Philadelphia, PA – 5.27.2007

Commentary is provided by Larry Sweeney, Chris Hero, Bryce Remsburg, Leonard F. Chikarason, UltraMantis Black, Louden Noxious, and Mike Quackenbush.

Retail Dragon vs. Brodie Lee

Lee pie faces Dragon twice. He gives him a bodyslam. Dragon pulls off so unorthodox armdrags. He maneuvers into a headscissors. He then quesadora’s his way into an armdrag to send Lee to the floor. Dragon follows with a Fosbury Flop. He does it on the other side of the ring as well. He misses a dive back in the ring. Lee dropkicks him for two. He tosses Dragon across the ring by his mask. He also delivers a brainbuster. Dragon rolls him up but gets knocked down with a back elbow. Lee drops him with a neckbreaker. He gets two with a pump handle suplex. He keeps Dragon grounded and chokes him with his shin. He misses a corner charge. Dragon comes in from the apron with a neck-tie headscissors. He delivers an enzuigiri after a Frankensteiner. He flips into another Frankensteiner. The Diamond Dust dazes Lee. Lee blocks the Rollback Driver, so Dragon rolls him up for two. Lee boots him in the face. He puts Dragon away with the Running Liger Bomb at 8:19. This should have been Lee destroying Dragon in a fraction of the time. Even Hero and Sweeney were making comments on how they needed to wrap things up. A win is a win but the match could have made its point with half, if not less, of the time. *

UltraMantis Black says CHIKARA has done everything they could to get in the Order’s way. They’ve barred Crossbones from the match, but Mantis says that he and Hydra will defeat the Olsen Twins despite the similarity in their appearance. He promises that the Order will one day dominate.

UltraMantis Black {ONT} & Hydra {ONT} vs. Colin Olsen {OT} & Jimmy Olsen {OT}

I would kill a man to get my hands on a Neo-Solar Temple track jacket. The Olsens attack the Temple before the bell. They then offer handshakes. Of course Mantis and Hydra don’t accept, but they end up being sent out to the floor. Hydra does not appreciate the fans’ accusations of steroids. He and Colin get in a test of strength. Mantis and Jimmy come in to turn this into a game of chicken. Crossbones comes in to try and help but ends up toppling his partners. He shoves the Olsen’s down too. Mantis pitches Jimmy to the floor so they can concentrate on beating Colin down. There plan falls apart when Hydra can’t keep Colin up in a torture rack. Jimmy makes the Killer Bees switch which Bryce Remsburg thinks is absurd. Colin punches Hydra in the stomach. Hydra pretends it doesn’t hurt, but it does. The Olsens gang up on Hydra. They miss an assisted senton. Hydra rolls out. Manti comes in and tries to pin both Olsens to no avail. Colin tries an O’Connor Roll with Jimmy posing in front of him. Mantis reverses it for the win at 8:14. That was entertaining. I miss Hydra a lot. **

Create-A-Wrestler vs. Shayne Hawke

Some back and forth ends with Hawke elbowing Wrestler to the floor. Wrestler comes back in to avoid a baseball slide. Wrestler delivers one for himself. Just like a video game character he comes up empty when going under the ring for an item. So, he sends Hawke into the guardrails. Wrestler allows some of the fans to get in some chops. In the ring he dropkicks and legdrops Hawke. He splashes Hawke after whipping him into the opposite corner. Hawke clotheslines Wrestler into an STO for two. He stops Wrestler in the corner and gives him the Ode to Professionalism. Wrestler blocks a clothesline with a Samoan Drop. He goes for a TKO. Hawke slips up, and rolls up Wrestler while holding the ropes for the pin at 5:46. This was moves then a finish. How nice. ½*

Mitch Ryder is mad because he was booked as a replacement for a “huchadore” who couldn’t make it. He’s outraged that he’s booked with the “double scoop twins” who look frightened. He wants to know what’s going on as Los Ice Creams slowly leave.

Lince Dorado, El Pantera & Player Uno vs. Mitch Ryder {KOW}, El Hijo del Ice Cream {IC} & Ice Cream Jr. {IC}

Pantera headstands in a top wrist lock on Hijo. He stomps on Hijo’s hands out of a double knuckle lock. Hijo tries doing the same, but Pantera just dropkicks him. He does give Pantera an overhand chop in the corner. He throws some clotheslines in the corner. Pantera runs the corners to avoid some splashes, taking down Hijo with a toreador and a rope-assisted armdrag in the process. Dorado and Ryder tag in. Dorado takes all of Ryder’s offense and keeps getting back up. He nails his own spinwheel kick and a Lynxsault for two. Ryder smacks Hijo out of frustration, causing Hijo to bail into the crowd. Jr. and Uno tag in. Jr. pauses Uno to stop his momentum. Dorado sneaks in to unpause him causing Jr. to miss a dropkick. When Uno goes for a monkey flip, Jr. puts him on the top rope and pauses him. Again Dorado unpauses him. Uno comes off the second rope with a tornado clutch and a dropkick. He misses the Goomba Stomp. He gets paused. Los Ice Creams hit him with El Asesino for two. They along with Ryder take turns wearing down Uno. Uno ends up kicking Hijo while giving Jr. a DDT. Dorado tags in. He monkey flips both members of Los Ice Creams. Dorado then crossboyd’s onto Hijo. Jr. tries an elbow drop but misses. Pantera splashes onto both of them. Ryder gives Dorado a right hand. He gets two with a spinebuster on Uno. As they fight on the floor, Jr. brings Pantera to the top rope. Pantera ends up giving Jr. a Frankensteiner for two. He sends Jr. to the floor with a headscissors and follows with a tope suicida. Dorado spikes Hijo with a Frankensteiner. A slingshot twisting splash would have got him the pin, but Dorado picks up his leg and kicks Dorado in the groin. This gives the Lucha team the win by DQ at 14:34. This was a fun match. It was a clever way for Ryder to get embroiled with and anger all of the luchadores, setting up the rest of the year. Dorado and Pantera are a good tandem. **¾

Dragon Yuki {PWK} vs. Kagrra {PWK}

Kagrra’s dropkicks barely budges Yuki. Yuki gives him a slam. Kagrra sends him to the floor with a Frankensteiner. Although Yuki ducks a dive, he gets snapmared onto the floor into a chinlock. He simply releases the hold and both men go back into the ring. Kagrra puts on an armscissors. Yuki gets the ropes. Kagrra snapmares him. He drops two knees onto his chest. Yuki comes back with an armdrag and a backbreaker. He suplexes Kagrra for two. He also gets two with a flip senton. Kagrra reverses a whip and dropkicks Yuki in the corner. Yuki rolls to the floor and Kagrra follows with an Asai moonsault. In the ring he moonsaults off the second rope, then hits a twisting senton from the top rope. Yuki catches him coming off the ropes with an STO. He gets two with a fisherman’s suplex. After a Michinoku Driver he goes for a moonsault. He misses and Kagrra Oklahoma Rolls him. He’s too close to the ropes, so he goes for a crucifix pin mid-ring. Kagrra kicks out. Yuki gives him a short-arm lariat when a backslide doesn’t work out. He slams Kagrra onto his face and chest before delivering a reverse DDT. A frogsplash gets him the win at 7:25. After some weirdness in the opening they got their stuff together. Everything Yuki does looks pretty sloppy but that’s what you get from a fat guy in baggy pants. **

Dusto Bunny {KBB} & Gii The Space Pirate {KBB} vs. Dr. Cube {KBB} & Call-Me-Kevin {KBB}

Louden Noxious is the special guest ring announcer and commentator for this bout. There are miniature buildings set up in the ring. Cube destructs some building before locking up with Bunny. Bunny throws Cube down. He then throws both Cube and Kevin down. Cube bribes Gii to join their side. Bunny shoves all three of them down. Cube destroys another building in rage and sends Gii to the floor. Cube pokes Bunny in the eyes and takes him down in a wristlock. He snapmares Bunny and does some damage to his face. Cube walks the ropes Hakushi style but slips and lands on his stomach. Gii comes off the top with a double axe handle. He hits Cube with his claw in the mid-section. Kevin comes in when Cube goes to the floor. He delivers a dropkick to Gii. He suplexes Gii onto a building. Cube blind tags in. He holds Gii for one of Kevin’s double axe handles. Cube delivers one himself. He also gives Gii a side Russian leg sweep and a bulldog. Gii knocks him down with his claw and tags Bunny back in. He throws punches at Cube and Kevin. He punches Cube’s head off! Kevin gets double suplexed. Cube clotheslines both his opponents. He takes Bunny down with a tilt-a-whirl facebuster. Kevin accidentally clotheslines Cube! They get into an argument. Kevin backfists Cube and moonsaults onto him. He bails on Cube, Leaving Gii to give him an Angle slam. Bunny puts Cube away with the Bunny Shot at 9:51. These guys aren’t the best wrestlers or anything, but they certainly seemed to have the crowd enjoying their antics from bell to bell. *

Max Boyer {KOW} vs. Pelle Primeau {ROH}

Both guys flip each other around in a double knuckle lock. They get into a pin exchange. Primeau sends Boyer to the apron. Boyer tries to skin the cat but gets dropkicked to the floor. Primeau follows with a splash but Boyer catches him and sends him into the ring apron. He then throws Primeau’s leg into the guardrails. Boyer works over the leg back in the ring. Primeau jumps onto Boyer’s shoulders. Boyer chop blocks his leg out. Primeau uses his good leg for an enzuigiri. A botched headscissors turns into a cradle. He successfully pulls off the headscissors on his second try. He comes in with a springboard Thesz Press, then a double stomp. Boyer blocks a victory roll. He gives Primeau a belly-to-back suplex. The Lifestyle should get him the win, but Boyer instead puts on a half crab. Primeau taps out at 6:27. That was a solid win for Boyer before having to surrender the YLC and to establish himself as a member of the KOW. *½

Worker Ant says that The Colony have been on a roll in 2007. He claims tonight’s trios match may be the biggest one of their careers since they face the 2007 King of Trios winners. He calls the Colony the real King of Trios.

Mike Quackenbush, Shane Storm & Equinox vs. Fire Ant {C}, Soldier Ant {C} & Worker Ant {C}

Equinox is filling in for Jigsaw. He exchanges wristlocks with Soldier Ant. Soldier Ant salutes Equinox after escaping some positions. They reach a stalemate after trying various pinning predicaments. Soldier Ant sends Equinox out with a headscissors. He follows with a saluting suicide dive. Storm and Fire Ant trade forearms. They each utilize some armdrags. Storm scouts some of Fire Ant’s moves but is sent out with a dropkick anyways. Fire Ant tope con hilo’s after him. Quackenbush and Worker Ant exchange holds. Quackenbush puts him in the Cerebral Lock. A Lucha exchange leads to Worker Ant delivering a sit-out hip toss. Quackenbush catches him with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Worker Ant headscissors him out of the corner. Equinox tries his own headscissors. The Colony ends up catching him and attempting the Ant Hill. Quackenbush powerbombs Fire Ant to stop him. Storm clears the ring of Soldier and Worker so Quackenbush can wear down Fire Ant. After being attacked in the corner, Fire Ant slips to the floor. Soldier Ant comes in but Storm beats him down immediately. Just like his partner, he goes to the floor after being bullied in the corner. Worker Ant succumbs to the same fate of being worn down by all three of his opponents. Worker Ant tumbles to the floor with Equinox when Equinox tries an O’Conner Roll. Fire Ant comes off the second rope with a dropkick to Storm. He gives Equinox a modified Burning Hammer. Storm gives him the Air Raid Crash for two. Fire Ant slides out. Worker Ant flubs a tornado DDT. Quackenbush gives him a reverse brainbuster for two. Soldier Ant avoids a palm strike. He drops Quackenbush with a TKO. Equinox breaks the pin. Equinox hits a flying burrito a standing moonsault. Fire Ant and Worker Ant put him down with the Ants Marching neckbreaker. The Ant Hill is successful but Storm breaks the pin. Fire Ant gives Storm a flying blockbuster. Soldier Ant flies in with a diving headbutt. Quackenbush breaks the pin and pitches Worker and Soldier Ant out. Equinox moonsaults onto them both. Quackenbush brings Fire Ant down with a super Tiger Driver. The Alligator Clutch gets him the pin at 12:53. That was some really fun wrestling. You can see just how much The Colony is growing, and putting them against the likes of Quackenbush and Storm will only elevate them, even in a loss. It’s a shame Jigsaw wasn’t here but Equinox was an acceptable replacement. ***

Hallowicked {I} & Delirious {I} vs. Eddie Kingston {BO} & Ruckus {BO}

BLK Out jump Incoherence from behind. Incoherence come back with hip tosses, armdrags, and clotheslines. Hallowicked chases Kingston around the ring. Delirious scares Ruckus back in the ring. He and Kingston get distracted, allowing Hallowicked to dropkick them into simultaneous clotheslines from Delirious. Delirious puts Ruckus on his shoulders. He tosses him into Hallowicked’s Go 2 Sleepy Hollow for two. Hallowicked rolls him up for another two count. He boots Kingston on the apron. Ruckus catches him with a tornado kick. Kingston chokes Hallowicked while mocking Delirious’ speech. He and Ruckus isolate Hallowicked until. Hallowicked gives Ruckus a step-up Frankensteiner. Delirious tags in throwing elbows to Kingston and clotheslines to Ruckus. He dropkicks Kingston to the corner. Ruckus misses an elbow, crashing into Kingston. Delirious hits them both with the Panic Attack. He missile dropkicks Ruckus to the floor. He gives Kingston the Bizarro Driver but Ruckus breaks the pin. Ruckus gives him the Bank Roll. Hallowicked makes the save. Kingston gives him elbows to the head. Hallowicked drops him with the Rydeen Bomb. Ruckus stomps him to stop the pin. Hallowicked kicks him into Delirious’ Shadows Over Heck. He then puts on the Cobra Stretch. Kingston grabs his hand so he won’t tap out. Hallowicked pulls him to the floor. Ruckus submits at 11:35. That was a nice way to have Hallowicked and Kingston in a match without them touching very often and to keep the feud going. Ruckus and Delirious really added to the bout and held up their end of the bargain. ***

Kingston comes back in to give Delirious a Saito suplex. He and Ruckus bail before Hallowicked comes in. Hallowicked helps his partner get to his feet.

Chris Hero, Claudio Castagnoli, and Larry Sweeney are together. Claudio is standing silently in the back. Hero and Sweeney bring in Mitch Ryder who they had join the Kings of Wrestling last night. Ryder mentions how proud he is to join the group and tells Claudio to lighten up. Hero’s mad that F.I.S.T. scooped in to recruit Max Boyer after he did all the leg work. He says they’re Kings of Wrestling by name only while they’re Kings by lifestyle. Sweeney says after tonight, there will be no question who the real Kings of Wrestling are. Claudio is forced to put his hand into the team huddle.

Chris Hero {KOW}, Claudio Castagnoli {KOW} & Larry Sweeney {KOW} vs. Icarus {F}, Gran Akuma {F} & Chuck Taylor {KOW}

Mitch Ryder is in Team Hero’s corner and Max Boyer is in Team Icarus’ corner. Taylor and Sweeney position for control. Taylor gets on a side headlock and tags in Icarus. He puts Sweeney in a front facelock. Sweeney shoves Icarus to the corner. Hero tags in and boots Icarus in the face. He throws Icarus off his shoulders and headstands into a senton. He slams him into another senton. Claudio tags in. Icarus takes him down in a waistlock. He pulls Claudio over so Akuma can tag in. Claudio puts on a half crab. Akuma kicks his way out of a figure seven. Claudio blasts him with an uppercut. He suplexes Akuma for a two count. Akuma puts on an armbar and tags in Taylor. Claudio is able to slip out, bringing Hero in. He drops an elbow on Taylor’s back. He boots him down in the corner leading to Hero’s Kings teaming up against the Rey de Voladores tournament winner. During that time Claudio would go into business for himself at times. Taylor drop toe holds Claudio onto the second rope and Icarus and Akuma dropkick him in either side of the head. Now it’s Icarus’ Kings’ turn to isolate an opponent. Akuma does some damage to his left leg. Claudio catches Icarus with an uppercut on the top rope. Claudio brings him down with a superplex. Instead of tagging out, he decides to throw uppercuts to Icarus. He throws Icarus and Akuma together, dropping them both with a double bulldog afterwards. He uppercuts Taylor. Hero tags himself in and boots Taylor for two. Sweeney gives him a punch. Taylor hits him with Sole Food. Akuma and Icarus attack him in the corner. Claudio comes back in but gets taken down with a Frankensteiner from Icarus. Sweeney drops him with an Uncle Slam. Akuma gives Sweeney a fallaway kick. Hero gives Akuma a capture Saito suplex. Taylor overhead suplexes Hero. Claudio nails Taylor with Swiss Chin Music. He drops Icarus with the Alpamare Water Slide. He tosses Akuma onto both of them with the Match Killer. Taylor gives him a jawbreaker and a tornado DDT. Hero suplexes him out of a cravate. He boots Akuma into a chokeslam. He goes for Hero’s Welcome. Akuma blocks it with a snapmare driver. Hero kicks out. Hero releases Akuma out of a suplex. Sweeney follows with the 12 Large Elbow. Icarus breaks the pin. He drops Sweeney with the Shiranui. Claudio breaks the cover. He calls for the Ricola Bomb. Icarus fights out. Claudio fights off the Wings of Icarus and pulls off the Ricola Bomb. Akuma breaks the cover. He cascades up into a Yoshi Tonic. Unlike the time they won the tag belts, this doesn’t work. Icarus gives him another Shiranui. Akuma does the deal with the Falcon Arrow. As Icarus sets him up, Hero sneaks in to hit the Hero’s Welcome. Taylor dropkicks Hero to the floor and hip tosses Claudio onto him. Taylor gives Sweeney the Awful Waffle! Akuma follows up with a 450 splash for the pin at 18:12. This was a great blend of story and action. Ever since F.I.S.T beat Hero/Claudio for the tag belts they have been extremely successful while Hero and his crew have been floundering. This was the point in which it was made abundantly clear that Hero needed them by their side. Claudio played his role to perfection since he wanted nothing to do with everybody in the match. This was a really good way to end CHIKARA’s fifth birthday. ***½

Despite the win, Hero proclaims on the microphone that his crew is still the Kings of Wrestling. Before the groups come to blows Mitch Ryder grabs the microphone. He says that they’re playing into the fans hands because they don’t want to see both groups come together. Ryder says they can agree that they’re the best talent in CHIKARA but doesn’t know why they won’t come together and to rule the company. Ryder says everyone’s too caught up in their own business to see the biggest picture. They are all united by their hatred for the fans and the people in the back. Hero and Icarus stare each other down. Ryder convinces both groups to join forces into one mega sized Kings of Wrestling stable. CHIKARA is in trouble.


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