Shoot A Crooked Arrow

Milwaukee, WI – 8.17.2012

Commentary is provided by Bryce Remsburg, Eddie Kingston, Chuck Taylor, Dr. Keith Lipinski, Gavin Loudspeaker, and UltraMantis Black.

Fire Ant {C}, Green Ant {C} & assailANT {G} vs. Obariyon {B}, Kodama {B} & Kobald {B}

Ophidian is in The Batiri’s corner. For those confused, with Wink putting Soldier Ant in the Swarm, he decided assailANT would be a member of The Colony for King of Trios. Green Ant takes down Kobald in a waistlock. After exchanging slaps, Kobald bites him in the clavicle. Green Ant hip tosses and body slams him. He gets two with a splash. Fire Ant and Kodama tag in. Fire Ant is over like rover, so the crowd is upset when assailANT blind tags in before he can do anything. Kodama dropkicks him to the floor. He knocks Fire Ant off the apron but gets thrown to the floor by Green Ant. Obariyon knees him in the face. The Batiri gang up on Green Ant until Kobald knocks himself into the turnbuckle. assailANT dumps Green Ant to the floor and sends Kodama to the corner. He wants to do the Ants Marching dropkick but his partners are not down with that idea. He misses his own dropkick and gets rolled up by Kobald for two. He rolls out after eating Kobald’s spear. Fire Ant comes in and sends both Kobald and Obariyon to the floor. Kodama gives him a modified spinebuster. Green Ant powerslams Kodama. assailANT wants to pull off the Ant Hill. Green Ant gets in a shoving match with him. Obariyon throws assailANT out. Kodama tosses Green Ant into the The Seventh Circle from Obariyon (a reverse Go 2 Sleep) to give The Batiri the win at 9:21. I appreciate the dynamic in the ant teams; while Soldier Ant wants nothing to do with the GEKIDO ants, assailANT seems all about being a Colony member. The Batiri continue to look strong going towards trios, but aside from the dissension in “The Colony” there wasn’t a whole lot to this. **1/4

The Mysterious and Handsome Stranger is backstage. He talks about how he’s been on the road so long that he’s seen a lot of his contemporaries come and go. He does a little singing before stating that he and his feral pigeon Sapphire are still around. To him, that is no accident; he is around because he has a purpose.

The Mysterious and Handsome Stranger vs. Tim Donst

Donst does not give Stranger his requested handshake. Stranger however puts on a waistlock and spins Donst around, grabbing his hand for that shake. Donst throws forearms to his back after Stranger rubs his shaved head. He rubs his forearm against Stranger’s face. Stranger throws some punches and stomps Donst down. Stranger gives Donst nine punches before he slips through his legs. However, Stranger gives him the tenth on the mat. Donst avoids a bulldog and drops Stranger with the STO. Donst Cactus clotheslines Stranger to the floor. He follows that up with a suicide dive. He also gives the Stranger a backbreaker from the ring apron to the floor. Donst misses an elbow against the theatre seats. He gives Donst ten more punches. Back in the ring, Donst slams Stranger’s head repeatedly into the mat. Stranger comes back with a bulldog from the second rope. He gets two with a clothesline. Off the second rope he comes with a double axe handle, not once, but thrice. The fourth time Donst rolls to the floor. Stranger puts on his hat and comes down to the floor with the axe handle! He puts on a spinning toe hold back in the ring. Donst kicks Stranger away and sends him to the apron. He slingshots Stranger back in and spears him. Donst hits the ring post going for another spear. Stranger drops him with a facebuster. He comes off the top with his legdrop for the pin at 10:50. My love for the Stranger has not subsided; he’s just as entertaining as he was in match one. Donst slowly eroding is still the thing to watch in CHIKARA. It was interesting watching these two work together and they both had a good showing. **1/2

Young Lions Cup X Semi-Final Match
Anthony Stone vs. Mark Angelosetti {T}

Veronica Ticklefeather and Dasher Hatfield are in Angelosetti’s corner. Hatfield tells Angelosetti he can’t use any of his usual shenanigans to win tonight. He also give Veronica some pom-poms which she does not seem happy about. Stone leapfrogs Angelosetti’s initial tackle and gives him a Japanese armdrag. He rolls Angelosetti into a kick to the head. Stone dropkicks him off the apron. He misses a chest kick, but rolls back to headscissors Angelosetti into the ring post. Back in the ring he gets a few nearfalls. He goes for a sleeper, but Angelosetti falls backwards to slam him against the canvas. Angelosetti gets two after a knee drop. He also gets two with a standing leg drop and a series of splashes. Veronica puts in her baton so Angelosetti can get some extra leverage on a seated abdominal stretch. Hatfield notices and makes Veronica stop. Stone hip tosses his way free. Angelosetti dropkicks him for two. Stone kicks Angelosetti to stop his shoulder blocks. Angelosetti catches him off the ropes and finishes his shoulder blocks in the corner. He punts Stone into the tree of woe. Stone flips back and German suplexes Angelosetti for two. Veronica distracts the referee so Angelosetti can grab his football helmet. Hatfield gets on the apron to reprimand him. The distraction allows Stone to roll him up for two. He brings Angelosetti off the second rope with a Side Effect. Angelosetti pops him up, causing Stone to crash to the mat chest first. Stone kicks out of the pin. Angelosetti pops him up again. Stone this times turns it into a spike DDT for two. Angelosetti ducks an enzuigiri and suplexes Stone into an Ace Crusher for two. Stone looks for a comeback, but ends up eating a pop-up spinebuster for the pin at 10:47. I am pleasantly surprised how much offense Stone got in. He looked really good and almost had Angelosetti’s number a few times. Angelosetti and Stone had really good chemistry and exceeded my expectations. I would love seeing Stone back in CHIKARA. ***1/4

3.0 are backstage. Shane Matthews says even though The Young Bucks aren’t here tonight, tonight is all about them. Jagged clarifies by saying they have a chance to get their third point and another tag title shot tonight. Not only that, but they can finish some unsettled differences they have with the Bravado Bros. Boo Ya!

Elimination Match
UltraMantis Black {SE} & Frightmare {SE} vs. Scott “Jagged” Parker {3.0} & Shane Matthews {3.0} vs. Arik Cannon & Darin Corbin vs. Harlem Bravado {ROH} & Lancelot Bravado {ROH}

Matthews wants to start with the Bravados. Harlem bails as soon as the bell rings. Frightmare and Harlem end up starting. Frightmare gives him a quesadora armdrag, a huracanrana and a step-up kick. Mantis tags in and with Frightmare gives Harlem the Sidewinder. Lancelot sends The Envoy to the floor. Cannon snapmares Lancelot into a dropkick. Corbin and Cannon give him a double gut buster and double dropkicks. Matthews trips Cannon into an elbow from Jagged. Jagged accidentally assists Corbin with a Shiranui on Matthews. Things go slow motion as Corbin sends Jagged into Matthews and O’Conner rolls him for two. Both Bravados miss elbow drops. Cannon misses a punch and eats Harlem’s chops. Jagged and Cannon slow mo fight The Bravados. Matthews and Corbin slowly tosses Frightmare onto everybody. Corbin throws Matthews to the floor where everyone but Mantis ended up. Mantis and Corbin break the slow mo so they can suicide dive onto everybody. Frightmare goes for his dive but eats a haymaker and superkick from Cannon. Matthews rolls up Cannon at 7:10 for the elimination and their third point. The Bravados pitch Matthews out so they can isolate Mantis. Some miscommunication allows Mantis to tag in Frightmare, who comes in with a crossbody to both Bravados. He drops Lancelot with an Ace Crusher for two. He uses scare tactics to send him to the floor. Harlem tries it himself, but it does not work. Lancelot trips him so Harlem can give Frightmare a bicycle kick. The Bravados give him the Gentleman’s Approach for the pin at 10:49. 3.0 jump The Bravados. Jagged back elbows Harlem in the spine. He knee strikes Lancelot after Matthew gives him a backbreaker. Harlem throws Jagged ribs first into the ring post. Lancelot feigns that Matthews kicked him low, but PJ Drummond refuses to ring the bell. 3.0 give Matthews the Gentlemen’s Agreement and the Gentlemen’s Approach for the pin and a second point at 12:18. Every team played their part perfectly, especially during the slow mo portion. I’m also an unabashed fan of The Bravados so them getting two points pleases me greatly. Here’s hoping we get a title match between them and The Young Bucks. ***

Eddie Kingston vs. The Shard {G}

The Shard was originally scheduled for an Atomicos match with his Swarm partners against F.I.S.T., but Johnny Gargano could not make the shows this weekend, so that match is now a trios contest and we have this impromptu singles bout. Shard jumps Kingston with a dropkick right away. Kingston brings him down with a uranage suplex. He gets two with a belly-to-belly suplex. Shard ducks the Backfist and sends Kingston out with an enzuigiri. He suicide dives after him. Shard gives him some kidney shots back in the ring. Kingston throws some chops. Shard sole butts him and gives him a Northern lariat for two. Kingston blocks a superkick. He throws Shard across the ring in an exploder suplex. Kingston throws some punches before getting two with a Northern Lights suplex. Shard drives him into the mat with an elbow. He gets two with a frog splash. He puts on a crossface. Kingston escapes and Saito suplexes him. When Shard kicks out, he looks for the Sliding D. Shard catches him with three superkicks. Kingston kicks out. 17 comes off the top rope. Kingston Backfists him in mid-air for the pin at 8:14. I was caught totally off guard by how strong The Shard looked. He went toe to toe with the Grand Champion and almost had him defeated on a few occasions. Of all the GEKIDO members, I think The Shard is the best of the bunch in terms of charisma and in-ring work. This was surprisingly great. ***

Jigsaw vs. 17 {G}

This is 17’s first match back since Mike Quackenbush broke his fingers at “Chikarasaurus Rex” in early June. Jigsaw and 17 exchange strikes. Jigsaw throws kicks to the chest. 17 chokes Jigsaw with his own boot. He stretches out Jigsaw’s back and neck in the ropes. He gets in some shots on the floor and back rakes Jigsaw back in the ring. Jigsaw slams 17 stomach first and sends him out with a running knee. Jigsaw flies after him with a suicide dive. He gets two with a missile dropkick. 17 looks for the Quackendriver I. Jigsaw slides off and catches him with a Michinoku Driver. combatANT comes out looking to interview. Immediately Quackenbush gives him a palm strike and brings him backstage. Jigsaw is distracted by the goings on and 17 kicks out his knee while he’s on the second rope. 17 targets his attack on that hurt knee. 17 leaves him for dead on the floor, but Jigsaw climbs in before the twenty count. Jigsaw reverses a figure four leg lock causing 17 to grab the ropes. Jigsaw tackles his knee and picks him up into a German suplex. 17 rakes the eyes to stop Jigsaw’s chops. Jigsaw however elbows him. His knees gives up when he goes for an enzuigiri. 17 hits the Quackendriver III for two. He then puts on the Stretch Muffler. Jigsaw grabs the ropes. He gets two with a small package. 17 palm strikes him for two. Jigsaw evades a superkick and hits one of his own. 17 blocks a brainbuster. 17 kicks him in the groin and gets disqualified at 11:05. Immediately Mike Quackenbush comes out and 17 heads to the back. This was all story, and it did a good job building up to tomorrow’s Quackenbush/Jigsaw vs. 17/Shard tag match. Jigsaw played up his hurt knee really well, giving us something to watch out for in that match. **3/4

Jakob Hammermeier begins to talk about what he’s going to do after winning tonight. Tim Donst interrupts him to once again tell Hammermeier that the Cup is nothing but trouble for those who hold it. He tells him not to win it and that’s he is “better than that.”

Young Lions Cup X Semi-Final Match
ACH vs. Jakob Hammermeier

Hammermeier actually shakes ACH’s hand. He does feel weird about it, though. ACH twists up one of Hammermeier’s pigtails. He forces Hammermeier to reach the ropes a couple times with a few different holds. Hammermeier grabs his nipples, taking a page out of Donst’s book. ACH grabs his nose and puts on a side headlock. He gives Hammermeier an atomic drop and a huracanrana from the mat. Hammermeier forearms him in the neck on the second rope. Hammermeier trips while chopping ACH in the corner. ACH sidesteps a corner attack and throws some kicks. He hops over Hammermeier from the top rope. Hammermeier catches him with a bulldog for two. He also gets two with a Side Russian leg sweep. ACH comes off the second rope with a huracanrana, which Hammermeier collapses during too. From the apron, ACH hits a slingshot Ace Crusher for two. Hammermeier blocks a kick and gives ACH a neckbreaker across his back. He gets two with a Golden Gate Swing. Tim Donst makes his way out. ACH shoves Hammermeier off the second rope and hits a 450 splash for two. Hammermeier throws him into the corner and slingshots in with an O’Conner Roll. Donst trips Hammermeier and tries talking to him. ACH gives him the “Cram for the Exam” (a Cradle DDT) for the pin at 12:39. I don’t know how to put this any other way, but Hammermeier’s ineptitude ruined this match. He fumbled and stalled a few too many times and it caused the match and a hot crowd to fall apart. At the very least, the Donst stuff was interesting, and ACH vs. Touchdown should be a lot of fun, but this match left a lot to be desired. **

Speaking of Angelosetti, he comes out to face off with ACH afterwards. He tells ACH that the cup is coming home with him. The fans chant “tool” at him.

Soldier Ant {C}, combatANT {G} & deviANT {G} vs. Icarus {F}, Chuck Taylor {F} & Sugar Dunkerton {F}

In case you missed it, Wink Vavasseur used his CHIKARAbrmetrics number system to put Sugar Dunkerton in F.I.S.T. Dunkerton gets the crowd fired up. Icarus doesn’t like that, so he tags in and forces Dunkerton to help take off his jacket. He can’t bring himself to do it. Soldier Ant puts on a headscissors which Icarus manages to escape. Icarus ends a Lucha exchange with an overhand chop. He takes off his jacket and gets monkey flipped to the floor. combatANT and Taylor tag in. combatANT throws him to the corner twice. Taylor overhead suplexes him across the ring. Dunkerton actually gets deviANT to dance. He throws some punches once the fun is over. combatANT moves deviANT so that Dunkerton misses his corner splash. They take turns wearing Dunkerton down, leaving Soldier Ant out of the fracas. Just as Dunkerton is mounting a comeback on his own, Tyalor blind tags himself in. Icarus knees Soldier Ant from the apron. Soldier Ant knocks him down, but turns into a throat thrust from Taylor. He slams him twice for a two count. He and Icarus take turns wearing him out, leaving Dunkerton out of it just like the Swarm did to Soldier Ant when they had control. He sends Icarus to the floor with a TKO and Taylor to the floor with a headscissors. He suicide dives onto Icarus. Dunkerton takes down both combatANT and deviANT. deviANT superkicks him into combatANT’s rolling forearm for two. Taylor sends them to the floor. He and Icarus give Soldier Ant F.I.S.T. Kicks and Shooty McGee for two. Soldier Ant sends Dunkerton into Taylor. CombatANT throws Soldier Ant to the floor. He goes for the TKO on Dunkerton. Soldier Ant forearms combatANT from the apron. Dunkerton hits the Shot Clock. Icarus throws Dunkerton out and steals the pin at 16:00. Really interesting dynamics between the two teams. Dunkerton seems to want to work with F.I.S.T, but they really have no interest in including him. The Ant team is just as dysfunctional as ever and does not look strong heading into King of Trios. The action was fun to watch and I really look forward to seeing if Dunkerton can make his inclusion in F.I.S.T. work out. ***1/4

Colt Cabana is shown outside earlier in the day. He’s excited for his catch-as-catch-can contest with Mike Quackenbush tonight. He has no ill will towards him, so he looks forward to having a competitive match with him tonight. He hints in a not so subtle way that he will be the victor.

Mike Quackenbush vs. Colt Cabana

A tense lock-up kicks off the match. They trade straightjacket chokes, then hammerlocks. Cabana fakes an elbow to get Quackenbush to release. Cabana brings him down with a wristlock. Quackenbush fireman’s carry’s his way free. Cabana rolls away when Quackenbush goes to pick his ankle. Quackenbush feeds him his foot. He tries taking Cabana down with a headscissors, but Cabana just cartwheels through. Cabana snapmares him into a chinlock. Quackenbush tries tricking Cabana into releasing it but it does not work. What he does do is get Cabana to move his foot so he can lock it with his legs. Quackenbush rolls away, but Cabana snapmares him into a side headlock. Cabana ties Quackenbush up, only to be tripped and have his legs spread apart by Quackenbush’s feet. Cabana back rolls out and foolishly puts himself right back in it. Cabana lifts Quackenbush up in the air by his feet. He makes Quackenbush swim in the air, then drops him into a bodyscissors. Quackenbush uses his feet to bring Cabana’s legs down. He digs his knuckles into Cabana’s knees. Cabana eventually escapes and puts on a courting hold. Cabana rolls Quackenbush to the floor. He comes back in and gets rolled up for two. Quackenbush brings him down in a side headlock. He runs the ropes but gets caught with a backbreaker. Cabana bends Quackenbush across his knees while pulling back on his arms. He switches from his knees to his feet and rolls Quackenbush into a modified Gedo Clutch for two. Quackenbush goes to the arm. Cabana backs Quackenbush to the corner. He misses the Flying A**hole. Quackenbush sits down to block being whipped across the ring. Quackenbush sits on Cabana’s back, only to be turned into the Billy Goat’s Curse. Quackenbush escapes. Cabana sends Quackenbush to the apron. Quackenbush rolls to avoid being whipped off the top rope. Cabana goes for the Chicago Skyline. Quackenbush super huracanrana’s Cabana. Cabana rolls through. Quackenbush puts him in the CHIKARA Special. Cabana taps out at 17:20. Watching these two mat wrestle is pure joy. They’re clearly masters of the craft and know just how to utilize the style. They actually infused more humor into the contest than I expected, but that set it apart from their tag match from last summer. I hope that we can get more of Cabana in CHIKARA, he always seems to deliver no matter what type of match he is in. ***1/2

After the match, Cabana says he would love to have another match with Quackenbush down the line. Quackenbush thanks the fans for welcoming them into a city that is generally foreign to them.

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