Stephen Colbert > Bill O’Reilly

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State College, PA – 12.9.2007

Commentary is provided by Mike Quackenbush and Leonard F. Chikarason.

This was an extra, free show CHIKARA held in order to make up for the scheduled main event from “Chapter 11” not taking place.

Mitch Ryder comes out with a fresh buzz cut, courtesy of his loss to Lince Dorado at “Chapter 11.” He’s in good spirits. He runs down the college crowd and says tonight they will see a primadonna college kid (Tim Donst) get his tonight. He says when he’s dragging Donst around the ring tonight, he hopes everyone in the crowd will know he was hoping it was them. He will show everybody why all he needed was his fists to get him through life.

Fire Ant {C}, Soldier Ant {C} & Worker Ant {C} vs. UltraMantis Black {ONT}, Hydra {ONT} & Crossbones {ONT}

Soldier Ant snapmares Crossbones into a chinlock. He maneuvers Crossbones into a saluting position before taking him over in an armdrag. Crossbones utilizes his own armdrags in response. Soldier Ant ducks some offense before giving him a saluting headscissors takedown. Hydra and Fire Ant tag in. Fire Ant takes over in a test of strength, placing Hydra on the mat and getting him stuck. Hydra Mexican catapults his way into a quesadora armdrag. He comes in from the apron with a double knuckle lock drag. Fire Ant comes off the second rope with another armdrag. He sends Hydra out with a fireman’s carry. Worker Ant and Mantis tag in. Worker Ant wins a Lucha sequence with a one-legged dropkick. Mantis catches him coming out of the corner with a clothesline. He gets two with a suplex. The Order take turns beating down Worker Ant until he catches Crossbones with a moonsault block. Fire Ant comes in with a high crossbody on Crossbones. Fire Ant takes down Hydra and Mantis with dropkicks, then antzuigiri’s Crossbones for two. A cravate chain with all competitors is formed, except for Hydra who ends the chain with a stunner to everyone. Hydra celebrates like Stone Cold. He then finds himself being tossed onto his partners by all three Colony members to the floor. Fire Ant is then Antapulted onto all of them. In the ring Crossbones uranage’s Worker Ant. Soldier Ant gives him a saluting Ace Crusher. He goes up top for a dive but Mantis catches him with a gut buster. Fire Ant missile dropkicks Mantis. Fire Ant ascends the ropes. Hydra chokeslams him off the second rope for two. The Order take down all of the Colony, but only get two counts for their troubles. Mantis and Crossbones are sent to the floor. This leaves Hydra to take the Ant Hill, giving the Colony the win at 12:57. This was a whole lot of fun. Both teams looked impressive, with Hydra having possibly his best performance to date. The college crowd was really into it too which always helps. ***

Shane Storm vs. Vin Gerard

Vin Gerard is the re-christened Equinox who published this message on YouTube a couple weeks earlier. He is wearing ripped up black tights over his Equinox gear and is carrying his mask with him. He throws his mask at Storm before violently jumping him. He throws punches with great fury. Storm counters a side slam with a headscissors to the floor. Storm follows and finds himself in a forearm exchange. He gets the better of Storm before throwing him back into the ring. Storm toreador’s Gerard back out after a short Lucha exchange. Storm tope con hilo’s after him. He misses a crossbody off the second rope. Gerard sentons his back for two. He throws forearms at his face and tries removing the mask. He stops when threatened with a disqualification. He chokes Storm with his boot. Gerard then drives his head repeatedly into the second turnbuckle and delivers a running knee strike to the face. After another forearm exchange, Storm drops Gerard with a DDT. He comes off the second rope with a crossbody for two. He tries a few more pin attempts to no avail. He also gets two with a German suplex. Strom tries the Air Raid Crash. Gerard rolls up Storm to counter. Storm kicks out his knee. He misses That Japanese Move. Gerard sweeps out his leg. Instead of going for his old finisher, the standing Shooting Star Press, he locks on an STF. Storm taps out at 8:32. This was a great way for Gerard to showcase his new character. He came off as more vicious, calculated, and quite frankly a better performer than he ever was as Equinox. Storm was a very interesting choice for his first opponent given where they would be a few months later. Storm held up his end of the bargain in making Gerard’s first match a success. **¾

Cheech, Cloudy & Sara Del Rey vs. Icarus {F}, Gran Akuma {F} & Brodie Lee

Sara and Icarus fight for control. Sara takes him to the mat. Icarus retreats to the ropes when she gets a nearfall. Sara snapmares him into a back kick and a seated splash. She comes in from the apron with a Frankensteiner. Icarus misses a crossbody. Sara hits one of her own and back heel trips Icarus. Akuma and Cheech tag in. Cheech works his way out of a headscissors and gives Akuma an overhand chop. Akuma puts on a modified Octopus stretch. Cheech escapes and locks on a keylock/butterfly lock combo. He armdrags Akuma to the floor and suicide dives after him. Cloudy tries his best to take down Lee. He instead succombs to Lee’s running shoulder block. Cloudy however is able to throw a few kicks to the mid-section. Lee mows him down with a lariat. Sara attacks Lee from behind. She throws some forearms in the corner. Lee goes to give her a big boot, but Cloudy takes the hit for her. Thus begins the bullying of Cloudy by Lee and F.I.S.T. Cloudy manages to take down both Icarus and Akuma with a Blockbuster, leading to Icarus giving Akuma a DDT. Lee misses a boot. Sara boots down Icarus and Akuma. She gives Lee two boots. Cloudy and Cheech deliver stereo top rope rope dropkicks, allowing Sara to German suplex Lee. Cheech and Cloudy hit an enzuigiri/superkick combo. Sara hits a second German suplex. Icarus breaks the count. He gives Cloudy the EVO. Cheech makes the save. Cheech then takes F.I.S.T. kicks. Akuma gives him a super Frankensteiner into a frog splash from Icarus. Sara breaks the pin. She gives Icarus the Royal Butterfly suplex. Akuma breaks it up. Cheech gives Akuma the Burnout. With Cloudy they hit Partly Cloudy with a chance of Cheech. They hit Death by Knee. Lee knocks them down to break the pin. He boots Sara in the corner before hitting the running Liger Bomb for the pin at 12:52. Lee with F.I.S.T. is such an awesomely bad ass triumvirate that it’s almost a shame it was a one time thing. Lee and Cloudy work the big man/little man dynamic flawlessly. This was even more fun than the opening trios match, and the crowd really dug it too. ***¼

Tim Donst vs. Mitch Ryder

Ryder gets to the ropes to break a waistlock. He claims Donst pulled his tights. After bad mouting the fans, he trips Donst and kicks his hamstring. He twists on his ankle. Donst kicks Ryder away and sweeps out his legs. Ryder catches him coming off the ropes with a back elbow. He drives Donst’s face into the canvas. Donst blocks a clothesline with a tornado clutch. Ryder kicks out and delivers another back elbow. He drops an elbow twice and stomps on Donst’s face. Donst reverses an Irish whip and gets two with an O’Conner roll. Ryder clotheslines him back down and applies a chinlock. Donst escapes and gets two with a sunset flip. He chops Ryder to the corner. Ryder takes him down with a spinebuster. He goes to the second rope. He notices somebody in a hoodie. Ryder figures out it’s Lince Dorado who reveals himself shortly after the revelation. Donst rolls up Ryder while he’s distracted, getting the win at 6:54. The story was simple, with the bitter uneducated Ryder fighting the young, collegiate hometown hero. Despite them keeping things basic they easily got the crowd into it. *½

El Hijo del Ice Cream {IC} & Ice Cream Jr. {IC} vs. Amasis {OP} & Ophidian {OP}

Amasis and Hijo do a little dancing. Hijo kicks Amasis in the stomach. Amasis avoids some offense. He does a little more dancing but gets pinched in the buttocks. Hijo kicks Amasis after pretending to cry from an overhand chop. Amasis responds with a Japanese armdrag and a legdrop. Hijo dances with him. Annoyed, Amasis gives him a leg lariat. Jr. and Ophidian enter. He shoves Jr. into Hijo and bites his buttocks. Ophidian baits him into a high crossbody from Amasis. Jr. and Ophidian exchange wristlocks. Ophidian whips Jr. to the canvas and Tiger walks him in the corner. He gets two with a seatbelt pin. He rolls Jr. around in a Gedo clutch for two. Hijo strikes Ophidian in the stomach from the apron. Ophidian crossbody’s them both down. Jr. catches him with a powerbomb. Los Ice Creams isolate Ophidian in their half of the ring. He slips out of the ring after Hijo hip tosses Jr. onto him. Amasis enters and is immediately hit with an Ice Cream sandwich. Los Ice Creams wear him down until he sends them both to the floor with a double dropkick. Amasis dives off the top rope onto both of them. In the ring the Portal take them both down with stereo prawn holds. Ophidian hits Jr. with a spinwheel kick. Amasis clips his leg before Ophidian hits a reverse lariat. Hijo breaks the pin. Los Ice Creams toss Ophidian into a double facebuster and a double seated splash. Amasis breaks their pin. Amasis drops Hijo stomach first onto Ophidian’s knees. Amasis backslides him with an assist from Ophidian for two. Jr. tosses Ophidian to the floor. Hijo gives Amasis the Cold Stone Stunner. He hits El Asesino off Jr.’s shoulders. Ophidian runs across their backs to break the pin. Ophidian boots Hijo to the floor. Amasis bulldogs Jr. The Portal hit the Osirian Sacrament. Ophidian pescado’s onto Hijo while Amasis Oklahoma Rolls Jr. up for the pin at 13:55. This felt a little long but both teams put in a good effort. I appreciated that they made the match a little more serious than one would expect, but I feel like they could have injected a little more humor given the crowd they were playing too. Still, a very good tag match. ***

Claudio Castagnoli vs. Chris Hero

Hero wears Equinox’s mask to the ring. Claudio takes Hero to the mat and locks up his legs in a sharpshooter type move. Hero key locks Claudio’s legs and clubs his neck. Claudio switches back into a double arm stretch. Hero rolls that into a prawn hold. He kicks Claudio twice in the head. After looking for control of a wristlock, we get a quick exchange of pinfalls, ending with Claudio putting on a Camel Clutch. He tries a Romero Special, but Hero grabs at Claudio’s ankle to trip him. He delivers three kicks to the side of the head. Claudio slingshots in from the apron with a sunset flip. Hero reverses it into a folding press. Claudio successfully puts on the Romero Special. Hero gets the ropes. He stomps at Claudio’s feet and hands. After a few strikes, Claudio gets up for a Lucha sequence. He stops Hero with a slap to the face. He unloads an uppercut in the corner. Hero grabs the ropes to avoid a Giant Swing. He rolls to the apron but gets knocked right off. Claudio misses a pescado but lands on his feet. Hero uses the ropes for a boot to the face. He keeps Claudio grounded with strikes and boots. Hero gets two with a senton splash. He gives Claudio a series of kidney strikes. He ducks under Hero’s leapfrog and comes off the second rope with an uppercut. Claudio successfully pulls off the Giant Swing for two. He comes off the second rope with an elbow drop for another two count. Claudio tries the Alpamare Waterslide but Hero counters with an O’Conner Roll. Hero then hits a Blockbuster for two. He misses a leaping corner elbow and eats an uppercut. Hero comes back with a rolling elbow and a running boot. He brings Claudio off the second turnbuckle with a Cravate-O-Clasm for two. Claudio ducks another boot and hits Swiss Chin Music. The Alpamare Water Slide hits for two. Hero blocks the Ricola Bomb with a huracanrana. Claudio rolls through. Hero hits another rolling elbow and releases Claudio out of a suplex. He calls for the Hero’s Welcome. Claudio counters with a backslide. Hero blocks an uppercut and tries his own backslide. Claudio rolls through and hits the Ricola Bomb for the win at 15:44. Although it’s nobody’s fault, moving this from the finale to this bonus show I think took a little bit of heat and momentum away from the match. These two had a lot of singles matches in 2007. This was one was similar in that it was good, but for one reason or another wasn’t great. They told a very good story and Claudio getting the win was absolutely the right call but the crowd was not as hot as I was hoping for such a big blow off match. ***¼

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