The Bobliographon

bobliographon

Philadelphia, PA – 4.26.2009

Commentary is provided by Bryce Remsburg, Buck Hawke, Mike Quackenbush, Louden Noxious, and Leonard F. Chikarason.

Claudio Castagnoli vs. Shadow Phoenix

Phoenix is replacing Mitch Ryder. Claudio shoves him down out of a lock-up. They trade wristlocks. Claudio brings Phoenix down in a front facelock. He places Phoenix on the top rope when Phoenix breaks out of it. Phoenix maneuvers himself into a wheelbarrow armdrag, then uses the ropes for a Frankensteiner. Claudio catches him with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Claudio slams Phoenix into a legdrop for two. He puts on a stretch but Phoenix gets his foot on the ropes. After some chops in the corner, Claudio puts on a seated abdominal stretch. Phoenix breaks free and throws some chest kicks. Claudio mows him down with a lariat for two. Phoenix breaks out of a standing stretch and sends Claudio to the floor. Phoenix headscissors Claudio onto the concrete. In the ring he lands a high crossbody for two. Phoenix ducks Swiss Chin Music and sunset flips Claudio for two. He comes off the top rope with a cartwheel into a headscissors. He uses the top rope for a tornado DDT. Phoenix goes for a springboard Frankensteiner. Claudio catches him. He tosses Phoenix down and hits the Swiss Chin Music for the pin at 7:58. This was a perfect pairing, as Claudio served as a phenomenal base for Phoenix’s offense. It was a really fun, action packed opener, and I would have loved Phoenix to have returned at some point. ***

You can watch the match in its entirety here.

Player Dos is taking to Player Uno in French, apparently about stuff he can’t talk about legally. Uno says Dos got them new gear which helped Uno successfully defend the ISW championship and Dos make it to the Rey de Voladores finals during King of Trios. Uno says their quest towards the belts begins again tonight. They’re going to “pwn” their opponents and get all three points in one night.

2.0 are celebrating. Shane Matthews says last night was the best night of their career due to their victory against Incoherence. Jagged says no matter what, you won’t be able to take the smiles off of their faces. He says that he and Matthews are heading to the promised land.

Elimination Match
Player Uno {SSB} & Player Dos {SSB} vs. Cheech Hernandez & KC ‘Cloudy’ Day vs. STIGMA {U} & Colin Delaney {U} vs. Jagged {2.0} & Shane Matthews {2.0}

Matthews cleanly breaks a lock-up with Cloudy in the corner. He shoulder blocks him down and pummels him in the corner before taking him over with a double underhook suplex. Cloudy gets two with an O’Connor Roll. He comes off the second rope with a headscissors. Dos sunset flips Cheech for two. They headscissor one another. Delaney blind tags in and Dos tags in Jagged. They try doing Cheech and Dos’ sequence, but are not as athletic or coordinated. STIGMA and Uno trade shoulder blocks but remain steadfast. STIGMA slaps Uno in the face. Uno slaps him after going under STIGMA’s leapfrog. Uno back elbows Cheech into a backbreaker. He drop toe holds Cheech into a legdrop from Dos. Cheech lands a Thesz Press on Dos. He puts him in a hands free Sharpshooter. STIGMA and Cloudy put Jagged and Uno in abdominal stretches while Matthews puts Delaney in the Boston Crab. Cheech and Cloudy double hip toss STIGMA. 2.0 give Cloudy a Samoan Drop/neckbreaker combo. Matthews clotheslines Uno into a knee drop from Jagged. 2.0 double DDT Dos. Jagged dives onto Uno, Cloudy, and STIGMA. Matthews goes for the Boston Crab on Cheech. Cheech rolls him into a prawn hold for the pin, eliminating 2.0 at 7:02. Delaney knee strikes Cheech to the floor. STIGMA trips Uno, allowing Delaney to hit his grounded lariat. The UnStable beat down Uno for a few minutes. Delaney and STIGMA accidentally run into each other. Uno and Dos attack them. Dos frogsplashes onto Delaney while Uno cannonball sentons STIGMA. Dos pins Delaney at 10:01. Uno and Dos deposit Cloudy and Cheech. Uno tope con hilo’s onto them. Delaney cuts off Dos’ dive with the Attitude Adjustment! Cloudy suplexes Dos and Cheech slingshots in with a senton for two. Cloudy sentons Dos across Cheech’s knees. Dos drops Cheech with a reverse DDT, but Cloudy stops him from tagging out. Dos does escape by hitting a corkscrew dive onto Cheech outside. Uno gives Cloudy a quebradora backbreaker. He hits the Level 17 Wizard and the Game Genie for two. He waterwheel slams Cloudy into a back cracker from Dos. Cheech breaks the pin. Uno gives him a stunner. Dos superkicks him into a roll-up from Uno. Cloudy makes the save. He spikes Dos with a reverse Frankensteiner. Uno eats partly Cloudy with a chance of Cheech. Death by Knee connects. Cloudy dropkicks Dos into the guardrails. The Tidal Wave on Uno gets Cheech and Cloudy the win at 15:02. Really exciting tag team action. The ending with the Smash Bros and Cheech and Cloudy was so much fun. Poor 2.0. ***¼

Crossbones can’t believe they are putting Mantis against Create-A-Wrestler again. Last time they did, Mantis dropped him right on his head. Mantis says he can’t deal with such trivial matters, as he is so close to ultimate CHIKARA domination. They have a laugh.

Create-A-Wrestler vs. UltraMantis Black {ONT}

Crossbones is in Mantis’ corner. Mantis and Wrestler exchange wristlocks. Wrestler key locks Mantis’ legs, hooking his boot on the inside of his pants. He rolls Mantis to his shoulders for a two count. Wrestler applies a side headlock. Mantis frees himself but is shoulder blocked twice. Mantis trips him. Wrestler trips Mantis. He armdrags him twice and hits the Russian Sickle, sending Mantis to the floor. Wrestler evades a clothesline from Crossbones as he chases Mantis back into the ring. Wrestler spears Mantis for two. Mantis Mongolian chops Wrestler in the corner. Wrestler lifts up Mantis into a spinebuster for two. Crossbones drops down the top rope, sending Wrestler to the floor. Mantis comes off the apron with a cannonball senton onto Wrestler. In the ring he goes for the Praying Mantis Bomb. Wrestler counters with a modified Beach Break for two. Wrestler powerbombs Mantis. Crossbones distracts referee Jon Barber, saving Mantis from a three count. Wrestler calls for “He’s Toast.” Crossbones distracts Wrestler, allowing Mantis to schoolboy him and hook the tights for the pin at 4:53. Pretty solid action for the period of time they were given. The real highlight was Louden revealing to Quackenbush on commentary that Dr. Cube got Chris Hero’s contract from Bob Saget after he exchanged with him the reversal to the CHIKARA Special. *½

Delirious {I}, Hallowicked {I} & Frightmare {I} vs. Eddie Kingston {R}, Brodie Lee {R} & Grizzly Redwood {R}

Delirious freaks out at the bell. He and Redwood trade wristlocks. Delirious steps on Redwood’s barefoot and pumps his arm over his shoulder. Redwood twists on Delirious’ arm before taking him down in a side headlock. Delirious reverses into a headscissors. They armdrag one another. Delirious chases Redwood to the floor. Back in the ring, Delirious nails a leg lariat and tags in Frightmare. Redwood throws him to the mat and tags in Kingston. Kingston aggressively throws Frightmare to the mat. Frightmare takes him down with a headscissors and a neckmare. Hallowicked and Lee trade strikes. Lee turns Hallowicked inside out with a rolling larit. He rubs the mask he stole from Hallowicked into his face. Redwood chokes Hallowicked with one of his suspender straps. Hallowicked fights out of his headlock. Frightmare suplexes Redwood to the corner. Lee tries to big boot him. Frightmare ducks but eats a boot from Redwood. Kingston peppers strikes to Frightmare’s kidney’s and chokes him on the ropes. The Roughnecks bully Frightmare until he catches Lee with a tornado DDT. Delirious comes in with strikes to Redwood. He drop toe holds Lee into the corner. He catches Redwood coming off the top with a headbutt to the stomach. He hits the Panic Attack on both of them. Kingston takes the Here It Is Driver. Lee shoves Redwood onto Delirious to stop the pin. Lee takes down Hallowicked with a step-up Frankensteiner! Hallowicked big boots him into a Frankensteiner from Frightmare. Frightmare follows Lee to the floor with a tope con hilo. Redwood Polish hammers. Delirious. Hallowicked boots Redwood to the floor. Hallowicked and Kingston trade slaps. Kingston gives him a brainbuster and the Sliding D. Delirious breaks the pin. He gives him the Neverending Story clothesline. Hallowicked hits Go 2 Sleepy Hollow. Delirious hits Shadows Over Heck. Frightmare comes off the top with Kneecolepsy. Lee breaks the pin. Lee takes corner attacks from Delirious and Hallowicked, then gets pinned with a huracanrana from Frightmare at 12:52. This was so much better than I think most people expected. It was chaotic in all the right ways and everybody looked great. It was a perfect feud ending bout, and one that the crowd was really into. One of my favorite non-King of Trios trios matches in CHIKARA history. Frightmare retrieves Hallowicked’s stolen mask from Brodie Lee’s pocket. ***½

As Delirious heads to the back, Crossbones confronts him. From behind, Mantis grabs Delirious and shoves the Eye of Tyr in his face! Mantis and Crossbones take Delirious to the back.

Claudio Castagnoli says the Fabulous Three are always talking about how smart they are. The last few months, Larry Sweeney and Mitch Ryder have been ducking him, which may be the smartest thing they have ever done. Claudio now hears Eddie Kingston is running his mouth about him. Claudio says if Kingston has a problem, he is willing to fight.

Sara Del Rey vs. Shark Girl

Sara breaks a couple of lock-ups in the corner. Girl bites Sara’s hand to escape a wristlock. She then puts on her own wristlock and bites it. Sara gets mad at Bryce for not doing anything. Girl then bites Sara’s buttocks. By accident, she bites Bryce in the buttocks. Sara then bites Girl while Girl is biting Bryce. They eventually break the chain. Sara boots her down. She gets two with a suplex. Girl monkey flips Sara to the ropes, but Sara mows her down with a back elbow. Sara stomps Girl down in the corner. She steps on Girl’s pigtails while pulling on her arms. Girl small packages Sara for two. She comes off Sara’s shoulder with an armdrag. Girl avoids a boot. She sunset flips out of a Gory Special attempt for two. Girl delivers some punches in the corner. Sara carries her out and hits the Royal Butterfly suplex for the pin at 6:01. A perfectly adequate match but nothing memorable. *

Jimmy ‘Equinox’ Olsen {TFN}, Lince Dorado {TFN} & Helios {TFN} vs. Amasis {OP}, Ophidian {OP} & Escorpion Egipcio {OP}

This is a rematch from “King of Trios 2009 Night II.” The Portal attack the Future is Now as they’re making their entrance. In the ring, the Portal try triple teaming Equinox, but mis-communication sees Egipcio accidentally clothesline his partners. Equinox monkey flips Egipcio and comes off the top with a flying headscissors that sends him to the floor. Equinox follows with a suicide dive. Amasis ducks Dorado’s kicks but takes a Frankensteiner. Dorado blocks a punch with an armdrag. Dorado armdrags Amasis into Ophidian, then tiger feint kicks them both. He lands a springboard seated senton on Amasis. Helios hits a standing moonsault. Ophidian breaks the pin. Helios spins out Ophidian onto Amasis with the Burning Screwdriver. Ophidian crotches Helios when Helios ascends the ropes. This allows the Portal to isolate him in their corner. Helios smartly flips to the floor when kicking Ophidian, bringing in Dorado with a twisting crossbody. He forearms Amasis in the neck. Amasis knocks him down with a running STO for two. Egipcio drops Dorado on his chest and stomach out of a press slam. Dorado is now isolated by the Portal. Egipcio blind tags himself in when Amasis and Ophidian look for a Hart Attack. The confusion causes Egipcio to accidentally boot Amasis off the apron. Dorado slips out, bringing in Equinox. He rips the horn off of Egipcio’s mask, just like Egipcio ripped off one of Dorado’s ears at Trios. Equinox sends Egipcio to the floor. Ophidian pitches Equinox out. Helios spin kicks Ophidian and takes him down with a headscissors. He tiger walks up Ophidian, then armdrags Amasis onto him. Helios cannonball sentons onto both of them. He German suplexes Ophidian and Pele kicks Amasis. Both of them roll to the floor. Helios and Dorado simultaneously dive onto them. Egipcio Northern Lights suplexes Equinox. Dorado breaks the pin. He lynxsaults onto Egipcio for two. Amasis and Ophidian double missile dropkick Dorado off of Egipcio’s shoulders. Helios makes the save. Egipcio accidentally spears Ophidian when aiming for Helios. Amasis and Ophidian tell Egipcio they’re done with him and abandon him! Dorado and Equinox double superkick Egipcio. Helios polishes him off with a 630 splash at 15:04. This was easily a step up from their first match. Egipcio being ousted from the Portal felt a little forced, but was done well and gave the Future is Now another strong win as a unit. The action was much more crisp, the story was more focused, and they played into parts of the previous match which were rewarding. ***

Vin Gerard calls Glacier a glory hound. He claims that Glacier always has to have the spotlight and can’t stand losing to young upstarts like the UnStable. He will make Glacier step aside tonight.

Vin Gerard {U} vs. Glacier

STIGMA and Colin Delaney are in Gerard’s corner. After Gerard stalls for a bit, Glacier grabs a headlock. Gerard fights out. He drops down, but Glacier also drops down and re-applies the headlock. Gerard gets his foot on the ropes. Glacier goes for the Cryonic Kick but is pulled to the floor by STIGMA. Glacier pulls Gerard back to the apron by his hair. He goes for a suplex but Delaney trips him. Gerard forearms Glacier in the back a couple times. Glacier had a chop waiting when Gerard bails back to the floor. STIGMA distracts Glacier so that Gerard can sneak attack him. He chokes Glacier and shoves him out so STIGMA and Delaney can get in some shots. Gerard chokes him again. He nails a running knee strike while STIGMA and Delaney hold him in place. Glacier rams STIGMA and Delaney’s heads together. Gerard leg sweeps him into the guardrails. Glacier throws some strikes back in the ring. He bodyslams Gerard after a hip toss. Gerard ducks a chop and applies a sleeper. Referee Nick Papagiorgio is about to call for the bell when Glacier grabs his pant leg. He elbows his way free and double chops Gerard. Gerard re-applies the sleeper. Glacier backs him to the corner to escape, accidentally knocking down Papagiorgio. Gerard dropkicks Glacier. Delaney tosses brass knucks to Gerard. Glacier Cryonic Kicks Gerard. Papagiorgio comes to, but enough time has passed where Gerard could kick out. STIGMA hits the apron. Glacier kicks him. Delaney distracts Papagiorgio. Gerard punches Glacier with the brass knucks twice. That gets him the win at 12:13. The crowd was never into this (they were too busy chanting “we want Shark Girl”) and the interference got tired quickly. Glacier is a fine novelty, but bringing him back for a short feud was a mistake. It also did nothing but hurt Gerard, who should be smoking guys of this caliber in no time, not ducking and dodging them. There was nothing fundamentally wrong with the wrestling, but everything else points to this being a mistake. *½

Mike Quackenbush, Jigsaw, Fire Ant {C} & Soldier Ant {C} vs. Icarus {F}, Gran Akuma {F}, Chuck Taylor {F} & Buck Hawke {FT}

Soldier Ant makes Hawke salute during their opening exchange. He armdrags Hawke out of a courting hold and salutes. He makes Hawke army crawl to the apron. Hawke salutes, and Soldier Ant sends the saluting hand into his head. Akuma sole butt kicks Quackenbush. Quackenbush forces Icarus and Akuma to attack one another. Jigsaw leapfrogs over Quackenbush and legdrops Icarus. Jigsaw armdrags Akuma in a couple of different ways. He suicide dives after him to the floor. Soldier Ant knocks down Hawke with some saluting forearms. The Colony land a back senton/falling saluting headbutt combo. Fire Ant fireman’s carry’s Hawke, then tornado clutches him for two. Hawke overhand chops Fire Ant. Fire Ant sends Hawke out with the Stop, Drop, and Roll. F.I.S.T. cause a distraction, but the Colony backdrop Hawke when he tries to run in. Quackenbush controls Taylor by his right arm. Taylor delivers a dropkick. Quackenbush ducks a clothesline and comes off the second rope with a springback cannonball splash. Akuma kicks Quackenbush into a boot from Taylor. Icarus gives him a back cracker. F.I.S.T. and Hawke wear down Quackenbush’s back for awhile. Hawke misses a corner splash, bringing in Soldier Ant. As he’s chopping Hawke, F.I.S.T. attack him from behind. Soldier Ant is triple teamed by F.I.S.T. When Hawke is on the second rope waiting to attack, Soldier Ant slips to the floor. Jigsaw is pounced on by F.I.S.T. as soon as he enters the ring. Jigsaw escapes after taking the old Kings of Wrestling quadruple dropkick. Fire Ant takes down Hawke. Icarus distracts him so that Hawke can knock him down with a back elbow. Akuma goes after his legs. Icarus and Taylor look for Shooty McGee. Fire Ant fights off of Taylor’s shoulders. He tosses Icarus off the top onto Taylor. Quackenbush tags in and bulldogs Hawke. He catches Akuma’s sole butt kick. Jigsaw sole but kicks Akuma. He and Quackenbush stereo suplexes Hawke and Akuma. The Colony hit Revenge of the Ants on them, then double dropkick Icarus and Taylor in the corner. Quackenbush moonsaults onto F.I.S.T., Hawke, and the Colony. Quackenbush palm strikes Hawke back in the ring. Jigsaw and Quackenbush hit a modified Doomsday Device for two. Icarus Blu-Ray’s Quackenbush to the corner. Jigsaw dropkicks Icarus out. F.I.S.T. hit Jigsaw with F.I.S.T. Kicks. Hawke nails the Tribute to Professionalism for two. Soldier Ant forearms Taylor. Akuma dropkicks him. Quackenbush palm strikes Akuma’s skull. Icarus spears Quackenbush. Fire Ant hits the Heat of the Moment on Icarus. Hawke clotheslines Fire Ant. Jigsaw enzuigiri’s Hawke. Taylor nails Jigsaw with a running boot for two. He puts Jigsaw in the Kentucky Crawdad. Quackenbush palm strikes Taylor. He sets Hawke on top for an antzuigiri from Fire Ant. Jigsaw brings him down with a Frankensteiner. Quackenbush lands a Swanton bomb and Soldier Ant comes off the top with a diving headbutt. Taylor breaks the pin. Jigsaw goes for the Jig N’ Tonic. Taylor reverses it into Sole Food. Icarus drops him with a Shiranui for two. Fire Ant Burns Down the House on Taylor while Soldier Ant TKO’s Icarus. Quackenbush and The Colony dive onto Hawke, Taylor, and Icarus. Akuma throws chest kicks at Jigsaw. Akuma ducks a kick but takes a 2k1 Bomb for two. He goes for the Jig N’ Tonic. Akuma fights out. Jigsaw catapults onto his shoulders. He tries a piledriver. Akuma hits a modified Tenchi Crash for two. Jigsaw goes for a superkick. Akuma ducks it and hits the Rubix Cube for the pin at 18:52. This was fast paced, exciting, and all the action was on point. Everyone looked fantastic and it built up so many feuds for the upcoming season. It was a heck of a way to end the show and give F.I.S.T. momentum heading into the big tag team Lucha de Apuesta next month. ****

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