The Case of the Bulletproof Waldo

bulletproofwaldo

Chicago, IL – 6.24.2011

Commentary is provided by Mike Quackenbush, Bryce Remsburg, Gavin Loudspeaker, Dr. Keith Lipinski, Tim Donst, Leonard F. Chikarason & UltraMantis Black.

The show opens with Gavin Loudspeaker playing an acoustic song called “CHIKARA Loves Chi-Town”.

Dasher Hatfield {T}, Sugar Dunkerton {T} & Matt Classic vs. Obariyon {B}, Kodama {B} & Kobald {B}

Obariyon shoves Dunkerton with a wild yell. Dunkerton and Obariyon throw punches wildly. Obariyon rakes his eyes. He accidentally crotches himself in the corner, so Dunkerton rams his head into the turnbuckle multiple times. Dunkerton dribbles his head against the mat. Kodama comes in and gets taken down with an armdrag. Hatfield tags in and trades wrist control with Kodama. Hatfield blocks his pin and gets a two count of his own. Hatfield gets two with a Riveracita. Hatfield smacks Kodama on the bottom before delivering two armdrags. He hangs Kodama in a tree of woe and delivers a baseball slide. Referee PJ Drummond makes a bad call which causes Dunkerton and Hatfield to argue with him. Classic’s demeanor alone scares Drummond into saying Hatfield was safe. Kobald’s chops have no effect on Classic. Classic puts him in the Iron Claw. Classic Mongolian Chops one of Kobald’s earrings off and bends it. Classic gives him the Airplane Spin. Kobald jumps to the floor once it’s released. Classic follows, tagging in Hatfield and Obariyon. Classic doesn’t understand and argues that he’s the legal man. This commotion allows Obariyon and Kodama to double team Hatfield. The Batiri wear down Hatfield for awhile, until Hatfield catches Kodama with a Death Valley Driver. Dunkerton tags in. He ends Obariyon to the floor and gives Kobald an X-Factor. He drills Kodama with a shotgun lariat and throws him to the floor. Hatfield baseball slides all three Batiri members. Classic falls off the apron onto all three of them. In the ring, Classic accidentally throws Hatfield into a spear from Kobald. Kodama delivers a flying blockbuster to Classic to score the pin at 13:39. The Batiri have grown immensely as a unit, and you can see that clearly during the heat segment. Dunkerton and Hatfield have upped their game as well. The story and humor combination was a fine way to kick off the weekend. **3/4

Ophidian {OP} vs. Isais Velazquez

Ophidian and Hieracon were supposed to face a team from the GALLI Lucha promotion, but they are absent. Instead, The Portal will now be in singles matches – like this one! Velazquez is a Chicago native. Ophidian takes down Velazquez in a Gedo clutch for two. They trade forearms and chops on their feet. Ophidian kicks Velazquez, then snapmares him into a crucifix pin for two. Velazquez rolls him into a basement dropkick. Velazquez chokes Ophidian on the middle rope. He kicks Ophidian in the shoulder blades and back kicks him in the face, much to the fans dismay. Velazquez ducks a spinwheel kick. Ophidian catches Velazquez with a running boot. Velazquez gets sent to the floor and Ophidian dives out with a corkscrew tope. Back in the ring, Ophidian delivers double knees for two. Velazquez hits an enzuigiri for two. Ophidian evades a legdrop and looks for the Death Grip. Velazquez blocks it and hits a springboard flatliner for two. Velazquez and Ophidian’s legs lock as they throw stereo kicks. Ophidian applies a Bridging Cobra Clutch Death Grip causing Velazquez to tap out at 5:55. Velazquez was a suitable replacement, but the energy didn’t come close to matching the previous encounter. Some cool stuff here and there, especially the ending, but it wasn’t strong enough to keep a super coherent package. Between this guy, Skull, Dragon Yuki, etc, it seems Ophidian has the task to face the not-so-great or “mystery” guys. **

Johnny Gargano and Chuck Taylor say in 2011 they’re the best team in the world. Gargano says it’s appropriate that their quest to three points starts with The Colony, considering their history with F.I.S.T. Taylor says The Colony got lucky at King of Trios and that they will leave them battered and broken on their quest to three points.

Soldier Ant {C} & Green Ant {C} vs. Chuck Taylor {F} & Johnny Gargano {F}

Green Ant and Gargano look for control on the mat. Green Ant knocks him down with a shoulder block and rolls him into a half crab. Taylor throws Green Ant to the floor to break his hold. Soldier Ant takes down Taylor with a tilt-a-whirl headscissors. He rolls Taylor into a pin for two. Green Ant tags in and controls Taylor by his wrist. Green Ant then twists on Taylor’s foot. He tags in Soldier Ant and the Colony deliver a tandem hip toss before hitting stereo headbutts for two. Soldier Ant twists Taylor’s arm, forcing him to salute. Taylor boots Green Ant when he tags in. Gargano knees Green Ant from the apron. Green Ant shoves Taylor into Gargano, then dives onto Gargano. Soldier Ant delivers a Northern Lights suplex to Taylor for two. Gargano grabs Soldier Ant’s leg, allowing Taylor to deliver an enzuigiri. F.I.S.T. bully Soldier Ant in their half of the ring, including Taylor biting Soldier Ant’s antennae. Taylor drops a grenade on Soldier Ant. Soldier Ant catches it and explodes it while hitting Taylor with a rolling forearm. Green Ant tags in and knocks down Gargano with multiple strikes. He hits a wheelbarrow armdrag on Taylor. He dropkicks him in the head on the second rope. Green Ant hits a diving headbutt, and Soldier Ant hits a diving saluting headbutt for two. The Colony deliver a double corner dropkick and a double flapjack to Taylor for two. Green Ant misses an elbow to Gargano. Talor powerbombs Green Ant in the corner. Gargano superkicks Soldier Ant into a neckbreaker from Taylor for two. The Colony hit Gargano with the Ants Go marching. Soldier Ant sunset flips Taylor for two. He puts Taylor in the CHIKARA Special. Gargano breaks the hold. He shoves Green Ant into a ring post. Soldier Ant goes for the TKO on Taylor. Taylor shoves him into Gargano’s slingshot spear. Taylor drops Soldier Ant from a wheelbarrow position into a pump kick from Gargano. Taylor delivers a DDT. Gargano drops Soldier Ant with the Hurts Donut for the pin at 12:59. Gargano and Taylor are so crisp after teaming with each other all over the place. Of course The Colony are great as well, and it seems it’s almost impossible for these two teams to have a poor match. ***

Frightmare {SE} vs. Hieracon {OP}

This is the other match that came about from the fallout of The Portal’s opponents no showing. Frightmare pops out of a headscissors into a headlock. He armdrags Hieracon into an armbar. Frightmare grabs the ropes as Hieracon grabs a wristlock. The pace picks up, leading to Frightmare hitting a dropkick and a step-up Frankensteiner. Hieraco comes out of the corner. He tries a sunset flip, and when that fails, kicks Frightmare hard in the arm. Frightmare and Hieracon exchange forearms. Frightmare uses scare tactics to hit a senton for two. Hieracon blocks an ace crusher. He hits a lariat in the corner. Hieracon hits one of his own. Frightmare responds with a yakuza kick. He then hits an ace crusher for two. Hieracon rolls through a huracanrana from Frightmare for two. Frightmare hits another ace crusher. Frightmare misses a standing moonsault and Hieracon applies a crossface. Frightmare rolls back, pinning Hieracon for two. Hieracon delivers the Lightning Spiral for two. Frightmare O’Connor Rolls Hieracon for the pin at 6:10. These two just didn’t click for whatever reason. Things seemed a bit disjointed and there was some slight hesitancy and mistiming that hurt the match. I’d like to see these guys have a rematch when they actually know they’ll be facing each other; I feel it will be much better then. **

“12 Large: Summit” Tournament Match (Block A)
Icarus {F} (0 Points) vs. Sara Del Rey {BDK} (0 Points)

Icarus tries to pull Sara from a handshake into a kiss. Sara forearms Icarus instead. He delivers a backdrop and biels Icarus across the ring. Icarus cowers to the corner after an armdrag. Sara flirts her way into giving Icarus a knee to the mid-section and a hip toss. She gives him three legdrops for two. Sara digs her knee into Icarus’ back while pulling back on his arms. She rolls Icarus into a pin for two. Icarus takes a walk, only for Sara to catch him with multiple kicks to the chest. Icarus hides by the ring steps. Sara catches him with yet another kick. Sara ties up Icarus in the ropes and kicks the crap out of him. Icarus dropkicks Sara on the apron and punts her in the face. Icarus chokes her on the bottom rope. In the ring, Icarus delivers a dropkick for two. Icarus throws her arm across the middle rope before placing her in an arm-capture choke. Icarus rolls her into a hammerlock, in which he headstands to apply more pressure. Icarus delivers two consecutive suplexes for two. Icarus slides through as he leaps onto Sara’s neck. Sara sends Icarus to the apron, so Icarus throws Sara down by her hair. Sara angrily hits Icarus with a Koppu Kick as he goes up top. Sara brings him down with a superplex. Sara lights Icarus up with more kicks. She hits three big boots for two. Sara delivers a flurry of knees and a back kick for a two count that was so close to being three. Icarus drops her with a Death Valley Driver for two. Sara evades the Shiranui. Icarus ducks a kick and drops her with the Shiranui for two. Icarus gives her a spear for two. Sara comes back with the Angle Slam. Icarus puts his foot on the ropes to break the pin. Icarus drops Sara neck first on the ropes. He goes for the Pedigree, but Sara rolls through with a bridge and pins Icarus at 13:56. The crowd here was great, as they cheered loudly for Sara while booing like mad for Icarus (as it should be). I heard some tremendous reviews for this live, and while this wasn’t what I expected, it’s certainly the type of match you rarely see these days. Donst’s commentary that essentially chastised and cheered for Sara simultaneously was icing on the proverbial cake. ***

“12 Large: Summit” Tournament Match (Block A)
Hallowicked {SE} (2 Points) vs. Claudio Castagnoli {BDK} (0 Points)

A series of ferocious lock-ups sees Claudio break all of them nefariously. Hallowicked and Claudio lock arms. Claudio throws Hallowicked by his mask to the mat. Claudio pulls the strings of Hallowicked’s mask. Hallowicked backs Claudio to the corner. Claudio grinds on a front chancery. Hallowicked whips him down to his back. Claudio does the same before Hallowicked reverses. Hallowicked armdrags Claudio and applies a single leg twist. Claudio breaks and clotheslines Hallowicked in the mid-section. Claudio twists on Hallowicked’s ankle. Hallowicked headstands and twists out of it.Claudio puts Hallowicked in a headscissors. Hallowicked escapes. He traps Claudio’s legs and applies pressure to his knees. He keeps the legs trapped while putting on a front chancery. Claudio turns him into a pin for two. Claudio tries to slam his way out of a cravate, but Hallowicked keeps it on even when slammed. Claudio pulls Hallowicked by his mask to the ropes to break the hold. He snapmares Hallowicked in a cravate for two. Claudio pushes Hallowicked’s hands to the mat, but Hallowicked bridges up to break the pin. Hallowicked Mexican catapults into a sunset flip for two. Claudio twists Hallowicked’s ankle again. Hallowicked draws Claudio into a side headlock. Claudio shoves Hallowicked to the corner. Hallowicked somersault sentons onto Claudio’s waiting knees for two. Claudio applies a Camel Clutch. Claudio sits down on Hallowicked’s back upon Hallowicked’s escape. Claudio nails an uppercut for two. Claudio digs his knee into Hallowicked’s back while stretching his arms back. Hallowicked struggles, but gets a sunset flip for two. Claudio stomps on him after a clothesline. Claudio drives his knee into Hallowicked’s back as Hallowicked hands from the ring apron. Hallowicked fights out of a handlebar stretch. He takes Claudio over with a step-up Frankensteiner. He hits a step-up enzuigiri and small packages Claudio for two. Hallowicked delivers the Monster Mash for two. Hallowicked turns an uppercut from Claudio into a backslide for two. Hallowicked ducks a bicycle kick and hits a yakuza kick for two. Claudio blocks the Graveyard Smash with a suplex. Claudio crotches Hallowicked as he goes for a step-up enzuigiri. Claudio puts his feet on the ropes to get the pin at 14:34. This was the excellent back-and-forth wrestling match you’ve come to expect from these two. The finish was appropriate given the circumstances, as it showed even Claudio wasn’t convinced he could beat Hallowicked cleanly. You know what both these guys are capable of, and they did not disappoint. ***1/2

UltraMantis Black says although he and Fire Ant have much in common, he will take him down simply because he is in his way of getting the CHIKARA singles championship. Mantis says after being in the company for ten years, the singles title is something he greatly desires. He warns Fire Ant to be ready.

“12 Large: Summit” Tournament Match (Block B)
Fire Ant {C} (0 Points) vs. UltraMantis Black {SE} (0 Points)

Mantis breaks a lock-up cleanly in the corner. Fire Ant takes him over in a fireman’s carry. Mantis ducks a kick and reaches a stand-off with Fire Ant. Fire Ant kicks Mantis in the shoulders after a double wrist clutch. He hits the Yahtzee Kick and a brainbuster for two. Fire Ant delivers a rolling forearm, an antzuigiri and a dropkick. Mantis rolls to the apron. Mantis drops Fire Ant neck first on the ropes and runs him back first into the ring apron. He whips Fire Ant shoulder first into the ring post. Fire Ant rolls in after a breather, and Mantis pins him immediately for two. Mantis chokes Fire Ant with his boot in the corner. Mantis gut wrench suplexes him for two. Mantis traps Fire Ant’s arm while twisting on his ankle. He turns it into a quarter crab and Fire Ant grabs the ropes to break the submission. Mantis chops him in the clavicle. He delivers a spinebuster and rolls into the Safari Stretch. Fire Ant sends Mantis to the apron to avoid the Praying Mantis Bomb. Fire Ant knocks him to the floor and follows with a suicide dive. He runs back in for a tope con hilo. Mantis and Fire Ant fight on the ring apron. Mantis powerslams Fire Ant onto the ring apron, wowing the fans. Mantis is surprised to only get a two count. Mantis delivers a Sweeney Stomp. Fire Ant blocks Cosmic Disaster with a stunner. Mantis goes for a double underhook superplex. Instead, Fire Ant pushes him off and hits the Heat of the Moment. Fire Ant hits the Beach Break for two. Fire Ant brings Mantis up the ropes. Mantis throws him off with a double underhook suplex. He hits the Cosmic Disaster for two. Mantis follows up with the Praying Mantis Bomb for the pin at 12:46. You could feel just how badly both men wanted to win this match, as demonstrated by the crazy moves and such they threw at one another. This is yet another unique and top notch match that the 12 Large: Summit has made possible. ***1/4

Eddie Kingston vs. Colt Cabana

Kingston knees Cabana in the stomach and throws him to the floor. Kingston goes after him but Cabana gets right back in the ring. This sequence happens again. Kingston comes back in and gets thrown out again. Cabana baseball slides Kingston down. He pitches Kingston back into the ring. Cabana kicks him in the head and rolls Kingston into a sunset flip for two. He trips Kingston. Kingston pushes Cabana into the ropes. Cabana grabs his legs. Kingston pushes him off the ropes, and Cabana dives into a folding press for two. Cabana blocks a Saito suplex. Kingston knees him in the stomach and delivers a gord buster. Kingston headbutts Cabana in the mid-section and doublestomps him in the same area. Kingston applies a body vice. Cabana muscles out. He goes for a splash and Kingston gets his knees up to block. Kingston whips Cabana chest first into the corner for two. Kingston drives Kingston stomach first across his knee. Vin Gerard is shown ringside watching the match. Cabana evades a belly-to-belly suplex and delivers the Flip, Flop and Fly. Cabana delivers some overhand chops. Cabana gets two with a flying hip attack. Kingston hits a mafia kick to block the Flying Asshole. Kingston body vices Cabana and looks for a Guillotine Choke. Cabana rolls to the ropes to break. Cabana drops Kingston chest and stomach first on the top rope. Kingston blocks the Colt 45 with the Backfirst to the Future for the pin at 9:00. Not nearly as fun or interesting as you might expect. The match was just kicking into a new gear when the bell rang. Not much to see here, unfortunately. **1/4

Acid Jaz says it doesn’t matter what happened to Da Soul Touchaz in the past, because now they’re in Chicago. Marshe Rockett says their feud with the BDK ends tonight in their hometown. Richardson says the BDK’s behinds belong to them.

Marshe Rockett {ST}, Acid Jaz {ST} & Willie “da Bomb” Richardson {ST} vs. Tursas {BDK}, Tim Donst {BDK} & Jakob Hammermeier {BDK}

Hammermeier is replacing Ares, who dropped out of the weekend due to a family emergency. A brawl ensues between the trios before the bell. In the ring, Jaz drops Donst with a spinebuster. Donst bails to the floor to rejoin the frackas. Richardson brings Donst back in and delivers strikes in the corner. Hammermeier’s strike from behind has no effect. Richardson chases him to the floor. They end up back in the ring, and Donst chop blocks Richardson’s leg out. The BDK trio take turns wearing down Richardson, going as far as to choke him with his own Chicago Bulls jersey. Richardson suplexes Donst and Hammermeier simultaneously, which allows him to tag in Rockett. Bryce Remsburg however did not see the tag. The BDK go right back to work, targeting Richardson’s leg and throat with their attacks. Richardson delivers a haymaker to Donst to tag in Rockett for real. Rockett dropkicks Tursas to the floor and hits a tope. Jaz lights up Donst with a series of kicks. Donst bulldogs him. Jaz throws him with a leg-capture suplex. Jaz delivers a backbreaker/STO combo before jumping on Hammermeier with a pescado. Tursas rams Rockett into the ring post. Sara Del Rey distracts the referee. Claudio Castagnoli comes into the ring with a steel pipe. However, Soul Touchaz manager C-Red comes in and nails Claudio with the pipe. Richardson pounces Tursas and Rockett delivers the M-80 to Donst. Jaz levels Hammermeier wih the pipe and gives it to C-Red to dispose of. Bryce comes back from disposing of Sara. Richardson Drops The Bomb on Hammermeier for the pin at 11:34. The crowd went ballistic for the finish as Da Soul Touchaz got the ultimate revenge on the BDK in their hometown. C-Red’s re-emergence after being retired by the BDK was an awesome touch to this feuds excellent conclusion. ***

Da Soul Touchaz celebrate with their usual chant as the fans continue to applaud them and chant “Chicago”.

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