It’s How You Play The Game

Ottawa, ONT – 3.25.2012

Commentary is provided by Gavin Loudspeaker, Bryce Remsburg, Leonard F. Chikarason, Tim Donst, and Mike Quackenbush.

It’s been awhile since we have had a Gavin Loudspeaker song open a show (it feels like that, anyhow). We get one here set to the tune of “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)” by The Proclaimers. As a side note, in the background there are two guys in all black wearing sunglasses who definitely do not seem like normal fans. Could be something, could be nothing. Just saying.

C*4 Wrestling Showcase
Mike Bailey vs. Mathieu St. Jacques

St. Jacques uses his teeth to win a wristlock exchange. He puts on a straightjacket choke. Bailey escapes and puts on another wristlock. St. Jacques shoves him off. Bailey comes off the second rope with a headscissors takedown. Bailey gets two with an O’Conner roll. He gets two again with a standing shooting star press. St. Jacques lariats Bailey in the back of the head. St. Jacques delivers a hard right punch in the corner. Bailey kicks St. Jacques to block his corner attack. St. Jacques drops Bailey face first on the top turnbuckle for two. St. Jacques misses a knee drop off the second rope. St. Jacques does however catch Bailey’s knee strike and lands a suplex. St. Jacques hits the second rope knee drop for two. Bailey comes back with a tornado kick to the chest. Bailey kicks St. Jacques in the chest a few more times, then delivers an enzuigiri. He Magistral cradles St. Jacques for two. St. Jacques comes back with a spinebuster, then puts on a Camel Clutch. Bailey escapes but St. Jacques nails a forearm. Bailey catches St. Jacques’ crossbody into a flipping body press for the pin at 7:01. Color me impressed. Bailey and St. Jacques are proof that Canada has some very good undiscovered talent. With a lot of eyes on Canada recently from these shows and other independent companies running there, I hope we see some more of their talent make the rounds. Both these guys I would welcome back to CHIKARA with open arms. **1/2

Jigsaw vs. Mark Angelosetti {T}

There’s some goofing around with Angelosetti’s football before the bell. Jigsaw strikes the Tebow pose because Tebow just got drafted to the New York Jets and Jigsaw is a HYUUUGE fan of them. Holy crap I knew something about sports. Anyways, this was actually supposed to be a tag match with Jigsaw and Mike Quackenbush taking on Angelosetti and Dasher Hatfield, but Quackenbush suffered a wrist injury thanks to 17 last night and will be out indefinitely. Jigsaw stretches Angelosetti in a Gory Gallows. A flying forearm and a low dropkick send Angelosetti to the floor. Jigsaw suicide dives after him. Angelosetti baits Jigsaw into a dropkick back in the ring. Angelosetti gives him a rope-assisted neckbreaker for two. Veronica makes her way ringside to watch the bout. Angelosetti drops a knee. Jigsaw chops him up from the apron and then against the ropes. Angelosetti back elbows Jigsaw for two. Jigsaw gets distracted momentarily by Veronica, allowing Angelosetti to hit a suplex for two. Angelosetti locks eyes with Veronica. Jigsaw chops him up some more. Jigsaw gives Veronica a hip swivel. He talks Jonathan Barber into doing one two which sends Veronica running to the back. Jigsaw turns into a running lariat from Angelosetti for two. Angelosetti Oklahoma stampedes Jigsaw. After a couple of splashes, Jigsaw gets his knees up to block a third. Jigsaw kicks Angelosetti in the side of the head. Jigsaw gets two with a high crossbody. Angelosetti blocks the brainbuster by tackling Jigsaw to the corner. Jigsaw double stomps Angelosetti to block a corner spear. Jigsaw gets two again with a German suplex. Angelosetti suplexes Jigsaw onto his head for two. Jigsaw hits the ropes to crotch Angelosetti on the top rope. Angelosetti almost gets a pin off of reversing a super huracanrana. Instead he picks up the win with a spinebuster at 9:59. This is a huge victory for Angelosetti that gives him instant validity in CHIKARA. I’ve been nothing but impressed out of what I’ve seen of him so far so I’m happy to see him get a big win like this. Very good match overall. ***

Sara Del Rey vs. Leah Von Dutch

For those who don’t know, Von Dutch is a Canadian female wrestler who was chosen by Edge to earn a scholarship for the Squared Circle wrestling school. This is her CHIKARA debut. Sara breaks a lock up cleanly in the corner. Von Dutch cartwheels in order to reverse Sara’s wrist lock. Sara trips Von Dutch to the mat to take control of her arm again. Sara’s Northern Lights suplex gets her a two count. Sara kicks Von Dutch repeatedly in the chest. Sara gets two with another suplex. Von Dutch evades a Koppu Kick and clotheslines Sara in the corner. Von Dutch bulldogs her out for two. Von Dutch misses a quebrada. Sara axe kickes her in the head for two. A rolling elbow also gets Sara a two count. The Royal Butterfly suplex takes Von Dutch out at 3:58. Four minutes didn’t give Von Dutch much time for a showcase, but she did so look good given how new she is. I would not mind seeing her back either. That being said, Sara destroying people is just as enjoyable as Brodie Lee doing so, so I enjoyed this for what it was. *1/2

Ophidian talks to Amasis’ mask. He throws down Hieracon’s mask saying he never has nothing good to add. He tells Amasis’ mask that Hieracon is weak, just like Dasher Hatfield. He yells at the mask for insinuating he would lose to Hatfield and promises victory tonight.

Dasher Hatfield {T} vs. Ophidian

This is another match that came from the Throwbacks vs. Quacksaw tag match being canceled. These two actually met a couple weeks earlier at “Wrestling is Fun!” where Hatfield defeated Ophidian. Hatfield twists on Ophidian’s arms and wrists behind his back. He rolls up Ophidian for two. Hatfield traps Ophidian’s leg in his tights, much like he did with Archibald Peck last night. Like Peck, Ophidian grabs the ropes to break his own “hold.” Hatfield baseball slides Ophidian into the front row. Hatfield stacks up some fans to sit on top of Ophidian in a chair. He even gets Gary of Smart Mark Video to get involved, which causes the whole line of people to collapse. Back in the ring, Hatfield places Ophidian on the top rope. Ophidian grabs a trapezius hold to counter the Grand Slam. Ophidian brings Hatfield to the mat with a chokeline. Ophidian chokes Hatfield with his sash. Ophidian headstands into a splash for two. Hatfield breaks a choke with the ropes. Ophidian keeps grabbing Hatfield’s shoulders. Hatfield hangs him in the second rope o he can throw some underhand chops. Hatfield goes for the Suicide Squeeze. Ophidian tries to turn it into the Death Grip. Hatfield slips out and gives Ophidian a couple armdrags and a quesadora backbreaker. Hatfield gets two with a Jackhammer. Ophidian goes for the Death Grip again. Hatfield slips out and eats an enzuigiri for two. Ophidian puts on the Death Grip. Hatfield powers him up into the Suicide Squeeze. Ophidian puts his foot on the rope to break the pin. Ophidian drop toe holds Hatfield and drives his knees into him. Ophidian kicks Hatfield hard in the shoulders. Ophidian puts on the Cobra Clutch Death Grip to submit Hatfield at 11:02. I’m glad these two got a chance to face each other and show off moreso than they usually are able to. Like I said before, Ophidian’s new persona grows on me the more I see it and Hatfield rarely fails to entertain. **3/4

3.0. are thrilled that they are finally Campeones de Parejas. Generico comes up to congratulate them as he too is excited over their victory. Generico gets their attention turned to their opponents tonight, The Batiri. Once again Generico and 3.0. argue over who is captain of the team. Generico decides they should play Rock, Paper, Scissors to see who is captain. Generico’s scissors cuts both Matthews and Jagged’s paper. Matthews proclaims its Lucha rules, so they go two out of three falls. Matthews and Jagged both get rock and punch Generico in the stomach. Jagged proclaims him and Matthews dual captains and leaves Generico lying against the wall. I love this trio.

El Generico, Scott “Jagged” Parker {3.0} & Shane Matthews {3.0} vs. Obariyon {B}, Kodama {B} & Kobald {B}

Matthews doesn’t appreciate Kobald playing with his title belt before the match. Matthews over powers Kobald in the beginning. Kobald bites Matthews wrist and chops him up in the corner. Matthews back elbows him. He goes for the Boston Crab but Kodama attacks him from behind. Jagged teases diving onto the Batiri who are scheming on the floor. Kodama gives Jagged a huracanrana. Jagged comes right back with a leg lariat. Generico and Obariyon tag in. Generico bounces off the ropes as Obariyon drops down. Generico leg lariats Obariyon the floor. Kodama and Kobald meet up with him and Generico tope con hilo’s onto the entire Batiri. Generico rams Kobald into Jagged’s boot. Kodama grabs Generico’s foot. This distraction allows Kobald to spear Generico in his lower back. The Batiri isolate Generico in their corner and continue to attack his back. They also attack 3.0. on the apron when apropos. Generico boots Obariyon who grabs his foot from the floor. Kobald spears him for two. Obariyon accidentally trips Kobald. Generico takes control by giving Kobald a Michinoku Driver. He tags in both members of 3.0. who give Obariyon and Kodama a pair of Bionic elbows. Matthews trips Obariyon into an elbow drop from Jagged. Same thing happens to Kodama. A Samoan drop/neckbreaker combo takes down Kobald. Matthews gets sent to the floor. Jagged pescado’s onto Kodama. Kodama and Obariyon deliver Scrambled Brains to Jagged. Matthews headscissors Obariyon and Kodama. Kobald tosses him to the floor. Generico gives Kobald a Blue Thunder Bomb for two. Obariyon drills Jagged with his Flying DDT. Generico breaks the pin just in time. The Batiri attack Generico in the corner. Generico however yakuza kicks Obariyon. Kodama gives Generico a spinebuster. Kobald knee strikes Jagged. He sets up for the Demon’s Toilet. Generico stops him and looks for the top rope brainbuster. Kobald shoves him off. Matthews catches KObald coming off the top and locks on the Boston Crab. Kobald taps out at 14:22. Fun is really the only word to describe this. Generico and 3.0. just work together. I thought The Batiri was going to pick up a big win here, but having 3.Ole! go over in their home country (well, 3.0.’s anyway) was the right call. ***1/4

UltraMantis Black {SE} & Hallowicked {SE} vs. 17 {G} & The Shard {G}

17 and The Shard attack Hallowicked and Mantis from behind. Hallowicked and Mantis boot them when reversing double Irish whips. Mantis pitches 17 to the floor. Hallowicked and Mantis hit a side slam/legdrop combo for two. Mantis tosses 17 into the Go 2 Sleepy Hollow, then hits a senton for two. Delirious makes his way ringside from the back door. The distraction allows GEKIDO take control. Shard lariats Mantis in the back of the head for two. GEKIDO wears down Mantis until he catches Shard with a full nelson slam. He backdrops 17 and tags in Hallowicked. He big boots Shard and gives 17 a step-up Frankensteiner. He sends 17 out with a step-up enzuigiri in the corner. Hallowicked suicide dives after him. While that’s happening Tim Donst comes from the commentary table to grab his Young Lions Cup back (Hallowicked stole it at “High Noon”). Mantis chases Donst off however and gets the cup back. Back in the ring, 17 palm strikes Hallowicked and Shard superkicks him for the pin at 7:32. Much like last night’s 17 and Shard tag match, this was much more about the story than the wrestling (which was fine). It looks like they’re setting up a BDK repeat where the GEKIDO accrue three points quickly and tag the tag belts. Or maybe that’s just what they want us to think. **1/2

While Mantis and Hallowicked are still in the ring, Ophidian comes out and spits black mist in Mantis’ face. Ophidian steals Mantis’ skull staff which makes Delirious very happy.

Archibald Peck is upset. So much so he can’t get out any words for a backstage promo. He claims to be despondent, then yells (in a pining manner) for Veronica.

Archibald Peck vs. Chuck Taylor {F}

Taylor has wacky country music for his theme now. Lord do I miss “Hey Sandy” right now. Taylor gives Icarus a hug (Icarus is the bell ringer for the evening. He’s shirtless too.) Peck’s heart is not into wrestling for the second night going. His shoulder blocks don’t have anything behind them. Taylor plays like he’s hurt to make Peck feel better. Even so, Peck begins to cry whilst hugging Taylor. Taylor empathizes but says they have to wrestle. Taylor pretends like Peck is killing him in a test of strength. This does make Peck feel better. Taylor stomps down Peck in the corner after revealing he was faking. Peck then stomps Taylor down. Peck backs up and feels behind him to see who it is. Peck then suprises Taylor with a Stone Cold Stunner. Peck even gives him the Thesz Press. He throws Taylor to the floor. Taylor and Peck fight up the stage by the commentary table. Taylor says he’s going to drown Peck and throws him into a picture of a lake. Peck takes the idea to pose in front of the portraits. Taylor shoves him aside to get some pictures of his own. They take some pictures in front of a garden portrait as well. If you want to see those pictures (AND YOU SHOULD), you can view them here. Taylor ends up shoving Peck into some stacks of chairs. Icarus chokes Peck under the heap of chairs as well. Peck is able to take control before they get back in the ring. Peck wants to go for a springboard. He ends up climbing the ropes and falling on his face. Taylor rakes his face and throws some karate chops. Taylor slams Peck and pulls out his invisible grenade. Peck catches it and tosses it around with Taylor and Bryce Remsburg. Peck sends Taylor into Bryce which explodes it. Peck counts while Taylor and Bryce are down. Both of them make it up by the ten count. Confused, Taylor goes after Bryce. Peck throws some punches and uses Bryce to help out with a clothesline. Bryce ends up bodyslamming Taylor. Bryce pins him (with Peck counting the cover) for two. Taylor ends up shoving Peck off the very small ring apron. Peck successfully hits a springboard forearm which gets the crowd going. Peck sets up for the Cranial Crescendo. Peck is too tall for the building and gets his head stuck in the ceiling tile. Bryce tries to help but. Taylor sends Bryce into the ropes to crotch Peck on the top rope. Taylor brings him down with a Super Sole Food for the pin at 15:24. What do you get when you put the two most goofily entertaining men in the ring together? Magic; that’s what. I don’t even know what to say. This was pure enjoyment from bell to bell. How to even put a star rating on this…well, I’ll say from a pure entertainment level it was ***** and in terms of wrestling it was like **1/2, maybe. You figure it out.

Fire Ant {C}, Soldier Ant {C} & Green Ant {C} vs. combatANT {G}, deviANT {G} & assailANT {G}

The Swarm (the name of the ants in GEKIDO) creep out from different sides of the building. The Colony is able to attack them as they enter the ring. Soldier Ant and Fire Ant double boot deviANT. All six men end up on the floor. Fire Ant chops up combatANT and throws him back to the floor. Fire Ant hits a flying forearm on deviANT. DeviANT stomps Fire Ant into the mat. assailANT is booting Green Ant on the floor. DeviANT fireman’s carry’s Fire Ant thrice. Fire Ant dropkicks deviANT to the floor. CombatANT bicycle knees Fire Ant and clubs him in the face with his forearm. combatANT throws Solider Ant head first to the mat. DeviANT again goes for Fire Ant’s mask. combatANT is doing the same to Soldier Ant. Soldier Ant is able to Samoan Drop him. assailANT elbows Soldier Ant to the floor. assailANT blocks Green Ant’s elbow by grabbing his mask. assailANT holds up Green Ant so combatANT and deviANT can double dropkick him. Soldier Ant stops assailANT from unmasking Green Ant. Soldier Ant hip tosses combatANT to the floor. Fire Ant dives after with a tope con hilo. Green Ant gamengiri’s assailANT from the apron. Fire Ant dropkicks him. Soldier Ant crossbody’s him off the top. The Colony hit a triple dropkick in the corner on combatANT. The Swarm recover on the floor only to be met with the Antapult. deviANT blocks Fire Ant’s stunner. Fire Ant fireman carry’s him into the Yahtzee kick. A series of moves leads to everyone but Green Ant being knocked down. Green Ant puts assailANT in the CHIKARA Special: Green. deviANT enzuigiri’s Green Ant to save his partner. deviANT victory rolls him for two. deviANT wraps his legs around Green Ant’s arms so he can pull off Green Ant’s mask. That gets Jon Barber to call for the disqualification at 9:21. I think it’s safe to say Green Ant is a key to this story. GEKIDO showed up in a Green Ant mask and he’s the ant they tried the hardest to unmask (and succeeded). Where they go from here could be really interesting. The match was one big brawl with little rhyme or reason aside from the finish, but enjoyable enough. **1/2

Eddie Kingston says before Brodie Lee can go to the land of entertainers, he has to go through a fight with him. He doubts Lee can knock him out or put him down for three seconds because he is the War King and a true wrestler.

CHIKARA Grand Championship
Eddie Kingston (Champion) vs. Brodie Lee {R}

Brodie boots Gavin Loudspeaker in the side after his ring announcements. Closure! Kingston brings Lee to the corner with punches. He overhead suplexes Lee who rolls to the floor. Kingston suicide dives after him. Back in the ring Kingston suplexes Lee for a one count. Lee gets referee Bryce Remsburg in the way so he can deliver a cheap shot. Lee’s dropkick and rolling clothesline send Kingston out. Lee gets some payback with a suicide dive of his own. Kingston and Lee trade blows. Lee goes to the eyes. Kingston headbutts Lee in the stomach. Lee responds with a shot to the face. He stomps on Kingston’s wrist. Lee chokes him on the second rope. Lee tries suplexing Kingston in from the apron. Kingston slips out. He gives Lee a German suplex but can’t hold a bridge because his head hit the mat as well. Kingston smacks Lee in response to his chops. They begin to slap each other and again Lee goes to the eyes. Kingston calls Lee an entertainer as he is getting kicked on the mat. Lee finally slaps Kingston so hard that he gets a two count from it. Lee slams Kingston chest first into the mat. Lee chops him in the corner. Kingston comes back with a headbutt. Kingston back elbows Lee and hits an enzuigiri. Kingston comes off the second rope with a bulldog for two. Kingston goes for a headscissors, but it brings down Lee in such a manner that Lee’s jaw hits Kingston’s knee. Lee smacks Kingston as Kingston climbs the ropes. Lee butterfly superplexes him off the top for two. Lee sets up for a big boot. Kingston moves but is met with the Truck Stop for two. Lee tells Kingston that someday he will buy a ticket to see him. Kingston counters the powerbomb with a huracana. He hits an American D for two. It’s like the Sliding D, but not Sliding. Lee blocks the Backfist and dumps Kingston in a half-nelson suplex for another two count. Kingston uranage suplexes Lee. Lee has his foot on the ropes to prevent being pinned. Kingston and Lee smack each other as they get back to their feet. Kingston lays in some elbows and chops. Lee kicks Kingston to the corner. He hits the big boot and sets Kingston on the top rope. Kingston manages to powerbomb Lee off the top rope for two. Lee moves Bryce in the way to avoid a kick. Kingston avoids it but accidentally kicks Lee into Bryce. Behind Bryce’s back, Lee kicks Kingston in the groin. Lee hits the Liger Bomb. Kingston manages to kick out. Lee looks for a second powerbomb. Kingston counters with a Saito suplex. Kingston hits the Backfist to the Future. He knocks Lee to the mat. Kingston delivers the Sliding D to the back of Lee’s head for the pin at 15:04. These two beat the snot out of each other, just like I hoped they would. This match was a long time coming and did not disappoint. This is pretty much exactly what you want from these two. I love that this is way Lee is leaving CHIKARA; fulfilling his 12 Large: Summit obligations and losing to the Grand Champion. Brodie, you will be missed. ***3/4


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