Behind The 8 Ball

behind8ball

Easton, PA – 4.25.2009

Commentary is provided by Mike Quackenbush, Louden Noxious, Leonard F. Chikarason, UltraMantis Black, and Bryce Remsburg.

Louden Noxious plays a CHIKARA Entrance Theme Montage medley to start the show. It’s fantastic.

Jagged says that he and Shane Matthews used to have a place they called home: the Promised Land. It’s been awhile since they have been able to walk on the sandy beaches, frolic with the animals, and eat the fruits of the promised land. Matthews says it’s been two long years since they have been able to accrue even one point. They’re going to reverse their fortunes tonight as they face Incoherence. Matthews says we’re going to find out why they call him Big Magic and why they call Jagged the Wet Bandit. Jagged seems confused by this.

Hallowicked {I} & Frightmare {I} vs. Jagged {2.0} & Shane Matthews {2.0}

Matthews shoves Hallowicked out of a lock-up. Matthews drops an elbow on Hallowicked’s back when he drops down. He trips Hallowicked as he comes off the ropes but misses a corner splash. Hallowicked hip tosses Matthews out of the corner, then delivers an armdrag and a slam. He whips Frightmare into Matthews for a yakuza kick. Incoherence hit the Sidewinder for two. Jagged hits Frightmare with a leg lariat. Frightmare comes back with a dropkick and headscissors. Jagged drop toe holds him into the second turnbuckle. He holds onto Frightmare’s leg so Matthews can kick him. Frightmare avoids a double backdrop. He and Hallowicked send 2.0 out with stereo step-up Frankensteiner’s. Frightmare tope con hilo’s after them. Back in the ring, Matthews shuts down Frightmare’s headscissors attempt with a backbreaker. Jagged knees Frightmare in the side of the head, starting 2.0’s isolation of the less experienced Incoherence member. Frightmare is able to get his foot up to counter a corner attack and give Matthews a headscissors. Hallowicked gets in some strikes before giving Jagged the Rydeen Bomb. He Cactus clotheslines him to the floor. Frightmare sunset flips Matthews. Matthews rolls through and puts on the Boston Crab. Hallowicked yakuza kicks Matthews in the back of the head to break it. Brodie Lee makes his way ringside with Hallowicked’s mask to distract him. 2.0 roll up Incoherence simultaneously for the pin at 9:57. A solid match-up but one that didn’t get a chance to kick into the next gear. Lee’s interference seemed unnecessary and made it look like 2.0 got lucky (which they did, and may have been purposeful) but it wasn’t very satisfying. **

Nevaeh says she’s going to beat Shark Girl in her CHIKARA debut.

Shark Girl vs. Nevaeh

They each break lock-ups in the corner. Girl bites Nevaeh’s hand as she holds onto an armbar. She then bites Nevaeh in the buttocks. Nevaeh counters a hip toss with one of her own. She takes Girl down with an armdrag. Girl forearms her back while she has on a hammerlock. Girl pulls off a Japanese armdrag. Nevaeh snapmares Girl, delivers a Perfect neckbreaker, then a diving basement clothesline for two. Girl snapmares Nevaeh into a low blockbuster and a back kick. Girl misses an elbow drop. Nevaeh jackknife pins her for two. She suplexes Girl into a front facelock but is too close to the ropes to make it count. Nevaeh uses the ropes for a backcracker and gets two. Girl evades a corner attack and clotheslines Nevaeh in the back of the neck for two. She chops Nevaeh on the top of the head and takes her down with a clothesline. Girl prawn holds Nevaeh for two. She gives her the Zack Attack for the pin at 5:53. Very rough around the edges but not terrible. Not much to sink your teeth into. No that’s not a shark pun…okay it totally is. *¼

Helios {TFN} vs. Escorpion Egipcio {OP}

Egipcio wrenches on a courting hold. Helios runs the ropes to armdrag his way free. Egipcio wins a test of strength, tripping Helios as he holds onto the double knuckle lock. Helios catapults up into a sunset flip for two. He headscissors Egipcio. Helios goes for the Backslide Driver. Egipcio escapes and places Helios on the top rope. Helios flips over Egipcio, then rolls back into a Pele kick. He legdrags Egipcio to the corner then small packages him for two. Egipcio tries a chokeslam but gets armdragged to the floor. Helios follows with a tope con hilo. In the ring, Egipcio catches Helios’ moonsault press and powerslams him. He chokes Helios on the bottom rope. He drop toe holds him into a key lock stretch. Helios escapes. He sunset flips Egipcio. Egipcio rolls through and misses a back senton. Helios lands a standing moonsault for two. Egipcio escapes the Burning Screwdriver and hits a TKO. Helios armdrags Egipcio off the top rope. He hits a 630 splash for the pin at 7:02. This was an awesome showcase for Helios, who looked impressive and was able to put down a man twice his size. Very fun to watch. **½

Atomicos Increibles
Player Uno {SSB}, Hydra {SD}, Vin Gerard {U} & Buck Hawke {FT} vs. Player Dos {SSB}, Tim Donst {SD}, STIGMA {U} & Brodie Lee

Lee is replacing Mitch Ryder. Donst controls Hawke in a wristlock. Hawke is proud when he escapes, but Donst sweeps his legs out. He schoolyard trips over Bryce Remsburg and sends him to the floor. Donst slides out and trips Hawke out on the floor. Dos and Uno armdrag one another. Lee catches Hydra’s boot attempt and shoves him down. Lee misses his elbow drop attempts. Hydra ducks a punch and flexes. Lee punches him right in the face. STIGMA shoves down Gerard. They gently lock-up and roll around the mat. STIGMA brings Gerard down with a wristlock where Gerard pretends to be in great pain. He escapes and does a mocking cartwheel. STIGMA does the same when he escapes a waistlock. They begin to mock of Uno when STIGMA “pauses” Gerard. Uno verbally berates him, causing Gerard to roll out. STIGMA slaps Donst to tag him in. Donst goes after STIGMA but is held back as he is his partner. Donst and Hydra have issues locking up with one another. They play their air instruments. Gerard runs in to shove Donst and blames it on Hydra. Donst and Hydra end up in a battle of pin attempts. STIGMA knees Hydra from the apron. Donst pie faces STIGMA. Gerard attacks Donst from behind. STIGMA knees Donst, allowing Gerard to hit a flying clothesline. Gerard’s time beat down Donst in their corner. Donst catches Hawke with a running STO and tags in Dos who cleans house. STIGMA blind tags himself in. He mocks D’Lo Brown by doing his taunt and heading up top. Donst tosses him to the mat. He then jumps out onto Gerard and Hawke on the floor. Uno dives onto a bunch of people. Dos is set to dive but is cut off by Lee. Uno forearms Lee. Dos dives over Uno onto everybody else on the floor. Uno misses a Goomba Stomp on Lee. Lee has a violence party on Uno and big boots him to the floor. Hawke superkicks Dos for two. Dos frogsplashes onto Hawke for the pin at 15:16. There was some fun moments and alright action, but they may have played too much into the “strange bedfellows” concept and not enough on the action. It accomplished it’s goal of advancing the STIGMA and Donst feud but was hollow otherwise. **¼

Donst and STIGMA continue to fight after the match and have to be separated.

Shadow Phoenix vs. Gran Akuma {F}

Phoenix twists up Akuma’s left knee. Akuma key locks his legs. Phoenix gets on an armbar. Akuma powers out but Phoenix snaps off some armdrags. He rolls up into a dropkick. Akuma responds with an exploder suplex for two. He applies a seated abdominal stretch. Phoenix gets the ropes. Akuma snapmares him into a back kick. Phoenix responds in kind. Akuma snapmares him into a single leg dropkick for two. He puts on a bow and arrow. Phoenix escapes. They exchange chest kicks. Phoenix takes Akuma over with a Frankensteiner, sending him to the floor. Phoenix follows with a tope con hilo. Back in the ring, Phoenix hits a delayed top rope dropkick. He comes off the middle rope with a huracanrana for two. Akuma catches him on the top rope with a gamengiri. He brings Phoenix down with a spider suplex and follows with a moonsault for two. Akuma goes up top. Phoenix brings him down with an avalanche Frankensteiner! Phoenix uses the ropes for a tornado DDT. Akuma kicks out. Phoenix tries a springboard huracanrana. Akuma reverses it into a German suplex. He spikes him in the Rubix Cube for the pin at 9:17. These guys had fantastic chemistry and the right styles to mesh together. Both came out looking strong and the ending looked devastating. This was really fun. ***

Chuck Taylor says every time they get in the ring with the Colony, a member of the Colony gets hurt. He plans to beat them in the center of the ring tonight. Icarus says they had some time off from one another thanks to King of Trios. Now they’re back to business. Icarus doesn’t know if this will end the epic battle between them, but it will certainly be a night to remember.

Fire Ant {C} & Soldier Ant {C} vs. Icarus {F} & Chuck Taylor {F}

This is a rematch from “Motive, Means, Opportunity.” A brawl with all four competitors starts the match. The Colony double hip toss Icarus. Taylor trips Soldier Ant and clotheslines him on the floor. Fire Ant kicks Icarus out. Taylor springboard dropkicks Fire Ant. F.I.S.T. choke him on the ropes. Icarus suplexes him twice and leg sweeps him into a seated Octopus stretch. Fire Ant uses the ropes for a fireman’s carry on Taylor, then armdrags him to the floor. Soldier Ant chops up Icarus. He Samoan drops Icarus. Fire Ant sentons Icarus as Soldier Ant lands a falling, saluting headbutt. Taylor grabs Soldier Ant’s leg. Soldier Ant kicks Taylor away and back elbows Icarus. Soldier Ant misses a crossbody onto Icarus. Icarus nails him with a spear for two. Soldier Ant is beaten down by F.I.S.T. until Icarus accidentally spears Taylor. Fire Ant tags in. He knocks down Icarus with chops and a forearm. He hits Taylor with a roundhouse kick. Icarus kicks Fire Ant but is taken down with a fireman’s carry. Fire Ant drops Taylor with a brainbuster. Icarus breaks the count. Icarus hits the EVO on Fire Ant for two. Soldier Ant and Icarus get in a slapping contest. Soldier Ant knocks Icarus down with a forearm. Taylor boots Soldier Ant. Fire Ant nails Taylor with the Heat of the Moment. Fire Ant headscissors Taylor to the corner. He moonsault presses into a tornado DDT. Icarus cuts off Fire Ant’s dive. Fire Ant Burns Down the House on Icarus. He ascends the ropes and tope con hilo’s onto Taylor. Soldier Ant brings Icarus down. Icarus goes for a Shiranui. Soldier Ant counters with a German suplex for two. He and Fire Ant give him the Ants Marching neckbreaker. Taylor shoves Fire Ant to the floor. Icarus feigns a low blow from Soldier Ant when Nick Papagiorgio isn’t looking. As Papagiorgio is focused on Icarus, Taylor low blows Soldier Ant! He locks on the Kentucky Crawdad. Soldier Ant taps out at 12:20. An awesome, heated bout and a fantastic follow up from their February tag. These two units can’t help but kill it every time they meet each other. ***¼

Taylor goes after Soldier Ant’s mask. Fire Ant stops him. Icarus kicks Fire Ant in the dick. He chokes Fire Ant and tells him he hates him. Taylor then pummels Soldier Ant. Leonard F. Chikarason comes out and tells them to break it up. He gets on the microphone and threatens suspension, which finally gets F.I.S.T. to relent. Chuck Taylor grabs the microphone. He says month in and month out they have been destroying the Colony. The only thing left to do is to take their masks. Fire Ant says that they want their hair. Chikarason makes it official: The Colony vs. F.I.S.T., masks vs. hair. The Colony attack F.I.S.T. after accepting. All three officials come out to break them up once again.

Colin Delaney says tonight it’s brother vs. brother as he takes on Jimmy Olsen. It’s going to be just like Streamwood, IL, when Delaney came out victorious. This time, however, he’s taking the Young Lions Cup from his baby brother.

Young Lions Cup
Jimmy ‘Equinox’ Olsen {TFN} (Champion) vs. Colin Delaney {U}

As a form of mind games, Colin Delaney comes out to a punk rock cover of “Toxic” by Brittany Spears, the theme song he and Jimmy used when they were a tag team. Equinox armdrags Delaney to the corner. Delaney takes off his UnStable wrist tape saying he’s all Olsen tonight. He neckdrags Equinox to the corner and armdrags him out of it. He uses the ropes for a wheelbarrow armdrag, then slaps Equinox in the face. Equinox voluntarily unmasks, making it Olsen vs. Olsen. Equinox unloads with forearms and a backdrop. He chps Delaney in multiple corners. He suplexes Delaney for two and dropkicks him to the floor. Equinox goes for a tornado DDT on the floor. Delaney stops it and boots Equinox in the face. In the ring, Delaney hits a leg lariat. Delaney fights off Equinox’s tornado DDT attempt and dropkicks him. He drives his knees into the back of Equinox’s head. He drives his knees into his back and stomach. Equinox manages to get to the top rope but Delaney cuts him off. Equinox headbutts Delaney back to the mat. He hits a missile dropkick. Delaney fights out of a 2k1 Bomb but takes a German suplex. Equinox takes Delaney over with a Frankensteiner and gets a two count with a superkick. Delaney takes Equinox down and nails a diving falling clothesline. Equinox catches his second clothesline attempt and locks on the CHIKARA Special. Delaney grabs the bottom rope to escape. Equinox tosses Delaney out of a Northern Lights suplex. He misses a shooting star press. Delaney spikes Equinox in a DDT for two. Delaney calls for the Attitude Adjustment. Equinox fights out. Equinox cracks him with a haymaker for the pin at 12:21. This was a step up from their first encounter. I really enjoyed the Olsen throwback stuff Delaney busted out. You could feel the tension and they made the near falls matter, making for a fun contest. ***

Campeonatos de Parejas
Amasis {OP} & Ophidian {OP} (Campeones) vs. Mike Quackenbush & Jigsaw

Jigsaw and Ophidian each go for a quick nearfall. Jigsaw snaps Ophidian’s left leg. A Lucha exchange ends with Jigsaw armdragging Ophidian out of the Gory Special and getting a two count with a leg lariat. Jigsaw suplexes Ophidian into a slingshot senton from Quackenbush. Jigsaw slingshot double stomps Ophidian for two. Amasis is controlled by Quackenbush. Quackenbush takes him down with a toreador and assists Jigsaw with a Frankensteiner. Quackenbush sweeps out Amasis’ legs on the apron. Ophidian sends Jigsaw shoulder first into the ring post. The Portal now focus their attack on Jigsaw’s left shoulder. Jigsaw escapes their onslaught when he and Amasis collide with simultaneous clotheslines. Quackenbush clotheslines Ophidian in the corner. Amasis holds onto Quackenbush so that he can’t bulldog Ophidian. Quackenbush rolls out to confront Amasis, allowing Ophidian to pull Jigsaw back in and keep him legal. Jigsaw is able to fight off an O’Conner Roll from Amasis, bringing in Quackenbush with a high crossbody onto Amasis. He rolls him into a seatbelt pin for two. He hits a pump-handle slam for two. Jigsaw legdrops the back of Amasis’ head while still nursing his arm. Jigsaw and Ophidian trade strikes. Amasis tries a slingshot Frankensteiner. When Jigsaw stops it, Amasis twists his mask so he can’t see. He O’Conner rolls Jigsaw to pick up the first fall at 12:51. Amasis attacks Jigsaw and drives his shoulder into the mat. He applies a chinlock. Jigsaw fights out and nails an enzuigiri. Quackenbush lands a springback cannonball senton on Amasis. He backdrops Ophidian. Amasis slingshots Quackenbush into the ropes, causing him to land back first across his knees. Ophidian hits a slingshot senton while Quackenbush is still on Amasis’ knees. The Portal shift their focus to wearing down Quackenbush’s notoriously bad back. Quackenbush catches Ophidian coming off the ropes. He goes for a palm strike. Amasis shoves Ophidian out of the way, so Amasis eats the palm strike instead. Jigsaw cleans house upon tagging in. Ophidian goes for the Death Grip but Jigsaw tosses him off. He tries the Duat Driver. Jigsaw counters with a torture rack bomb. Amasis breaks the pin. Jigsaw heads up top. The Portal cut him off and bring him down with the Pyramid superplex. Jigsaw kicks out. He kicks Ophidian and knocks down Amasis. Quackenbush and Jigsaw double superkick Amasis. Jigsaw takes him off the top rope with a Frankensteiner. Quackenbush hits a Swanton Bomb. Jigsaw rolls up Amasis to pick up the second fall at 22:05. Jigsaw double stomps Amasis’ back for two. Jigsaw German suplexes Ophidian for two. He puts on a Dragon sleeper with a bodyscissors. Amasis breaks the pin. He shoulder tackles Jigsaw. The Portal hit the Mummification for two. Ophidian comes off the top with double knees. Amasis lands a 450 splash for two. The Portal hypnotize Jigsaw. Quackenbush slams down Ophidian, causing him to give Amasis the Duat Driver! He sends Jigsaw out. Ophidian attempts to Skin the Snake but Quackenbush tosses him to the floor. He gives Amasis a spinebuster and puts on Lightning Lock Omega. Ophidian slingshots Quackenbush into a sunset flip. Quackenbush rolls through and gets put in a cloverleaf. Ophidian gets the ropes to escape. Quackenbush goes for the Quackendriver II. Amasis uses a shoulder tackle to stop him. Quackenbush backdrops Amasis to the floor onto Jigsaw by accident. He drills Ophidian with the Quackendriver III. Ophidian kicks out! Quackenbush catches Amasis with Quackendriver IV. He kicks out of that, to Quackenbush’s disbelief. Quackenbush calls for Quackendriver I. Ophidian puts him in the Death Grip instead. Quackenbush headbutts free and goes for Quackendriver I. Ophidian counters with a prawn hold and gets the third and final fall at 29:02. The Portal worked an awesome match, focusing their attack in a smart, calculated way. They also looked phenomenal taking Quackenbush’s bigger moves and being able to fight out. They played all of it into one tight package with strong action and really convincing submissions and nearfalls. Both teams brought their A game and made for gave us one of the most under-appreciated Campeones de Parejas bouts ever. ****

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