Face With A View


Easton, PA – 12.12.2008

Commentary is provided by Bryce Remsburg, Louden Noxious, Buck Hawke, Larry Sweeney, Amasis, Leonard F. Chikarason, and UltraMantis Black.

Grizzly Redwood introduces himself. He says where he comes from, there are acres of competition. Now the corduroy road to success has brought him to CHIKARA. All Redwood sees is a bunch of Charlie Brown Christmas trees. He says it won’t be any issue making an impact. Amasis says if he wants to make an impact to come talk to him.

Super Fun Times Over-the-Top- Rope Elimination Style No-Holds-Barred Masked-Dudes-Welcome Battle Royal of Doom [and Honor]

Carolina Jim is the guest ring announcer for the Battle Royal.

Order of Entry

– Rorschach
– USApe
– Darkness Crabtree
– Shun the Kabuki Kid
– Jervis Cottonbelly
– Pinkie Sanchez
– Dragon Dragon
– Dragonfly
– Retail Dragon
– Worker Ant {C}
– Love Bug
– Dr. Cheung
– Larry Sweeney
– Grizzly Redwood
– Sara Del Rey

Order of Eliminations

– USApe by Rorschach in 2:30.
– Darkness Crabtree by Dragonfly in 12:54.
– Dragonfly by Worker Ant 13:11
– Retail Dragon by Rorschach in 13:26
– Dragon Dragon by Worker Ant, Love Bug, Jervis Cottonbelly, Shun the Kabuki Kid, and Rorschach in 13:50.
– Jervis Cottonbelly by Shun the Kabuki Kid in 14:15.
– Love Bug by Rorschach and Shun the Kabuki Kid in 15:19.
– Rorschach by Pinkie Sanchez in 16:20.
– Shun the Kabuki Kid by Larry Sweeney in 16:56.
– Dr. Cheung by Sara Del Rey 19:35.
– Larry Sweeney by Grizzly Redwood in 20:45.
– Pinkie Sanchez by Grizzly Redwood and Sara Del Rey in 22:23.
– Worker Ant by Grizzly Redwood and Sara Del Rey in 22:38,
– Sara Del Rey by Grizzly Redwood in 22:45. Grizzly Redwood is your winner!

Grizzly spent the majority of his time in the ring, as well as some time after the match, doing damage to Worker Ant’s knee. Of course, this would end up being the directive of Amasis which he was discussing in the pre-match promo. This match was fun, a nice trip down memory lane. It was cool seeing some old characters we had not seen in years. The action was what it was (are battle royals ever great?) but they accomplished what they set out to do: Grizzly Redwood making an impact in his debut and Worker Ant being questionable for his tag match tomorrow. *½

Amasis wants to know why he and the Portal have been dealt such a treacherous hand by Osiris with his injured ankle. However, Osiris can be generous, as he sent him Escorpion Egipcio who faces Fire Ant tonight. Ophidian says Fire Ant will suffer for giving them a humiliating defeat at Tag World Grand Prix. Amasis says Fire Ant will be extinguished.

Fire Ant {C} vs. Escorpion Egipcio {OP}

Amasis is in Egipcio’s corner. Fire Ant attacks him with kicks and chops. Egipcio catches his crossbody, but Fire Ant spins out into a crucifix pin for two. Egipcio remains steadfast at Fire Ant’s kicks. Fire Ant tries to Burn Down the House but Egipcio counters with a wheelbarrow suplex. Fire Ant avoids a corner attack. He dropkicks Egipcio’s knee out, but Egipcio mows him down with a lariat. He backdrops Fire Ant and stands on his neck. Fire Ant tries a sunset flip. Egipcio muscles him up into a neck hanging tree slam. He snapmares Fire Ant into a basement dropkick. Fire Ant throws some clotheslines. Egipcio goes for a chokeslam. Fire Ant counters by Burning Down the House. He nails a pair of antzuigiri’s. He comes off the top with the Heat of the Moment. Fire Ant dropkicks Egipcio’s knee out. He low bridges the rope to send Egipcio out. Fire Ant tries a pescado. Egipcio catches him and tosses him back in the ring. Fire Ant comes back out with a tope con hilo. Egipcio feigns hurt so referee Jonathan Barber will check on him. Amasis runs in and attacks Fire Ant with his crutch! A TKO and the Plancha de Cairo (a top rope splash) get Egipcio the win at 6:13. They wrestled a good, solid match with an easy story to tell. Egipcio is a good enforcer for the Portal and works well with the smaller guys, just like Fire Ant. **

Shane Matthews says he hasn’t slept, ate, or bathed in six weeks. Jagged doesn’t believe the eating part, which Matthews admits was a fib. Matthews says all the frustration he has will be taken out on Cloudy because he hates his guts. He’s going to hurt him in the Boston Crab. Jagged says it will be a cloudy day for Cheech and Cloudy. Jagged says they’ll get one point tonight, then after that they’ll three points and the gold. Then Matthews can shave, shower, and continue to eat.

Cheech Hernandez & KC ‘Cloudy’ Day vs. Jagged {2.0} & Shane Matthews {2.0}

Cheech and Cloudy work over Jagged’s left arm. Cloudy sentons Jagged across Cheech’s knees for two. Cheech drop toe holds him into a low Diamond Dust from Cloudy. Cheech basement dropkicks him for one. Matthews knees Cheech as he hits the ropes. Jagged takes him down with a running STO. Matthews headbutts him in the ribs. Cheech is worn down by 2.0 until he takes Jagged down with a powerslam. Cloudy tags in and dropkicks Matthews. He drop toe holds Jagged. He tries a Frankensteiner on Matthews but trips on Jagged’s back. Cloudy recovers with an Ace Crusher to Jagged. Jagged eats Partly Cloudy with a chance of Cheech. They go for the Tidal Wave. Matthews runs in, so Cloudy drops him with a tornado DDT. Jagged slams Cloudy out of the Gory Special for two. Cloudy avoids an O’Conner Roll but gets popped up into a spear from Matthews. Cheech kicks Jagged to avoid the Sweet Taste of Professionalism. He bulldogs Matthews onto Jagged. Cheech and Cloudy drop Jagged with a tandem Roll of the Dice. The Tidal Wave only gets them two. Cloudy pescado’s onto Matthews. Jagged tries a jackknife pin onto Jagged. Cheech turns it into the Deluxe for the pin at 11:23. A couple sloppy moments aside this was a nice back and forth tag team match. You’d suspect these two would have good chemistry and you would be right. 2.0 really started to look strong around this time and Cheech and Cloudy usually deliver. **½

Soldier Ant {C} vs. Ophidian {OP}

Amasis is on commentary. Soldier Ant digs his foot into Ophidian’s back. Ophidian gets to the ropes to escape. Soldier Ant takes him down in a waistlock and then a hammerlock. Ophidian runs the ropes for an armdrag. Soldier Ant and Ophidian exchange nearfalls. Soldier Ant pops up Ophidian and has him drop right to the mat. Ophidian drop toe holds Soldier Ant into the middle turnbuckle. He throws some headbutts to his ribs and chokes him in the corner. Soldier Ant tries a rolling forearm. Ophidian ducks and Skins the Snake. He drives Soldier Ant into the mat with double knees. Ophidian misses a corner attack and ends up in a tree of woe. Soldier Ant capitalizes by hitting a diving saluting headbutt. Soldier Ant gets two with a brainbuster. Soldier Ant blocks a charging attack with a brainbuster. He goes for a TKO but Ophidian turns it into a prawn hold for two. Ophidian misses double knees off the top. Referee Nick Papagiorgio checks on Ophidian who is now on the floor writhing in pain. Amasis ties to attack Soldier Ant but ends up hitting himself with his own crutch! Soldier Ant feigns hurt. Ophidian comes back in. Soldier Ant baits him into a TKO for the pin at 9:17. This was an excellent match. I like that they built off of Amasis’ interference from earlier in the night, as it makes that finish less irksome. **¾

The Sea Donsters are backstage. Donst says tonight they will get payback for all that Mantis has done to them. Donst says he doesn’t even know why Mantis would go through all that for the reversal to the CHIKARA Special. Hydra says he knows and writes down why on a piece of paper. Donst isn’t sure what it means. The camera zooms in on the piece of paper and it reads “Eye of Tyr.”

Tim Donst {SD} & Hydra {SD} vs. UltraMantis Black {ONT} & Crossbones {ONT}

The Donsters send the Order to the floor with stereo forearm strikes. Crossbones ends up attacking the Donsters from behind. He throws kicks to Donst’s back as Mantis hangs Hydra in a tree of woe. Crossbones splashes Donst into Hydra. Mantis gives Hydra a modified belly-to-back suplex for two. Crossbones comes off the top with a senton for two. Donst drives Mantis’ face into the corner multiple times. Crossbones sneaks in from behind and suplexes him. Donst can’t lift up Crossbones. Crossbones kicks him in the back. The Order wear down Donst until he catches Crossbones with a neckbreaker. Hydra takes down Mantis and sends him into Crossbones. He throws the Order’s heads together, then takes them both down with a hooking clothesline. He puts the Hydralock on Mantis. They roll to the floor. Crossbones drops Donst with a running STO. Mantis backs Hydra into the wall. Hydra throws a flurry of forearms. They fight to the back, leaving Crossbones and Donst to fight. Crossbones powerbombs Donst. Donst comes back with the Donstitution for the pin at 7:00. Another fun chapter in the Donsters/Order feud. They told a good story revolving around Donst’s back and building to Hydra and Mantis’ singles encounter on Sunday. The action was pretty good, but I was most impressed with Crossbones work on Donst. **½

Brodie Lee comes out. He informs us that his rematch with Hallowicked is not happening tonight. He starts tearing apart a Hallowicked match when Frightmare attacks him, taking Hallowicked’s place!

Frightmare {I} vs. Brodie Lee

Frightmare attacks Lee and sends him to the floor. Lee catches his dive and slams him on the ring apron. Lee chops him up around ringside. In the ring Frightmare slaps Lee. Lee slaps him right back and gives Frightmare a bodyslam. Lee strikes Frightmare in the corner. He misses a big boot. Frightmare comes off the middle rope. Lee catches him, but Frightmare crucifix pins Lee for two. Lee nails the big boot for the pin at 3:05. Not a bad debut for Frightmare and a great squash for Brodie. Lee gives Frightmare a running Liger Bomb for good measure. *

Player Uno {SSB}, Player Dos {SSB} & Ultimo Breakfast vs. Icarus {F}, Gran Akuma {F} & Chuck Taylor {F}

Breakfast elbows out of Icarus’ waistlock and knocks him down with a running headbutt. Uno uses the ropes for an armdrag on Akuma. He sends Akuma out with a Hadouken to the stomach. Taylor springboard dropkicks Uno out. Dos armdrags Taylor twice. After some drop downs and leapfrogs he dropkicks Taylor to the floor and feigns a dive. Akuma dropkicks Dos to the floor. Breakfast headbutts Akuma in the chest repeatedly. Taylor grabs Breakfast’s foot so Akuma can forearm him. Breakfast ducks the Cheetah Swipe. He headbutts Akuma in the stomach and gives him a jawbreaker. Uno comes off the top but Akuma catches him with a sole butt kick. He fallaway kicks Uno into a boot from Taylor and a back cracker from Icarus. F.I.S.T. isolate Uno in their half of the ring. Uno maneuvers Icarus so that he gives Akuma an Ace Crusher. He enzuigiri’s Icarus and tags in Breakfast. Breakfast mows down Icarus with clotheslines and headbutts him for good measure. He throws Icarus and Akuma head first into each other while headbutting them. Dos follows them to the floor with a twisting pescado. Breakfast flapjacks Taylor. He hits the Breakfast Bomb for two. He calls for He’s Toast. Taylor slips out. Breakfast shoves Taylor into the ropes which crotches Icarus on the top rope. Breakfast tosses Taylor out of the He’s Toast into Icarus! Akuma breaks the pin. He rolls Dos up onto his shoulders. Dos spikes Akuma in a reverse Frankensteiner. Icarus cuts off Dos as he ascends the ropes. F.I.S.T. hits Shooty McGee on Dos. Icarus only gets a two count. Uno gives him the River City Ransom. Dos superkicks Icarus. Uno Mushroom stomps him. Breakfast comes off the top with a diving headbutt. Uno covers Icarus but both Akuma and Taylor break up the pin. Taylor boots down Uno. Akuma and Icarus double enzuigiri Dos. They then moonsault onto Breakfast and Uno on the floor. Taylor goes for the Awful Waffle on Dos. Dos fights out. He throws some kicks and looks for Final Smash. Taylor pulls him into the Awful Waffle for the pin at 10:01. I was surprised by how good this was. This had non stop action and everyone worked hard. Both trios looked great and the crowd had fun, as did I. A nice hidden gem. ***¼

NWA World Junior Heavyweight Championship
Mike Quackenbush (Champion) vs. Buck Hawke {FT}

This is a rematch from “Young Lions Cup V, Night III”, although that was not a title bout. After a lengthy wristlock exchange, Hawke decides he’s done with it. Quackenbush chops him to the outside. He continues chopping him on the floor. Quackenbush back chops him, then let’s most of the ringside fans chop Hawke. Quackenbush trips Hawke into a double leg clutch back in the ring. Quackenbush chops him again. The fans make fun of Buck’s name. Distracted, Quackenbush chops him once more. He kicks Hawke out of the corner and chops him again. Hawke traps Quackenbush in the ropes and gives him a back cracker. He applies a sharpshooter. Quackenbush gets the ropes. He goes for the Black Tornado Slam. Hawke rolls out of it. Quackenbush however gives him the Tiger Driver for two. Another Tiger Driver has the same result. Hawke gives him a chinbreaker. A diving basement clothesline and Ace Crusher get him a two count. Hawke wants a brainbuster. Quackenbush counters with an inside cradle. He palm strikes Hawke. Hawke ducks a second palm strike and hits the Tomahawke. Instead of pinning Quackenbush, he pulls down the straps and tunes up the band. He sarcastically says “I’m sorry, I love you” as he goes for Sweet Chin Music. Quackenbush catches his leg. He rolls Hawke back into the Lightning Lock Beta. Hawke taps out at 9:56. This was a lot like the first match, with the humor centering around Hawke being humiliated. Although he did get to look competent at times, there’s really not much about this match that stands out or is particularly memorable. A fine defense for Quackenbush but nothing more. **½

Jimmy ‘Equinox’ Olsen {TFN}, Lince Dorado {TFN} & Helios {TFN} vs. Vin Gerard {U}, STIGMA {U} & Colin Delaney {U}

Equinox, Dorado, and Helios are now a trio known as “The Future is Now.” Equinox rams Delaney’s head into opposite turnbuckles a few times before spiking him with a low Frankensteiner. Delaney rams Equinox into the turnbuckle. Gerard comes in but gets slammed by Equinox. Equinox then slams Delaney onto Gerard. Dorado armdrags Gerard. Gerard back elbows him down. Dorado gets in a few quick pinfall attempts. He sends Gerard out with a cartwheel armdrag. Helios and STIGMA tag in. STIGMA strikes Helios. Helios leapfrogs over him into an armdrag. He tries a couple roll-up variations to no avail. He tiger walks up STIGMA. Delaney pulls STIGMA out of the ring so Helios crash and burns on the cannonball senton attempt. Gerard knocks him down with a clothesline. Gerard back elbows Equinox and Dorado to anger them, and the UnStable take turns bullying Helios in their corner. Helios exits the ring when he evades a double suplex attempt. Both Equinox and Dorado come in to clean house. They double hip toss Delaney into Gerard. They double dropkick STIGMA in the sides of his head. Equinox accidentally forearms Dorado. Gerard catches Equinox with a running STO. He goes after his mask. Equinox is beaten down by the UnStable until he catches Gerard with a reverse DDT. Dorado won’t take Equinox’s tag! However, that’s because he set up Gerard by pulling STIGMA and Delaney off the ring apron. Equinox sneaks out. Helios knocks down Gerard with a spin kick before taking out Delaney and STIGMA with the Sasuke Special. Dorado takes the 2k1 Bomb from Gerard. Helios comes in with the Sky is Falling on Dorado. STIGMA German suplexes Helios. Equinox goes for the Overbomb on STIGMA but Delaney gives him a right hand. Gerard knee strikes Helios into an electric chair backcracker from STIGMA and Delaney. Gerard drives his knees into Helios’ chest. Dorado breaks the cover. STIGMA drops Dorado with the Stigmata. Equinox makes the save. STIGMA lifts Equinox onto his shoulders. Gerard misses a Doomsday Device and clothesline Delaney. Equinox spikes STIGMA with a reverse Frankensteiner. Dorado headscissors Gerard to the floor. Equinox DDT’s Delaney on the ropes while Dorado suicide dives onto Gerard. Helios hits a shooting star press on STIGMA for the win at 14:22. This was a nice way to establish the Future is Now as a cohesive unit. The UnStable kept things interesting during their beatdowns, especially Gerard who has such good facial expressions and movements. It was a fun main event and a good way to end the season in Easton, since so much of the UnStable/Dorado and Olsen feud has been set up there. ***¼


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