Aniversario: A Horse of Another Color

Easton, PA – 5.19.2012

Commentary is provided by Mike Quackenbush, Bryce Remsburg, Gavin Loudspeaker, Leonard F. Chikarason, Wink Vavasseur, Tim Donst, and Dasher Hatfield.

We get a classic Gavin Loudspeaker song to open the show. This song is a parody of “Word Up” by Cameo and is all about CHIKARA, natch.

We then cut to Dasher Hatfield. He recalls Ophidian defeating him when CHIKARA came to Canada. Tonight he has some help, as he is carrying the masks of Ultimo Breakfast and Create-A-Wrestler with him to mock Ophidian having the masks of Amasis, Hieracon and his old mask around his neck. Hatfield also reminds us that he defeated Ophidian at “Wrestling is Fun!” The series comes to a close tonight, and Hatfield says he knows a thing or two about closing a series.

Dasher Hatfield {T} vs. Ophidian

Ophidian has UltraMantis Black’s staff with him. To the fans singing the “Whacking Day” song from The Simpsons, my hat is off to you. Hatfield side steps Ophidian’s initial attack, but gets booted down in the corner shortly after. Ophidian chokes him on the mat. Ophidian sends Hatfield to the floor and chops him in the seats. Ophidian wants Gary the camera man to sit on Hatfield, just like Hatfield made Gary do to him in Ottawa. Gary refuses, allowing Hatfield to deliver some wind-up chops and a smack to the behind. In the ring, Hatfield snaps off a couple deep armdrags. Ophidian drops down to thrust Hatfield in the throat, Goldust style. Hatfield punches Ophidian while he’s distracted by the masks. Hatfield mocks Ophidian with the masks in his face. Hatfield stretches out Ophidian’s neck and legs. Ophidian blocks a wind up and gives Hatfield an Ace Crusher through the ropes. Ophidian goes after the throat in the corner. He backbridges whilst trapping Hatfield’s arms, putting his body weight on Dasher’s neck. As Hatfield hits the ropes, Ophidian jabs him in the throat. He misses a lionsault and Hatfield gets two with an Oklahoma Roll. Ophidian gets two with a flying boot. Hatfield uses the ropes for a monkey suplex (thanks for the cool move name Quackenbush!) Hatfield gives Ophidian a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Ophidian blocks the Suicide Squeeze by going for the Death Grip. Hatfield throws him off. Ophidian gets a grounded Death Grip to escape a spinning crucifix slam. Hatfield powers Ophidian up into a Jackhammer for two. Ophidian gets up as Hatfield runs to third base. Hatfield shoulder blocks Ophidian anyways, then baseball slides into him. Ophidian hits an enzuigiri. Hatfield remains standing, so Ophidian uses the ropes for a high-speed Duat Driver. Hatfield kicks out. Hatfield schoolboys Ophidian for two. Ophidian double knees him to the corner. He kicks Hatfield in the back of the head after yelling “Et tu, Amasis!” Ophidian goes for the Cobra Clutch Death Grip. Hatfield counters with a schoolboy for the pin at 11:53. This was better than both of their previous encounters. Ophidian has upped his game and his arsenal is much more interesting than it was previously in this incarnation. Hatfield again keeps quietly having good matches, and I think both of these guys came out looking strong. ***

The next match is a mystery bout between Season 11 and Season 3. Carolina Jim, CHIKARA ring announcer from yesteryear, will be the ring announcer for this bout. The Batiri and BDK are the five men representing Season 11. The Batiri get the Jimmy Rave treatment with fans throwing toilet paper at them. Lance Steel, Rorschach and Crossbones are the first three announced for Season 3’s team. Crossbones came out to his awesome Lamb of God theme. Shane Storm makes his triumphant return to CHIKARA and gets a huge reaction. Last we saw Storm (STIGMA), it was one year ago in Easton when he walked out on then partner Vin Gerard. Jolly Roger is the fifth team member and he has some sweet new gear.

Shane Storm, Crossbones, Jolly Roger, Lance Steel & Rorschach vs. Tim Donst {BDK}, Jakob Hammermeier {BDK}, Obariyon {B}, Kodama {B} & Kobald {B}

Kobald throws toilet paper at Crossbones shortly before the bell. Kobald fails to take him off his feet. Crossbones snapmares him into a back kick. Rorschach and Kodama tag in. Rorschach shoulder blocks him to the mat. Hammermeier knees him from the apron, allowing Kodama to grab a waistlock. Rorschach sends Kodama out with a quesadora armdrag. Donst wants Storm, as these two had some history back in 2009. Storm doesn’t fall for his handshake, stomping on his foot instead. Storm toreadors Donst to the corner. Storm gets two with a cradle. He calls for the Jackhammer. Donst sneaks out but gets chopped for his troubles. Steel comes in with Kobald. Kobald foolishly chops Steel’s chest plate. Kodama and Obariyon suffer the same fate, even when all of the Batiri chop Steel altogether. Hammermeier’s back chop fails. Steel chops them all down in the corner. He whips them across the ring, and Roger helps Steel pull off a Joust. Knight Eye for the Pirate Guy! Roger pulls off a quesadora armdrag to Obariyon. Roger uses the ropes for another armdrag. Roger ties Obariyon up and trips Hammermeier over him. As Roger does the Captain pose on Obariyon’s back, Donst bulldogs Roger face first onto Hammermeier’s feet. Roger becomes the unfortunate one to get isolated and worn down by the Rudos quintet. Roger sends Donst to the floor and suicide dives after him, bringing in Crossbones. He dishes out kicks to the Batiri and a shoulder block to Hammermeier. Storm puts up the STOP sign to stop Donst from running. His teammates become frozen when trying to free Donst from the sign. This allows the Season 3 team to pull off a quintuple suplex. Referee Jon Barber is holding the sign which freezes the Season 3 guys mid victory pose. He turns it over to the SLOW sign so they can celebrate in slow motion. The Season 11 guys attack them from behind. Kobald huracanrana’s Steel across the ring. He then hits the Demon’s Toilet but Steel’s armor blocks the impact. Steel picks him up in a powerbomb, then putting on a Boston Crab. Roger goes to Walk the Plank on Hammermeier who tries to break Steel’s hold. He fails but gives Hammermeier a fisherman’s buster. Storm hits That Japanese Move on Donst to stop him from breaking Steel’s hold. Rorschach suplexes Obariyon twice. Kodama kicks Steel to break the hold and pulls the armor off. Crossbones gives Kodama the Friggin’ Sweet Driver for two. Kobald spears the armor less Steel and hits the Demon’s Toiler for the pin at 15:06. I had such a fun time watching this. For a big time CHIKARA fan like myself, this was a wonderful trip down memory lane and I could not help but have a smile on my face for the duration of the bout. The action was good on top of everything else and the recent students got to triumph. I really enjoyed this, but I fully admit your mileage on this match may vary. ***1/2

SENDAI Girls Pro Wrestling Showcase Match
Meiko Satomura {SG} & Kagetsu {SG} vs. DASH Chisako {SG} & Sendai Sachiko {SG}

Kagetsu breaks a lock-up with Sachiko against the ropes. Sachiko wins a forearm exchange but eats a dropkick from Kagetsu. Sachiko puts her in a standing Octopus stretch. Kagetsu maneuvers her way to the ropes to break it. Kagetsu dropkicks Sachiko in the corner. She rolls Chisako into a modified armbar. Chisako dropkicks Kagetsu to save her partner. Satomura Judo throws Sachiko to the mat and cranks on her arm. Satomura key locks the legs and falls back to add pressure. Sachiko grabs the ropes to break a modified figure four. Kagestu slams Sachiko and kicks out the inside of her leg. Chisako comes in to try and help her partner. When referee Jon Barber goes to eject her, Chisako tries to fight back! Barber lets the infraction go and Kagetsu continues to tie up Sachiko’s legs. Sachiko dropkicks Kagestu from the second rope. Chisako dropkicks Kagetsu in the head thrice. A running crossbody gets her a two count. Chisako traps Kagetsu in the ropes and dropkicks her in the back. Sachiko pops up Chisako for a corner dropkick. Kagetsu manages to dropkick Sachiko and tag in Satomura. Satomura comes off the second rope with a forearm. She gives Chisako a rolling enzuigiri and a suplex slam. Chisako takes out Satomura’s knee and dropkicks her in the face. Chisako gets two with a running Ace Crusher. Kagetsu lands a series of dropkicks to Chisako but can’t get a pin. Kagetsu puts Chisako in a double arm lock. Chisako uses the ropes to escape. Sachiko and Chisako pull out some quick double teams reminiscent of Genki Horiguchi and Ryo Saito (Maraha! Isappa!) Two flipping sentons from Sachiko only gets her two. So does a top rope dropkick. She puts on a Guillotine, which Kagetsu suplexes her way out of. Sachiko superkicks Kagestu. Kagetsu elbows her against the ropes. Kagestu Airplane spins her for two. Satomura tilt-a-whirl slams Sachiko. Satomura throws some kicks to her legs and ribs. Chisako catches Satomura on the top rope, allowing Sachiko to huracanrana her back to the mat. Kagetsu tries to missile dropkick Sachiko but accidentally hits Satomura. Chisako sends Kagetsu out. She dropkicks Satomura into a German suplex from Sachiko. Satomura kicks out. Sachiko helps Chisako with a standing Shiranui. Bryce sneaks in a Dalton Castle reference before Sachiko can hit a moonsault. Satomura spin kicks Sachiko, then cartwheels into a kick to the back of her head! Oh God that looked brutal. Satomura follows up with a spin kick. She gets the pin with a Death Valley Driver at 18:07. Satomura’s last bit of offense was brutal and now I am dying to see her vs. Del Rey tomorrow. This was very good, just as good as most of the matches at Joshimania. Parts of it tended to drag but the offense was crisp, fairly innovative and everyone played their role perfectly. ***1/4

Mixed Martial Archie does a little plug for Oral B, the sponsor for his mouth piece. He plugs Wrestling is Serious, the best company ever. He wants to know if people have questions about his upcoming fight with Darkness Crabtree. Someone asks how he prepares for a seasoned veteran like Crabtree. Archie says that’s a stupid question and simply plans to knock him out. He then takes a sip of Rockstar Energy, another sponsor. Someone calls out Archie for his new MMA persona being a lame attempt to get Veronica back. Archie pretends he couldn’t hear the question and ends the press conference.

MMA Exhibition
Mixed Martial Archie vs. Darkness Crabtree

The three judges for this exhibition are Steve “The Turtle” Weiner, Jervis Cottonbelly (!), and THE SWAMP MONSTER (!!!!!) Get on the Swamp Monster bandwagon now, because he’s going to be the hot thing for the rest of the year.

Round One: Crabtree is unfamiliar with “pounding fists.” He falls over when he tries and Bryce checks to see if he can get up. It takes him some time, but he eventually makes it to his feet. Crabtree puts Archie in a standing triangle choke, which does nothing. Archie slams Crabtree to the mat and kicks him in the side of the head. He calls for his “finisher” just as Round One ends.

Round Two: Crabtree is still recovering as the bell sounds. Crabtree busts out his pills and ingests a large amount of them. They cause him to fire up. He runs around the ring before delivering an armdrag and dropkick. Archie wraps his legs around Crabtree’s ankles in the hopes of tripping him. Crabtree ends up escaping and running the ropes again. He delivers a headscissors. He stands off with Archie just as the Round ends. Archie looks a bit scared.

Round Three: Crabtree is quite exhausted. Archie delivers a punch when Crabtree takes the Crane pose. Archie throws some Kawada kicks and calls for his finisher. He jumps off the top rope, then puts on a Guillotine choke. When Bryce goes to check on Crabtree, he notices he’s quite cold. Bryce and Archie begin to freak out when they realize Crabtree is…dead? The bell sounds and Archie sacredly rushes to the corner. The judges confer and deliver their official decision to Gavin Loudspeaker. Darkness Crabtree is awarded the victory via Unanimous Judges Decision in Round Three. This was as silly as it sounds and just as entertaining. I don’t even know how to sum this up into words. It was goofy, fun, and very enjoyable. It also didn’t wear out its welcome. There is no possible way I can rate this, and that’s not really the point anyways.

Archie is quite upset with this decision. He argues with the judges over it. When Weiner asks to “pound it”, Archie throws him into the ring and knocks him out with a punch. Cottonbelly comes in to check on Weiner and also gets knocked out. The Swamp Monster comes in and absorbs Archie’s punch. He throws a punch of his own and knocks Archie out! That my friends is why you never mess with the Swamp Monster. Some music is then played that wakes Crabtree up. He’s very happy to hear that he won the Exhibition.

UltraMantis Black {SE}, Hallowicked {SE}, Icarus {F}, Mister ZERO & Dragonfly vs. 17 {G}, The Shard {G}, assailANT {G}, combatANT {G} & deviANT {G}

Icarus is in his Ichabod Slayne gear (he takes off the mask pre match) and Hallowicked is wearing his original green gear. We start out with an all out brawl in the ring. Icarus smashes the pumpkin he brought to the ring onto combatANT’s head! This allows the CHIKARA team to turn the tide. Dragonfly chops up Shard in the corner. He dropkicks Shard to the floor after an armdrag. ZERO and assailANT tag in. ZERO gives him a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. He grabs his newspaper but deviANT pulls assailANT out before ZERO can apply a Camel Clutch. Hallowicked Mantis hit a side slam/second rope legdrop combo. combatANT gets tosses into Go 2 Sleepy Hollow. Hallowicked then drops Icarus off his shoulders in a splash, Night Shift style. 17 breaks the pin. Hallowicked gives him a step-up enzuigiri. 17, Shard and deviANT triple kick Hallowicked in the corner while assailANT and combatANT hold onto his feet. GEKIDO pull off the abdominal stretch with the assistance of the other GEKIDO members. Bryce catches them, and Hallowicked hip tosses out. The CHIKARA team puts on the same hold but gets the help of the fans as well. ZERO meanwhile trips assailANT. Shard superkicks him while the Swarm attack the other CHIKARA members. ZERO is the unfortunate one to be beaten down by GEKIDO in their corner. ZERO ends up slipping out to the floor to bring in Mantis. He elbows all his opponents to the floor. 17 blocks the Cosmic Doom and Shard lariats him in the back of the head. Now Mantis is the one who gets isolated in the GEKIDO corner. combatANT goes for his mask which brings in Hallowicked and Icarus. 17 takes over, though Mantis is able to fight off his unmasking attempt. Mantis gives assailANT and combatANT a double neckbreaker to stop their tandem suplex. 17 misses a top rope senton and Mantis tags in Dragonfly.

He unloads with chops on everyone. He gets clotheslined by everyone in the corner. He side steps 17, and the CHIKARA quintet attack him in the corner. Dragonfly gives him the Quackendriver I and Shard breaks the cover. Hallowicked catches Shard with a step-up enzuigiri and super snapmare. He goes for Go 2 Sleepy Hollow but combatANT gives him a rolling forearm. The Swarm give him the Colony’s triple corner dropkicks. Icarus goes for a Shiranui on deviANT. He shrugs it off and holds Icarus for assailANT’s and combatANT’s tandem dropkicks. Dragonfly dives onto The Swarm on the floor. UltraZERO bust out the Last Shaven Unicorn Drop/Ace Crusher combo on 17. assailANT sends ZERO and Mantis out. Hallowicked boots him. combatANT gives Hallowicked a TKO. Icarus German suplexes combatANT. deviANT kicks Icarus in the chest. Mantis gives deviANT the Praying Mantis Driver. Shard drops Mantis in a Gory Gallows. ZERO gives Shard a Blue Thunder Bomb for two. assailANT drops ZERO with a Death Valley Driver. Hallowicked goes for the Graveyard Smash. assailANT backs Hallowicked to the corner where combatANT goes for his mask. Mantis and Icarus double suplex combatANT off the top rope and Dragonfly comes off the top with a splash. 17 ends up putting Dragonfly in a Lateral Crab, making him submit at 14:37. This was a totally different yet just as good match as the other ten men tag. The unity in the CHIKARA 1st Class was so potent that it really amplified the importance of them losing this match. The action was consistent and the callbacks to yesteryear were such a treat, but not one that will hinder your enjoyment if you’re not a long time fan. Another good chapter in the GEKIDO story. ***1/2

17 keeps the hold on Dragonfly after the bell. When he releases, Dragonfly is screaming in pain and asking for help. He has to be carried to the back by his teammates. Dragonfly revealed on Twitter a few days later that the injury would cost him his attempt at a comeback and that his career was over.

Tim Donst, who was on commentary for the previous bout, gets in the ring. He does some trash talking about Hallowicked letting Dragonfly get hurt. This brings Hallowicked out. Donst says he couldn’t protect Dragonfly, just like he couldn’t protect Frightmare. He says he can see under Hallowicked’s mask in his eyes that he thinks he is better than Donst. Donst is growing his hair out so he can remind Hallowicked every time he says him that he wasn’t the one who lost at “High Noon.” Donst threatens to hurt Frightmare in tomorrow night’s four corner trios match. Hallowicked sprints into the ring and gets in a fight with Donst. Mantis comes out to hold Hallowicked back. Donst wants Hallowicked’s mask so badly that he challenges him to a Mask vs. Hair match. Hallowicked responds incoherently, which Mantis translates as an acceptance. The CHIKARA staff have to separate them in another brawl in the ring, and another on the floor.

“Mr. Touchdown” Mark Angelosetti is backstage. He explains to us that he scored touchdowns and was the MVP of every single football game he was in, which is how he got his nickname. He plans to take over wrestling as well. He does not care about how the fans respond to him, all that matters is him winning.

Colt Cabana vs. Mark Angelosetti {T}

Cabana slaps the football out of Angelosetti’s hand as he poses mid-ring. Cabana teases him with the ball and throws it out in the crowd. Angelosetti goes after it, only to get caught in a game of monkey in the middle on all sides of the ring. Cabana calls it off and slams the football into Angelosetti’s stomach. Cabana schoolboys him for two. He stops Angelosetti’s charge and runs the ropes himself. Both men and Bryce continuously drop down, frustrating Angelosetti. Cabana reminds Angelosetti that he played high school football when puts down a line of scrimmage. Angelosetti attacks Cabana with forearms to the back which Bryce throws a penalty flag for. Cabana shoves Angelosetti into the ropes during the next hike. Cabana smacks Angelosetti in the bottom a couple times and drops him onto his bottom as well. Cabana gets two with a kneeling press. Angelosetti pops up Cabana with a shoulder tackle. Cabana gets his knees up. Angelosetti blocks his lionsault and gives him a backbreaker. Angelosetti gets two with a knee drop. Cabana escapes a chin lock but gets dropkicked in the back of his head. A few splashes earn him another two count. Cabana sends Angelosetti out to the floor to avoid another tackle. Cabana throws him into the turnbuckles from the ring apron. He slingshots Angelosetti in and double chops him across the chest. Cabana hits the Flying A**hole and gets two with a running elbow. Cabana’s hip attack has the same result. Angelosetti accidentally gets himself stuck in a tree of woe. Cabana kicks the football into him gently. He throws it into Angelosetti’s chest the second time. Angelosetti fights Cabana off the top rope. He hits a Superfly splash for two. Cabana throws Angelosetti into the second turnbuckle and kicks him in the chest. Angelosetti ducks a clothesline and suplexes Cabana inside out. Cabana delivers three punches. Angelosetti pops him up, but Cabana comes down a Bionic Elbow. Angelosetti follows Cabana to the top rope. Cabana ends up giving Angelosetti the Chicago Skyline for the pin at 13:05. I said I wanted to see a more wrestling oriented Cabana in CHIKARA and that’s exactly what I got here. He and Angelosetti pulled off some good comedy in the beginning but switched over into a good, fun wrestling match flawlessly. Angelosetti has so much upside and is already hanging with some of the most well revered indie wrestlers today. ***

The team of Jigsaw, Green Ant, Sara Del Rey and Shane Matthews are all talking over each other. This is the most excited I have ever seen four people together possibly ever. They all plan to win. This was wacky and great.

Eddie Kingston, Scott “Jagged” Parker {3.0}, Soldier Ant {C} & Saturyne vs. Jigsaw, Shane Matthews {3.0}, Green Ant {C} & Sara Del Rey

Jaggred wants to make things weird by starting with Sara. He begs for her to release a waistlock because he is still nursing some cracked ribs. She obliges. Sara shoulder blocks him to the corner. She goes back to the ribs when Jagged trips her in a double knuckle lock. She lets him go, but he puts on a side headlock right away. Jagged blocks a rib kick and yells at Sara again. He puts her leg down and makes her pinkie swear not to try anything funny. She scares Jagged who tags out to Soldier Ant. He goes after Jigsaw’s leg. They exchange a few holds before going for quick pins. Jigsaw stretches him out in the Gory Gallows. He armdrags Soldier Ant into a low dropkick for a one count. Matthews hits Soldier Ant with a dropkick. Jagged tags in to face his own partner but Saturyne tags herself in before they can lock up. Matthews shows off his power by shoving her to the corner. Jagged whispers some advice to Saturyne. She uses some kicks to his chest and an armdrag off the shoulders to send him to the floor. Saturyne ducks Green Ant’s boot and huracanrana’s him across the ring. Green Ant spins Saturyne into a backbreaker for two. Green Ant and his partners all slam Saturyne (except Matthews). She tags in Soldier Ant. The Colony members switch holds, with Green Ant going after Soldier Ant’s shoulder. Green Ant goes for a cloverleaf which causes Soldier Ant to grab the ropes quickly. Green Ant sunset flips Soldier Ant out of a double knuckle lock. Soldier Ant rolls through. Soldier Ant goes for a couple quick pins but cannot get a third count. Kingston stomps on Green Ant and suplexes him to stop their exchange. He’s tired of the participants joking around. A Nothern Lights suplex gets him two. Kingston traps Green Ant in the corner so Jagged can get in some shots. He gets two with a Perfect neck snap. Green Ant gives Jagged a running double forearm so he can tag out to Matthews. He sends Kingston and Soldier Ant to the floor with headscissors. Jagged shoves Matthews out too and follows with a pescado. This gets Matthews angry and he and Jagged need to be held back. Green Ant dives onto Jagged, Soldier Ant and Kingston. Saturyne then dives onto Matthews, Sara and Jigsaw.

In the ring, Soldier Ant goes for a TKO on Jigsaw. Jigsaw fights out and hits an enzuigiri. He gets two with a German Suplex bridge. Soldier Ant fights off a super brainbuster and delivers a diving headbutt. Green Ant breaks the cover. Green Ant trips Soldier Ant into the Cloverleaf. Saturyne dropkicks him in the side of the head. Matthews aggressively tosses her to the floor. Matthews and Jagged get into a heated strike exchange. Jagged hits a leg lariat and lungblower for two. He tries using Matthews’ Boston Crab. Matthews kicks him away, hits a spear, and powerbombs Jagged into the Boston Crab. Kingston breaks it. Sara stands off with the War King. She throws the first forearm but Kingston gives one right back. Kingston tells Sara to make her strikes good. That causes her to throw kicks at his head. A Koppu Kick gets a two count. Kingston catches her with a leg-capture belly-to-belly suplex. Kingston nails the Sliding D for two. Sara slides out to bring in Jigsaw as the legal man. Jigsaw superkicks Kingston in the stomach to stop Kingston’s onslaught of strikes. All of his partners attack Kingston in the corner. Jigsaw delivers a superkick and sets Kingston on the top rope. He hits the Super brainbuster for the pin at 23:20. That was the right finish to build up to Jigsaw and Kingston’s Grand Championship match tomorrow night. Some people had doubts whether Jigsaw truly earned a shot or not, but after this victory there’s no denying that matches validity. The match by and large flew by and had some really interesting encounters. I leave the match though feeling nobody really got a chance to shine through and the crowd wasn’t as into this match as they were for the rest of the show. That left me desiring a little something more, but if nothing else we have some good momentum going into tomorrow. ***1/4

Eddie Kingston shakes all of his opponents hands…except Jigsaw. Kingston walks to the back as Jigsaw yells at him to hold the belt tight. After tomorrow, he feels Kingston may never hold it again. The other seven people in the match make amends and everything is back to normal.


One Response to Aniversario: A Horse of Another Color

  1. Looneyboyo says:

    I loved this show, but my main complaint was with the finish of the atomico’s on the undercard- I get why the season 11 guys and the gekido went over and it does make sense, but I’d have had the season 3 guys winning their match. The Batiri are so entertaining that they’d have lost nothing they couldn’t get back with a strong showing the following night, and it’s not like anyone takes Hammermeier seriously anyway

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