Chikarasaurus Rex: How to Hatch a Dinosaur

Philadelphia, PA – 6.2.2012

Commentary is provided by Bryce Remsburg, Leonard F. Chikarason, Sugar Dunkerton, and UltraMantis Black.

“Strike first, strike fast, strike hard” – that’s the battle cry Ophidian says “we” live by. He will paralyze with his bite, and tail hits as hard as the Pharoah’s army. He says “we” will not leave Philadelphia defeated. He claims UltraMantis Black’s suffering will be legendary. I guess now that he’s absorbed the spirits of Amasis and Hieracon he considers himself to be a one man army.

UltraMantis Black {SE} vs. Ophidian

Ophidian has an all new grey outfit and mask. Ophidian and Mantis trade forearms. Ophidian chops Mantis up in the corner. Mantis returns the favor. Mantis stomps on Ophidian’s fingers as Ophidian drops down. Mantis delivers a DDT for two. Ophidian rakes his back. Mantis responds with a full nelson slam for two. He sends Ophidian to the floor with a tiger suplex. Mantis whips him into the guardrails. Back in the ring, Ophidian gives Mantis an Ace Crusher onto the second rope. He legdrops Mantis on the ring apron and attacks his throat. Ophidian chokes Mantis with his sash after taking off his vest. Mantis rakes his eyes, but Ophidian is still able to deliver an enzuigiri. Ophidian charges in the corner and goes after the throat once more. Mantis drops Ophidian face first onto the top turnbuckle. Ophidian takes Mantis to the mat, locks his legs around his arms, and bends back to add pressure to the neck. Mantis fights out of it fairly quickly. Ophidian goes up top. Mantis hits the ropes to crotch Ophidian on the top rope. Mantis superplexes Ophidian back into the ring. Ophidian blocks a chop. He misses a second enzuigiri. Mantis gives him a Japanese Ocean Cyclone Suplex for two. Ophidian blocks the Praying Manti Bomb and looks for the Ophidian Death Grip. Mantis blocks that with the Cosmic Doom for two. Ophidian drops Mantis’ throat on the top rope and comes back in with double knees from the top rope. Mantis kicks out, so Ophidian goes up top. He hits the Meteora for two. Ophidian double knees Mantis in the corner before applying the Cobra Clutch Death Grip. Mantis escapes. Ophidian grabs Mantis’ skull staff. He surrenders it when the referee asks for it. That’s so he can spit red mist in Mantis’ eyes. He rolls up Mantis but only gets two. Mantis then hits the Praying Mantis Bomb for the pin at 11:03. This was an excellent match to open the show. Mantis is over like rover which allowed the crowd to be vocal from the get-go. Although I’m not a fan of Ophidian losing his first match in his newest incarnation, I don’t think it hurt him and allows this feud to be put to bed (if they want it to be). The action was rock solid as well. **3/4

Dasher Hatfield tells “Mr. Touchdown” Mark Angelosetti that he needs to focus because the stakes are so high tonight. Not only can they earn a third point, and therefore a shot at Los Campeones de Parejas, but the loser of the match is out of CHIKARA. Angelosetti says they don’t lose. Hatfield thinks it’s because of teamwork, but Angelosetti takes all the credit for himself.

Loser Leaves Town
Mixed Martial Archie & Colt Cabana vs. Dasher Hatfield {T} & Mark Angelosetti {T}

The loser of this match is out of CHIKARA. Former Throwback member Sugar Dunkerton is on commentary for this match. Angelosetti ducks Archie’s initial offense and hits the floor. Archie throws a kick at Hatfield’s leg. Hatfield smacks him in the buttocks after sliding through his legs. Hatfield ebows Archie to the mat. Archie goes for a triangle choke. Hatfield backs Archie to his corner. Cabana tags in and rolls up Hatfield for two. Cabana twists up his arm. Archie comes off the top, only to trip Hatfield into a ground and pound. Archie punches Angelosetti off the apron and throws a flurry of punches to him around the ring and up to the stage. Angelosetti ends up giving him a big spinebuster on the ramp! Cabana comes up and throws some punches of his own. He chucks Angelosetti back into the ring. He lionsaults onto both Throwbacks before throwing some punches and Bionic elbows. Cabana misses the Flying A**hole and the Throwbacks take him out with a chop block/clothesline combo. Archie has now disappeared to the backstage area, allowing the Throwbacks to easily take control of Cabana. Cabana trips Hatfield to stop him from “running the bases.” Angelosetti back flips after delivering some shoulder blocks only to get caught with Cabana’s clothesline. Hatfield holds Cabana in a wheelbarrow so Angelosetti can give him a stunner. Cabana kicks out of Hatfield’s cradle. Angelosetti shoves Cabana off the top rope, sending Hatfield to the floor in the process (unintentionally, but definitely without care). As Angelosetti poses in the ring, Archie reemerges as Archibald Peck! The fans are losing their mind. Cabana crawls in so he can tag Peck in. Peck unloads punches on Angelosetti. Peck back elbows him in the corner. Peck gets two with a modified slam. He calls for the Cranial Crescendo. As he prepares, Veronica makes her way to the stage. Peck locks eyes with her but then decides to jump off the top. Angelosetti catches him with an Ace Crusher but only gets two. Cabana cuts off Angelosetti’s tackle with a hip attack. He puts on the Billy Goat’s Curse. Hatfield slaps Cabana to break the hold. Hatfield baseball slides Cabana in the crowd. As referee Jon barber checks on him, Veronica comes in the ring and places her baton between Peck and Angelosetti. They both fight over it once they recover. Hatfield takes the baton and disposes of it. Angelosetti clobbers Peck with his football helmet behind Barber’s back! He then forces Hatfield (who also didn’t see the attack) to Oklahoma Roll Peck for the pin at 16:15. While the result was a forgone conclusion, the action leading up to it was quite fun. Admittedly the action dragged when Cabana was all alone but the beginning and ending portions of the match were strong enough to make up for it. Dunkerton did a tremendous job voicing his displeasure with how Hatfield won the bout on commentary and I anticipate just how he fits into the overall equation. Really I look forward to see where everybody goes from here. ***

Veronica kisses Angelosetti to officially align herself with him. Hatfield does not look too pleased with this, but is happy with his and Angelosetti’s success so he doesn’t do anything about it.

Ladder Match for Gran Akuma’s Contract
Gran Akuma vs. Icarus {F}

Special Guest Referee: Gregory Iron

If Akuma grabs the contract, he will be re-instated into CHIKARA officially. If Icarus wins, he will tear up the contract and Akuma will be gone from CHIKARA for good. Special referee Gregory Iron of course has a sordid past with both men, though seemed to have made peace with Akuma in Chicago Ridge.

Akuma attacks Icarus before he can peel off his jacket. Akuma snapmares him into a back kick. A knee strike leads to the Cheetah Swipe. Akuma grabs a ladder on the stage. Icarus is busy bad mouthing a fan. Akuma sets the ladder on Icarus’ chest. Icarus slams it into Akuma’s face to block a charge. Icarus goes for a pin and yells at Iron when he goes for a count. Funny. Icarus chokes Akuma on the middle rope. Icarus drops the ladder across his back. He slingshot sentons the ladder onto Akuma, but absorbs some of the pain himself. Icarus legdrops Akuma onto the ladder, hurting Icarus’ own legs as well. Icarus drops the ladder onto Akuma’s back again. Icarus hangs Akuma on the top rope and dropkicks the ladder into him. The ladder falls down onto Icarus’ back, making the ladder the most over thing in this match. Akuma blocks Icarus from whipping him into ladder. Icarus goes for a Shiranui. Akuma blocks it with the Tenchi Crash. Akuma powerbombs him onto the ladder. Icarus stops Akuma from climbing the ladder and delivers a German suplex. Akuma goes for a powerbomb. Icarus counters with a huracanrana, following it up with a spear. Icarus calls for the Jon Woo (must have been watching his SUWA or Yasushi Kanda tapes). Akuma blocks it and catapults Icarus into a ladder in the corner. Akuma gives Icarus a German suplex of his own. Akuma brings out a taller ladder from backstage. As Akuma is trying to bring it in, Icarus catapults it into Akuma’s face! Icarus gives him the Blu-Ray onto a ladder in the corner. Again, the ladder falls down onto Icarus’ back. Akuma grabs the ladder from under Icarus to stop him from grabbing the contract. Icarus grabs a chain from under the ring. Akuma spins with a ladder across his neck. Icarus kicks him so that the ladder would fall off. Akuma ducks a chain-assisted punch. He gives Icarus his rolling Death Valley Driver onto the ladder. Akuma climbs the tall ladder and connects with a frog splash. Chuck Taylor and Johnny Gargano run out and attack Gregory Iron. They bring a table out and set it up next to the large ladder, which is now positioned under the contract. Icarus climbs the ladder as Taylor and Gargano put Akuma on the table. Iron grabs Icarus’ chain and chases Gargano and Taylor to the back. Akuma manages to catch Icarus and powerbomb him through the table! Akuma climbs up and retrieves the contract at 16:07. Once again Icarus delivers in a big match situation. While I wasn’t in love with this feud every step along the way, this was an excellent way to pay it off. Whether intentional or not, the fact that all of Icarus’ offense onto a ladder ended up backfiring was brilliant; it really added to the overall enjoyment of the match. This isn’t the craziest ladder match you will ever see, but a smartly orchestrated one. ***1/2

Sara Del Rey & Saturyne vs. Obariyon {B}, Kodama {B} & Kobald {B}

Sara boots Kobald at the start. Saturyne crossbody’s onto both Obariyon and Kodama. Saturyne spin kicks Kobald in the corner and Sara delivers a Koppu Kick. Saturyne and Sara sunset flip Obariyon and Kodama for two. Obariyon drags Saturyne to the floor so Kobald can attack Sara from behind. Obariyon and Kodama sends Sara into a spear from Kobald. The Batiri of course gang up on Sara in their corner, distracting the referee to take and unfair advantage whenever the opportunity arises. Sara manages to elbow Obariyon and Kodama to the floor and side step Kobald’s spear, sending him out to the floor too. Sara comes of the apron with a rolling senton onto all three Batiri members. Saturyne beautifully springboard crossbody’s onto them as well. Delirious makes his way ringside as Sara kicks Kodama multiple times in the chest. Kodama trips Sara into the Scrambled Brains (Obariyon’s knee). Delirious hops onto the apron which brings The Batiri after him. Saturyne dropkicks Kobald. She gets two with a wheelbarrow bulldog due to Obariyon breaking the cover. Kodama dropkcicks Saturyne to the corner. She eats Obariyon and Kodama’s flying feet which looks brutal. She still manages to kick out of Kodama’s pin attempt. Sara German suplexes him. Obariyon bites Sara to get her off the top rope. Sara manages to catch Obariyon with a chest kick to block the Flying DDT. Four axe kicks only earn her a two count. Sara goes for the Royal Butterfly while Saturyne stands guard. Delirious comes in and gives Saturyne a choke bomb. He trips Sara and delivers the Panic Attack. Jon Barber calls for the bell at 8:59, awarding the disqualification victory to Saturyne and Sara. There were a few sloppy moments from the Batiri in the beginning that didn’t start this off on the best foot, but they really got things together from Sara’s senton to the floor onward. Saturyne really impressed me here. If the goal of this whole feud was to raise her stock in CHIKARA then I think she did a good job of doing just that. I’m not a huge fan of DQ endings, but having it here is better than any other match on the show. **1/2

The Batiri stand around Delirious. Delirious kisses them on the forehead and heads to the back. The Batiri follow him. If Delirious is now leading the Batiri, I’m all for it. The Batiri seem to need a leader/mentor and I can think of no one better than Delirious for the job.

Lucha de Apuesta – Mask vs. Hair
Hallowicked {SE} vs. Tim Donst {BDK}

If Hallowicked loses, he will be unmasked. If Tim Donst loses, his head will be shaved.

Hallowicked unloads with forearms to start. Hallowicked ducks a bulldog and sends Donst to the corner with a step-up Frankensteiner. He sends Donst to the floor with a boot to the back of the head. Hallowicked follows with a pescado. Back in the ring Hallowicked goes for a super snapmare. Donst twists his mask to stop it and drops him with a STO. Donst slams Hallowicked’s head into the mat repeatedly. Donst puts on a sleeper with a bodyscissors. Hallowicked fights his way free but gets sent to the floor. Donst suicide dives after him. Donst traps Hallowicked in the ropes and twists his nipples. Donst hits the ropes to send Hallowicked crashing down face first into the canvas. A bulldog and the Gator Roll end up firing Hallowicked up. He catches Donst with a Rydeen Bomb to earn a moment of rest. They trade forearms back to their feet. Hallowicked nails a step-up enzuigiri. The super snapmare is only good for a two count. So does Go 2 Sleepy Hollow. Donst turns the pin into his From Dusk Til Donst submission. Hallowicked grabs the ropes to break it. Donst tries to German suplex Hallowicked off the ring apron. Hallowicked knocks him to the floor and goes for a suicide dive. Donst catches him on the dive and gives him a stunner. The fight goes to the stage where Hallowicked flapjacks him onto some steps. Hallowicked brings him back into the ring. Donst gets two with a cradle. He tries to pin Hallowicked with his feet on the ropes (much like he eliminated Hallowicked from the 2011 Cibernetico). Bryce catches him and does not make the count. Donst belly-to-belly suplexes Hallowicked into the corner for two. Donst tries for one off the top rope. Hallowicked turns it into a super Rydeen Bomb for two. Donst pulls Bryce in the way so he can take the brunt of Hallowicked’s step-up enzuigiri. Hallowicked rolls Donst into the CHIKARA Special. Donst taps, but Bryce is incapacitated. Hallowicked lets go and checks on Bryce. Donst tries to sneak in a chair. He holds up Donst’s Young Lions Cup and threatens to break it if Donst uses the chair. Hallowicked tosses Donst the Cup and boots him right in the face. Donst kicks out. Donst kicks Hallowicked in the crotch behind Bryce’s back. He puts on a rear naked choke, illegally with a shoelace as per usual. Bryce can’t see the shoelace under Donst’s arm. Hallowicked’s arm drops three times, giving Donst the win at 14:50. Donst tucks the shoelace under his arm as Bryce brings in a chair for Hallowicked to sit in for his unmasking. Donst demands Bryce raise his arm in victory. Bryce does and notices the shoelace fall from his armpit. Bryce tells Hallowicked to stop unmasking. He demands the match be restarted due to Donst using an illegal object. Hallowicked boots Donst in the face! He puts Donst in his own submission, From Dusk til Donst. Donst submits at 0:20 (15:10 total) to make Hallowicked the true victor. Being there live I can tell you that the room was stunned silent at the original decision. It came off well on DVD too and really reinforced just how important masks are in CHIKARA. Donst’s arrogance got the best of him and it cost him in a big way. I was expecting this to be a lot crazier, but for what it was it was very entertaining. ***1/4

Donst’s reaction to Hallowicked cutting his hair is so tremendous. He’s begging Bryce to make it stop and looks to burst in tears at any moment. Hallowicked shoves a big chunk out of the front of his head and leaves him with that. Hallowicked begins to leave with both his and Donst’s Young Lions Cup. He then tosses Donst’s Cup back to him as if it were nothing. In a surprising move, Donst throws the Cup down, spits on it, and walks backstage without it.

Eddie Kingston’s promo from the final Chikarasaurus Rex Event Center is shown.

Derek Sabato, liaison of the GEKIDO, leads all of them to the ring. Shortly to follow is the now four man CHIKARA team. Fire Ant was originally scheduled for the bout, but was attacked during the Pre-Show by the GEKIDO and therefore will not be competing in this upcoming bout. It’s also announced that he will be out of action for at least three months due to a broken leg. The rest of the CHIKARA team (Eddie Kingston, Jigsaw, Soldier Ant, and Green Ant) all come out to brawl with the GEKIDO members in and out of the ring. Mike Quackenbush comes in with a springboard dropkick to 17 when he is in the ring by himself. Sabato stomps and complains about Quackenbush’s involvement on the apron. Quackenbush gives him a palm strike and then tope con hilo’s onto the GEKIDO on the floor. Soldier Ant and combatANT end up in the ring and the match officially begins.

Eddie Kingston, Mike Quackenbush, Jigsaw, Soldier Ant {C} & Green Ant {C} vs. 17 {G}, The Shard {G}, assailANT {G}, combatANT {G} & deviANT {G}

The Shard tips Soldier Ant from the floor and comes in with a slingshot splash. GEKIDO isolates Soldier Ant and goes after his mask multiple times. Green Ant saves him from an unmasking on one occasion. Soldier Ant rips a good portion of deviANT’s mask as well. When GEKIDO jump in to save him, a brawl between all ten men breaks down. 17 ends up trapping Soldier Ant back in the ring again. Jigsaw stops him from going after the mask. Soldier Ant gets his knees up to block Shard’s second slingshot splash. Soldier Ant suicide dives onto 17, bringing in Kingston as the legal men. He knocks down all of the GEKIDO. He shrugs off Shard’s superkick and gives him a Saito suplex. assailANT delivers a jumping back elbow. Green Ant gives him a lariat. combatANT gives Green Ant a TKO for two. Quackenbush palm strikes deviANT. Jigsaw enzuigiri’s 17 into a mule kick from Quackenbush. Jigsaw gets two with a Rack Bomb. Shard drops Jigsaw with a Gory Bomb. Kingston suplexes Shard inside out. assailANT and combatANT team up on Kingston. Jigsaw breaks their cover. Jigsaw double stomps on assailANT as he goes for a spear. Jigsaw superkicks combatANT to the floor. From out of nowhere, Green Ant dives off the balcony onto everybody! 17 puts Jigsaw in the Crossface back in the ring. Soldier Ant breaks it for Jigsaw. Kingston and Jigsaw suplex deviANT and Shard. assailANT and combatANT muscle Soldier Ant to the corner. 17 goes for an unmasking. Quackenbush and Green Ant double hip toss 17 off the top rope to stop him. The five CHIKARA guys from The Voltron Tower (a mega super duper Antapult), with Soldier Ant diving onto 17. Soldier Ant then locks 17 in the CHIKARA Special, making him tap out at 9:24. That was a wild match from start to finish. I am quite surprised nobody got unmasked or that GEKIDO didn’t do anything really crazy after the match. Now it seems CHIKARA is beginning to get the better of GEKIDO in these matches and that their world is about to unravel. I’m not sure what the next chapter is, but I am anxious to see just what it is. ***1/4

Quackenbush gets in 17’s face and gives him some words we cannot hear. He then twists up 17’s wrist something fierce as a measure of revenge for 17 injuring his wrist back at “Green Ice.” GEKIDO retreat to the back as the CHIKARA team relishes in their victory.

The Young Bucks are backstage. Matt Jackson says they plan to take the Campeones de Parejas hostage and bring them to Ring of Honor so that the belts can have some real spotlight on them. He marks tonight as another step in the Bucks’ journey in continuing to show that they’re the best tag team on Earth. Nick agrees that it’s going to feel good to win the belts.

Campeonatos de Parejas
Chuck Taylor {F} & Johnny Gargano {F} vs. Nick Jackson {YB} & Matt Jackson {YB}

Matt and Gargano start off. Matt dropkicks Gargano on the floor through the ropes. Taylor flips over Nick and gives him a belly-to-belly suplex. Taylor goes crazy with some stomps in the corner. Nick dropkicks Taylor to the apron. Matt traps him so Nick can deliver a dropkick. Nick knocks Gargano off the apron so he and Matt can do some damage to his partner. Taylor drives Matt to the corner to tag in Gargano. He gets in one punch before Matt brings him to his corner. Nick gives Gargano a backbreaker, and Matt delivers a neckbreaker across Nick’s knee. Gargano gets his knees up to block Nick’s slingshot senton. He rolls Matt into a low shoulder kick. Taylor’s beautiful dropkick gets a one count. F.I.S.T. delivers the Boogie Boots. Taylor boots Matt into Gargano’s back cracker for two. Matt ducks a double elbow and throws Taylor into Gargano. Matt rolls up Taylor and grabs his tights to win the first fall at 7:17. F.I.S.T. is not pleased with this. Matt slides to the floor to bring Nick in with a double crossbody to F.I.S.T. Nick takes them out with a bulldog/clothesline combo. Nick gets a two count after raking his boots on Gargano’s eyes. He chokes Gargano with his shirt behind Bryce Remsburg’s back. Matt does some nefarious things from the apron while Nick distracts Bryce. Gargano hip tosses his way out of Matt’s abdominal stretch. Nick however trips him and turns him into an enzuigiri. Matt only gets a two count from it. Gargano evades a gamengiri from Nick which accidentally hits Matt in the face. Gargano ends up dropping the Bucks simultaneously in a DDT/Complete Shot combo. Taylor tags in. He sends both Bucks to the floor and follows with a tope con hilo. Back in the ring, Taylor rams Matt into Nick. Taylor rolls Matt up and hooks his tights to score the second fall at 12:41. Got to love that payback!

The Bucks stomp F.I.S.T. down to start the second fall. Taylor elbows Nick to the floor. Gargano slingshot spears Matt and dives onto Nick. Taylor gets two with a lionsault. Matt eats F.I.S.T. kicks in the corner. Nick trips Gargano and knee strikes Taylor in the corner. An assisted Shiranui from the Bucks fails, and Taylor tosses Matt into an Ace Crusher from Gargano for two. Matt catches Taylor coming off the top rope. He powerbombs him into the corner onto Gargano while Nick hits an enzuigiri. Matt German suplexes Gargano for two while Nick moonsaults off the apron onto Taylor on the floor. Matt and Gargano trade forearms. A series of moves knocks all four men down. Nick and Gargano fight it out on the ring apron. Taylor gives Nick Sole Food. Matt gives Gargano a jumping DDT on the apron! That looked nasty. Taylor and Matt throw forearms back in the ring. Matt rakes the eyes. Taylor rolls Matt into the Cross Crab. Nick roundhouse kicks Taylor to save his brother. Taylor fights off More Bang For Your Buck. Matt is trapped in a tree of woe and Gargano lawn darts Nick into him. Taylor DDT’s Nick into Gargano’s Hurts Donut. When Nick kicks out, Gargano brings him out to the stage. Nick elbows Gargano back into the ring. Gargano misses a slingshot spear and lands with a thud on the stage. While Bryce is checking on him, Matt nails Taylor with a title belt. Taylor kicks out at two, much to the fans delight. Nick springboards in for a tandem Spike Tombstone Piledriver. Gargano valiantly breaks the count at the last second. Gargano courageously fights off the Bucks by himself. He eats two superkicks when hitting the ropes. Matt and Nick successfully hit More Bang For Your Buck for the third fall and the belts at 22:51. I’m honestly surprised they pulled the trigger on the title switch here, especially since that makes two teams that lost in their first defense in a row. This match was as awesome as you would expect. The Bucks didn’t hit the law of diminishing returns in their offense and genuinely outsmarted and outworked F.I.S.T. (in the story of the match). Now there seems to be a hint of desperation for a CHIKARA team to take the belts back to their home turf which adds more excitement to the belts themselves. Hopefully this will lead to many excellent Young Bucks title defenses. ****

The show ends with Archibald Peck sadly walking by the Rocky Statue to sad piano music. Some random people standing by look very confused.

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One Response to Chikarasaurus Rex: How to Hatch a Dinosaur

  1. That main event was one of the best tag matches I’ve ever seen.

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