Here Come The International Invaders: Stage I – Attack of the Phantom Sith

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Reading, PA – 8.17.2007

Commentary is provided by Leonard F. Chikarason, Larry Sweeney, Mike Quackenbush, UltraMantis Black, Chris Hero, and Bryce Remsburg.

Rahim Ali proclaims himself to be royalty. He says nobody will forget his name once he’s done with the CHIKARA locker room.

Shane Storm vs. Rahim Ali

After a wristlock exchange Storm puts on a side headlock. Storm takes Ali down with a couple of armdrags and a forearm strike. He delivers a dropkick. Ali rolls to the floor. Storm chases him back into the ring where Ali catches him with some boots. Ali transitions from a Gourd Buster into a Last Chancery. He releases and stomps on Storm’s back. Ali gets two with a dropkick. Storm responds with a DDT. Some forearms, including a flying variant, get a two count. Ali comes back with a lungblower. Storm kicks out. He slams Ali onto his stomach and hits That Japanese Move for the pin in 5:07. These guys did not work well together. It doesn’t help that Ali’s only means of portraying himself as a Rudo was lots and lots of trash talking to the fans. ¼*

Tim Donst vs. Alex Payne {ROH}

Payne knees Donst off the ring apron during his entrance. He attacks him on the floor. He brings Donst back in. Donst takes Payne off of his feet. Payne gives him an atomic drop. He kicks away at Donst after putting his Wrestle Factory hoodie over his head. Payne only gets one with a suplex. Donst maneuvers out of a crucifix and rolls Payne into a Guillotine. Payne punches his way free. Donst gets two with a cradle. Payne stomps him on the mat. Donst comes out of the corner with chops until Payne sends him face first into the middle turnbuckle. He drives his knees into Donst’s chest for two. Donst strings an STO right into the Gator Roll. Payne kicks out. Payne comes out of the corner with a tornado DDT for two. He comes off the top with a legdrop. Donst kicks out of that as well. Donst rolls up Payne in an abdominal stretch for the win at 5:43. Donst’s solidly building the reputation as being resilient and able to withstand a lot of pain. It was a solid victory for him and Payne did a remarkable job as the villain. *½

Moscow vs. USApe

USApe avoids a spear. Moscow avoids a monkey flip. Moscow chops USApe in the corner before chop blocking his leg out. USApe body blocks Moscow as he comes off the ropes. He pulls off the monkey flip and drums on Moscow’s head. USApe hops onto his back for a sleeper hold. Moscow escapes and calf kicks him. He suplexes USApe and hits the Russian Sickle. Moohammad the Terrorist Cow comes out from the entrance. This catches Moscow off guard. USApe rolls him up for the pin at 3:08. That was fun while it lasted. I don’t think the Moohammad story ever paid off, sadly. ½*

Jigsaw vs. Shayne Hawke

Hawke claims he will make Jigsaw “humble” when he takes him down to the mat. Jigsaw avoids the humbling twice. He wins a wristlock exchange and goes for a humbling of his own. Hawke reverses and when he goes to apply the Camel Clutch, Jigsaw has already slid away. Jigsaw gives him a suplex for two. Hawke begs off but Jigsaw slaps him in the face. Jigsaw bulldogs him out of the corner for two. Hawke gives him a jawbreaker and an enzuigiri. He snapmares Jigsaw. Jigsaw fights away but Hawke throws him down by the back of his head. Hawke is finally able to get the Camel Clutch on. Jigsaw stands up and backs Hawke into the corner. He hits him with an enzuigiri. Jigsaw goes for a superkick. Hawke blocks it and tries the Tomahawke. Jigsaw blocks that and goes for his own Camel Clutch. Hawke counters with a cradle with the ropes to get the surprise pin at 7:05. Hawke’s been racking up some bigger wins to get him primed for an inevitable Kings of Wrestling jump. This was another one of those instances, and a pretty good match to boot. The Camel Clutch deal was amusing and I’m glad it amounted to something. **¼

The Olsen Twins are backstage. Jimmy Olsen says there is nothing worse than losing to a bunch of ants, but they got themselves an insurance policy. Colin Olsen says they got a ride from their partner tonight who threw their Savage Garden tape out the window. Brodie Lee, who has ditched the tassels and tights for a trucker gimmick, is the Olsens partner. He says the ants will get squashed.

Fire Ant {C}, Soldier Ant {C} & Worker Ant {C} vs. Colin Olsen {OT}, Jimmy Olsen {OT} & Brodie Lee

Colin and Fire Ant fight for a waistlock. Fire Ant gets in a couple of fireman’s carry’s. Lee attacks Fire Ant from behind. He forces Jimmy to tag in with Worker Ant. Worker Ant takes him dowin with a forearm and dropkick. He applies a chinlock which Lee breaks. All three Colony members attack Lee in the corner. Lee throws them all off. He knocks down Soldier Ant with a hard clothesline. He along with the Olsens beat down Soldier Ant in their half of the ring. Soldier Ant ducks some strikes from Jimmy and takes him down with a saluting headscissors. Fire Ant takes down the Olsens with some forearms. He dropkicks Lee off the apron. A headlock chain is formed with Worker Ant, Fire Ant, and the Olsens. Soldier Ant gets the Olsens to salute, allowing him to dropkick both Olsens into schoolyard trips. The Olsens get dropkicked to the floor. Lee dropkicks Fire Ant to stop the Antapult! He sends Soldier Ant to the floor and clotheslines Worker Ant. The running Liger Bomb gets Lee the win at 7:22. This is how you make a man go from joke to monster in one match. Lee comes off as a force to be reckoned with immediately and by association made the Olsens look stronger than ever. This was a really fun and a good showing by everybody. ***

Claudio Castagnoli {KOW} vs. Akira Raijin {AJ}

Both men look for control. Claudio sneaks in a crucifix pin for two. Raijin’s shoulder block attempts are thwarted. Claudio takes him down in a side headlock. Raijin hops over Claudio in the corner. He gives him a release belly-to-belly suplex and gets two with a Northern Lights suplex. Claudio gives him an uppercut and back elbow for two. He slams Raijin into a legdrop. He boots Raijin in the head twice before chopping him in the corner. Claudio suplexes him for two. He deadlifts Raijin in a gutwrench suplex. He nails an uppercut. Raijin gets his foot on the ropes to escape the pin. Claudio tries sending him to the apron but Raijin’s foot gets caught in the ropes. Claudio takes advantage by stopping him while he’s trapped. Referee Derek Sabato frees him. Claudio puts on a half crab on the floor. Raijin uses the ropes to get to the apron. He slingshots in over Claudio and nails a spinwheel kick. He favors his good leg after, delivering a corner clothesline and a lariat for two. Claudio blocks an Irish whip with the Match Killer. He reapplies the half crab. Raijin breaks it. He catches Claudio on the top rope and brings him down with a knee strike to the face. He drops Claudio with an STO for two. Claudio ducks a lariat and hits Swiss Chin Music. Raijin kicks out. He slides off Claudio’s shoulders. Raijin hits the Lightning Flash. Claudio kicks out. Claudio blocks a hammerlock DDT with the Alpamare Waterslide. He puts on a Sharpshooter. Raijin pulls himself to the ropes. Claudio throws some uppercuts which fire Raijin up. He dumps Claudio on his head in a Saito suplex. Larry Sweeney distracts the referee so Chris Hero can attack Raijin with a chain. It backfires when Sabato discovers the chain and DQ’s Claudio at 12:02. This infuriates Claudio, so Hero and Sweeney run to the back. This match was actually going a long pretty well and was just about to go into a fun finishing stretch when the finish came. I can rationalize the finish but it’s still dissatisfying to see a good match end like that. ***

Ricochet vs. PAC

These guys had some stellar matches in 2011 so I’m interested to see how they worked together four years earlier. As expected, these guy start hot and heavy. Ricochet catches PAC with a spin kick to the chest. PAC backflips over a basement dropkick. Ricochet hops onto PAC’s shoulders and leg whips him. He spinkicks PAC to the floor. He flies out after him. PAC moves but Ricochet lands on his feet. PAC then comes out from the ring with a twisting tope. In the ring he puts Ricochet in a straightjacket choke. Ricochet gets the ropes. PAC lifts him up into a suplex. He gets two with a leg lariat. Same goes for British Airways. Ricochet avoids a corner attack. He Tiger walks up PAC and throws multiple kicks to knock him down. He hits the cannonball senton for two. Each guy fights for a German suplex. Ricochet drives PAC into his knee with a backbreaker. Ricochet comes off the second rope with a moonsault block for two. He also gets two with a handspring twisting senton. PAC gives him a spinebuster. After a second rope moonsault he gives Ricochet a Tiger suplex. Ricochet kicks out. PAC lifts him up for a waterwheel slam. Ricochet blocks it with a Kentucky Destoryer. He’s popped up but drops PAC with Chocolate Rain for the pin in 7:58. This had all the back and forth, exciting action you would want. Really the big differences between now and then is the crispness and fluidity and the story behind the moves. Otherwise, this was a crazy fun showcase match. ***¼

Eddie Kingston understands this weekend is about International talent so it makes sense that he would wrestle Brute Issei. Typically he would see this match at as opportunity but it’s still not what he really wants: a match with Hallowicked. After this weekend though, CHIKARA’s going to give him the match he wants. All Brute Issei is to him is a roadblock.

Eddie Kingston {BO} vs. Brute Issei {AJ}

Issei wrenches on a hammerlock. Kingston transitions into a side headlock. Issei turns it into an overhead wristlock. Kingston gets the ropes. He slaps Issei in the face. Issei snakeyes him into the turnbuckle and shoulder blocks him down. Kingston kicks him to avoid a backdrop. He gives him a neckbreaker. They trade chops until Kingston pokes Issei in the eyes. A Northern Lights suplex earns a two count. He knees Issei in the mid-section. Kingston throws more chops. Issei evades a yakuza kick and splashes Kingston in the corner. He clotheslines Kingston into the canvas for two. Kingston gets in the yakuza kick. He drops Issei with a uranage suplex for two. Issei ducks the Backfist. He drops Kingston on his head with a Saito suplex. He lariats Kingston for two. They trade slaps and boots. Kingston throws forearms. Issei throws them right back, backing Kingston to the ropes. Kingston blocks a lariat and hits the Backfist to the Future for the pin at 6:20. Even for a match on the shorter side this packed a big punch. It’s not common Kingston squares off with a guy who can dish out the strikes like he can but we got just that here. I’m all for Kingston looking strong. **¾

The Kings of Wrestling quartet of Chris Hero, Chuck Taylor, Larry Sweeney, and Mitch Ryder are hanging out backstage. They face four Luchadores tonight. The only one Hero cares about is Dorado due to suffering two losses to him and getting Ryder suspended. Dorado is back to humilate Dorado and expose him for the low life he is. Chuck Taylor says he’s been unstoppable lately. He’s going to kill the Luchadores tonight and Ricochet tomorrow night. Larry Sweeney is going to inflict some pain onto Las Chivas and the rest of the Lucha team.

Lince Dorado, Equinox, Chiva II & Chiva III vs. Chris Hero {KOW}, Chuck Taylor {KOW}, Larry Sweeney {KOW} & Mitch Ryder {KOW}

To Hero’s surprise, Equinox takes their opening exchange with some Lucha sending Hero to the floor with an armdrag. Taylor and II tag in. II takes Taylor down with a couple headscissors. Sweeney and III come in. III takes a picture with Bryce after trying to shove him into Sweeney’s crotch. Sweeney slaps III in the face after backing him to the corner. Taylor yells at a child to wake up. III slaps Sweeney back in the opposite corner. Sweeney drives his shoulder into the mid-section. III hip tosses him into a cross armbreaker. Sweeney escapes and tags in Ryder. III trips Ryder and holds onto the arm. Dorado tags in which Ryder is afraid of. He kicks out of a leg lariat then retreats to his corner. Dorado armdrags Taylor into an armbar. They engage in a Lucha exchange ending with Dorado delivering a back handspring elbow. He headscissors Taylor to the floor and fakes a dive. Hero, Ryder, and Sweeney all jump in to attack Dorado. Las Chivas and Equinox clear them out to the floor. II suicide dives onto them. III tope con hilo’s right after. Equinox dropkicks Taylor. He fakes a dive only to be caught by Taylor’s dropkick. Equinox becomes isolated in the Kings of Wrestling corner. Equinox is able to snap off a headscissors on Hero and kick him away so he can tag in Dorado. He throws forearms and dropkicks at all four Kings. He crotches Taylor in the corner. II, III, and Dorado dropkick Taylor as he’s hung up, as do Sweeney and Hero by accident. Dorado dives onto Hero and Sweeney on the floor. II and III give Taylor a double atomic drop. III hits a basement dropkick. Sweeney breaks the pin. Las Chivas attack Sweeney in the corner. II hits him with an enzuigiri. Hero breaks the cover. Hero gives III a Cravate neckbreaker. He catches Dorado’s crossbody a swings him around in a cravate. Hero is displeased that Dorado kicked out. Dorado comes off the top with a twisting crossbody. Ryder makes the save and pitches Dorado to the floor. They fight near the ticket table. Everybody fights near them leaving Equinox and Hero in the ring. Hero taunts his opponent as he picks him up. Equinox drops him with a reverse DDT and locks on the CHIKARA Special. Hero taps out at 22:51! This is easily one of the biggest upsets in CHIKARA history. This was a very fast 22 minutes, everyone looked good, they incorporated both Hero and Ryder’s issue with Dorado, and had a shocking ending to set up future matches. This was a big win in all respects. ***½

Icarus is about to go off on being pinned by Los Ice Creams in Hellertown. Akuma then reminds Icarus that he was also pinned by them in Barnesville. Icarus says that they need to be on the same page tonight in order to retain their tag titles. Akuma agrees. Icarus says that Los Ice Creams may think they have F.I.S.T.’s but they have something way more powerful; heat. Akuma implies Icarus has more heat than him before walking off.

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Campeonatos de Parejas
Icarus {F} & Gran Akuma {F} (Campeones) vs. El Hijo del Ice Cream {IC} & Ice Cream Jr. {IC}

Icarus shoulder blocks Jr. Jr. plays possum and small packages Icarus for two. He rides Icarus’ back and rolls him up again for another two count. He armdrags Icarus out of a double knuckle lock. Hijo and Akuma tag in. Akuma kicks out Hijo’s leg growing tired of his nonsense. Hijo trips him and steps on his back. He drops an elbow when Akuma drops down. Akuma blocks Hijo’s fake out crying kick. Hijo pokes his eyes and kicks the back of his leg. He dropkicks Akuma into the corner. He holds Akuma still so Jr. can dropkick him. Icarus spears Hijo and sentons onto Jr. Hijo uses the ropes to armdrag Icarus to the floor. Akuma atomic drops Hijo which upsets him. Hijo rolls him in a Gedo clutch. They try El Asesino. Icarus rids of Jr. while Akuma German suplexes Hijo. He gives him the Yoshi Tonic for the pin and first fall at 6:12. The beginning of the second fall sees F.I.S.T. wearing Hijo down in their corner. His left leg becomes a target. Hijo rolls under a double back elbow and clotheslines both Icarus and Akuma simultaneously. Jr. comes in throwing chops. Akuma stops the Cold Stone Stunner and delivers a fallaway kick to the face. Icarus stretches him out on the mat. Akuma abdominal stretches Jr. Hijo runs in. Icarus tries a super sunset flip but Hijo rolls through and dropkicks him. Jr. hip tosses out of the abdominal stretch. He rolls up Akuma and Hijo piles on giving Los Ice Creams the second fall at 11:59. Hijo hops off the apron and onto Icarus on the floor. Jr. hits the Jack and Jill Hammer on Akuma for two. He takes the Cold Stone Stunner. Icarus breaks the count. Hijo throws him out. Akuma eats El Asesino and again Icarus makes the save. Icarus reverse suplexes Hijo for two. He calls for the Wings of Icarus. Hijo counters with the Rocky Road (Side Effect) for two. Los Ice Creams sit down on Icarus. This time it’s Akuma who breaks the cover. Jr. eats an enzuigiri/spear combo. Akuma gives him a top rope Frankensteiner. Icarus frog splashes onto him. Hijo breaks it up just in time. Akuma accidentally kicks Icarus. Jr. sends Icarus into Akuma. Icarus then takes a double Cold Stone Stunner. He kicks out at the last possible moment. Icarus stops their Doomsday Asesino. Icarus walks up Hijo to give Jr. a Shiranui. Akuma Spider suplexes Hijo and then dives onto Jr. The Wings of Icarus on Hijo get him the third fall and the match at 16:36. I will be darned if they didn’t have the crowd believing Los Ice Creams had a chance of taking the titles. The dissension between F.I.S.T was incorporated without being overbearing and the action itself was very good. This has to be the best non-comedy Ice Creams match. ***½

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