Allentown, PA – 7.13.2012
Commentary is provided by Mike Quackenbush, Bryce Remsburg, Gavin Loudspeaker, Leonard F. Chikarason, and Dasher Hatfield.
Before we get started, it should be noted that aspiring tag team The Flames of Love (Leslie Butterscotch & Avery Boysenberry) are in attendance for the show. If you are unfamiliar with this tandem, I suggest checking this video out.
Dasher Hatfield vs. Kobald
Kobald boots Hatfield at the start. Hatfield snapmares him and sends him to the floor with a neckdrag. Kobald evades a baseball slide and unloads some strikes around the ring. Kobald bites Hatfield when he looks to make a comeback. He throws Kobald face first into the ring apron anyways. Hatfield spanks him for a “good game.” Back in the ring he gives Kobald a couple atomic drops. He gets two with a small package. Kobald rakes his back. Hatfield drops him face first on three of the top turnbuckles. Kobald slides off his shoulders and gives him a spear for two. A running elbow drop has the same effect. Hatfield blocks a spear. Kobald rolls through his powerbomb attempt for two. Kobald sits on the back of Hatfield’s neck. He smacks Hatfield in the face. Hatfield picks up Kobald for a Jackhammer and a two count. After a few strikes he slams Kobald’s chest on the top turnbuckle of all four corners. He misses a corner splash. Kobald gets two with a bridging belly-to-back suplex. He sets up for the Demon’s Toilet. Hatfield stops him and hits the Suicide Squeeze for the pin at 6:51. I said this in my June CHIKARA reviews, but I am so pleased with how good Hatfield has become. He knows how to play the crowd and his in ring game has continuously gotten better. Kobald I feel has also improved and played a good foil for him. A fine way to kick off the show. **1/4
“Mr. Touchdown” Mark Angelosetti comes out with Veronica Ticklefeather to give his relative (Hatfield) some congratulations. When Hatfield leaves, Angelosetti reminds us that the last time they were in Allentown that he and Quackenbush got in a verbal confrontation that was supposed to lead to a match tonight. Angelosetti is upset that Quackenbush is behind the commentary table and not dressed to wrestle. Quackenbush suffered a wrist injury a few months ago due to GEKIDO member 17 twisting it up something fierce. Quackenbush says while he’s well enough to wrestle in multi-man matches, he wants to be 100% when he faces Angelosetti in a singles match. He may not respect his attitude or his valet, but he does respect his ability. That being said, he doesn’t want Angelosetti to have any excuses when he beats him in the ring. His opponent tonight instead will be Green Ant whom Quackenbush takes great pride in. He believes Angelosetti could learn something from him. After all, Green Ant has defeated him. Veronica says Quackenbush is filled with excuses and that he’s mad he can’t get a woman like her. Angelosetti leaves the crowd with a hearty “It’s Good!”
Jolly Roger & Lance Steel vs. Obariyon & Kodama
Obariyon bites Roger’s hand in a wristlock. Roger gives him a noogie in a headlock. Obariyon headbutts Roger in the back. Roger gives him an armdrag and a headscissors. Obariyon shoulder blocks him down. Roger dropkicks Obariyon and then ties him up. He poses on Obariyon’s back. Steel and Kodama lock-up while Obariyon is still tied up in the ring. They agree to push Obariyon to the floor. Because of his armor, Kodama’s shoulder blocks have no effect. He and Obariyon foolishly strike Steel’s chest plate which only hurts them. Steel chops them both in the corner. KE4TPG joust both Batiri members, sending them to the floor. Roger and Steel suicide dive after them. Steel gets ready to Finlay Roll Kodama. Obariyon saves him and the Batiri give Roger Scrambled Brains for two. The Batiri isolate Steel in their corner of the ring. All goes well, until the Batiri try the Joust themselves. Even though they can’t get that together, they’re able to keep Steel trapped for a few moments longer. Obariyon ends up giving Steel an opening when a diving headbutt hits Steel’s armor. Roger tags in and hip tosses Kodama into a neckbreaker. He hits the Golden Gate Swing for two. The Batiri boots Roger silly in the corner. Roger slips out of the ring so Steel can come in with a top rope dropkick. He Finlay Rolls Kodama and puts on the Boston Crab. Obariyon pulls of Steel’s armor and saves his partner. Kodama gives Steel a spinebuster off his shoulders for the pin at 11:44. Roger and Steel look like they have not missed a step as a tandem. If they came back as a regular team in CHIKARA I would be in favor of it. The Batiri did a perfect job playing up the pain they endured from Steel’s armor in addition to wrestling a solid match. ***
Soldier Ant vs. Johnny Ego
Before the match, Ego request Soldier Ant not to strike him in the face. A fast opening sees Soldier Ant force Ego to salute after a couple armdrag variants. He dropkicks Ego to the corner. Ego punches Soldier Ant in the face. Soldier Ant responds with a salute and a backdrop. Ego goes for the mask when Soldier Ant attempts a TKO. Ego knees him right in the stomach. He digs his boot into Soldier Ant’s chest. Ego goes after the mask again. He gets two with another right hand to the face. He goes for the mask while applying a bodyscissors. Soldier Ant takes the corner upon escaping. Ego chokes Soldier Ant on the middle rope. Soldier Ant shoves him to the ropes, but Ego comes back with an abdominal stretch, using the ropes when possible. Soldier Ant reverses it. Ego escapes and knocks Soldier Ant to the mat. He misses a high crossbody and takes a succession of clotheslines. Soldier Ant’s running crossbody earns him a two count. Ego ducks a rolling forearm and dropkicks Soldier Ant to the floor. Ego trips Soldier Ant on the floor. He drops an elbow on his neck before bringing him back in the ring. Back in the ring Soldier Ant wins a suplex battle. Ego turns Soldier Ant’s mask so that he can’t see. A fisherman’s buster gets Ego the pin at 9:23. Ego continues to be one of my favorite guys on the roster. His character is simple yet effective and he’s quite a workhorse in the ring. With Soldier Ant being the workhorse of the Colony, these two made for the perfect combination of opponents. **3/4
Jigsaw vs. Jaka
Jaka is a repackaged Jonny Mangue, best known from Beyond Wrestling. I don’t feel like I’m divulging a major wrestling secret because his gear says “MANGUE” on the back. Jaka headbutts Jigsaw’s wrist to break a wristlock. Jigsaw kicks him twice in the chest. Jaka elbows Jigsaw in the head and headbutts his chest. Jigsaw stomps on his chest for two. Jaka feels no pain when Jigsaw rams his head into the top turnbuckle. Jigsaw suplexes him on his head for two. Jaka captures Jigsaw’s in the ropes and throws multiple headbutts and kicks at him. In the ring he headbutts Jigsaw’s neck. Jigsaw comes off the second rope with a double axe handle. It has no effect at all. Jaka headbutts his chest for two. Jaka applies a trapezius hold. Jigsaw uses a chin breaker to escape. He dropkicks Jaka from the second rope. He only gets two with a Michinoku Driver. After calling for a top rope double stomp, Jaka is able to move. He ends up giving Jigsaw a double choke bomb for two. He misses a rolling headbutt. Jigsaw superkicks him after a failed sunset flip. Jigsaw sets up for a super brainbuster. Jaka smacks Jigsaw in the throat to take him off the top rope. Jaka lands a top rope splash for the pin at 7:40. That’s a pretty huge win for Jaka.. Clearly they have something in store for him either in WiF or CHIKARA. I’ve always liked Mangue, so I am pleased to see him get this opportunity. I really like what his savage character has to offer, and as long as he doesn’t let it go stale, I think it has promise. **3/4
Grizzly Redwood vs. STIGMA
STIGMA’s size gets him control early on. Redwood log rolls his legs out and gives him multiple punches in the corner. STIGMA catches his crossbody attempt. He gives him a backbreaker for one. STIGMA brings Redwood to the corner after a side slam. Redwood forearms him from the apron. STIGMA elbows him to the floor. STIGMA gets control on the floor, but back in the ring it’s Redwood who puts on a modified Octopus stretch. STIGMA lifts him into a side slam for two. STIGMA rams Redwood shoulder first to the corner. Redwood slips back to put on a sleeper hold. STIGMA rams him to the corner to escape. Redwood ducks a clothesline and comes off the second rope with a crossbody. STIGMA kicks out, so Redwood pulls down his suspenders to show he means business. Regardless, STIGMA German suplexes him. STIGMA misses a corner splash. Redwood schoolboys him for the pin at 6:21. It had been so long since I had seen Redwood as a babyface in this universe that I forgot how effective he can be when given a chance. STIGMA looked more out of shape and uninspired here than any other WiF show, so he didn’t do Redwood many favors. *1/4
Frightmare vs. Ophidian
Frightmare receives a grand reaction in his first singles match since he hurt his leg last summer. Ophidian attacks him right at the bell, stomping him down and chopping him in the corner. Frightmare rolls away and gets in some chops of his own. Frightmare gives him a quesadora armdrag. Ophidian takes him to the mat. Frightmare sends him to the corner with a step-up Frankensteiner. Ophidian headbutts Frightmare’s arm. Ophidian misses a corner knee strike. Frightmare comes in with a crossbody. Ophidian blocks a yakuza kick and thrusts Frightmare in the throat. He forcefully drops Frightmare’s arm across the top rope. Ophidian damages up Frightmare’s arm on the floor. In the ring a rolling sole butt gets him a two count. Back to the floor they go where Ophidian targets the arm some more close to the crowd. He even chokes Frightmare with his sash. He drives his knees into Frightmare’s chest back in the ring. He puts on a legged full nelson, twisting Frightmare’s arms in the process. Frightmare puts his feet on the ropes to escape. Ophidian drives Frightmare into the mat by his shoulder. Ophidian misses double knees on the top rope. Frightmare gives him an enzuigiri and a pop-up clothesline. A running Ace Crusher gets him two. Ophidian looks for the Death Grip. When Frightmare blocks it, Ophidian gives him an enzuigiri. Frightmare rams him head first into the corner. Ophidian powerbombs him to block another Frankensteiner. The double knees connect, but only get a two count. Ophidian successfully puts on the Death Grip. Frightmare grabs the bottom rope to break it. Frightmare recovers and hits a yakuza kick. Frightmare drives Ophidian onto his head with a Frankensteiner. Ophidian manages to break a cover by grabbing the bottom rope. Ophidian again drives Frightmare shoulder first to the mat. He puts on the Ophidian Death Grip, bringing Frightmare to the mat. Frightmare taps out at 12:24. Since C-Rex, Ophidian has done well in making his offense more diverse and really beginning to figure out what his character is all about. He did a good job portraying that against Frightmare who the crowd was so behind that it made Ophidian’s offense even more effective. Frightmare hasn’t lost a step and even looks like he has become more well-rounded in his time off. These two have a rematch in CHIKARA coming up and I look forward to seeing it. ***
Gavin Loudspaker comes in the ring for the next match. Sidney Bakabella, a manager comes in. He talks about his new team The Devastation Corporation, who he claims defeated 17 tag teams in one night on closed-circuit television in Brazil. He says there was two guys here begging for a match tonight. A fan yells for “The Flames of Love”, but it turns out they were kicked out of the building at intermission for trying to sell merchandise in the bathroom during intermission. Instead two nameless masked wrestlers emerge to face the Devastation Corporation.
The Devastation Corporation (Max Smashmaster & Blaster McMassive) vs. 2 Dudes
The Devastation Corporation are gigantic Legion of Doom type characters. They also have the best names ever. The names of the 2 Dudes are never given. It doesn’t matter, because the Corporation easily defeat one of them with a Demolition Decapitation variation (a splash instead of an elbow) in 1:01. That was quite the squash. N/R
Green Ant vs. “Mr. Touchdown” Mark Angelosetti
A banana is on the line in this match. Like, the potassium filled fruit. Bryce raises it to all four sides of the ring as if it were a championship. Green Ant breaks a lock-up in the corner. So does Angelosetti, but he chops Green Ant in the chest afterwards. Green Ant toreadors Angelosetti to the apron where Veronica was poised to hit Green Ant with a baton. She stops herself from hitting Angelosetti, but Green Ant still armdrags him to the floor. He follows up with a suicide dive. Green Ant punches him in the corner. He gets two with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Angelosetti trips Green Ant when he charges him in the corner. Veronica chokes Green Ant on the bottom rope behind Bryce’s back. Angelosetti shoulder tackles him three times in the corner. Green Ant counters a backdrop with a sunset flip for two. Angelosetti also gets two with a clothesline. Green Ant headbutts Angelosetti in the mid-section. Angelosetti t-bone suplexes him. He gets two with the Three-Point Stance. Green Ant elbows out of a side headlock. He hits the ropes but gets caught with a dropkick from Angelosetti for another two count. He also gets two with a running powerslam. He goes to do it again. Green Ant slips out and nails a superkick. Green Ant gets in his own powerslam. Angelosetti kicks out. Green Ant ducks a clothesline and Angle Slams Angelosetti for another two count. He slaps on the Cloverleaf. Veronica puts her baton in the ring so Angelosetti can pull himself to the ropes. Angelosetti gives Green Ant an inside out suplex. He gutwrenches Green Ant into a Gory Gallows type move. Green Ant rolls it into a lateral press for two. Angelosetti shoulder tackles him for two. Green Ant trips Angelosetti and comes off the second rope with a dropkick. Green Ant runs at Angelosetti in the corner. Angelosetti pops him up into a spinebuster. Angelosetti and Veronica can’t believe that Green Ant is able to kick out. Green Ant fires up from the headbutts Angelosetti is throwing. Green Ant throws some headbutts of his own. Veronica gets on the apron to distract Bryce. Angelosetti grabs his football helmet and cracks Green Ant in the head with it. That gets him the pin at 13:01. These two are some of the best overall wrestlers on the roster. Angelosetti may be overlooked because of his gimmick, but he does a terrific job not only with the character but in the ring. Green Ant’s evolved into one of the most diverse guys on the roster and will likely be a champion one day. The other thing I liked about this match is how well Hatfield portrayed his disapproval of Veronica and Angelosetti’s cheating ways on commentary. This was an overall success and a great way to end the show. ***1/4