Never Kneel at the Altar of Conformity


Reading, PA – 7.31.2009

Commentary is provided by Bryce Remsburg, UltraMantis Black, Louden Noxious, Leonard F. Chikarason, and Colin Delaney.

Opening the DVD is a “Previously at CHIKARA…” video, as well as trailers for “Aniversario Yin” and “Aniversario Yang.”

Louden Noxious then sings us a song called “CHIKARA Summer School.”

Dragonfly vs. Rorschach

Rorschach backs Dragonfly to the corner. He tries a double axe handle but Dragonfly rolls him away. They trade control in a test of strength. Dragonfly monkey flips Rorschach while holding onto the double knuckle lock. He snaps off a pair of armdrags and lands a dropkick. He sends Rorschach out with a headscissors. Dragonfly follows with a tope con hilo. Rorschach kicks him in the side of the head as he makes his way back into the ring. He gives Dragonfly a side slam and a slingshot elbow. He stretches out Dragonfly’s back and chops him in the corner. Rorschach hip tosses Dragonfly out of the corner for two. Rorschach knee strikes Dragonfly to the ring apron. Dragonfly slingshots back in and lands a tornado DDT. He chops Rorschach against the ropes. After a leaping back elbow, he hits another one in the corner. Rorschach takes Dragonfly down with the Sling Blade. Rorschach steps up into a clothesline for two. Dragonfly sits down on a Gory Stretch to snap Rorschach’s neck. He tries a tornado DDT. Rorschach counters with two Northern Lights suplexes. Dragonfly drops him with a spinning headlock elbow drop. Rorschach kicks out at two and applies the Rorschach Lock. Dragonfly escapes. He enzuigiri’s’ Rorschach and applies a Dragon Sleeper. Rorschach taps at 8:34. This was a fun blast from the past. Dragonfly looked really good, while Rorschach was a bit more timid. It was good for the novelty and appropriate for a “Fan Appreciation Night.” **

Daizee Haze vs. Rayna Von Tosh {ROH}

Haze attacks Tosh as she takes off her gloves. Tosh hops over a corner attack attempt and brings down Haze in a side headlock. Haze quickly reverses into a headscissors. Tosh reapplies the headlock. Haze shoots her off and shoulder blocks her down. Tosh blocks a hip toss with an armdrag. She brings Haze back down in the side headlock. Haze escapes and drop toe holds Tosh into the bottom rope. Haze applies a chinlock. She gets two with a suplex. Tosh fights back to a side headlock. Haze again shoots her off, but this time Tosh catches Haze with a neckbreaker. Tosh goes for a bulldog. Haze sends her to the corner and kicks her in the side of the head. The Mind Trip gets her the win at 3:15. The point of this match was for Haze to show her dominance, and in that it was effective. Tosh showed some promise, but obviously this was not her moment to shine. *

Vin Gerard calls Frightmare and Hydra jokes. Colin Delaney says Hallowicked thinks of himself as some kind of monster, but they have a monster of their own in STIGMA, and he’s going to prove why he’s the only true monster in CHIKARA.

Hallowicked {I}, Frightmare {I} & Hydra {SD} vs. Vin Gerard {U}, STIGMA {U} & Colin Delaney {U}

Delaney instantly tosses Frightmare out. Gerard tosses out Hydra. STIGMA dropkicks Hallowicked to the corner and chops him. He misses a facewash kick and Hallowicked rolls him up for two. He chops and stomps STIGMA in the corner before taking him off the top with a super snapmare for two. He and Hydra double hip toss STIGMA. STIGMA rolls out. Hydra armdrags Gerard twice and delivers a dropkick. Hydra headscissors him to the corner and headbutts him in the stomach to the floor. Delaney fights off Frightmare’s step-up Frankensteiner. Frightmare dropkicks STIGMA off the apron and then successfully pulls off the move on Delaney. Frightmare tope con hilo’s onto Gerard and STIGMA. Back in the ring, Delaney attacks Frightmare from behind and bodyslams him. The UnStable isolate Frightmare for awhile in their half of the ring. Frightmare eventually catches Gerard with a tornado DDT and tags in Hydra. He mows down Delaney with elbows and forearms. He drops Delaney with a hooking clothesline. STIGMA attacks Hydra, looking for a powerbomb. When he can’t get it, he tosses Hydra to the floor. Hallowicked blasts STIGMA with a yakuza kick, which STIGMA absorbs. A second kick takes him down but Gerard breaks the pin and rakes Hallowicked’s back. He drops Hallowicked with an STO. STIGMA drives Frightmare into his knee with a neckbreaker. Hydra breaks his cover. Hallowicked hits Go 2 Sleepy Hollow on STIGMA. Frightmare hits Kneecolepsy. Gerard locks Frightmare in the STF. Hydra lifts Gerard up into the Hydra Lock. Delaney attacks Hydra to break it. Hydra goes for the Hydra Lock on him. Delaney slips out, so Hydra tries a pin. Delaney kicks out. He rolls through Hydra’s crucifix pin and lands a basement lariat. The Attitude Adjustment gets Delaney the pin at 13:42. This seemed like an odd filler trios bout. It didn’t advance anything, it didn’t seem to exist for any concrete reason, and the action was just okay. Frankly, I would have strongly preferred a tag match and left Hydra and STIGMA out of this. **

Claudio Castagnoli vs. Tim Donst {SD}

Claudio powers Donst to the corner. He takes him down in a wristlock. Donst trips Claudio and traps his legs around his thighs. Claudio escapes. He looks for a seatbelt pin, but Donst maneuvers out of it. Donst counters Claudio’s Magistral cradle attempt with a side headlock, which Claudio quickly escapes from. Donst tries a headscissors, but Claudio key locks his legs. More positioning leads to Claudio gut wrench suplexing Donst. He rolls him into a front facelock. Donst reverses it. Claudio suplexes out of it. He gets two with a butterfly suplex. Donst escapes a side headlock. Claudio catches him with a powerslam for two. He puts on a chinlock. Donst avoids a corner attack and sunset flips Claudio for two. A couple quick pin attempts have the same result. Claudio lariats him for two. He reapplies the chinlock. He tries a deadlift German suplex. Donst counters with an armdrag. He alita’s Claudio and chops him in the chest. Donst busts out a tilt-a-whirl headscissors for two. Same goes for the Donstitution. Claudio Giant Swings him for two. Swiss Chin Music gets him a two count. Claudio wants the Ricola Bomb. Donst escapes it twice and goes for the CHIKARA Special. Claudio gets his foot on the ropes before Donst can lock it on. Donst hangs Claudio on the second rope. He hits the Donst Cap and German suplexes him out of the corner for two. Donst takes off his head gear and pulls down his straps. He goes for a Gator Roll. Claudio uppercuts his way out of it and hits the Ricola Bomb for the pin at 11:05. This was a fine showcase for Donst, showing his technical proficiency and even surprising the crowd with a little Lucha. Given that Claudio lost to Eddie Kingston with an Oklahoma Roll, it made sense for Claudio to take this opportunity to try and better his counter and escape game. Not to mention that it may have given Claudio a little incentive to include Donst in something he had coming up later in the year. **¾

Grizzly Redwood says he and Brodie Lee aren’t walking through the CHIKARA woods for fun and games: they’re here for gold. They’re the best at tag team wrestling. Lee says they’re picking up their second point tonight, their third point soon after that, then the gold after that.

Cheech Hernandez & KC ‘Cloudy’ Day vs. Brodie Lee {R} & Grizzly Redwood {R}

Grizzly and Brodie smash a fabulous homemade fan sign. Cloudy and Redwood lock-up to a stalemate. Redwood tries a hip toss, but Cloudy reverses with a pair of armdrags. Redwood trips him in a double knuckle lock. Cloudy catapults up into a Frankensteiner. He and Cheech hit the Broken Arrow. They double Russian leg sweep Redwood for two. Lee goes for a big boot. Cloudy ducks it, but Redwood catches him with his boot. Cloudy slides out when Lee goes for a body block. He and Cheech trade forearms. Lee body blocks him against the ropes. Cheech ducks some elbows and brings Lee down with a Thesz Press. Lee kicks him to the corner. Cheech forearms him in the opposite corner. Lee knocks him down with a rolling clothesline. The Roughnecks bully Cheech until he slams Redwood out of the corner and snaps Lee’s neck across the top rope. Cloudy comes in with a top rope dropkick to Lee. He takes down Redwood with a back elbow and drops Lee with a tornado DDT. He gives Redwood a sit out urranage slam for two. They try for Partly Cloudy with a chance of Cheech. Redwood trips Cheech and brings him outside. Lee locks Cloudy in a cloverleaf. Cheech tries breaking it, but Lee catches him with a thrust to the throat. Lee superkicks Cheech into a headscissors from Redwood. Lee half-nelson suplexes Cheech. Cloudy breaks the pin. Lee tosses Redwood into Cloudy. Cloudy puts his feet up, then blocks a big boot from Lee. Redwood double axe handles Cloudy in the chest. Cloudy drives his knees into Redwood’s chest. Cheech Superman spears him, then slingshots him into a Complete Shot from Cloudy. They hit the Tidal Wave. Lee breaks the cover. Cheech and Cloudy hit him tandem forearms and an enzuigiri/superkick combo. They hit Partly Cloudy with a chance of Cheech on Redwood. They go for Death by Knee. Lee gets up, so Cloudy tries a crossbody. Lee catches him and slams him down. Lee big boots Cheech. Redwood double axe handles Cheech off of Lee’s shoulders. Cloudy breaks the pin. Redwood takes him to the floor. Lee Doctor Bombs Cheech for the pin at 13:25. Lee always has great chemistry with Cheech and Cloudy and this was no different. Redwood held up his bargain and played his role really well. The action never stopped and the crowd got into it. ***

Amasis says there is no way Lince Dorado is beating him tonight. In his homeland of Egypt, cats are well revered. However, in this cold word, cats are skinned alive. Amasis says Dorado will suffer the same fate.

Lince Dorado {TFN} vs. Amasis {OP}

Dorado and Amasis go tit-for-tat in offense. They each get a quick two count, then reach a stalemate after attempting stereo dropkicks. Dorado armdrags Amasis to the ropes. He gives Amasis a satellite headscissors. Amasis brings Dorado off of the second rope with a side Russian legsweep. Amasis follows Dorado to the floor with a tope con hilo over one of the ring posts. Back in the ring, Amasis pummels and chokes Dorado on the mat. Dorado ducks a clothesline, but Amasis catches him coming off the ropes with a spinebuster. Amasis misses the People’s Elbow. Although Amasis leapfrogs over him, Dorado catches him after he comes down with a superkick. Amasis tries catapulting Dorado to the floor, but Dorado lands on him with a legdrop on the apron. He follows Amasis out with a Sasuke Special. Dorado lands a sprigboard seated senton back in the ring. A spinwheel kick follows. He gets two with a standing moonsault. Amasis comes off the second rope with a shoulder tackle. He spears Dorado in the corner. Dorado comes off the top. Amasis catches him mid-air with a slam. He hits a second rope 450 splash for two. He lifts Dorado up for two powerbombs. The third time, Dorado counters with a spike huracanrana for two. He dropkicks Amasis to the corner and Tiger walks up him. A palm strike and leaping Frankensteiner lead to a running shooting star press. Amasis kicks out. Dorado spikes him with a running flipping DDT. Amasi kicks out. The injured Ophidian inconspicuously crawls out. Dorado kicks him away when he tries to attack. Ophidian tosses his cast in the ring to divert referee Nick Papagiorgio. Amasis hits Dorado with the Egyptian Conniption (A Razor’s Edge into a Complete Shot) for the pin at 9:35. I was not expecting much, but these two really impressed. Both guys brought their A game and provided some really impressive and innovative offense. It might be the most crisp Dorado has ever looked and it was a good match for Amasis to debut a new finisher. I’d consider this somewhat of a hidden gem. ***¼

Mike Quackenbush & Jigsaw vs. Icarus {F} & Gran Akuma {F}

Last Saturday, Gran Akuma (along with Dragon Gate’s YAMATO) attacked Mike Quackenbush and Jigsaw after an impressive eight man tag match at Dragon Gate USA’s debut event. Jigsaw attacks Akuma right away. They exchange kicks to the shoulder. Jigsaw sends him out with a leg lariat. Icarus dropkicks Jigsaw to the floor. He shoulder blocks Quackenbush. Quackenbush rolls him into a key lock. He then backdrops Icarus to the floor. Akuma misses a dropkick. Quackenbush launches off of Akuma’s back into a tope con hilo onto Icarus. He hits the Quackendriver III on Akuma for two. Icarus powerslams Quackenbush on his bad back and digs his knee into it. Icarus continues to focus his offense on Quackenbush’s back. Akuma does the same. Quackenbush smartly hits the floor when Icarus whips him to the corner. Jigsaw gets in some strikes before landing a second rope dropkick. His offense is cut off when he misses a back elbow in the corner and eats F.I.S.T. Kicks. F.I.S.T. work over his left leg. Icarus sneaks in a back cracker on Quackenbush on the ring apron during the beat down. Jigsaw manages to roll to the floor, but with Quackenbush in no condition to take his place, F.I.S.T. continue to do some damage. Jigsaw leap frogs over a charge from Icarus, causing him to splash Akuma. Quackenbush palm strikes Icarus. Jigsaw and Quackenbush hit double knees in opposite corners. They set up Icarus so that Akuma powerbombs him. Quackenbush drives his knees into Icarus’ chest as Jigsaw rolls up Akuma for two. Jigsaw throws some superkicks at Akuma. Akuma ducks one and tries for the Rubix Cube. Jigsaw slips out and superkicks Akuma again. Icarus breaks his pin. Jigsaw enzuigiri’s Icarus into a mule kick from Quackenbush. He drops Icarus with a brainbuster for two. Quackenbush backslides Icarus. Akuma picks up Quackenbush in a gutwrench powerbomb. Jigsaw enzuigiri’s Icarus. Akuma picks up Jigsaw and tosses him into an Ace Crusher from Icarus. Quackenbush breaks the pin. Akuma powerslams Quackenbush. He powerbombs Icarus onto his back for two. Akuma German suplexes Jigsaw. He goes for a Dragon sleeper. Quackenbush however gives Akuma a reverse brainbuster instead for two. Icarus sends Jigsaw out with a Diamond Dust. He spinebusters Quackenbush for a one count. Akuma distracts referee Nick Papagiorgio so Icarus can low blow Quackenbush. He then hits the Blu-Ray for the pin at 14:03. This was VERY heated, told a great story, and had some really great action. F.I.S.T. have been on an absolute tear all year long and I look forward to seeing what else they have in store for 2009. ***½

The Order of the Neo-Solar Temple are together. Mantis said he told everyone in Japan that the Order is unstoppable with Delirious in their corner. Crossbones asks where the Eye of Tyr is. Mantis says it’s locked away. Crossbones reminds him that legend has it that bad things will befall them if he doesn’t give it away. Mantis says he won’t give it away. Crossbones says why not give it to him? Mantis thinks that it is a poor idea, as he may recruit someone foolish like Sami Callihan or that snicklefritz Pinkie Sanchez. He wants complete power. He’s about to tell Crossbones some more information when he notices the camera man. He sicks Crossbones and Delirious on him.

Fire Ant {C}, Soldier Ant {C} & Green Ant {C} vs. UltraMantis Black {ONT}, Crossbones {ONT} & Delirious {ONT}

This is Green Ant’s debut. Delirious knees him in the stomach and tosses him to the floor. Fire Ant goes to Burn Down the House, but Delirious cuts him off and throws him outside. Delirious fights off Soldier Ant’s waistlock. Soldier Ant takes him down with a saluting armdrag and a headscissors. He and Fire Ant double flapjack Delirious. Mantis attacks Fire Ant as Delirious slips to the floor. Fire Ant fireman’s carry’s Mantis, then rolls him into a tornado clutch for two. He and Green Ant double hip toss Mantis into a senton/legdrop combo. Green Ant’s shoulder blocks to Crossbones have no effect. Soldier Ant sneaks behind Crossbones, allowing Green Ant to shoulder block him into a schoolyard trip. Fire Ant hits a flip senton, Soldier Ant lands a diving headbutt. Green Ant misses a splash. All of the Order get in offense, including a splash from Crossbones. The Order wear down the resilient rookie while keeping his partners at bay. Green Ant finally escapes when he catches Delirious with a flying headbutt and tags in Soldier Ant. Soldier Ant ducks Delirious’ clothesline and dropkicks Crossbones to the floor. He takes Delirious to the corner. Mantis cuts him off with a boot. Fire Ant hits Mantis with the Heat of the Moment as Soldier Ant delivers a diving headbutt to Delirious in the corner. The Colony then hit stereo tope con hilo’s onto Mantis and Delirious. Fire Ant brings Mantis back in and gets a two count. Crossbones hits the ropes to knock Fire Ant off the top rope. Green Ant fastball punches Crossbones in the back. Crossbones crescent kicks him. He and Delirious double shoulder block Green Ant. Delirious drop toe holds him into a back splash from Crossbones and a senton from Mantis. Soldier Ant and Fire Ant chop up Crossbones in the corner. Green Ant helps them whip Crossbones into Mantis. They both fall victim to the Ants Marching dropkick. Delirious comes in but takes triple boots. The Colony attempt the Ant Hill. Crossbones picks up Fire Ant and gives him an over the shoulder backbreaker. Mantis gives Soldier Ant a double underhook backbreaker. Delirious drops Green Ant with a Cobra Clutch backbreaker. The Order triple chokeslam Green Ant. Soldier Ant breaks Mantis’ pin. He goes for the CHIKARA Special. Delirious drills Soldier Ant in the back of the head with a knee. Fire Ant antzuigiri’s Delirious as he ascends the ropes. He tosses him off with a modified fireman’s carry. Fire Ant Burns Down the House. Green Ant splashes Delirious for two. He puts on a cloverleaf. Crossbones frees his partner. He accidentally clotheslines Delirious and Mantis. Soldier Ant comes off the top rope and sunset flips Crossbones for the pin at 16:24. Very fun trios action. The Order look stronger than ever, and although he didn’t get to do much here aside from be beat down, Green Ant looked like he fit in with Fire and Soldier Ant right from the start. The ending was somewhat anti-climatic, but it at least made sense. ***¼


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