CHIKARA: The Lost Files

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The two matches in this review were featured on a bonus DVD that came with “Stephen Colbert > Bill O’Reilly.”

Create-A-Wrestler vs. Larry Sweeney
“Bread and Buddha” – Collegeville, PA – 3.25.2007

Jonathan Barber is the ring announcer and Eddie Kingston is on commentary. Wrestler digs his head into Sweeney’s back. He rolls him into a crucifix pin for two. Sweeney rolls out to catch his breath and claims his trunks were pulled. Sweeney gets in a few shoulder blocks. Wrestler armdrags him twice and dropkicks him to the floor. Sweeney threatens to leave but ends up coming back. He cleanly breaks a lock-up in the corner. He tosses Wrestler to the floor and rakes his back. He throws Wrestler’s head into the apron. He gets two with a butterfly suplex. Sweeney pulls down the straps. He slams Wrestler and Garvin stomps him. Sweeney climbs the ropes. Wrestler throws him off. He gives Sweeney a backdrop and a flipping neckbreaker for two. Sweeney clobbers Wrestler in the neck with a forearm. The 12 Large Elbow gets him the pin at 6:52. Wrestler looked more competent than I expected but there wasn’t much to this at all. *½

Ophidian, El Hijo del Ice Cream {IC} & Ice Cream Jr. vs. UltraMantis Black {ONT}, Hydra {ONT} & Crossbones {ONT}
Camden, NJ – 7.4.2007

This is Ophidian’s CHIKARA debut. Hijo whips Crossbones to the corner and gives him a hip attack. Crossbones’ chop causes Hijo to faux cry, then kick Crossbones in the leg. Hijo hurts Crossbones’ nose then gives it a kiss. He pinches Crossbones’ buttocks and smacks him in the face. He rolls to the floor and Hijo feigns a dive. Ophidian and Mantis exchange wristlocks. Ophidian utilizes a toreador and overhand chops Manti in the corner. He comes off the second rope with another armdrag to send Mantis out. Jr. and Hydra tag in. Jr. gets the upper hand from the initial exchange. Hydra’s shoulder blocks don’t do much. Jr. uses the ropes for some armdrags. Crossbones comes in before Jr. can dive. He hip tosses Jr. to the corner. He accidentally chops his own partners. Hijo comes in with a crossbody. Repeat Crossbones accidentally chopping his partners. Mantis and Hydra chop back. Ophidian crossbody’s onto both of them. They respond with a tandem clothesline. The Order beats down Ophidian. He finds the time to roll to the floor. Jr. jumps in but is immediately attacked by Mantis. He gets worn down until he’s sent out with a triple boot. In comes Hijo who also finds himself outnumbered. He baits Crossbones and Hydra in the corner and clotheslines Mantis. Ophidian and Jr. jump in to help dish out chops. Hijo and Crossbones go to the floor. Hydra tries to chokeslam Jr. but can’t. Jr. gives him a dropkick and a senton. They go to the floor. Ophidian sends Mantis out with a hiponesa. Hijo butt bumps Crossbones back to the floor and follows with a kick from the apron. Mantis chokes Ophidian with his foot. The Order triple suplex their opponents. Ophidian headscissors Mantis to the floor and follows with a pescado. Los Ice Creams put Crossbones and Hydra in stereo Octopus stretches. Both men verbally submit at 15:20. This was pretty much what you expect from a Los Ice Creams/Order trios match. Ophidian wasn’t doing too much, though it’s interesting that he was a Tecnico before debuting on the main show as a Rudo. **½

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