Aniversario Yang


Philadelphia, PA – 5.24.2009

Commentary is provided by Bryce Remsburg, Eddie Kingston, Louden Noxious, Leonard F. Chikarason, UltraMantis Black, and Mike Quackenbush.

El Hijo del Ice Cream {IC} & Ice Cream Jr. {IC} vs. Brodie Lee {R} & Grizzly Redwood {R}

Jr. snaps Redwood’s suspenders. Redwood kicks him in the side of the head and double axe handles the back. Jr. trips him and snaps the back of his suspenders. Redwood delivers a jawbreaker and double axe handles Jr. in the back. Lee blasts him with a right hand. Jr. slips away and tags in Hijo who poses on the ropes to the crowd. He pinches Lee in the buttocks. Lee chases Hijo around the ring. Hijo avoids his crotch being rammed into the ring post and comes off the apron with a seated senton. Jr. scoop slams Redwood. Hijo misses a running headbutt to Redwood. Lee big boots Jr. as he checks on Hijo. Redwood kicks Hijo in the face. Lee gives him some strikes before tossing him to the floor. Lee then beats down on Jr. He gives him a tiger suplex for two. Jr. slips out. Hijo dropkicks Lee to the floor. Redwood chops Hijo. He gives Hijo a modified sunset flip, but Hijo rolls through and dropkicks him. Jr. clotheslines Redwood and Lee. Lee uses Redwood as a battering ram to knock down Los Ice Creams. Redwood pins them both with Lee stepping on him for the pin at 8:55. That was a clever (and possibly illegal finish?) and they strayed from the usual tag formula to make it a more interesting bout. It was a genuinely interesting styles clash, and Eddie Kingston singing Johnny Cash on commentary is a gem. *

Arik Cannon vs. Ophidian {OP}

Ophidian trips Cannon and picks his ankle. Cannon brings him back up and snapmares him out of a hammerlock. Ophidian’s shoulder block attempts are futile. Cannon mows him down with a running forearm. Ophidian responds with a chinbreaker. Cannon snaps off an armdrag and holds onto an armbar. Ophidian shoves Cannon to the corner and drives his shoulder into his mid-section. Cannon drives Ophidian’s face into the canvas and gets two with a dropkick. Ophidian sends Cannon to the mat by his mohawk, then hits a running knee strike for two. He puts on a legged full nelson, then turns Cannon into a Gedo Clutch for two. Ophidian drives his head into Cannon’s mid-section. Cannon ducks a clothesline and drops Ophidian with a twisting neckbreaker for two. Ophidian Skins the Snake and hits a spinwheel kick for one. He applies a seated abdominal stretch. Cannon cuts off a headscissors attempt by dropping Ophidian onto his face and chest. He lands a leaping back elbow and an exploder suplex. Cannon misses a moonsault. Ophidian hits the Duat Driver for two. Cannon avoids the Death Grip. He goes for a brainbuster and Ophidian turns it into the Death Grip. Cannon maneuvers him back into the brainbuster for two. Ophidian ducks the Glimmering Warlock. He spin kicks Cannon and gives him a fisherman’s suplex for two. Cannon tries a Saito suplex. Ophidian escapes. Cannon blasts him with a haymaker and turns him inside out with a lariat. Total Anarchy is only good for two. Amasis sneaks his way ringside. He grabs Cannon by his boot. The distraction allows Ophidian to O’Connor Roll him with a back bridge for the pin at 10:56. This was excellent, back-and-forth wrestling that the crowd ate up. The nearfalls were believable and each competitor looked very strong. The finish was unnecessary but didn’t take away from the action that preceded it. ***

Player Uno {SSB}, Player Dos {SSB} & Create-A-Wrestler vs. UltraMantis Black {ONT}, Crossbones {ONT} & Delirious {ONT}

Delirious attacks Uno and Dos on the apron and Uncle Slam’s Wrestler. Uno gets in some shots on Delirious. He strings an armdrag, hip toss, and dropkick together. Crossbones catches Dos’ crossbody attempt. Dos rolls out of his arms and tags in Wrestler. Wrestler’s shoulder blocks are useless. Wrestler kicks his leg out and gives him a basement bulldog. Dos tries slamming Crossbones, but Crossbones’ weight causes him to collapse. Crossbones nails a lariat. Delirious suplexes Dos twice before giving him an arm-capture belly-to-back suplex. Mantis does some damage to Dos’ back and neck. He chokes him after some Mongolian Chops. Mantis puts on a body vice. Delirious tries a suplex, but Dos small packages him for two. Delirious elbows him back down. Delirious and Crossbones double shoulder block Dos. Delirious trips him into a splash from Crossbones and a back senton from Mantis for two. Crossbones splashes him in the corner. Dos avoids a second and third splash but takes a Samoan Drop. Dos drops Crossbones with a DDT. He rolls through Delirious’ wheelbarrow suplex attempt and tags in Uno. He gives Mantis a quesadora backbreaker. Crossbones body blocks Uno, sending Uno to the floor. Wrestler high crossbody’s onto Delirious and Crossbones. He clotheslines Mantis. Delirious headbutts Wrestler to stop him from giving Mantis a modified Beach Break. Wrestler fights off Delirious and hits Mantis with a Death Valley Driver. Uno hits a top rope elbow drop for two. Dos dropkicks Crossbones. Uno gives him the Goomba Stomp. Delirious catches Wrestler mid-air with a headbutt to the stomach. Dos eats a triple chokeslam. Uno breaks Crossbones’ pin. Dos double Pele kicks Delirious and Mantis. Crossbones looks for a Samoan Drop. Uno and Wrestler kick him in the side of the head. They suicide dive onto Delirious and Mantis respectively. Dos successfully gives Crossbones a Death Valley Driver for two. Dos dives out to the floor onto Crossbones and Wrestler. In the ring, Delirious gives Uno a Cobra Clutch suplex. The Panic Attack and Praying Mantis Bomb follow. Mantis gets the pin at 10:30. This was a good, strong way to establish the rebirth of the Order. A couple minor flubs aside this was a fun Trios contest. **¾

Vin Gerard reminds us that Colin Delaney pinned D’Lo Brown at King of Trios weekend and that he beat Glacier last month. Gerard wants to know when it all will end. Delaney says tonight sounds good. Leonard F. Chikarason steps in. He asks Delaney what the flood of threatening voicemails to him means. Delaney says he has no idea what he’s talking about, but tells Chikarason to stop bothering him, or else he’ll file another complaint with Dave Coulier.

Glacier & D’Lo Brown vs. Vin Gerard {U} & Colin Delaney {U}

The UnStable attack before the bell. Delaney is sent out by Glacier. Gerard avoids the Cryonic kick, but eats a punch and lariat from Brown. Delaney sneaks in. Brown gives him some punches. He snapmares him into a palm strike from Glacier. Glacier flips Delaney to the mat and legdrops his arm. He armdrags Delaney into an armbar and drives his knee into it. Delaney drives his shoulder into Glacier’s mid-section in the corner. Glacier avoids a corner attack and armdrags Delaney back into an armdrag. Glacier and Brown each get in some shots. The UnStable regroup on the floor. Brown pescado’s onto Gerard. All four men fight on the floor. Brown slams Gerard on the entrance ramp. STIGMA emerges and sends Brown into a pole while Bryce Remsburg is dealing with Delaney and Glacier. With that, the UnStable are able to isolate Brown from Glacier in their half of the ring. Brown escapes their grasp by catching Delaney with a back cracker. Gerard bails when he sees Glacier has tagged in. Glacier hip tosses Delaney and gives him some open hand strikes to the chest. Glacier slams Delaney out of a crossbody position. Gerard breaks the cover. Gerard STO’s Glacier. Delaney hits a diving lariat. Brown breaks the cover. The UnStable take double backdrops. They avoid punches in the corner. Delaney sends Glacier out. He puts Brown in a sleeper. Brown throws him off of his back and puts Delaney in the CHIKARA Special! Gerard tries breaking free, but Brown keeps it on. Glacier Cryonic kicks Gerard for the pin at 12:02. Easily the strongest match involving Glacier and Gerard. They kept things simple but told a good story. Brown locking on the CHIKARA Special got a BIG pop and Glacier finally hitting the Cryonic kick to get the end was the perfect way to end the feud. Sure, it does the UnStable no favors, but what can you do? **½

Glacier Cryonic kicks STIGMA as he runs in. Brown gives him the Frog Splash for good measure.

2.0 are backstage, but not talking. Instead, text scrolls across the bottom telling us that 2.0 have taken a vow of silence until they get another point towards title contention. 2.0 are visually frustrated and it’s quite amusing.

Tim Donst {SD} & Hydra {SD} vs. Jagged {2.0} & Shane Matthews {2.0}

Jagged claims that Hydra is on the gas. Matthews says he’s going to play a song on Donst’s guitar. He swings the guitar but misses. Hydra sends Jagged to the floor. Donst gives Matthews the Stroke. The Sea Donsters do the Fargo strut. Jagged pitches Hydra out. Donst gives Jagged an atomic drop. Donst belly-to-belly suplexes him in from the apron. Matthews puts Donst in the Boston Crab. He then puts Hydra in it when he goes to break up the hold. Back to Donst he goes. He then mistakenly puts Jagged in the hold. Matthews realizes it when he sees both Donsters. They leg sweep Matthews, then rowboat 2.0’s legs. Jagged Samoan drops Hydra for two. He back elbows Hydra. Matthews gives him a Side Russian legsweep. Jagged leg drops him on the second rope. Hydra sneaks on the Hydra Lock. Matthews breaks his partner free. Hydra kicks Matthews away. He goes for a sunset flip. Jagged turns it into a kneeling frog press for the pin at 3:53. Quick and fun; exactly the type of match these two teams should have together. Donst is frustrated with Hydra for the loss. *

Jigsaw is in the back with Helios and Lince Dorado. Dorado and Helios are upset because Equinox is hurt, so they don’t have a fourth partner for their Atomicos match, and that they lost last night and have no momentum going into the match. Jigsaw takes full responsibility for the loss, but says they need to move forward. Dorado wonders what they’re going to do for a partner. Mike Quackenbush steps in saying he is Plan B. He tells them not to worry about last night and to focus on a victory tonight.

Mike Quackenbush, Jigsaw, Lince Dorado {TFN} & Helios {TFN} vs. Hallowicked {I}, Frightmare {I}, Cheech Hernandez & KC ‘Cloudy’ Day

Cheech and Cloudy are cosplaying as Incoherence. A fast-paced Lucha exchange between Hallowicked and Quackenbush ends with Hallowicked being sent to the floor with a toreador. Quackenbush slams Frightmare onto his chest. Jigsaw gives him a slingshot double stomp. Cheech and Jigsaw armdrag one another and each goes for multiple pin attempts. Jigsaw chops Cheech in the corner, so Cheech overhand chops Dorado. Cheech dropkicks Dorado as he comes off the ropes with a dropkick to Jigsaw. Dorado dropkicks Cheech to the floor. Frightmare gives Dorado a step-up Frankensteiner and a pair of armdrags. Frightmare catapults up for another Frankensteiner. Dorado moonsaults off the top into an armdrag. Frightmare sends Dorado out with a diving clothesline and follows with a tope con hilo. Cloudy uses scare tactics on Helios. They exchange armdrags. Helios Tiger walks up Cloudy. Cloudy headscissors Helios to the floor. He goes for a dive, but Quackenbush backdrops him to the floor instead. Cheech big boots Quackenbush on the apron. Quackenbush catapults him to the floor as Jigsaw suicide dives onto Cheech. Dorado moonsaults onto Cheech. Frightmare looks to dive, but Quackenbush pops him up into a powerbomb. Quackenbush’s team take turns wearing down Frightmare. Frightmare is able to tag in Cloudy after nailing a diving clothesline onto Quackenbush. Jigsaw however quickly drops him with a torture rack bomb. Cloudy responds with a tornado DDT. Hallowicked yakuza kicks Jigsaw for two. He suplexes Jigsaw and tags in Cheech, who gets a two count with a folding press. Cloudy drives his knees into Jigsaw’s chest. He whips him into a boot from Hallowicked. Cheech hits a slingshot senton. Jigsaw superkicks Cloudy as he comes off the second rope. Helios headscissors Cheech. He spins off of Cheech’s shoulders with an armdrag, then cartwheels into a Frankensteiner. Helios German suplexes Cheech, then armdrags him to the floor. The Sasuke Special follows. Dorado blocks Hallowicked’s yakuza kick. He lands a Lynxsault for two. Jigsaw gives Frightmare a Manhattan Drop. Frightmare sweeps the legs and hits Kneecolepsy for two. Quackenbush palm strikes Frightmare. He puts him in the original Lightning Lock. Hallowicked breaks the hold. He baseball slides Quackenbush to the floor. Dorado takes Frightmare off the top with a Spanish Fly. Hallowicked makes the save. Dorado enzuigiri and spin kicks Hallowicked. He goes for a moonsault. Hallowicked gets his knees up. Go 2 Sleepy Hollow connects. Cheech and Cloudy hit Death by Knee for the win at 14:04. Crazy, fun, and exciting. This was exactly the type of match you would want and expect from eight agile, Lucha-inspired wrestlers. It was a showcase of the type of match CHIKARA prides itself on, which is fitting for an Aniversario show. ****

Eddie Kingston gives us the definition of insanity. His insanity is thinking that somebody like him can have friends, even though he was raised with the understanding that people are the worst animals, as they’ll stab you in the back. He says Claudio was his friend and roommate when Claudio first came to the U.S. When Kingston had to move back to New York, Claudio wasn’t there for him. He fast forwards to their singles match back in November which Kingston is proud of. He wasn’t embarrassed or upset that Claudio beat him, but he was upset that Claudio didn’t have the respect for him to shake his hand or say anything to him after the match. He’s embarrassed that a man with no respect or honor beat him. Kingston just wants to beat Claudio because he knows Claudio can’t stand it when somebody beats him. He’s going to humble Claudio by beating him in a wrestling match.

Claudio Castagnoli vs. Eddie Kingston {R}

Kingston and Claudio look for control on the mat. Claudio lifts Kingston up in a front facelock. Kingston gets the ropes and shoves Claudio away. Claudio shoves him back. He gives Kingston a gutwrench suplex. Kingston backs Claudio to the corner and slaps him in the face. Claudio slaps Kingston and gives him two more gutwrench suplexes for a one count. After slapping each other in the face, Claudio lays in some uppercuts and stomps. He nails a lariat for two. A diving uppercut to the neck yields the same result. Kingston rakes his eyes and delivers a uranage suplex. Kingston calls Claudio a coward, then pokes him in the eyes. Claudio slaps at his face multiple times, but Kingston lays in forearms to his shoulders and punches to the kidneys. Once again he rakes the eyes. He drop toe holds Claudio into a basement dropkick. Claudio fights back with strikes. Kingston knees him in the stomach and boots him in the side of the head. He stands on Claudio’s head. Claudio catches Kingston off the ropes and powers him into a Samoan Drop. Claudio throws some uppercuts. Kingston knees him in the stomach to cut him off. Claudio comes off the second rope with a diving uppercut. He Giant Swings Kingston. A running uppercut gets him a two count. Claudio tries a German suplex. Kingston turns it into a DDT. He hits the Sliding D for two. Kingston and Claudio trade blows while Claudio is on the ring apron. Kingston boots Claudio to the floor and suicide dives after him. They trade blows again, but this time it’s Kingston who is on the ring apron. Kingston brings Claudio to the apron where boots and chops are thrown. Claudio clotheslines Kingston back into the ring. Claudio uppercuts him on the second rope. He hits Swiss Chin Music from the floor, then springboards in with a twisting high crossbody for two. Kingston side steps another Swiss Chin Music. He deposits Claudio on his head with a Saito suplex, then hits a shotgun lariat for two. He headbutts Claudio in the corner. He yakuza kicks Claudio in the opposite corner. Claudio comes back with Swiss Chin Music. Kingston goes slap for uppercut with Claudio. That devolves into slaps. Claudio unloads with uppercuts. Kingston goes for the Backfist but takes an uppercut to the neck. Claudio gets two with the Alpamare Waterslide. He deadlifts Kingston into a German suplex for two. He goes for the Ricola Bomb. Kingston trips Claudio and Oklahoma Roll’s him for the pin at 17:51. This was excellent. Kingston did as promised, beating the wrestler with a wrestling move, resorting to an Oklahoma Roll when he couldn’t best Claudio when it came to striking or aerial offense. It gives Claudio a reason to want a rematch while keeping Kingston strong. A very good chapter in this feud. ***¾

Lucha de Apuesta – Masks vs. Hair
Fire Ant {C} & Soldier Ant {C} vs. Icarus {F} & Chuck Taylor {F}

If The Colony loses, both Fire Ant and Soldier Ant must unmask. If F.I.S.T. loses, both Icarus and Chuck Taylor must have their heads shaved bald. In the case of a double disqualification, double count out, etc., both stipulations will be upheld. Gran Akuma and Green Ant follow their respective team to the ring with a towel, just in case they choose to surrender for their team.

An all out brawl outside the ring gets us started. Icarus whips Soldier Ant into the guardrails and chokes him with his boot. As they fight, Taylor and Fire Ant exchange boots in the ring. They go for the Beach Break and Awful Waffle respectively, but end up back on the floor where Taylor hot shots Fire Ant onto the guardrails and boots him in the face. Soldier Ant German suplexes Icarus back in the ring. Icarus gives him one of his own. Soldier Ant clotheslines him. Icarus snaps his neck across the top rope. Taylor mounts and punches Soldier Ant repeatedly. He applies a headscissors. F.I.S.T. double suplex Soldier Ant for one. Icarus clotheslines him in the corner and lands a side Russian leg sweep. He puts on a grounded Octopus stretch, turning it into a pin attempt. He piledrives Soldier Ant. Fire Ant breaks the pin. F.I.S.T., including a small assists from Akuma, continue to beat down Soldier Ant for awhile. Soldier Ant backdrops Icarus to escape what looks to be another piledriver. He and Icarus slap and chop each other. Soldier Ant takes him down with a lariat. He follows Icarus to the floor with a pescado. Fire Ant lays out Taylor with forearms and a dropkick. He takes him down with a fireman’s carry for two. The Colony double boot Taylor. They hit the Ants Marching dropkick on both Icarus and Taylor. Revenge of the Ants follows. Taylor takes the Ants Marching neckbreaker for two. Fire Ant misses a top rope senton. Icarus crotches Soldier Ant on the top rope. Taylor brings the timekeeper’s table ringside. Icarus brings in a chair. Bryce Remsburg grabs it. Fire Ant goes to dropkick Icarus, but Icarus moves and Bryce gets dropkicked to the floor. While Bryce is disposed, Taylor puts Soldier Ant through the table with an Awful Waffle from the ring apron! As officials and staff tend to Soldier Ant, Fire Ant drops Icarus with the Beach Break! Bryce is still out. Soldier Ant is carried out by Green Ant, Nick Papagiorgio, and the ringside physician. Icarus recovers and drops Fire Ant with the Wings of Icarus. Bryce pulls himself back in the ring. Fire Ant kicks out at two! Icarus dumps Fire Ant to the floor. Taylor jabs him in the back with a chair behind Bryce’s back, then slams him on the chair. Icarus sends him into the ring steps. He goes for the Wings of Icarus on the steps. Fire Ant counters by back dropping him onto the ring apron. Taylor powerbombs Fire Ant. He pulls Fire Ant off the mat out of hubris. Icarus gets two on Fire Ant with the EVO, also pulling him up off the mat. Bryce says if they do it again, he’s calling for Castigo Excesivo. Fire Ant whips Taylor into Icarus, knocking him to the floor. He Burns Down the House on Taylor, then tope con hilo’s onto Icarus and Akuma! Fire Ant moonsaults into a DDT on Taylor on the floor. He hits Icarus with the Heat of the Moment back in the ring for two. Fire Ant kicks Icarus in the side of the head twice. He musters the strength to attempt the Beach Break. Icarus escapes. He distracts Bryce so Taylor can low blow Fire Ant. Fire Ant still manages to kick out of Taylor’s pin. Taylor puts on the Kentucky Crawdad. From out of the entrance, Soldier Ant crawls out with Green Ant following! Akuma goes to clothesline Soldier Ant, but he ducks and Akuma hits Green Ant. Akuma tries to stop Soldier Ant from breaking the hold, but a new ant comes out to stop Akuma. Soldier Ant breaks Fire Ant free. Taylor goes for the Awful Waffle. Soldier Ant counters with the TKO. Taylor kicks out! Soldier Ant locks on the CHIKARA Special. Icarus spears Soldier Ant from behind to break it. He hits the Wings of Icarus. Soldier Ant kicks out! Icarus looks for a super Shiranui. Fire Ant fireman’s carry’s Icarus off the top onto Akuma, Green Ant, and the other ant. Taylor pulls Fire Ant off the top and hits the Awful Waffle. Soldier Ant makes the save just in time. The other ant drags Akuma backstage and Green Ant follows. Soldier Ant elbows Icarus to the floor and suicide dives onto him. Fire Ant ducks Taylor’s running boot. He kicks him in the head twice. Fire Ant blocks the Awful Waffle with the Beach Break. Taylor kicks out! Fire Ant kicks him in the head again. Another Beach Break gets him the pin at 23:44. This was a work of art; an absolute masterpiece. The story was out of this world, dramatic, and tied the entire feud together. Everything from the previous matches built to this and all the players served their roles to absolute perfection. The wrestling was exceptional. The nearfalls were damn near breathtaking and the crowd was going bananas. To me, this is the best match of all four men’s careers and the best match in CHIKARA history. ****¾

The Colony cut and shave Icarus’ and Taylor’s heads to close the show.


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