If The Airplane Is Snowed In, Put Your Bloody Skis On And Get Going!


Reading, PA – 2.20.2009

Commentary is provided by Leonard F. Chikarason, Chuck Taylor, Bryce Remsburg, Louden Noxious, UltraMantis Black, and Mike Quackenbush.

UltraMantis Black says tonight is where the Order potentially welcomes someone new into the family. Crossbones brings Pinkie Sanchez over who has a hand slapping toy. Mantis asks what he has to offer. Pinkie says he has a sweet robot dance, which Mantis is not impressed by. He wants no dancing in the Order. Sanchez does agree to join them in battle tonight, however. He beatboxes to end the promo.

Cheech Hernandez, KC ‘Cloudy’ Day & Hydra {SD} vs. UltraMantis Black {ONT}, Crossbones {ONT} & Pinkie Sanchez

The Order attack their opponents before the bell. Cloudy and Cheech tie up Crossbones’ arms as Hydra poses on his back. They triple dropkick Crossbones to the floor. Cheech and Cloudy double hip toss Mantis. They then assist Hydra with a splash. Sanchez is double drop toe holed into a tandem Boston Crab. Hydra poses over him. Mantis breaks the submission. Against Mantis’ orders, Sanchez does a little dancing which ends with the Michinoku Pro comedy spot. Mantis and Crossbones double waterwheel slam Cloudy. Sanchez follows up with a springboard seated splash. Sanchez dances a little more after a hip attack. Mantis argues with him. Cloudy sends Mantis out with a Frankensteiner. Hydra tries a sunset flip on Sanchez. Sanchez breaks it with a seated splash. The Order wear down Hydra until he gives Sanchez a jawbreaker and a hooking clothesline. Cheech knocks the Order off the apron and clotheslines Sanchez. He powerslams Sanchez for two. Hydra assists Cheech with the Doomsday Device. Mantis breaks the pin. Crossbones kicks Hydra into a Death Valley Driver from Mantis. Cloudy sends Crossbones out, then helps Cheech with a tandem Roll of the Dice on Mantis. The Tidal Wave connects. Sanchez enzuigiri’s Cheech as Crossbones uranage slams Cloudy. Sanchez accidentally whoopee cushions Crossbones. Cheech gives Sanchez The Deluxe for the pin at 7:32. This was a really fun and unique match. “It Came From The Sea” may be one of my favorite makeshift CHIKARA trios ever. Sanchez looked good and stood out amongst the pack. I’m glad we’d eventually get to see more of him. **½

Grizzly Redwood says he knows a lot about trees, lumber, and deforestation. Video games however he doesn’t know much about. That doesn’t matter, he plans to chop Create-A-Wrestler down like a budding pussy willow.

Create-A-Wrestler vs. Grizzly Redwood

Wrestler backs Redwood to the corner. Redwood gets in a cheap shot and comes off the second rope with a double axe handle. Redwood throws him into the corner. Wrestler crossbody’s Redwood for two. Redwood dropkicks Wrestler’s legs out and double axe handles his back a fw times. He chokes Wrestler on the ropes. Wrestler reverses an Irish whip to the corner and powerslams Redwood. Redwood responds with a jawbreaker and a pair of Polish hammers. Wrestler pops him up into a spinebuster. He clotheslines Redwood twice before giving him a mule kick and a spear. Redwood kicks out, so Wrestler goes to the concession stand. He gets a stack of pancakes. Wrestler goes to powerbomb Redwood onto them. Redwood fights out. Wrestler however gives him a flapjack onto the flapjacks! He small packages Redwood for two. Wrestler powerbombs him for two. He comes off the second rope with a sunset flip. Redwood reverses it and holds the tights for the pin at 5:59. It wouldn’t surprise me if this was just set up for the flapjack spot. It was definitely amusing and memorable, and Wrestler actually looked great, but nothing to go out of your way to see. *½

Delirious {I} vs. Sami Callihan

Callihan slaps Delirious to stop his bell induced craze. Delirious remains steadfast from Callihan’s shoulder block attempt. He trips Callihan thrice. Callihan slaps him again. Delirious slaps him back. He Baba chops him, then uses Callihan’s own hand to slap him. He goes for a Cobra Stretch which Callihan muscles out of. He pitches Delirious to the floor. Callihan follows and they exchange strikes. In the ring Callihan kicks out the back of Delirious’ knee. Delirious takes him to the corner with a leg lariat. He gives Callihan eight punches before being knocked down for a seated splash. He chokes Delirious with his own tassles. Delirious ducks some clotheslines. He tries a sunset flip. Callihan rolls through. He nails a basement lariat after kicking out of Delirious’ crucifix pin attempt. They trade headbutts on their knees. Callihan digs his fingers into Delirious’ eye ports. Delirious catches him coming off the second rope with a headbutt to the stomach. He knees Callihan in the stomach as he comes off the ropes. He drops him down into a trifecta of senton splashes. Callihan kicks out. Delirious hangs Callihan in a tree of woe and delivers the Panic Attack. Callihan blocks a second Panic Attack with a lariat. He puts Delirious in the Koji Clutch. Delirious escapes. Delirious evades a Saito suplex. Callihan mows him down with a rolling lariat for two. Delirious blocks Callihan’s brainbuster attempt with a leg capture slam into the Cobra Stretch. Callihan taps out at 10:50. That was hard hitting, action packed, and a lot of fun. With Mantis on commentary it was obvious this singles match that seemed like it had no real purpose would end up meaning something, which I also appreciated. You never hear this match get love, but I enjoyed the time spent watching it and thought they told a good story. ***

STIGMA has to be calmed down as he begins to talk about hurting Tim Donst. Vin Gerard says they’ve talked about winning in losing, but Donst up until now has had no idea what they have been talking about. Gerard says for Donst, a loss tonight will mean the end of his career. STIGMA holds up Tim Donst’s amateur wrestling headgear, which he stole from him at “Duel & Duality.”

Mike Quackenbush, Jigsaw & Tim Donst {SD} vs. Vin Gerard {U}, STIGMA {U} & Colin Delaney {U}

After fighting for control, Jigsaw lands a senton on Gerard’s back. Gerard tries going after the leg. Jigsaw fights him off. He suplexes Gerard into a slingshot senton from Quackenbush. Quackenbush holds onto a double knuckle lock as he monkey flips Delaney. He gives him a Manhattan Drop and sweeps out his legs before applying a toe hold. Delaney catches Quackenbush with a punch and back suplex. He puts Delaney in a Camel Clutch. Quackenbush baits Delaney into a crossbody and headscissors from Jigsaw. Quackenbush holds up Gerard for a clothesline from Donst. Quackenbush then tope con hilo’s onto Gerard. Donst and STIGMA aggressively trade forearms. Donst delivers some punches in the corner and takes STIGMA down with a flying forearm and back elbow. Donst misses a kick. STIGMA holds onto his leg so Delaney can sneak in a right hand. The UnStable bully Donst in their corner until he and STIGMA tumble to the floor. Jigsaw looks to hit the ropes, but Gerard trips him and gets on him right away. This allows the UnStable to tie up Jigsaw in their corner, ostensibly replacing Donst. Jigsaw fights them off and gives Delaney a back cracker out of the corner. Quackenbush chops Gerard and comes off the second rope with a reverse cannonball. He palm strikes STIGMA and gives Delaney a backbreaker. He flips Gerard over into a facebuster for two. He puts Gerard in a Texas Cloverleaf. STIGMA knees Quackenbush in the neck to break it. Donst goes for a German suplex on STIGMA. Delaney charges and takes a belly-to-belly suplex from Donst instead. He then German suplexes Gerard. STIGMA chops Donst in the corner. He finds himself surrounded by all of the UnStable. STIGMA and Gerard elbow drop him as Delaney double stomps his chest. They then give Donst a triple powerbomb. Jigsaw breaks the cover. Gerard drops him with a running STO. STIGMA slams Delaney back first onto Jigsaw. Gerard locks him in the STF. Donst shoves STIGMA onto them to break the hold. He shoves Delaney into STIGMA into the corner. Quackenbush and Jigsaw double superkick Gerard. Delaney forearms Jigsaw to stop his Jig N’ Tonic attempt. Quackenbush dives onto Delaney who is now on the floor. Donst looks for a quick pin on STIGMA. STIGMA kicks out and hits the Stigmata for the pin at 18:45. This was a little long for what was essentially a backdrop for a Donst/STIGMA feud. I will say, Gerard and Delaney are fantastic when it comes to isolating opponents and did a good job doing so to Donst and Jigsaw. More Quackenbush action would have been preferred, but it was still decent for what it was. **¾

Ophidian says The Future is Now are only together due to unfortunate circumstances, while he and Amasis have been training for centuries as a team. If they couldn’t beat him and Escorpion Egipcio a couple months ago, what makes them think they can beat the real Campeones? Amasis says they can’t beat them and will humiliate them tonight. Egipcio says that Claudio Castagnoli’s nightmare has just begun.

Jimmy ‘Equinox’ Olsen {TFN} & Lince Dorado {TFN} vs. Amasis {OP} & Ophidian {OP}

Ophidian tries to get this one over with early by going for a variety of pin attempts on Equinox. Equinox nails him with his signature haymaker for two. Dorado and Amasis tag in. Amasis has to be held back by the referee from punching Dorado in the corner out of a lock-up. Dorado brings Amasis back to the corner and chops him up. They collide with stereo running shoulder blocks. Dorado uses the ropes for some armdrags. Amasis gets in a right hand. Dorado headscissors Amasis to the ropes. Amasis headscissors Dorado right back. Dizzy, they both fall down, but then nip up and get in each others’ faces. Ophidian trips Dorado. Dorado armdrags Ophidian and comes in with a slingshot seated splash. Dorado blocks a Mexican catapult with a Manhattan Drop. He and Equinox double biel Ophidian out of the corner. Equinox sends Ophidian to the floor. Amasis cuts off his dive attempt with a spinebuster. Amasis goes after Equinox’s mask. Equinox enzuigiri’s Ophidian and tags in Dorado. Ophidian goes after Dorado’s mask. Amasis kicks out Dorado’s legs. Dorado side steps a corner attack from Amasis. Amasis drops an elbow on his back so he can’t tag out. Dorado is isolated by the Portal until he catches them with a double bulldog. Equinox cleans house. He drives Amasis’ head into the mat with a Frankensteiner. Dorado stops the Portal’s double suplex. Equinox superkicks Ophidian. Dorado and Equinox give Amasis a tandem Hero’s Welcome for two. Equinox enzuigiri’s Ophidian. Ophidian however counters Dorado’s waterwheel slam with an Egyptian Destroyer. Equinox clotheslines Ophidian to the floor. Amasis stops Equinox’s dive. He rolls him up into a release back suplex and applies a Camel Clutch. Equinox passes out at 15:00. This was all a set up to Amasis challenging Equinox for the Young Lions Cup the next night. It succeeded in that respect, but the match itself was just alright. **½

Frightmare {I} vs. Brodie Lee

This is a rematch from “Face With A View.” Frightmare throws chops and strikes to Lee in the corner. He fails to take down Lee with a dropkick, so he slaps him repeatedly. Lee jabs Frightmare in the throat. Frightmare puts on a choke hold, but Lee easily throws him off of his back. Frightmare low bridges the ropes to send Lee out. Lee body blocks him from the apron to stop his dive attempt. Lee powerslams him for two. He also gets two with a Michinoku Driver. Lee lifts Frightmare up by the throat as he stands on the second rope. Lee gives him a super snapmare for two. Lee accidentally hits the ring post on the floor. Frightmare takes advantage by hitting a tope con hilo. In the ring he pulls off a step-up Frankensteiner. He drives Lee into the canvas with his knees in his face. He hits the Kneecolepsy for two. Lee blocks Frightmare’s prawn hold attempt with a wheelbarrow suplex. Lee big boots him in the corner. The running Liger Bomb gets him the pin at 7:04. This was a step-up from their initial encounter, mostly because Frightmare got to look a lot stronger and there’s more emotion behind their feud. They played the size mismatch perfectly and the crowd really dug it. **½

King of Trios 2009 Qualifying Match
Fire Ant {C}, Soldier Ant {C} & Worker Ant {C} vs. Icarus {F}, Gran Akuma {F} & Chuck Taylor {F}

F.I.S.T. attack the Colony as they’re making their entrance. Icarus throws Worker Ant head first into the ring post. Soldier Ant and Taylor end up in the ring. Soldier Ant takes him down with a saluting headscissors and follows him out with a pescado. Fire Ant tornado clutches Akuma for two. Fire Ant comes off Akuma’s shoulders with a neck drag. Fire Ant fireman’s carry’s him to the middle of the ring. He and Worker Ant double hip toss Akuma into a senton/legdrop combo. Icarus catches Worker Ant with a DDT. He and the rest of F.I.S.T. go head hunting on Worker Ant, targeting that in their onslaught of offense. Icarus misses the Ram Jam, allowing Soldier Ant to tag in. He takes out his frustration on Icarus and Akuma, hitting them with saluting forearms. He headscissors Akuma out. Icarus misses a spear and also goes to the floor. Soldier Ant suicide dives onto Akuma. Fire Ant forearms Taylor. He avoids the Awful Waffle and Burns Down the House on Taylor. He forces Icarus to give Taylor a stunner, then antzuigiri’s Taylor. Fire Ant and Soldier Ant put all three members of F.I.S.T. in triple figure four leg locks. Worker Ant dropkicks Taylor and the Colony break the hold. They triple dropkick Icarus. They give Akuma the Ants Marching dropkick. They go for the Ant Hill. Taylor gives Fire Ant Sole Food to stop them. Taylor boots Soldier Ant into a back cracker from Icarus. Worker Ant eats F.I.S.T. Kicks. Fire Ant breaks the pin. He wants the Beach Break on Icarus. Akuma counters with an assisted Tenchi Crash with Taylor. Icarus grazes Fire Ant with a senton across Akuma’s knees. Soldier and Fire Ant German suplex Akuma. Worker Ant gives him a lariat for two. He locks on the CHIKARA Special. Icarus boots Worker Ant to break it. He gives Worker Ant the Wings of Icarus for the pin at 11:25. Another great bout between these two factions. Both teams were very aggressive, showing how important competing in King of Trios was to both of them. A couple mis-timed moments the action was awesome. It’s just a shame both trios won’t be in the tournament. ***¼

Icarus tosses Worker Ant to the floor. Taylor gives him the Awful Waffle on the wood floor! Fire and Soldier Ant check on their fallen comrade. A Green Ant emerges from the back with a doctor to check on him. Fire, Soldier, and Green Ant all carry Worker Ant to the back. Unfortunately, the head injuries would prove to be too much for Worker Ant and he would have to retire.

Claudio Castagnoli vs. Escorpion Egipcio {OP}

Claudio shoulder tackles Egipcio. He ducks Egipcio’s clothesline and headscissors him to the corner. He goes for the Giant Swing. Egipcio spins out of it. Claudio crossbody’s him for two. He armdrags Claudio and sends him to the apron. Claudio sends Egipcio face first into the top rope. Egipcio snapmares Claudio into a dropkick to the back. He chokes Claudio in the corner. Egipcio kicks out his leg while holding onto a wristlock. Claudio fights back with uppercuts. Egipcio clotheslines him down twice. He smacks Claudio in the corner and bites him in the forehead. Claudio boots Egipcio away and Cactus clotheslines him to the floor. Egipcio and Claudio trade chops on the floor. Claudio dropkicks Egipcio back to the floor off of the ring apron and sends him deep into the audience with a suicide dive. Back in the ring, Egipcio lands on his feet out of a monkey flip. He back elbows Claudio in the face. Egipcio gets two with a Northern Light suplex. Claudio looks for the Ricola Bomb. Egipcio backdrops Claudio but Claudio lands on his feet. He comes off the second rope with a European uppercut. He finally Giant Swings Egipcio. Egipcio kicks out of Claudio’s pin attempt afterwards. He puts Claudio in a straight jacket choke Camel Clutch. Egipcio then drives him into the mat with a face crusher. He applies a figure seven. Claudio gets the ropes. He slides off of Egipcio’s shoulders. He uppercuts Egipcio in the neck and gives him Swiss Chin Music. The Ricola Bomb gets him the pin at 11:39. A fun battle of the big men was a nice way to cap off the evening. Egipcio got to show a lot of offense he doesn’t usually get to in tag bouts or against smaller opponents. Claudio was beloved making the dynamic easy and fun. It’s rare to get a battle of giants in CHIKARA so it was cool to see this, even after Claudio and Brodie’s extended feud. ***

We go backstage to F.I.S.T. Chuck Taylor says they proved that they are CHIKARA’s most dangerous trio. They destroyed Worker Ant and there is no more fun and games for F.I.S.T. He claims they’re taking King of Trios this year. Icarus says with all they’ve gone through with the Colony, this match was much more than just qualifying for the tournament. He admits they had ulterior motives. They are now the best trio in CHIKARA by design. They took out the winners of the 2008 Tag World and the team that eliminated them from last year’s King of Trios. From now on, it won’t be respect in their opponents eyes they see, it will be fear.


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