Hot Off the Griddle

Chicago Ridge, IL – 4.28.2012

Commentary is provided by Mike Quackenbush, Gavin Loudspeaker, Dr. Keith Lipinski, Leonard F. Chikarason, Chuck Taylor, and UltraMantis Black. Major congratulations go out to Keith whose daughter was born on the day of the show.

Gavin Loudspeaker opens the show by playing an original song called “CHIKARA’s in Chicago” on his acoustic guitar.

The Colony and Jigsaw are outside the building. Green Ant says they have all earned everything they have ever received in CHIKARA. Green Ant can’t believe that the GEKIDO think they can just show up in masks and fit right in from the get go. Jigsaw says they will not let GEKIDO unmask them. They plan to end the feud tonight.

Gavin then begins to do introductions for the show when The Shard and The Swarm make their way to the ring from the crowd. Sprinting out of the aisleway come Jigsaw and The Colony. The eight men begin to brawl and our opening match is underway.

Jigsaw, Fire Ant {C}, Soldier Ant {C} & Green Ant {C} vs. The Shard {G}, combatANT {G}, assailANT {G} & deviANT {G}

Jigsaw and Green Ant double team assailANT in the ring while everyone else fights on the floor. They then give deviANT some tandem offense. The Shard and combatANT come in to send Jigsaw and Green Ant out. Fire Ant and Soldier Ant even things up with armdrags and dropkicks. They go for Ants Marching but Shard kicks Soldier Ant in the gut. combatANT looks to go after Fire Ant’s mask. Jigsaw saves him. With all four men in the ring, The Colony and Jigsaw deliver ten punches in the corner. They throw GEKIDO into each other, sending them out. Four pescado’s take them out. Jigsaw backdrops combatANT. Shard nails him with a clothesline. GEKIDO isolates Jigsaw in their corner as things finally calm down. Soldier Ant tackles combatANT to try to make things better. He ends up being sent to the floor, so Green Ant also tries to attack. He ends up being kicked by deviANT in the corner. When combatANT goes for Green Ant’s mask, Soldier Ant comes to the rescue. Fire Ant gets dropkicked and choked by the Shard. Mike Quackenbush on commentary notices something unusual about deviANT’s armdrag. That causes Quackenbush that he knows who “these guys are” and leaves the commentation station. At that time, Fire Ant hits the Yahtzee Kick on deviANT and dives onto Shard. Soldier Ant comes in with a saluting headbutt to deviANT. He takes down assailANT and combatANT as well. A discuss forearm and TKO to deviANT allow him to go for his mask. The Shard superkicks him. Jigsaw and Shard trade forearms. Shard puts him in a Gory Stretch and slams him on his face. Jigsaw delivers a brainbuster and assailANT breaks the pin. Green Ant lariats him and goes for CHIKARA Special: Green. deviANT kicks him in the head to break it. Each team takes turns attacking one of their opponents in the corner. assailANT drops Fire Ant with a Death Valley neckbreaker and goes for the mask. Soldier Ant stops him. combatANT attacks Soldier Ant from behind. He goes for the TKO. Soldier Ant blocks it and puts combatANT in the CHIKARA special. He taps out at 13:32. This was a brilliant way to start the show off. Give an uninitiated crowd an exciting, fast paced and heated bout to open the show and you can’t go wrong. I think this is the best GEKIDO match we have seen so far and it makes me look forward to future bouts between both sides. ***1/4

The rest of GEKIDO try attacking Soldier Ant after the match but he clotheslines them all to the floor. For good measure he crossbody’s onto them as well. He tries to go for the masks but GEKIDO flee before he can do so.

Mixed Martial Archie vs. Kobald {B}

Archie wants to “pound it” with Kobald but Kobald won’t oblige. Archie tackles Kobald and throws furious fists once the bell rings. Referee PJ Drummond pulls him off, so Archie celebrates in the corner. Kobald twists up Archie’s wrist. Archie just kicks away at his legs and throws more firsts. Drummond pulls him back again. Kobald sneaks in a spear. Kobald drops two elbows. He goes for a third but Archie catches him in a cross armbreaker. Kobald gets the ropes to break it. Archie punches Kobald as Kobald comes off the top rope. Archie celebrates his knock-out punch, thinking he won. He even invites Gavin Loudspeaker into the ring for a post match interview. Drummond informs him that he’s not won, and he needs to pin Kobald. He seems confused. Due to the fans chants, Drummond gets down and shows Archie how to pin Kobald. Kobald just happens to roll onto his stomach so Archie’s pin attempt is futile. He rolls him over and only gets the two count. Archie kicks Kobald in the side of the head. He calls for his old finisher, the Cranial Crescendo. Instead he jumps off and puts Kobald in a Guillotine Choke. Kobald gets his foot on the ropes to break it. Kobald bites Archie in the mid-section so he can hit a Rocker Dropper. Archie kicks out. Kobald goes for another spear but Archie catches him in a Guillotine. Kobald taps out at 6:45. CHIKARA has struck gold with Archie. No matter what he does he is hilarious and works the character to perfection. No one these days comedy wrestling better than Archie. This is another case where the match is impossible to rate, but just know that it was a hoot and a holler for its entirety.

Dasher Hatfield is considered that Mark Angelosetti got his butt beaten by Mixed Martial Archie a couple weeks ago. He’s also unhappy that Angelosetti keeps drinking tuna juice that is filled with mercury. Angelosetti says their business tonight is about winning. He says the clipboard tonight said “long haired freaky people need not apply.” This gets Hatfield going on a rant about music, which is still going when the camera fades to black.

Dasher Hatfield {T} & Mark Angelosetti {T} vs. Obariyon {B} & Kodama {B}

Hatfield armdrags his way out of Obariyon’s headlock. Hatfield sends him out with a backdrop. He back elbows Kodama who tries to attack from behind. He gets two with a crucifix. Hatfield sends him to the floor as well. Angelosetti blind tags himself in as Hatfield goes for a dive. Angelosetti dives onto them from the apron instead. Hatfield baseball slides them into the barricades. Angelosetti insists he will be the legal man. He gives Kodama a backbreaker for two. Angelosetti drops a knee. Angelosetti informs Hatfield that he does not need him and he will wrestle the match on his own. Hatfield becomes incensed by this and sits on the barricades instead of standing in the corner. Just as that happens, the Batiri nail him with Scrambled Brains for two. Angelosetti has to suffer through the Batiri’s beatdown now that Hatfield has rightfully left him out to dry. The Chicago fans try to encourage Angelosetti to apologize to Hatfield, but he refuses to do so. The Batiri get Hatfield’s attention when they mock him by hanging Angelosetti in a tree of woe and “slide into home” after “running the bases.” He gets back on the apron ready to fight. Angelosetti flips out of a suplex and tags in Hatfield. He unloads on both Batiri members. He jackhammers Obariyon. He shows the Batiri how running the bases and sliding into home is done. He hits the Suicide Squeeze on Kodama but Obariyon breaks the cover. Kodama gives Angelosetti a fireman’s spinebuster for two. Obariyon gives Hatfield the Flying DDT on the ring apron! While referee Jon Barber is checking on them, Angelosetti blasts Kodama with his football helmet. This gets Angelosetti the pin at 9:42. This was the best way they have shown dissension in the Throwbacks and a big difference in how they wrestle a match. The Batiri were serviceable opponents and did a good job while on offense. **3/4

Veronica comes to the ring happy that Angelosetti won. She gives Hatfield, who is laying on the mats, a bit of a disgusted look before she steps into the ring to raise Angelosetti’s arm. Angelosetti is thrilled with his victory.

Tianlong vs. 17 {G}

This is Tianlong’s debut match. He is the latest graduate of the CHIKARA Wrestle Factory. 17 throws Tianlong into a couple of corners. Tianlong kicks 17’s leg out and dropkicks him in the side of the head. He snapmares him into a knee strike. 17 takes Tianlong to the mat with an arm whip. 17 puts on a Shoulder Lock and Scissor. Tianlong taps out at 1:05. Not a bad story to add more heat to GEKIDO; have their leader permanently injure a Wrestle Factory graduate in his debut match. I like that 17 is the master of 17 forgotten submission holds, though I’m curious what the end game for his specific character is. Obviously, this is also not rated.

Mike Quackenbush checks on Tianlong and accompanies him as PJ Drummond carries him to the back. A few days later, Tianlong confirmed that his career was over after just one match.

Darin Corbin begins to rant about distance and whatnot until Arik Cannon shuts him up. Cannon keeps it short and sweet by saying that they missed CHKARA, the fans missed them, and they are happy to be back. Corbin notes he’s sick of Cannon as they walk off.

Arik Cannon & Darin Corbin vs. Nick Jackson {YB} & Matt Jackson {YB}

Cannon and Nick exchange wristlocks. Nick blocks an O’Conner roll. Cannon pops right up and gets it the second time. He and Nick stand-off. Nick dropkicks Cannon to the floor. Corbin rolls up Nick for two. Nick gives Corbin a gut buster. Matt delivers a neckbreaker across Nick’s knee for two. Nick rakes his feet across Corbin’s forehead. Matt goes for a headscissors but Corbin turns it into a modified Tenchi Crash for two. Nick trips Corbin and brings him to the floor. He does the same to Cannon. Matt catches Corbin long enough for Nick to dropkick him. The Bucks gang up on Corbin whilst keeping Cannon at bay. Nick goes for a slingshot X-Factor only to be caught with an Ace Crusher from Corbin. Corbin uses Nick to give Matt a Shiranui. Cannon tags in and clotheslines Nick. He flips up after a back elbow. Cannon’s exploder suplex gets two when Matt breaks the cover. Cannon brings Nick to the floor. Cannon gives Matt Total Anarchy (kind of) off of Corbin’s shoulders. Corbin dives onto Nick. Cannon hits Total Anarchy for real and gets two. Nick accidentally knee strikes Matt in the corner. Matt is able to superkick Cannon and Corbin. Cannon punches Matt. Matt superkicks him. Cannon drops him with a brainbuster for two. Cannon sets Matt on top. Nick makes the save. Cannon misses a second rope moonsault. Matt gives him a Canadian Destroyer. Matt powerbombs Corbin into the corner where Nick hits him with an enzuigiri upon impact. More Bang for Your Buck gets Nick and Matt the win at 10:00. This met the expectations I had going in; lots of hard hitting and fast paced action. There was a spot or two where they shrugged off a sizeable move as opposed to giving it proper time to soak in or really sell it, but that aside this was great fun. ***1/4

During intermission, Hallowicked is in the ring signing autographs and taking pictures with fans. Tim Donst comes in disguised as a fan in a Los Ice Creams mask. He gives Hallowicked an STO and puts him in the From Dusk til Donst submission hold. It takes three students, but they finally get Donst to break it. Donst gets what he wanted all along; his Young Lions Cup that Hallowicked had stolen from him at “High Noon.”

Scott “Jagged” Parker {3.0}, Shane Matthews {3.0}, UltraMantis Black {SE} & Hallowicked {SE} vs. Tim Donst {BDK}, Jakob Hammermeier {BDK}, Harlem Bravado {ROH} & Lancelot Bravado {ROH}

Hallowicked is too hurt from Donst’s attack at intermission to compete. Therefore, 3.0 and UltraMantis are down one partner for this match. 3.0 take the Bravados to the floor while Mantis has to fight the BDK by himself. Mantis back elbows Donst and gives him a Perfect necksnap. He Cactus clotheslines the BDK to the floor. Harlem takes control of Jagged. Jagged gives him two leg lariats. Matthews drop toe holds him into Jagged’s elbow. Jagged twists up Hammermeier’s ponytail. Hammermeier kicks Jagged into a Samoan Drop from Donst. Harlem gives him a boot for two. Jagged gets bullied by the Rudos until he small packages Harlem for a two count. Matthews tags in and gives Harlem a Headscissors. Lancelot comes in to give him an atomic drop. Harlem bicycle kicks him for two. Matthews becomes the new punching bag for the Rudos corner. Matthews backdrops Harlem to counter his powerbomb attempt. Hammermeier chokes him to prevent a tag. Double clotheslines knock them both down. Delirious makes his way ringside as Mantis tags in. He cleans house and gets his opponents to knock each other down. Delirious distracts Mantis when he goes for the Praying Mantis Bomb on Harlem. This allows Donst to attack him from behind. All four Rudos keep 3.0 at bay while beating Mantis down. They begin to celebrate with bottled water (except Donst who drinks water out of his cup). Hallowicked makes his way out (visibly still hurt) which surprises everyone. He knocks down Hammermeier and the Bravado’s before coming into the ring. Donst tries to bail but Hallowicked dives out after him. Those two fight to the back. Mantis goes to dive on Delirious. Delirious moves but Mantis luckily lands on Harlem. Lancelot hits Jagged with a chair from behind. Mantis chases Delirious to the back. Hammermeier rolls up Matthews for two. Matthews blocks a sunset flip with the Boston Crab. Hammermeier taps out at 12:13. The crowd didn’t really know how to react since there was so much storyline driven stuff going on in this match. I personally thought they did a great job mixing them together but the majority of the crowd seemed a bit clueless as to what was going on. **3/4

Jagged is holding his ribs as he lay against the barricades. Matthews tells the cameras things have become personal with the Bravado’s. I guess they were the ones who hurt Jagged. It was tough to tell. Jagged’s condition certainly puts his and Matthews’ tag titles in jeopardy as they face F.I.S.T. tomorrow night.

Eddie Kingston says Kevin Steen made their feud personal when he tried to urinate on the Grand Championship (back at ROH’s 10th Anniversary Show, “Young Wolves Rising”) and said some harsh words about his family on Twitter. Now Steen is coming into the promotion Kingston helped build. He’s not going to let Steen piss all over the company. He asks Steen how it will feel when he can’t play with son or when his wife won’t be able to look him in the face after he destroys him. He says Steen picked the wrong person to get personal with.

CHIKARA Grand Championship
Eddie Kingston (Champion) vs. Kevin Steen

Steen is wearing the mask he did in his Special Update to mock CHIKARA. He takes it off before the bell. Steen suggests chain wrestling, but of course we get each guy throwing forearms and fists instead. Steen rolls to the floor and Kingston suicide dives after him. He whips Steen into the barricades. Steen rakes his eyes. Kingston throws some chops and a slap only to be poked in the eyes. Kingston misses a backfist and hits the ring post. Steen kisses the ring post to thank it. Steen bites Kingston after throwing his hand into the ring post again. Kingston spits in Steen’s face. Steen spits him back. Kingston stupidly chops Steen with his bad hand. Steen does some serious damage to the hand. He shoulder blocks Kingston off the ring apron and into the barricades. Kingston yells at Steen from the mat. Steen shuts him up with a senton. Kingston again chops Steen with his bad hand. Steen bites him in the forehead. Kingston hops to the apron. Steen knees him and gives him a dangling DDT. Steen misses the corner cannonball senton. Kingston and Steen trade strikes until Steen rakes his eyes again. Kingston nails a jump-up enzuigiri and a pump-handle suplex for two. Kingston gets two with a double underhook suplex as well. Steen elbows his way out of a second one. He pops Kingston into a powerbomb for two. He immediately slaps on the sharpshooter. Kingston crawls to the ropes right away. Steen calls for the Package Piledriver. Kingston blocks and goes for a Saito suplex. Steen goes for the F-Cinq. Kingston slides off his shoulders and delivers a Dragon suplex for two. Kingston shakes off his bad hand and goes for the Backfist. Steen blocks and hits the F-Cinq. Kingston kicks out. Steen and Kingston fight for a big move on the ring apron. Kingston backfists Steen back into the ring. Steen small packages Kingston for two. Kingston hits the Backfist and a Saito suplex. Steen somehow kicks out. Steen ducks Kingston’s Backfist and low blows him for the disqualification at 13:10. Steen gives Kingston a kiss as he falls to the mat. While I’m sure this wasn’t the total war everybody wanted and the finish was disappointing, to me it’s abundantly clear that this feud isn’t over. This had the tendencies of a brawl but still kept the psychology in tact. Steen had people convinced more than once that he was going to win the belt which he should be commended for. If this is in fact the end of the feud, I will evaluate this a bit differently, but as a set up for a rematch down the line this was good fun. ***1/2

Gran Akuma Trial Series
Gran Akuma vs. Icarus {F}, Chuck Taylor {F} & Johnny Gargano {F}

If Akuma loses this totally unfair handicap match, his CHIKARA career is over. Akuma dropkicks Icarus as he’s taking his jacket off. Gargano and Taylor tandem stomp Akuma in response. Akuma shoves Taylor into Gargano and kicks his legs and chest. Akuma drops Taylor with a leg-cross Falcon Arrow. Gargano breaks the cover. Akuma kicks up Gargano and clotheslines him to the floor. Icarus trips Akuma as he hits the ropes. He gets two with a slingshot elbow. Akuma gets choked on the middle rope. Taylor throws him into Gargano’s boots. Gargano and Taylor lay in the Boogie Boots. Akuma inside cradles Icarus for two. Icarus dropkicks Akuma for two. F.I.S.T. Kicks only get two as well. Gargano tells the camera that Akuma is literally dying. Akuma fights off the Wings of Icarus. He instead gives him a rolling Death Valley Driver. Taylor and Gargano team up on Akuma. Akuma sends Taylor to the floor. Gargano nails an enzuigiri. Akuma hits him with a fall away kick. Akuma kicks Gargano who grabs his foot. Icarus nails Akuma from behind with his loaded fanny pack. Gregory Iron runs out to drag Icarus out of the ring. Gargano goes for the Hurts Donut. Akuma counters into a Prawn Hold for the pin at 8:00. Handicap matches are always a little awkward, especially with the odds being so uneven. However, Icarus being the ring leader and Taylor and Gargano doing most of the dirty work was a clever route to take. Most of the match revolved around Akuma being beaten down, which didn’t make for a super exciting match. The story at least was on point. Iron raises Akuma’s hand in victory. **1/2

Sara Del Rey vs. El Generico

We get a handshake between the participants. Generico breaks a lock-up cleanly against the ropes. Sara brings him to the mat in a wristlock. She also breaks a lock-up against the ropes with no trouble. Sara wrenches on a wristlock again. She palm strikes Generico’s chest when he takes the corner. Generico escapes a headscissors and puts on a headlock. Generico resists chopping Sara against the ropes. Sara shoves Generico and slaps him across the face in the hopes of picking things up. She gets her wish as Generico chops her twice and nails a leg lariat. Sara dishes out kicks to his chest. Generico chops Sara after she lays one in. She kicks Generico in the chest some more after locking his arms in the ropes. Generico nails a yakuza kick as Sara comes back in from the apron. She rolls to the floor to create some distance. Generico is weary of taking advantage, but throws her back in the ring anyways for a two count. Generico gets two with a scoop slam as well. This leads to a forearm exchange. Generico chops her in the corner. Sara comes out of the corner with a boot. Generico kicks her when she goes for a backdrop. She sends Generico to the floor and follows with a rolling senton off the apron. Back in the ring, Sara blocks Generico’s tornado DDT with a bridging Northern Lights suplex for two. Sara lays in some knees to Generico’s face. Generico blocks a kick to the head. He gets two with a Blue Thunder Bomb. Generico nails a crossbody, but Sara rolls through for a two count. She German suplexes him for another two count. Sara boots Generico in the chest some more. Generico catches her with a Michinoku driver for two. Sara kicks Generico as he picks her up off the apron. Generico trips her and picks her up. He puts Sara in the Royal Butterfly! He suplexes her out of it for two. Generico nails a yakuza kick. Sara blocks a brainbuster by putting on the Yes Lock! Generico manages to fight his way to the ropes. Sara runs at Generico. He catches her with an exploder suplex into the corner. Sara ducks a yakuza kick. An axe kick and enzuigiri from Sara lead to a piledriver for the pin at 14:18. Ladies and gentlemen, we have our match of the year (so far) for CHIKARA. It’s fitting that two people ROH has all but shunned main evented CHIKARA’s portion of the Synergy double header and lived up to its high expectations. Tremendous back and forth action, a great story of respect and perseverance, and it made Sara the unquestionable number one contender to the Grand Championship. How had this match never been done before? ****

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