Danbury, CT – 4.3.2010
Amasis & Ophidian vs. Zombified
This was supposed to be a tag team match, with Zombified teaming with Izzie Deadyet, but Deadyet never came out. The Portal double team Zombified. Zombified goes to the floor when The Portal side steps his attack. Amasis dances in a wristlock. He tags in Ophidian who trips Zombified and follows up by hypnotizing him. The Portal do the MC Hammer dance. Zombified slams Ophidian in the center of the ring. Zombified chokes Ophidian in the corner. Zombified chokes Ophidian and drops him with a backdrop style suplex. Amasis comes in with a big crossbody. He follows up with a leg lariat, and Zombified gives him a yakuza kick. Zombified stomps away at Amasis and hits him with a forearm. Zombified throws Amasis head first into the corner. Zombified hits a couple double stomps on him. Zombified headbutts Amasis. Zombified rips off and pus his own nipple in his mouth. No, you did not read that sentence incorrectly. Zombified gives Amasis a urinage backbreaker. Amasis tags in Ophidian who lights up Zombified with chops. Ophidian boots him in the head a couple times before hitting a quebrada for two. Zombified sends Ophidian to the floor and Amasis dropkicks Zombified’s legs out. Amasis lands a leg drop on the back of Zombified’s head for two. Ophidian headstands in the corner, and comes down into a tornado DDT. Amasis drops Zombified with a spinebuster and Ophidian hits a running standing shooting star press for two. Zombified avoids a double team attack and hits stereo chokeslams on The Portal for two. Ophidian gives Zombified a spin kick and Amasis drops him with an STO. The Portal hit him with a double leg sweep slam. The follow up with the Osirian Sacrament for the pin at 9:42. This was a very fun opening match with some real good wrestling. The Portal is criminally underrated outside of CHIKARA, and the Zombified schtick worked really well. **3/4
The Badd Boys (Brad & Chad Badd) laid out a “Badd Challenge” for this show. Vin Badd (hmmm, I wonder who that could be) comes out. He says last time he was here he had a bad time when he kissed two guys and got beat up by his brothers. He said he came here with some bad dudes. Vin says they have yet another brother, a gay brother named Glaad Badd (that’s pretty clever). Brad and Chad come out saying that Glaad isn’t there brother. He calls them out to the floor.
Brad & Chad Badd vs. Vin Badd & Glaad Badd
The Badd Boys beat on Glaad while Brad talks on the microphone. Brad beats on Glaad in the ring. Brad pulls Glaad by his hair and punches Vin off the apron. Chad drops an elbow on Glaad’s pink bandana and kicks Vin on the apron. Brad and Chad whip Glaad with a belt. Brad chokes Glaad with the belt and Chad kicks Glaad in the face. Brad misses a splash and Vin tags in. Vin throws Glaad and he gives Brad a cock to the anus. Chad throws Vin to the floor and Chad kicks Glaad in the balls. The Badd’s hit the Badd Move and smash a bottle of Zima over Vin Badd’s head to win the match at 5:44. This was pretty ridiculous but I enjoy the Badd Boys’ stuff so I enjoyed it. Wrestling wise it was ultra basic, but this wasn’t meant to be a wrestling match anyways. *
Brad keeps attacking Glaad on the floor as Chad elbow drops the pink bandana again. Glaad gives Vin mouth to mouth to help him recover from the bottle attack.
ISW “Other” Championship
Moohammad the Terrorist Cow (Champion) vs. Dasher Hatfield
Hatfield attacks Moohammad right away, and Moohammad looks for a roll up. Hatfield gives Moohammad a Lou Thesz press. Hatfield fives him snake eyes and takes him off his feet with an underhand strike. Hatfield plays bull fighter using an American flag instead of a red one. Moohammad falls to the floor and Hatfield gives him a baseball slide. Hatfield holds Moohammad so that the fans can chop him. He asks the referee to hit him since he’s also an American. The referee obliges since Moohammad called him a ginger. Back in the ring, Moohammad misses a cannonball in the corner. Hatfeild gives him some wind up chops. Moohammad drops Hatfield with the Udder Cutter for two. Moohammad lays in some headbutts and chokes Hatfield on the ropes. Moohammad uppercuts Hatfield and Hatfield dropkicks Moohammad’s knees out. He dropkicks Moohammad in the side of the head for two. Moohammad pokes Hatfield in the eyes and headbutts Hatfield a couple times in the shoulder. Moohammad gives Hatfield the Lightning Spiral for two. Moohammad sends Hatfield to the floor. Moohammad brings him back in and wears Hatfield down. Moohammad locks in a variation of the Cattle Mutilation. Hatfield rolls Moohammad into a crossface chicken wing. Moohammad escapes but Moohammad hits a flying headbutt. Hatfeild nips up and superkicks Moohammad for two. Hatfield knees Moohammad to block a spear. Hatfield drops Moohammad in a snapmare driver variation for two. Moohammad gives Hatfield a half-and-half suplex and pins him for two. Moohammad hits Hatfield with a top rope Samoan spike for the pin at 11:00. This was quite a good match. Dasher is so awesome and Moohammad was shockingly very good. They had a really good match and cut the bullshit for a little bit, which was refreshing for this show at the moment. ***
Player Uno vs. Eddie Kingston
Uno attacks Kingston in the entrance way. They brawl into the restroom and the door closes so we can’t see what’s going on. Finally, Uno and Kingston emerge and Uno is shoving toilet paper in Kingston’s mouth. Kingston beats up Uno around the ringside area. Uno chops Kingston on the stage. Kingston grabs Uno by the throat and pushes him off the stage. This fight gets taken outside to the parking lot. Uno and Kingston trade shots to the face. Kingston throws Uno face first into a brick wall. Kingston punches Uno in a headlock. Uno throws Kingston’s face into the brick wall. Kingston forces Player Uno to motorboat the merchandise girl, and Uno returns the favor. They finally get into the ring to officially start the match. Kingston knocks Uno down and pretends to skeet on him. Kingston threatens a little kid, and Uno kicks the middle rope into his crotch. Kingston lights up Uno with chops in the corner. Uno gets some chops in, but Kingston punches him in the face to stop him. Kingston snapmares Uno into a rear chinlock. Kingston knee lifts Uno in the belly as he comes off the ropes. Kingston stomps on Uno’s mid-section. Kingston misses a splash and Uno clothesline Kingston down three times. He sole butts Kingston and follows up with a DDT. Uno gives Kingston a hadouken for two. Kingston nails Uno with the Backfist to the Future and drops him on his head with a backdrop driver. Uno bails to the floor. He’s able to get back in the ring after some admiration from the crowd. Uno rolls up Kingston with an inside cradle. He hits his own backfist and it does nothing to Kingston. Uno hits a few Falcon punches and an enzugiri. Uno nails him with a big Falcon punch for the pin at 6:27 (although there was a good five minutes of action before the bell officially rang). This was a fun, crazy brawl to end the show. Kingston is great when he’s able to let loose and Uno is one underrated dude. **3/4