Framingham, MA – 5.23.2008

Commentary is provided by Mike Quackenbush, Louden Noxious, Bryce Remsburg, Shayne Hawke, Leonard F. Chikarason, and Jimmy Olsen.

2.0 are in the back. Jagged says it’s been a long time since they have been in CHIKARA and that he’s a little nervous about returning. He says over the year and a half they were in the company, they got smitten with the CHIKARA crowd; almost like lovers. And then the phone stopped ringing. He says that they broke their hearts, but tonight, they’re back to seduce us. Shane Matthews says in the last six months they were in East Russia training. Tonight, we’ll feel the flow of 2.0. Boo Ya.

Amasis {OP} & Ophidian {OP} vs. Jagged {2.0} & Shane Matthews {2.0}

The Portal declare a dance off, besmirching 2.0 by dancing to their theme song “Beat It.” 2.0 act like they’re going to play along but attack the Portal instead. Matthews accidentally forearms Jagged. Ophidian takes Matthews down with a headscissors. The Portal dropkick Jagged to his corner. Jagged catches Amasis with a forearm in the opposite corner. Matthews clotheslines him into a knee drop from Jagged. Jagged knocks Ophidian off the apron so 2.0 can team up on Amasis. Amasis eventually takes down Jagged with a diving shoulder tackle. Ophidian takes out Matthews with a flurry of offense. He gives him a split-legged splash. He goes for the Death Grip but Matthews backs him into the corner. Ophidian responds with a Ranhei for two. Jagged drops him with a Gory Bomb. Amasis comes back in with a missile dropkick. He knocks down Jagged with a running knee strike. Matthews gives Amasis a spinning neckbreaker. Ophidian makes the save. 2.0 hit him with a fireman’s carry/neck breaker combo. They set up for the Sweet Taste of Professionalism. Amasis interrupts it. Ophidian schoolboys Matthews for two. He and Amasis give Jagged a shoulder block/chop block combo. The Osirian Sacrament gets them the pin at 8:17. 2.0 looked a little off in the beginning but managed to get things together by the end. Amasis especially looked good here. I think these two teams could have a much better contest today, but this was a solid tag opener as it is. **¼

Vin Gerard says he asked Leonard F. Chikarason for a tag match but now he finds himself in Massachusetts with a singles match against Create-A-Wrestler. Leonard comes into the picture and says he’s fed up with the constant demands. Gerard says Bull Pain’s suspension is up. LFC asks if Gerard doesn’t think he can handle the singles competition CHIKARA has to offer. Gerard rolls his eyes at the notion.

Create-A-Wrestler vs. Vin Gerard

Gerard throws his Equinox mask at Wrestler, who puffs his chest out to block it. He gives Gerard a hip toss and armdrag. He holds onto a double wristed hammerlock. Gerard gets the ropes. Wrestler dropkicks him to the floor. He chops Gerard around the ringside area and back in the ring. Gerard wants a handshake. Wrestler knows better. Gerard straight up attacks him with a forearm. He keeps control with a back elbow. Wrestler comes in from the apron with an Oklahoma Roll. Gerard mows him down with a lariat. He delivers a running knee strike in the corner. He hangs Wrestler in a tree of woe and charges at him with a tackle. Wrestler fights Gerard off the ropes. He slides back into a suplex. Wrestler then catches him with a spinebuster for two. He goes for a slam. Gerard reverses into a schoolboy. Wrestler kicks out but Gerard transitions into the STF. Wrestler taps out at 6:48. This is maybe the best Create-A-Wrestler has ever looked. Both him and Gerard wrestled a smart match with good counters and flow. Color me surprised. **½

Jimmy Olsen vs. Icarus {F}

Icarus teases a test of strength but instead grabs a waistlock. He and Olsen trade wristlocks and hammerlocks. Olsen breaks out a side headlock. He sends Icarus to the corner with a standing Frankensteiner. Icarus avoids his top rope attack and nails a dropkick. He Russian leg sweeps him into a seated Octopus stretch. He chokes Olsen on the top rope and applies a sleeper. He drives his body weight onto Olsen’s neck on the middle rope. Icarus goes for a crossface. Olsen grabs the ropes. Icarus misses a corner clothesline. Olsen missile dropkicks him across the ring. Icarus takes him down with an enzuigiri leaving both men on the mat. Back on their feet Olsen catches Icarus with a crucifix pin for two. Icarus then hits the Shiranui for two. Icarus goes for a Death Valley Driver. Olsen counters with a German suplex. He goes for the Overbomb. Icarus avoids it, but Olsen takes him down in a Mouse Trap cradle for the pin in 6:28. Short, but a nice win for Olsen. It would have been preferable for him to go over using the Overbomb and/or Piledriver, just for the sake of getting those over, but the message was still sent. After the match, Leonard F. Chikarason invites him into the Young Lions Cup tournament. **¼

Lince Dorado & Turbo vs. Gran Akuma {F} & Chuck Taylor {F}

Akuma and Turbo look for control on the mat. Turbo pulls off a wheelbarrow armdrag. Akuma kicks him in the leg twice. Turbo sends him to the floor with a headscissors. Taylor knocks down Dorado with a shoulder block. Dorado leapfrogs over Taylor into a monkey flip. He ends a Lucha exchange with an armdrag to send Taylor to the floor. Dorado fakes a dive, but turns around and eats a sole butt and fallaway kick from Akuma. Dorado finds himself isolated in F.I.S.T.’s half of the ring. They set up Dorado for the Broken Arrow. Turbo trips Taylor as he hits the ropes. Turbo sends Akuma to the floor and Dorado suicide dives after him. Turbo gets a couple different pin attempts in on Taylor. Dorado and Turbo hit stereo tiger feint kicks on Taylor and Akuma. They then pull off stereo springboard huracanrana’s for two. Turbo goes for a headscissors. Akuma catches him. Taylor assists with an Ace Crusher. Dorado breaks the pin. He goes for a cartwheel elbow. Akuma instead catches him with a release German Suplex. Dorado falls victim to Dinner and Drinks but still kicks out. Turbo clotheslines Akuma in the corner. Dorado takes Taylor down with a twisting senton as he’s standing. Turbo headscissors Akuma to the floor. Dorado grazes him with a springboard Asai moonsault. Taylor catches Turbo’s wheelbarrow. He picks him up into the Awful Waffle for the pin in 11:18. Akuma and Taylor really are my favorite F.I.S.T. duumvirate. They worked really well here, as did Turbo and Dorado, and they managed to keep the Lucha more crisp than we’re used to seeing from the Luchadores. **¾

Tim Donst {ONT} & Hydra {ONT} vs. Grudyin {KBB} & Tucor {KBB}

Grudyin is half angler-fish and half gorrilla. Tucor is a toucan/gerbil hybrid. They represent Dr. Cube’s Posse. Tucor absorbs Hydra’s running shoulder tackles. Frustrated, Hydra wants a test of strength. While they’re in the test, Donst pulls out a miniature version of a strength tester you would find at the carnival. Hydra wins that. Grudyin comes into to complain. Hydra and Donst schoolyard trip them both, then drop them with an STO and Complete Shot. Hydra and Donst both come off the top with splashes onto the Grudyin for two. Tucor grabs a tricycle. Donst also gets one for a game of chicken. Grudyin accidentally leads Tucor into a wall. Donst pushes Hydra in a tricycle, chasing Grudyin and Tucor back into the ring where they run into each other. Donst tosses Grudyin out. Hydra puts Tucor in the Hydralock. Tucor submits at 4:48. This was totally bizarre. Dr. Cube reprimands his monsters after the match. ½*

Mike Quackenbush is backstage with his Atomicos team for the night which includes Stupefied, Cheech, and Worker Ant. He’s looking forward to test out and challenge his partner Shane Storm. Stupefied seems trepidatious about facing his own partner. Cheech looks forward to punching Cloudy in the face. Worker Ant comes into the picture and says he can’t find Tim Donst anywhere. He asks if Quackenbush is worried about him. Quackenbush says no, then quickly says the only thing they need to be worried about is their match tonight.

Atomicos Increibles
Mike Quackenbush, Worker Ant {C}, Cheech & Stupefied {SSB} vs. Shane Storm, Soldier Ant {C}, Cloudy & Player Uno {SSB}

Worker Ant starts off with Storm. After some back and forth, they each bust out some armdrags. Worker Ant grabs Storm’s nose which he broke just five days ago and smacks down on it! Uno and Stupefied tag in. They evade each other’s offense. Uno catches Stupefied with a knee to the stomach. He snaps off a couple of armdrags. The Hadouken hits Stupefied in the stomach. Quackenbush chops Uno before sending him to the floor. Soldier Ant tags in. Quackenbush puts on a courting hold. Soldier Ant salutes in an attempt to break free. Quackenbush releases the hold leading to an armdrag exchange. They each go for a pinfall. They salute one another before tagging in Cheech and Cloudy. Cheech takes Cloudy down with a shoulder block and a headstand headscissors. After fighting over a knuckle lock, Cheech uses the ropes for a Frankensteiner. Cloudy catapults himself up into a victory roll for two. He bounces off the ropes with an armdrag. Cheech catches him coming into the corner and tosses him stomach first to the apron. He drop toe holds Storm as he tags in. Team Quackenbush take turns wear down Storm for a bit. Storm rolls to the floor after Quackenbush and Cheech pull off some of Cheech and Cloudy’s typical tandem offense. Uno comes in and is immediately taken down with a suplex by Cheech. He gets triple teamed by Worker Ant, Stupefied, and Cheech. When he rolls out, Soldier Ant comes in with his own partner. Worker Ant gets two with an antzuigiri. Quackenbush works over Soldier Ant with a gutwrench suplex and a Romero Special. All four of the opposition toss Soldier Ant in the air. Cloudy breaks the pin. Worker Ant puts him in a Dragon Clutch. Cloudy escapes and nails a jumping kick as Worker Ant comes off the ropes. Uno drops him with a stunner. Stupefied attacks Uno from behind. Uno gets the better of their exchange. He, Soldier Ant, and Cloudy hit him with the Ants Marching dropkick. Quackenbush comes in but Soldier Ant tosses him to the floor right away. Cloudy brings him back in so he can get quadruple teamed in the corner. Cheech avoids the same fate, sending Cloudy into Uno and taking down Storm and Soldier Ant with a headscissors combo. Cheech and Stupefied hit Cloudy with Partly Cloudy with a chance of…Stupefied. Uno Shoryuken’s Stupefied to the floor. Cheech gives Uno a pumphandle suplex. Storm breaks the pin. Quackenbush palm strikes Storm. Storm responds with the Air Raid Crash for two. Quackenbush gives him another palm strike. He gets two with a brainbuster. Uno shoves Quackenbush to the floor with Storm. He waterwheel slams Worker Ant into a back cracker from Cloudy. Stupefied dropkicks Uno and breaks up the pin. Soldier Ant German suplexes Stupefied. Cheech breaks the bridge. Quackenbush and Worker Ant crawl up Storm and Uno’s back, who are holding Cheech in the corner, to suplex Cloudy off the top. Stupefied frog splashes Cloudy. Uno breaks the pin. He, Soldier Ant, and Cloudy set Worker Ant up for the Ant Hill. Storm follows up with That Japanese Move. All three of his partners make the save. Quackenbush tope con hilo’s onto Uno and Cloudy while Cheech dives onto Storm. Stupefied dives onto all of them with a cancun twisting tornado. Worker Ant avoids Soldier Ant’s saluting forearm. He goes for a slam. Soldier Ant instead rolls Worker Ant into the CHIKARA Special. Worker Ant taps out at 20:11. That was a blast to watch. They didn’t waste our time with long, drawn out heat segments, but rather easily digestible ones that had a little more tension to them than usual. Matches like this are best served as showcases and it’s safe to say just about everyone got a chance to shine. This was fun, exciting action pretty much from bell to bell. ***¾

Jorge “Skayde” Rivera vs. El Pantera

Pantera holds onto Skayde in a neck-tie headscissors. Skayde ties up his legs in a figure seven. He switches to a front facelock. Pantera rolls it into an armbar. He headstands his way into an armbar. He goes after Skayde’s legs, but Skayde applies an armbar. Pantera puts on a surfboard, then stretches out Skayde’s legs and arms. Skayde takes control over Pantera’s arms. They lock legs. Pantera grabs a double wristlock. Skayde monkey flips out of it. He uses the ropes for a headscissors, as does Pantera. Skayde gets on a modified stretch muffler. Pantera grabs Skayde’s arms to get him to release it. Skayde spreads apart Pantera’s thighs apart with his feet. He releases. Pantera shoulder blocks him to the mat. Each of them use the ropes for armdrags. Skayde fakes a dive. He legdrops Pantera when Pantera drops down. He puts on a reverse figure seven. Pantera escapes and puts Skayde in a Cerebro Lock. Skayde rolls him into a seated Octopus and gets two with a crucifix pin. Pantera puts on a modified Romero Special. Skayde pops out and again figure seven’s the legs. Pantera escapes. He and Skayde victory roll one another. Skayde ends up outside the ring and Pantera suicide dives after him. Pantera gets two with a headscissors back in the ring. Skayde rolls up into a dropkick, sending Pantera back out. This time he follows with a tope con hilo. Pantera avoids a dropkick and hits one of his own. Skayde catches Pantera in the corner and drops him on his face and chest. He puts on the Romero Special. He’s forced to let go and Pantera slaps on a cloverleaf. Skayde grab the ropes. He gets two with a crucifix pin. Pantera spinwheel kicks him. He slingshots Skayde. He attempts to reapply the Romero Special but can’t get it. Skayde armdrags him off the top rope. He goes for a figure seven but Pantera counters with a small package. They chop each other on the top rope. Pantera brings Skayde down with a Frankensteiner for two. Skayde gets his own two count with an O’Connor Roll. Skayde tries a tornado clutch which gets countered into a crucifix from Pantera. They knock each other down with clotheslines. They end up rolling each other up onto their shoulders for a double pin at 22:55, ending the match in a Draw. An interesting choice for a finish. The crowd is somewhat respectful of the decision even if it feels wildly political. This match didn’t feel nearly as long as it went, but it did get somewhat redundant. That being said, these two gelled really well, put on some excellent submission wrestling and kept things moving and engaging. For that, I can appreciate what they did. Given what we have seen from these two in other matches I was not looking forward to this and ended up pleasantly surprised. ***¼

Mitch Ryder is excited to not only get only get his hands on Claudio Castagnoli but Incoherence as well. He hasn’t forgot what Claudio did to the Kings of Wrestling last year. Incoherence are marked men as the Campeones de Parejas which Mitch says belong to him and Shayne Hawke. He says that Brodie Lee is going to put his big boot to Claudio’s head while the Fabulous Two beat down Incoherence. Hawke says he hates Swiss Chocolate since it rots your teeth, but it won’t be as bad as when Brodie kicks his teeth out. Ryder does a little pep talking to Brodie, as if it’s needed.

Claudio Castagnoli, Delirious {I} & Hallowicked {I} vs. Brodie Lee, Mitch Ryder {FT} & Shayne Hawke {FT}

Claudio is showing team unity by also wearing Delirious’ tights and mask. Both of them freak out at the bell. They do some mirror spots. Claudio pulls off his mask and embraces his no longer confused partner. Lee pushes Claudio to the mat in an overhead wristlock. He jabs him in the throat when Claudio powers up. Claudio dropkicks him to the floor. He hip tosses Hawke and tags in Hallowicked. Hallowicked twists on his left wrist. Hawke’s shoulder block attempt fails. Hallowicked rolls him up for two. Hawke jabs him in the eyes and tags in Ryder. Ryder takes an armdrag right away. Hallowicked rolls him up for two, then armdrags him again. Ryder punches him in the face. He gets in a slam but misses an elbow. Once again Hallowicked armdrags him. Claudio puts on a wristlock. Delirious headbutts the locked elbow joint. He cranks Ryder’s arm over his shoulder multiple times. Delirious bites Ryder’s fingers. Claudio cranks Ryder’s arm across his shoulder. Ryder knees him in the stomach. Lee comes in and immediately slaps Claudio. Claudio responds with an uppercut. He ducks Lee’s initial boot, but Lee gets it the second time. Claudio kicks out. Lee gives him some throat thrusts and a hard clothesline in the corner. Hawke and Ryder join Lee in Claudio’s beatdown. Claudio manages to escape their grasp after he and Lee knock each other down with simultaneous clotheslines. Both Hallowicked and Delirious tag in. They work over Ryder and Hawke in opposite corners. Claudio dives over the top rope and onto Lee on the floor! Hallowicked backdrops Hawke and yakuza kicks Ryder to the floor. He follows Ryder out. Delirious drop toe holds Hawke into the corner. He hits the Panic Attack. Shadows Over Heck gets the pin at 13:12. This was a super fun match to end the show. Lee is so on point with his offense and was the MVP during the heat, doing whatever it took to ensure Claudio couldn’t tag out. This was a nice precursor and continuation of two feuds, both done effectively and leaving you excited for future matches. ***¼


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