oak tries chokeslamming the Corporation. They instead give him a tandem slam. The Death Blow does him in at 5:57. Nothing more than an extended squash, and nothing all that crazy outside the apron chokeslam. Good news is nothing was sloppy. **
Presented by Wrestling’s Heroes & Outlaws
The Hurricane & Matty DeNero vs. Ophidian & Kobald
DeNero only needs one hand to bring Kobald down. Why? It’s because he’s wearing a Power Glove, which is beyond awesome. Kobald bites his leg. He throws a few forearms and chops. DeNero blocks a chop and twists Kobald’s wrist so that he goes back down. He rolls away and tags in Ophidian. He wants the Hurricane. Ophidian does some dancing. Hurricane busts out some 3 Count moves in response. Ophidian gives him a shoulder block. Hurricane poses and Japanese armdrags Ophidian to the corner. Hurricane pokes Kobald in the eyes. He drops him face first onto his knee before applying a modified Kondo Clutch. Ophidian kicks Hurricane to break the hold. Kobald dropkicks him to the floor and follows with a pescado. Ophidian accidentally headscissors his own partner. Hurricane hip tosses DeNero onto the Batiri. Hurricane puts on his cape and crossbody’s onto everybody. When they get back into the ring, Ophidian and Kobald beat down DeNero in their half of the ring. DeNero punches Kobald with his power glove and comes off the second rope with a back elbow to Ophidian. That opening lets him tag in the Hurricane. He throws some clotheslines to Kobald and drops him with a reverse Killswitch. He clotheslines both Batiri members. Kobald ducks the Shining Wizard. Ophidian gives him a Code Breaker. Kobald spears him for two. Ophidian hypnotizes the Hurricane. In the aisleway, Amasis shows up. The distraction breaks the spell. Hurricane slams Kobald, then gives Ophidian an Overbomb onto him. Hurricane and DeNero chokeslam the Batiri simultaneously. Hurricane pins Kobald for the win at 13:27. That was a very CHIKARA style match, which I am guessing the WHO wrestling concept is aiming for. Hurricane would be a welcome special guest for CHIKARA and DeNero would be good for a Young Lions Cup tournament appearance. **3/4