Tragedy & Triumph


Philadelphia, PA – 7.13.2008

Commentary is provided by Bryce Remsburg, Larry Sweeney, Louden Noxious, UltraMantis Black, Eddie Kingston, and Mike Quackenbush.

Leonard F. Chikarason is in a huge meeting on the West Coast. Therefore, tonight, Bryce Remsburg is the deputy Director of Fun. He is being pushed around by Steve “The Turtle” Weiner backstage. He tells referees Derek Sabato and Nick Papagiorgio that they are going to be the two referees in the Claudio Castagnoli vs. Brodie Lee match later tonight. This will be Papagiorgio’s referee debut in CHIKARA.

Eddie Kingston says he faces Lince Dorado tonight, the guy who he can point to as the beginning of the downfall of the King. He says just like Shane Storm, Dorado will have to pay for Kingston hating himself. He says Dorado will be laying down on his back having seizures again. He remembers the pain his family felt at “Chapter 11” and he can’t wait to see them cry again. He says some may call him sick, but, “the world is cold; bundle up.”

Lince Dorado vs. Eddie Kingston

Kingston tries attacking Dorado from the floor, but Dorado keeps him away with some dropkicks. Kingston throws him back first into the guardrails. Dorado dropkicks Kingston off the apron and suicide dives after him. Back in the ring Kingston catches him with an STO. He chops Dorado up against the ropes. He releases Dorado out of a suplex for two. More chops are dished out in the corner. Kingston yakuza kicks him in the opposite corner and chokes him on the ropes. He misses a second yakuza kick. Dorado kicks him in the back of the head and lands a springboard crossbody. He gets two with a springboard seated press. Kingston smacks him in the face but Dorado fires back with his own slaps. Kingston drops him with a uranage suplex. He gets two with an Emerald Frosion. Dorado takes him down with a tilt-a-whirl DDT. He misses a shooting star press. The Backfist to the Future gets Kingston the win at 4:35. Not much more than Kingston beating the crap out of Dorado, which was clearly the start of something. *

Dorado tells Kingston he’s not dead yet. He wants to continue their fight but Kingston won’t give him the satisfaction.

Ultimo Breakfast vs. Jimmy Olsen

Olsen lights up Breakfast with forearms right away. He goes after the mask but Breakfast stops him with a side headlock. He shoulder blocks Olsen down and headbutts him in the ribs. They ram each others’ heads into the turnbuckles. Breakfast takes him down with a backbreaker. Olsen trips Breakfast from the floor. He goes after the mask and drives Breakfast back first into the guardrails. Back in the ring he throws Breakfast head first into the mat. Olsen snapmares him and goes for the mask. Breakfast delivers a jawbreaker and some headbutts. He gets two with a fallaway slam. He gives Olsen another slam and heads up top. He comes off the top with a falling headbutt for two. He goes for He’s Toast. Olsen slides off and pulls off Breakfast’s mask, resulting in a DQ at 4:16. Not much of a match leading up to the finish. The direction they’re going with Olsen is an interesting one but the match could have been much better. *

Soldier Ant {C}, Worker Ant {C}, Player Uno {SSB} & Stupefied {SSB} vs. Icarus {F}, Gran Akuma {F}, Amasis {OP} & Ophidian {OP}

Akuma takes down Stupefied with some kicks. Amasis comes in with Soldier Ant. Amasis dances to distract Soldier Ant from a sneak attack from Icarus. Soldier Ant fights them both off. As Amasis and Icarus are arguing, Worker Ant comes in with a crossbody to Icarus. Soldier Ant sends him out with an elbow drop. Ophidian takes down Uno with a Frankensteiner. He rolls up Uno’s shoulders and into a victory roll for two. Uno rolls him into the Hadouken. Ophidian pauses Uno. Icarus puts him in a full nelson. Uno unpauses somehow. Icarus kicks him into a DDT from Akuma. They take off Uno’s Nintendo tights exposing his Spongebob tights and the Rudo quartet work him over in their corner. Ophidian takes too much after hypnotizing Uno and takes a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Amasis, now wearing Uno’s shorts, helps Icarus clear the apron of Uno’s partners. Amasis gets paused as he goes to ascend the ropes. Uno drops both Akuma and Icarus with a DDT/Complete Shot combo. Worker Ant takes down Ophidian with forearm strikes and a one-legged dropkick. He comes off the second rope with a Baba chop. He stops Ophidian from unpausing Amasis. Soldier Ant dives onto Icarus on the floor. Stupefied and Akuma trade waistlocks. Akuma gives him a modified Tenchi Crash for two. He drops Akuma on his head with a leg capture brainbuster. Icarus pitches Stupefied to the floor. He goes for a Shiranui on Soldier Ant. Soldier Ant avoids it. Worker Ant clotheslines Icarus from Soldier Ant’s shoulders. Ophidian takes the Colony down with a springboard clothesline. Uno goes for the Dig Dug Driver but Ophidian locks on the Death Grip. Stupefied superkicks Ophidian. Uno picks up Icarus and stuns him and Ophidian simultaneously. The Smash Bros. double team Ophidian in the corner. Uno accidentally cannonball sentons Stupefied. Icarus hits a rope-assisted Wings of Icarus for the pin at 12:35. This was weird. The action never felt like it flowed, the comedy didn’t hit as well it should have, and things just felt off most of the time. They got it together by the end but it was a strange match most of the time. **½

Uno and Stupefied argue as they head to the back. Uno says the cannonball was an accident. Stupefied doesn’t care as they have had many miscommunications lately. Uno knows that they have been having problems in CHIKARA lately and he thinks he has an answer. He hands Stupefied a box and says the answer to their problems lies inside. He leaves Stupefied with the box.

Larry Sweeney makes his way to the ring. He asks the crowd if he is looking good tonight or what? He says ever since he left Hellertown last month he’s been looking at things in perspective. He says Mitch Ryder crossed the line when they lost last month when he called him a loser. He says everybody in Philadelphia knows he’s a better wrestler than Mitch. He wants to face him in the ring one-on-one. This brings Ryder and Shayne Hawke to the entrance ramp. Ryder says they’re going to become the tag team champions and concentrate on being a tag team after tonight. Therefore, if Sweeney wants to get in the ring with Mitch, he’ll need to find himself a partner. Sweeney says he doesn’t care what match it is as long as he gets his hands on Ryder.

Chuck Taylor takes Incognito on a history lesson. Last year on his 21st birthday he won the Rey de Voladores tournament. This year Taylor wasn’t even invited into the tournament, so he claims Incognito is nothing more than a paper champion. He says tonight they will find out who the true king of the flippy little boys is.

Rey de Rey de Voladores
Incognito vs. Chuck Taylor {F}

Incognito ties up Taylor’s legs until he grabs the ropes. Taylor kicks the inside of his leg before grabbing a side headlock. Incognito trips him into his own. Taylor snapmares his way out of a full nelson. Incognito pulls him up into a Gory Stretch. He brings Taylor down into a backslide for two. They trip each other and kip up simultaneously. A Lucha sequence sees Taylor come off the second rope with an alita. He dropkicks Incognito to the floor and follows with a tope con hilo. Back in the ring he gets two with a springboard dropkick. Incognito catches him with a quebradora and dropkicks Taylor to the floor. He dives over the top right after him. Incognito hits a springboard clothesline for two. He hangs Taylor across the top rope and legdrops the back of his neck for two. Taylor almost gets two with a huracanrana but Incognito rolls through. He flips over Taylor and rolls him up in a Ranhei for two. Incognito misses a top rope splash. Taylor lands a lionsault for two. Incognito comes back with a powerbomb. He lands a springboard moonsault. A Swanton Bomb only gets two due to a very lackadaisical pin. Taylor crotches him on the top rope and brings him down with a superplex. They go back up top. Incognito hits a Spanish Fly for the win at 11:23. Incognito was just not interesting. Taylor gave him a lot and made him look good, but he did a lot of walking around and gesturing as opposed to giving a highly competitive bout. Just disappointing. *½

Mike Quackenbush vs. Shane Storm

Storm is booed quite vociferously. Quackenbush charges but Storm slides to the floor. He palm strikes him off of the ring apron and chops him around ringside. This leads to a forearm battle. Quackenbush backdrops Storm onto the ring steps! Storm shoulder blocks him from the apron. They get in a suplex battle leading to them both being on the ring apron. They both look for some bigger moves on the apron, but ultimately Storm DDT’s Quackenbush on the apron. Back in the ring Storm awkwardly clotheslines Quackenbush so that his knees bend backwards. Storm goes after Quackenbush’s left leg. Quackenbush gets the ropes to break a half crab. Storm misses a corner attack allowing Quackenbush to get in some chops. He windmill chops Storm. Storm forearms him in the neck before tossing him in a German suplex. He drives Quackenbush’s knee into his own leg. Storm misses a Swanton Bomb. Quackenbush comes off the top with double knees to Storm’s chest. Quackenbush goes for the CHIKARA Special. Storm instead puts on a Stretch Muffler. Quackenbush gets the ropes. He throws some slaps and drops Storm with a Tiger Driver 91! He puts on the CHIKARA Special. Storm submits at 8:26. However, Quackenbush refuses to release the hold, so referee Derek Sabato reverses the decision and awards the match to Storm! This was a heck of a battle and very fitting following Storm’s betrayal last month. Of course, this was only the beginning, but a fun start to things. ***¼

(You can watch the match in its entirety here.)

As Storm heads up the ramp, he is greeted by a clapping Vin Gerard. Storm shoves him aside and heads to the back.

We then cut to Gerard behind the arena. He gives Fire Ant congratulations on winning the Young Lions Cup. He says Bull Pain’s suspension has been up for some time now, yet Leonard F. Chikarason ignores his requests for a tag match. He hates that it took him months to get into the Young Lions Cup when Fire Ant got in by winning Rock, Paper, Scissors. He wants to know what LFC will do when he comes back from his business trip and Gerard is the new Young Lions Cup champion. He presumes LFC can’t ignore him then.

Young Lions Cup
Fire Ant {C} (Champion) vs. Vin Gerard

Gerard strikes as soon as Fire Ant enters the ring. Fire Ant sneaks in a couple armdrags. Gerard cuts him off with a back elbow. Gerard stops the Stop, Drop, and Roll but Fire Ant takes him down with a bodyscissors. He slingshots into a sunset flip for two. Gerard sends Fire Ant to the apron. He pulls at his chin and mask. Fire Ant tries a slingshot plancha. Gerard moves and dropkicks Fire Ant to the floor. He whips Fire Ant into the guardrails. He puts on a spinning toe hold back in the ring. Gerard does some more damage to Fire Ant’s leg before delivering a running knee in the corner. He ties Fire Ant’s mask to the ring rope and stomps on his leg while he’s trapped. Fire Ant knocks Gerard off the top rope. He falls away off the top rope with a dropkick that launches Gerard into the corner. He knocks Gerard down with a couple back elbows and takes him out with a fireman’s carry. Fire Ant’s bad knee prevents him from making a dive. Gerard drives him into the mat and goes for the STF. Fire Ant defends against it. Gerard reigns down with forearms to his neck. Fire Ant Burns Down the House and gets two with a prawn hold. He tries a Burning Hammer. Gerard’s weight causes Fire Ant’s leg to crumple. Gerard takes him down with a couple dragonscrew leg whips. He gets Fire Ant in the STF. Fire Ant rolls to the ropes. He stomps Fire Ant’s face into the bottom turnbuckle. He gives him a neck hanging tree slam and then turns Fire Ant into the STF. Fire Ant’s arm drops twice but he doesn’t pass out. Gerard brings a chair into the ring. He looks to stomp Fire Ant’s head into the chair but thinks twice when he realizes he would be disqualified. As referee Bryce Remsburg disposes of the chair, Gerard brings the Young Lions Cup into the ring. He plays possum trying to pull the old Eddie Guerrero stunt. Soldier and Worker Ant come out to set him straight. While Bryce is dealing with them, Gerard nails Fire Ant with the trophy. This gets him the pin and the Cup at 12:40. This lacked a lot of the emotion from their first encounter which hurt it a lot. The story was solid, but the Philadelphia crowd has never really been into Gerard’s matches up to this point. This was his best effort in Philly yet, but the finish, Fire Ant’s criminally short reign as Cup holder, and a lack of passion hurt the overall package. **¾

Tim Donst vs. UltraMantis Black {ONT}

Crossbones and Hydra are in Mantis’ corner. Crossbones’ distraction fails. Donst catches Mantis trying to attack and gives him a German suplex. He strings together a triumvirate of gutwrench suplexes. Crossbones trips Donst as Mantis distracts Bryce Remsburg. He drives Donst back first into the ring post which Hydra does not approve of. Mantis takes him over with a butterfly suplex. He delivers a Heart Punch. Donst backdrops Mantis onto Crossbones and Hydra. Donst dives off the top onto them. In the ring he tries a Gator Roll. Mantis counters and tries the Praying Mantis Bomb. Donst reverses with a backdrop. He tries the Donstitution. Mantis instead hits the Uncle Slam for two. Mantis tells Hydra to go for his staff. Hydra accidentally hits Mantis in the stomach with it, but doesn’t seem bothered. Donst successfully pulls off the Donstitution for the pin at 4:49. Like some earlier bouts, this was all angle. Good for a story but not much for the card as a whole. *

Mantis calls Hydra into the ring and expresses how angry he is with him. He calls Hydra a nothing and wishes he had never been born. Mantis slaps him in the face. Hydra slaps him back! Crossbones swiftly kicks him in the side of the head and stomps him down. Donst returns to the ring and clears out Mantis and Crossbones. He raises Hydra’s hand in victory. Hydra makes the belt motion on his waist, reminding us that he and Donst have three points and a Campeones de Parejas title shot in their back pocket.

Brodie Lee is excited about their match with no rules or consequences since that’s his world. He said he made a deal with Mitch Ryder tonight to guarantee victory not only for himself, but the Fabulous Two as well.

No Disqualification, No Count Out
Claudio Castagnoli vs. Brodie Lee

Derek Sabato is the official inside the ring while Nick Papagiorgio is stationed outside. Both men starts with chairs in hand. They lose those quickly as they go to the floor and trade blows. Lee sends Claudio face first into the apron. He tries to drop toe hold Claudio into the chair. Claudio puts on the brakes. He clotheslines Lee to the floor and leaps off the chair after him. Claudio sends Lee into the guardrails. He misses an uppercut causing him to slam kidney first into the rails. Lee pump-handle suplexes Claudio on the entrance ramp. In the ring he takes Claudio down in the corner with closed fists. He whips him into the opposite corner. Lee exposes a turnbuckle. Claudio blocks from being sent into it. Lee gives him a belly-to-back suplex. He chokes Claudio on the ropes. On the floor Claudio fires up with uppercuts until once more being whipped to the rails. Lee chokes Claudio with a table cover. He puts on a Bear Hug back in the ring. Claudio drop toe holds Lee into the second turnbuckle. Claudio peppers him with some closed fists. He ducks a clothesline and nails Swiss Chin Music for two. He drops Lee with the Alpamare Waterslide for two. Lee stops from being sent into the exposed turnbuckle. He gives Claudio the Truck Stop. He gets two with a powerbomb. Lee goes to slingshot Claudio to the corner. Claudio lands on the second rope. He dives off with an uppercut and ends up knocking down Sabato. Claudio Giant Swings Lee and slingshots him chest first into the exposed turnbuckle. He sets up Lee for the Ricola Bomb when Shayne Hawke runs out to distract him. Mitch Ryder sneaks in and throws a fireball in Claudio’s face! Lee big boots him for the win at 12:07. The fight was fun but a little repetitive. They did a good job utilizing the stipulation and further cementing the Fabulous Two/Brodie Lee relationship. ***

Mitch Ryder tells Shayne Hawke he’s been thinking. He’s a Memphis style wrestler and has seen that Hawke has grown to be a worthy partner. Ryder gifts Shayne a Memphis style name as his father figure: Buck Hawke. Buck has tears welling up in his eyes from this news. He thanks Ryder for bestowing the name upon him. Ryder then says they’re going to take the tag belts off of Incoherence.

Campeonatos de Parejas
Delirious {I} & Hallowicked {I} vs. Mitch Ryder {FT} & Buck Hawke {FT}

Delirious freaks out at the bell and chases Hawke around the ring. Hawke and Hallowicked get into a shoving match. Hallowicked takes him over with a step-up Frankensteiner. He and Delirious take turns forearming Hawke repeatedly in their corner. Hawke sends Hallowicked face first into the corner. Hallowicked responds in kind. He and Delirious now chop up Hawke in the corner. Hallowicked gets two with a Magistral cradle. He hits a step-up enzuigiri. Delirious nails the Panic Attack. Hawke rakes Hallowicked’s eyes. Ryder comes in but is taken down with an armdrag right away. Delirious takes control of the arm. Ryder forearms his way out of an arm hold, but gets taken back down with a hip toss and armdrag. Delirious drop toe holds Hawke face first into Ryder’s crotch. Delirious drives their heads together. Hawke’s chops have no effect. Delirious tosses him onto his stomach and sentons onto his back. Hallowicked sentons onto his back as well. He dropkicks Hawke as he’s draped across the top rope. Brodie Lee appears ringside. As Lee has Bryce Remsburg distracted, Ryder low blows Delirious and rolls him up for the first fall at 8:09. Bryce refuses to start the second fall until Lee leaves, which the Fabulous Two are of course unhappy with. Ryder attacks Incoherence at the start off the second fall. He and Hawke isolate Delirious in their half of the ring. Twice they prevent him from tagging in Hallowicked as they wear Delirious down. Finally, Delirious gives Hawke a chinbreaker and enzuigiri to escape. He slams Ryder. He catches Hawke with the Rydeen Bomb for the pin and second fall at 15:34. Hallowicked yakuza kicks Ryder for two. Incoherence hits him with the Side Winder. Hawke breaks the pin. Delirious and Hawke fight on the floor as Ryder gives Hallowicked a spinebuster. Ryder gives him a piledriver. Delirious breaks the pin. Ryder puts on a sleeper. Hallowicked’s arm drops twice. Ryder throws him back down to the mat by his mask and puts on a chinlock. Ryder goes for a knee strike to the stomach. Hallowicked counters with a schoolboy for the third fall and the win at 19:23. The story was sound and they got the nonsense out of the way early. The Fabulous Two’s act worked well against Incoherence and added a few good moments of drama. Even with three falls the finish felt abrupt, but it was another solid defense for Incoherence, making them officially the most successful CHIKARA Campeones de Parejas to date. ***¼


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