Wallingford, CT – 5.24.2008

Commentary is provided by Bryce Remsburg, Louden Noxious, Leonard F. Chikarason, and Mike Quackenbush.

Mike Quackenbush & Shane Storm vs. Amasis {OP} & Ophidian {OP}

Quackenbush takes down Ophidian with an armdrag. Storm tags in and grabs a wristlock. He backs Ophidian to the corner and breaks cleanly. He armdrags Ophidian to the corner. Ophidian uses the ropes to Skin the Snake into a headscissors. He rolls Storm up but can’t get his shoulders pinned. They trade chops. Storm cartwheels through an armdrag and dropkicks Ophidian to the floor. Quackenbush puts a full nelson on Amasis. He mares Amasis to the corner. Amasis ducks a clothesline. He puts Quackenbush on his shoulders and rolls him up into an armdrag. He uses the ropes for another. Quackenbush misses an enzugiri but pulls off a headscissors. He waterwheel slams Ophidian onto Amasis. He puts the Portal in a double sharpshooter. He’s forced to release it. Amasis dances his way over to Quackenbush and smacks him in the face. Ophidian kicks Quackenbush out of the ring. The Portal give Storm the Pyramid Suplex, leading them to trap Storm in the ring and keep Quackenbush at bay. Foolishly, Ophidian armdrags Storm close enough to Quackenbush for him to blind tag in. They each send Ophidian out with an armdrag. Storm catches Amasis with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. He pulls Ophidian off the apron. Quackenbush hits Amasis with the Quackendriver IV for two. He and Storm give Amasis a modified Total Elimination. Ophidian breaks the pin. He wheelbarrows up into a DDT to Quackenbush. He puts Storm in the Death Grip. Storm turns it into the Air Raid Crash for two. Ophidian shoves Storm off the ropes. He comes off the top with double knees for two. The Portal hit him with Mummification but Storm manages to kick out again. They go for the Slave Initiation. Quackenbush palm strikes Amasis out of the way, then German suplexes Ophidian. Storm hits Ophidian with That Japanese Move and dives onto Amasis. Quackenbush drops Ophidian with Quackendriver III for the pin in 16:15. This was both teams at their absolute best. The crowd was super hot which helped, but they built to the ending fantastically and the Portal looked incredible during the heat segment. One of my favorite opening matches in CHIKARA history. ***½

Jimmy Olsen vs. Vin Gerard

Olsen catches Gerard’s charge with a kick to the stomach. He places his Equinox mask on his head before throwing some strikes. Gerard hits the floor and looks to leave. Olsen pulls him back and armdrags him across the floor. He accidentally chops the ring post. Gerard chokes him back in the ring. He puts on a chinlock. Olsen avoids a backdrop at first, but Gerard gets it on the second try. He fish hooks Olsen’s mouth and gets two with a senton. He chokes Olsen on the middle rope. Gerard goes for his charging knee in the corner. Olsen instead catches him with a schoolboy for two. He takes Gerard over with a Frankensteiner. He nails an enzuigiri for two. He also gets two with a brainbuster. Gerard fish hooks Olsen by the mouth to take him off the top rope. He beats Olsen down in the corner, then successfully hits his running knee strike. He hits the Rude Awakening for two. Olsen kicks Gerard away. Gerard knocks him down with a running STO for two. Olsen avoids a corner attack. He comes off the top with a missile dropkick. Gerard lands on his knee avoiding the Overbomb. Gerard feigns an injury, baiting Olsen in for a strike. Olsen tries a sunset flip. Gerard sits down on it and grabs the ropes to get the pin at 7:38. This was really good back and forth wrestling. Gerard has become one of the top Rudos in CHIKARA while Olsen continues to prove himself in singles action. A nice kick off to what was to come for these two. **¾

Jimmy Olsen is backstage. Gerard approaches him, trying to cheer him up. Olsen says he doesn’t need him. He says he’s going to win the Young Lions Cup and says Colin is going to come back. Gerard says Colin isn’t coming back. He whispers to Olsen where Colin has been this whole time. Jimmy leaves without saying anything. Gerard says the truth stinks.

Cheech & Cloudy vs. Player Uno {SSB} & Stupefied {SSB}

Uno controls Cloudy by his arm. Stupefied punches him in the stomach. Cloudy comes off the second ropes with a crossbody. He also comes off with a Frankensteiner, then cascades up into an armdrag. Stupefied sends Cloudy to the floor with a neck-tie headscissors. Cheech and Stupefied each go for quick pins. Stupefied flips out of a headscissors and pulls off a toreador. Cheech backdrops him to the floor. Uno chops up Cheech in the corner. Cheech Superman spears him. He kicks out Uno’s legs. Cloudy hits him with a low Diamond Dust and Cheech dropkicks him. Uno counters Cheech’s Irish whip with the River City Ransom. Stupefied and Uno hit the Level 20 Wizard. Uno Shoryuken’s Cloudy as he’s on the top rope. He and Stupefied toss him feet first into Cheech. The Smash Bros. give him a neckbreaker/sidewalk slam combo for two. Stupefied also gets two with a standing moonsault. He misses a standing twisting senton. Cloudy avoids a corner attack. He comes in from the apron with a Blockbuster. Cheech and Cloudy double team Stupefied until he catches them with dropkicks at the same time. Uno unleashes with clotheslines and chops upon being tagged in. He gives Cloudy a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and Cheech a chinbreaker backbreaker. He catches Cloudy onto his shoulders. He gets two with the Dig Dug Driver. Stupefied misses a dive but lands on his feet. Cheech and Cloudy knock him down with stereo forearms. Cheech dives into the ring and schoolboys Uno for two. They hit the ST-Oh Snap for two. They double suplex Stupefied. Cheech gets tossed to the floor. Uno enzuigiri’s Cloudy. He waterwheel slams him into a back cracker from Stupefied. Cheech makes the save. Uno gives him a reverse brainbuster. Stupefied frog splashes after him. Cloudy breaks the pin in the nick of time. Uno accidentally M. Bison Stomp’s Stupefied! Cheech gives Uno a running knee strike. The Death by Knee gets Cheech and Cloudy the pin at 13:08. Another fantastic tag match where the crowd was hot, the action was great, and both teams looked awesome. Cheech and Cloudy are just the best. ***½

Jorge “Skayde” Rivera vs. Turbo

Turbo catches his trainer off guard with an armdrag. He grabs a hammerlock. Skayde picks him up onto his shoulders. He brings him over in a double wristlock. He armdrags him and kips up. Turbo armdrags Skayde into a Rivera Clutch for two. He catapults Skayde. Skayde grabs Turbo’s arm to block a front facelock. Turbo snapmares Skayde into the crowd. Skayde forcefully twists on Turbo’s arm, headbutting the arm when having it twisted. He puts on a courting hold. Turbo uses the ropes for a headscissors to escape. Skayde catches Turbo’s crossbody attempt. He slams him into an elbow drop. Turbo cartwheel armdrags Skayde into a crucifix pin for two. Skayde catches him coming off the ropes with a fireman’s carry. He reapplies the courting hold. Turbo runs the ropes and armdrags his way free. He rolls up Skayde’s shoulders and armdrags him to the floor. He follows with a tope suicida. Back in the ring, Turbo victory rolls into a crucifix pin. Skayde kicks out. He picks up Turbo on his shoulders. He armdrags off into another pinning combination. Skayde twists up Turb’s arm while locking his leg around his head. Turbo clearly taps out and Bryce calls for the bell, but the match keeps going? Turbo wheelbarrows up and rolls Skayde into a half crab with Skayde’s leg captured. Skayde counters with a fisherman’s suplex. He strings a stunner and clothesline together. He dropkicks Turbo in the side of the head for two. Turbo flips to the apron and comes back in with a high crossbody. He gets two with a small package. Same goes for a victory roll. Skayde rolls up into an elbow strike. He hooks Turbo in the Rivera Clutch for the pin in 11:51. The action felt really redundant. Armdrag, pin attempt, stuff off the ropes; it all grew old by the end. The false finish in the middle also took the wind out of everyone’s sails. The crowd was appreciative but there was nothing to get excited about, truthfully. *½

Leonard F. Chikarason announces Steve “The Turtle” Weiner as the next Young Lions Cup tournament entrant.

Tim Donst {ONT} & Hydra {ONT} vs. El Hijo del Ice Cream {IC} & Ice Cream Jr. {IC}

Jr. backs Hydra to the ropes and elbows him in the face. Hydra attempts a headscissors but can’t see it through. It takes a helicopter headscissors from the apron for him to be successful. Jr. tries a TKO but Hydra counters by sending him to the floor with an armdrag. Donst and Hijo tag in. Donst dizzies Hijo up by spinning around on his head while in a hammerlock. Hijo leapfrogs over Donst and kicks him in the chest. Donst gives him an overhand chop. Hijo begins to cry, baiting Donst into a leg kick. Hijo slaps his back. Donst now begins to cry. He baits Hijo into an armdrag, a fireman’s carry, and an amateur takedown. Hydra blind tags in. He high crossbody’s onto Hijo. Jr. jumps in and lands on his own partner. Donst assists Hydra to the apron. Hydra scares Hijo who turns around and sunset flips his own partner. Los Ice Creams trade pin attempts on each other. Once they realize what happened, they give Hydra a tandem Cold Stone Stunner. Hydra gets worn down in Los Ice Creams corner for awhile. Donst saves his partner from a tandem suplex and bulldogs both Ice Creams into the mat. Jr. chokes Donst in the corner. This leads to Donst being trapped in Los Ice Creams corner. Los Ice Creams argue over Donst’s positioning when Jr. goes to the top rope. Hydra shoves Jr. off the top rope unbeknownst to Hijo. Hydra tags in and takes out Los Ice Creams with forearm strikes. Hijo misses a corner splash. Jr. dropkicks him by accident. Jr. whips Hydra to the corner. Hydra catches Hijo with a hooking clothesline as he goes across the ring. He double stomps both Ice Creams. Hydra armdrags Hijo to the floor and evades Jr.’s senton attempt. Hydra comes off the top with a seated Thesz Press into a spinebuster from Donst. Donst powerbombs Hydra onto Los Ice Creams on the floor! Back in the ring, Donst gives Jr. an STO while Hydra drops Hijo with a Complete Shot. They go for ten punches in the corner. Donst gets sent to the floor while Hydra eats El Asesino. Donst breaks the pin. Los Ice Creams set him up for El Asesino. Donst catches Hijo with an atomic drop. He and Hydra put Los Ice Creams in the Hydralock at the same time. Los Ice Creams submit at 17:43! This had the perfect blend of wrestling and humor. It could have probably lost a few minutes and been more compact, but they managed to keep things rolling and entertaining throughout. Hydra and Donst now have three points and are pretty much universally beloved. ***

Gran Akuma says all great teams and athletes suffer setbacks. F.I.S.T. is no exception, especially when it comes to The Colony. Akuma says they buck that trend tonight. Icarus reminds us that the last time they were in this building The Colony beat them, but since then they have upgraded from Max Boyer to Chuck Taylor. He says they will do whatever it takes to make sure they’re never victorious over them again. Chuck says he’s going to eat the Colony tonight.

Fire Ant {C}, Soldier Ant {C} & Worker Ant {C} vs. Icarus {F}, Gran Akuma {F} & Chuck Taylor {F}

Icarus controls Worker Ant in an arm wringer. Worker Ant takes him over with an armdrag and single leg dropkick. Icarus’ shoulder blocks have no effect. Therefore, he puts the fanny pack on his shoulder, and this time he knocks Worker Ant down. Worker Ant puts his own fanny pack on his shoulder. He and Icarus knock each other down simultaneously. Worker Ant snaps Akuma’s neck across the top rope Randy Savage style. Worker and Soldier Ant launch Fire Ant from the floor into a sunset flip on Akuma for two. They switch standing submissions. Fire Ant headscissors Akuma to the floor. Taylor and Soldier Ant tag in. Taylor stops his saluting with a headlock. Soldier Ant breaks free and salutes again. He sends Taylor to the apron. Soldier Ant slingshots him back in. He forces Taylor to salute and do some push-ups. He Oklahoma rolls Taylor for two. He then gets Taylor to march around. He rolls him up for another pin. Taylor kicks Soldier Ant and pulls out a grenade. Things go slow-mo as he pulls the pin out and tosses it. F.I.S.T. takes cover. Soldier Ant shoves his partner out of the way and he dives onto the grenade. When it explodes, Taylor drops an elbow and we resume normal speed. Of course, the blast leaves Soldier Ant ripe for the picking, as he finds himself isolated in the F.I.S.T. half of the ring. Soldier Ant caught Akuma and Icarus with double clotheslines but Taylor stopped him from tagging out. Soldier Ant manages to send Icarus to the floor with an armdrag. He dives after him, legally bringing in Worker Ant. He takes out Akuma and Taylor with strikes. Fire Ant comes in with a high crossbody. Worker Ant and Fire Ant dive onto Akuma and Taylor on opposite sides of the ring. Icarus gets sent to the corner with a Frankensteiner from Fire Ant. All three Colony members hit him with the Ants Marching dropkick. Akuma does the deal with a Falcon Arrow on Worker Ant while Taylor powerbombs Fire Ant. Both guys get a two count. Soldier Ant misses a corner attack. He eats F.I.S.T. Kicks. Taylor brings him off the top rope with a Frankensteiner. Both Icarus and Akuma frog splash onto him. Worker Ant breaks the pin. Akuma German suplexes him, as does Icarus. Fire Ant Burns Down the House on Taylor. Icarus catches him with a Death Valley Driver. Soldier Ant TKO’s Icarus. Akuma blocks Soldier Ant’s wheelbarrow attack and gives him a t-bone suplex. Worker Ant saluting chops Akuma. Taylor gives him a running boot for two. Taylor springboard dives onto Soldier Ant, Worker Ant, and Icarus on the floor. Akuma and Fire Ant trade chops. Akuma ends it with a fallaway kick. Fire Ant pops right up. Akuma rolls him up into a facebuster. He misses a moonsault. Worker and Soldier Ant hit the Ants Marching neckbreaker. The Colony goes for the Ant Hill. Icarus brings Fire Ant down with a back cracker to end it. Taylor Awful Waffles Worker Ant. Soldier Ant falls victim to Dinner and Drinks for the pin at 17:20. These two trios are absolute magic together. They all manage to bring out the best in one another and have super fun, exciting matches. This was the best yet.

Mitch Ryder says it looks like he and Lince Dorado have come circle. If Dorado thinks he forgot about his haircut from last year, he’s dead wrong. He’s also wrong if he thinks the legend Pantera is going to save him. He reminds Shayne Hawke that they will get their third point tonight if they win, then they’ll go after those other masked hoochadoors Incoherence. Hawke says they will get that third point. Ryder says it doesn’t matter whose across the ring from them, they’re on a roll and will win every time.

Lince Dorado & El Pantera vs. Mitch Ryder {FT} & Shayne Hawke {FT}

Dorado trips Hawke into a front facelock. He rubs his head against Hawke’s like a cat to get him off of his game. Dorado uses the ropes to armdrag out of a wristlock. Hawke wants a test of strength. Dorado obliges. Hawke kicks out Dorado’s leg. He mocks his seizure from a few months earlier by writhing around on the ground. He tags in Ryder which also brings in Pantera. Ryder’s hip toss brings him great joy. He also celebrates an armdrag. Pantera responds with his own hip toss and armdrag, as well as a bodyslam. Ryder slips out. Pantera catches Hawke with a hip toss. He slips out to allow Ryder to get in a double axe handle from behind. Pantera takes him to the corner and headstands into a dropkick. Hawke tries a running double axe handle on Dorado. Dorado avoids it, using the ropes to snap off a pair of armdrags and a Frankensteiner. Ryder catches Dorado with a kick to the back from the apron and Hawke takes him down with a clothesline. The Fabulous Two take turns wearing down Dorado, cheating when they can. Pantera gets in a tag but Hawke strategically had Bryce Remsburg distracted so he would not see it. Hawke misses a Swanton bomb. Finally, Dorado makes a tag . Pantera comes in with a flying headbutt tope. He catches Ryder’s boot and delivers a dragonscrew leg whip. The Fabulous Two knock him down with back elbows. Hawke and Pantera fight on the floor. Meanwhile, Ryder kicks Dorado in the groin behind Bryce’s back. He schoolboys Dorado for the pin at 14:25. This was a smartly worked old school type of a match. It was far different from the other tag bouts on this night but in a good way. Dorado did a great job getting sympathy. The crowd loved booing Ryder and Hawke which made for a good atmosphere. **¾

Brodie Lee says tonight he becomes the top dog in CHIKARA. He says Claudio has been running around as the top dog for years. He’s going to put a figurative bullet in his head because it’s his time now.

Claudio Castagnoli vs. Brodie Lee

This is a rematch from “Passion & Persistence”, which ended in a DQ due to Claudio accidentally hitting referee Derek Sabato with Swiss Chin Music. Lee big boots Claudio as he’s taking off his shirt. He throws a flurry of punches. Claudio throws some kicks to the stomach. He punches Lee to the corner. They trade chops. Lee jabs him in the throat. Claudio press slams Lee to the floor! He folllows with a suicide dive over the top rope. Claudio looks to suplex Lee from the apron to the floor. Lee instead forearms Claudio over the back and brings him back in the ring. He throws Claudio overhead with a release belly-to-belly suplex. After some strikes in the corner, Lee whips Claudio across the ring and follows in with a lariat. Bryce stops Lee from choking Claudio with his shirt. Lee rips at his face. He puts on a Bear Hug. Claudio frees himself. Lee gives him a body block and throat thrusts him to the floor. Claudio follows Lee out. Lee whips him into a few rows of chairs and slams him on the floor. Back in the ring Lee attempts a suplex. It takes some time, but Claudio eventually manages to reverse it. He throws some uppercuts. He hits the Match Killer for two. He goes for the Alpamare Water Slide. Lee fights out. He hits the ropes. Claudio catches him with a powerslam for two. Claudio wants a German suplex. Lee grabs the ropes to block. On Claudio’s second attempt he gets it. Lee manages to kick out. He gives Claudio the Truck Stop. He tosses him out of a pumphandle suplex. Lee wants a chokeslame. Claudio elbows out and throws more uppercuts. He tries a diving uppercut. Lee however catches him in mid-air and chokeslams Claudio for two. Claudio comes back with the Alpamare Water Slide for two. Lee blocks the Swiss Chin Music. He gives Claudio a torture rack for two. Lee uncharacteristically goes to the top rope. He comes off with a Superfly Splash. Claudio kicks out. Lee goes for the Big Boot. Claudio moves out of the way and Lee ends up hitting Bryce Remsburg! Lee clotheslines Claudio. Lee goes for the Liger Bomb. Claudio counters with the Giant Swing. He calls for the Ricola Bomb. Lee knees Claudio in the stomach and throws him with a powerbomb. Bryce regains consciousness and calls for the bell at 14:55. He awards the match to Claudio via DQ. Lee tries attacking Claudio, but Claudio hits him with Swiss Chin Music. He wants the Ricola Bomb but Lee manages to escape. This was more heated than their first encounter making it slightly better. The action was also intense and good but seemed to fizzle a bit by the end. I like the symmetry this had with the first match in terms of the ending, as I am not tired of seeing them wrestle. ***¼


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