Best Imitation of Myself


Reading, PA – 3.23.2007

Commentary is provided by Mike Quackenbush, Bryce Remsburg, UltraMantis Black, Chris Hero, and Leonard F. Chikarason.

Hydra comes out for his match with UltraMantis Black. He is wearing a robe and has box of issues. Apparently he has come down with a severe case of the oceanic flu. Mantis presents a doctor’s note to referee Matt Dillon on a napkin. He’s too sick to compete in a match, but will allow Create-A-Wrestler to compete in the Hydralock Challenge. Create-A-Wrestler, Hydra’s scheduled opponent for the evening, accepts the challenge. Mantis sneaks in and takes Hydra’s place, applying the Hydralock himself. Hydra boots Create-A-Wrestler into a half-nelson suplex. This leads to Mantis substituting for Hydra in a match.

Create-A-Wrestler vs. UltraMantis Black {ONT}

Mantis chokes Wrestler in the corner. He dropkicks him twice in a tree of woe. Wrestler whips him into opposite corners. He hits a twisting neckbreaker after a dropkick. Mantis slips out of the Death Valley Driver. He hits the Cosmic Doom for two. This was in that move’s infancy, so it wasn’t a big deal and had no name. Hydra grabs Wrestler’s foot and snaps his neck on the top rope. Mantis hits the Praying Mantis Bomb for the pin at 2:14. Aside from seeing the Cosmic Doom, this was really nothing. Still the best Wrestler had looked out of his three matches to this point. ½*

Leonard F. Chikarason says Hydra looks fine for someone who is supposedly sick. He suspends Hydra and Mantis for one night (tomorrow). Mantis and Hydra embrace their vacation opportunity.

Billy Roc is making his CHIKARA debut tonight. He hopes he and Fire Ant have a great one-on-one encounter tonight, and that may the best man win. He sure is one nice chap.

Fire Ant {C} vs. Billy Roc

Worker Ant is in Fire Ant’s corner. Each guy cleanly breaks a lock-up in the corner. Roc rolls Fire Ant and mule kicks him out of a headstand. Fire Ant toreador’s him but Roc pops out of the fireman’s carry. He puts on an Octopus Stretch. Roc breaks out of the headscissors and snaps off a trifecta of different armdrags. Fire Ant comes back with the Stop, Drop and Roll. He cannonball sentons Roc’s back in the corner. Roc blocks a crossbody with a gut buster. He gets two with a Gourd Buster. Roc locks both his arms in a grounded Octopus. Fire Ant breaks the hold. Roc snapmares him into a slingshot dropkick. A twisting slingshot crossbody gets him two. Fire Ant throws Roc off the top rope with a fireman’s carry. He puts on a headscissors in the ropes. He sends Roc to the floor with a grounded lariat. Fire Ant goes for a tope con hilo. Roc moves, causing him to land on Worker Ant. Roc checks on Worker before bringing Fire Ant back into the ring. Roc blocks Fire Ant’s O’Conner roll with a Gedo Clutch for two. Fire Ant avoids a stomp to the back of the head. He drops Roc with the Burning Hammer for the win at 7:28. I was impressed by how well these guys worked together. They both have that great blend of technical wrestling and agility that made for fun watch. I can see why Roc is well revered by many. **3/4

Hallowicked {I} vs. Chris Hero {KOW}

Hallowicked ends a wristlock exchange with a shoulder block. He rolls up Hero out of a leap frog for two. He tries the school boy a couple more times and gets stomped in the face. Hallowicked stomps Hero in the buttocks during a would have been Lucha sequence. He does some more damage to Hero’s buttocks before giving him a pair of armdrags. Hero straight up drops Hallowicked to the floor. He throws a headbutt before bringing Hallowicked back in the ring. He chokes him with his boot. Hero rolls through a super snapmare and boots Hallowicked in the face. He throws Hallowicked out of a headlock and gives him a senton for two. A strike exchange ends with another headbutt from Hero. Hallowicked escapes a courting hold with an armdrag off the ropes. He avoids Hero’s boot and hits an enzuigiri. Hero rolls to the floor after taking a back drop. Hallowicked suicide dives over the top rope and onto him. Hallowicked gets two with a Rydeen Bomb. He tries the Go 2 Sleepy Hollow. Hero grabs his stem to block. He gives him a gut-wrench Falcon Arrow for two. Hero chops him in the corner. Hallowicked gives him a step-up Frankensteiner. Hero rolls it into a sunset flip for two. Hallowicked rolls him up again. Hero kicks out and tosses him to the floor. He hits another headbutt on top of some other strikes. Hallowicked avoids a Manhattan drop and yakuza kicks him. Hero avoids being thrown into the stage by jumping off it, rolling up, and delivering a yakuza kick of his own. He gets a two count back in the ring. He puts on a cravat. Hallowicked slips out and hits Go 2 Sleepy Hollow. Another Frankensteiner gets him a two count. Hero catches him a rolling elbow. A cravat suplex and a standing moonsault get him the win at 15:01. This was a lot like his match with Shane Storm; Hero was very competitive with a CHIKARA stalwart, and although the CHIKARA guy came close, Hero bested them in the end. It was a lot of fun and they managed to get the small Reading crowd into it. ***1/4

Claudio Castagnoli runs out after the match. Hero bails and gets met by his other enemy Mike Quackenbush in the aisle. Hero has to leave through the back door of the building. Claudio calls him a coward and says he will get on his hands on him eventually. Quackenbush tells Claudio that everyone is happy that he’s back, but says it’s been over two years since he has had a singles match with Hero. He’s not saying Claudio’s beef isn’t valid, but he should be next in line to fight Hero given how much time he has waited. Hero says that Quackenbush and Claudio are wrestling tomorrow night for a spot in the King of Europe Cup, but he’s in the tournament already so there’s no chance they are going to win. He proposes that the winner of the match tomorrow not only gets into that tournament, but also gets a singles match with Hero. The stipulation is agreed upon by both parties, who shove each other but leave before it goes any further.

2.0 (Jagged and Shane Matthews) are standing by. Matthews says they were asked to cut a promo, but they have nothing to say. Jagged mentions that they are speechless due to them being heartbroken. They had three points during the Tag Gauntlet during King of Trios weekend but ended up losing them. Matthews says they won’t be screwed again, and that the BLK Out will feel the flow of 2.0.

Sabian {BO} & Joker {BO} vs. Jagged {2.0} & Shane Matthews {2.0}

They each go for a waistlock and can’t get it. Matthews and Joker remain stead fast at each other’s shoulder blocks. Joker knocks Matthews down. Sabian slingshots Jagged into the ring. Sabian blocks his offense and dropkicks him to the floor. He tope con hilo’s onto 2.0. Sabian locks up Jagged’s knee back in the ring. He pokes him in the eyes to escape. Jagged is too weak to Irish whip Joker. Joker throws him off of his shoulders. Sabian hits a slingshot senton. BLK Out continues to beat down Jagged until he drops Joker off his shoulder in a reverse Samoan Drop. He clotheslines Joker into an STO before tagging in Matthews. They get in some tandem offense behind Matt Dillon’s back. Joker ends up dropping Matthews stomach first on the rope and uppercutting him to the floor, but Jagged is quick to run in and throws Joker head first to the canvas. Joker takes out both of 2.0 with suplexes and tags in Sabian. He drops Jagged with a Complete Shot. Joker back elbows Matthews in the corner and Sabian gives him a delayed dropkick. Joker follows with a cannonball senton. Jagged sends him to the floor. 2.0 drop Sabian into a double leg-capture DDT. Joker breaks the cover. Jagged accidentally forearms his partner. Joker gives him an atomic drop and Sabian lariats him. BLK Out hits the King’s Swing. Matthews throws Joker out. When Sabian goes after him, Jagged rolls up Sabian and grabs his tights for the pin at 11:01. I was really surprised at how well these teams worked together. Kingston aside, Joker is the best member of BLK Out and really got an opportunity to show off. 2.0 really didn’t do much of anything in their primitive days, but were still entertaining. **3/4

Shane Hawke is ready to make a mark tonight. He shows us his near empty passport and hopes that by proving himself in CHIKARA that he can become a world class traveler. He plans to use his opponent, Ricochet, as a stepping stone to getting more stamps on his passport.

Ricochet vs. Shayne Hawke

Hawke’s attempt at singing the Canadian National anthem does not go over. Hawke thinks Ricochet’s wristlocks are too intense. He pokes Ricochet in the eyes and delivers a chop. Ricochet side steps a running double axe handle. They criss cross the ropes until Hawke tires himself out and falls down. Ricochet snapmares him into a two count. Hawke cartwheels over Ricochet and delivers a basement clothesline. He stomps on his chest in the corner. Ricochet responds with an arm-capture DDT and a standing moonsault. Hawke catches him in the corner with the Tribute to Professionalism for two. Ricochet ducks a clothesline and delivers the Backslide Driver. He gets two with a tornado DDT. Hawke gets two with an Ace Crusher. He goes for the Tomahawke. Ricochet rolls away and nails a tornado kick. A second rope moonsault and a standing shooting star press get Ricochet the win at 7:20. Mostly just back and forth moves, but solid while it lasted. **1/4

Leonard F. Chikarason congratules both men. He tells Ricochet that they are having the first ever Rey de Voladores tournament next month in Philadelphia and invites Ricochet to participate. He accepts the invitation.

Chuck Taylor is looking very white trash as he talks about how he feels like Leonardo DiCaprio in Titanic now that he is in the Kings of Wrestling. He’s excited to yell at children and punch grannies tonight. He says all the Kings are going to dominate tonight. In the building, Leonard F. Chikarason tells Chuck Taylor that Worker Ant is hurt and can’t compete tonight. Ruckus will be taking his place. Taylor is not happy with this development.

Ruckus {BO} vs. Chuck Taylor {KOW}

Taylor pounds on Ruckus’ upper back. He chokes him against the ropes. Ruckus ducks a clothesline. He backflips into a headscissors takedown. An armdrag and dropkick send Taylor to the floor. Ruckus chases him back into the ring where Taylor is able to do more damage to his neck. Ruckus hits a back handspring spin kick. Taylor blocks the Razzle Dazzle with a belly-to-back suplex. He bites on Ruckus’ neck before pinning him for two. He makes a big deal out of a chinlock. Ruckus pulls on his hair and elbows him in the stomach. Taylor nails a perfect dropkick for two. He chokes Ruckus on the middle rope. Taylor thinks about going to the top rope, but jumps off and hits a splash from the canvas instead. Ruckus catches Taylor with a flip kick out of the corner. He hits the Razzle Dazzle and a rolling Rocker Dropper for two. Taylor hits him with Sole Food. Ruckus forearms him to the corner. Taylor catches him with an overhead suplex into the other corner for two. As Taylor picks him up, Ruckus hits the Bank Roll for two. He tries a few more pinning combinations to no avail. Ruckus rolls through the Awful Waffle when the bell rings. Apparently the 10:00 time limit expired. I had 8:18, so someone’s time keeping skills need some work. The action was good up until the abrupt finish. I’m happy to see Taylor in a defined roll and he worked really well with Ruckus. **3/4

Taylor teases re-starting the match with 60 seconds. When Ruckus suggests 65 he leaves in a huff.

Young Lions Cup
Max Boyer (Champion) vs. Soldier Ant {C}

Boyer does not have the cup with him. Soldier Ant kicks him away to avoid his ankle being picked. He hip tosses Boyer, ducks a few clotheslines, and sends him out with a saluting headscissors. Soldier Ant suicide dives after him, also while saluting. Boyer drives his back and his head into the ring post. Back in the ring he gets two with a suplex. He goes for another suplex. Soldier Ant reverses it. He catches Boyer in the corner on his shoulders. Boyer escapes and drops Soldier Ant face first on the top turnbuckle. He puts his feet on the ropes while pinning him and gets caught. Soldier Ant gives him an open hand slap, causing Boyer to crumple to the mat. Boyer fires up with a boot to the mid-section and a hard right hand. Soldier Ant splashes him twice in the corner. Boyer ducks a clothesline and gives Soldier Ant a German suplex. Chris Hero is watching the match from the aisle. Soldier Ant cradles Boyer to block the Lifestyle. He delivers a German suplex. Soldier Ant follows up with a saluting headbutt in the corner for two. Boyer comes back with the Lifestyle for the pin at 7:52. I don’t know why Boyer’s defenses have all been short, but I don’t like it. He and Soldier Ant packed in a lot of action but never really got a chance to build to anything. No wonder why Boyer is the “lost” YLC Champion; none of his matches are memorable whatsoever even if they are technically sound. **1/2

Lince Dorado & Sicodelico Jr. vs. El Hijo del Ice Cream {IC} & Ice Cream Jr. {IC}

Dorado brings Hijo to the mat in a wristlock. Hijo puts on a half crab. Dorado armdrags him across the ring and to the floor. Sicodelico messes with Jr’s cone. He then grabs Hijo’s cone. Sicodelico holds onto Jr’s arm and rolls him into a waistlock pin for two. Hijo whispers Jr. some advice. Sicodelico wins a test of strength and stomps on his hands. Hijo chops Dorado. Dorado quesadora’s into an armdrag. He places Hijo through the middle ropes and pushes him to the floor. Dorado wins a Lucha exchange with an armdrag. Hijo delivers some strikes to Sicodelico’s back. Los Ice Creams put on stereo European wristlocks. Sicodelico backflips into double Japanese armdrags. He baits Hijo into giving Jr a clothesline. He then drop toe holds Jr into Hijo’s groin. Dorado does some damage of his own, also baiting the Ice Creams into hurting one another. Jr assists Hijo with El Asesino to turn the tide of the match in their favor. Los Ice Creams wear down Dorado until he impressively huracanrana’s them at the same time. Sicodelico cleans house. He and Dorado double hip toss Hijo. Sicodelico slams Dorado onto him and Jr breaks the cover. Sicodelico kicks him in the head and delivers a spinebuster. Dorado hits the Lynxsault for two. Hijo punches Sicodelico to the corner. Jr helps him give Dorado the Cold Stone Stunner. Jr Oklahoma rolls Sicodelico for two. Dorado gets his boot up to block Hijo’s corner attack. He kicks him in the side of the head. Sicodelico sends Dorado to the apron and slams Hijo. Dorado comes off of Sicodelico’s shoulders with a skyscraper 450 splash. Sicodelico superkicks Jr to the floor. Hijo stops Dorado from diving. Dorado spikes him on his head with a huracanrana for the pin at 19:11. That went way too long and took a long time to get interesting. The finishing stretch was really cool but I had a tough time concentrating in the early going. **3/4

Claudio Castagnoli vs. Eddie Kingston {BO}

I am really excited for this. Two intense lock-ups are broken in the corner. Kingston reverses into a headscissors which Claudio quickly escapes from. Kingston ducks an uppercut while Claudio avoids the Backfist. Claudio goes after Kingston’s leg which just recovered from an ankle injury. Kingston shoves Claudio away, causing Claudio to smack him in the face. Kingston suplexes him across the ring, then gets two with a Northern Lights suplex. He slaps Claudio in the corner. Claudio hits him with Swiss Chin Music. After some more strikes he gets two with a fisherman’s suplex. He uppercuts Kingston in the neck for a one count. He tries going for the leg again. Kingston shoves him away. Claudio lifts him into a gutwrench suplex. Both men daze each other with a hard strike exchange. Kingston gets in a yakuza kick and a uranage suplex for two. Claudio blocks another yakuza kick. He delivers a diving uppercut off the second rope. He German suplexes him for two. He rocks Kingston with some uppercuts. Kingston delivers a Backfist, causing Claudio to throw more uppercuts. Kingston lariats him for two. He sets up for a suplex. Claudio slips out and brings Kingston to the mat. He twists up Kingston’s ankle, causing him to tap out right away at 8:19. That was intense. Both men laid it into each other and put up a hard fought battle. I love that Claudio was able to finally get the ankle and got Kingston to submit right away. I’m glad we would see a series of matches between these two a couple of years later. ***1/4

Icarus and Gran Akuma are backstage. Icarus says they have licked their wounds from losing King of Trios and now are defending their titles for the first time against their rivals Jigsaw and Shane Storm. Tonight is for a lot more than a mask, hair, and a Young Lions Cup. Tonight they destroy Jigsaw and Shane Storm, then Cheech and Cloudy next month.


Campeonatos de Parejas
Icarus {F} & Gran Akuma {F} (Campeones) vs. Jigsaw & Shane Storm

Icarus jumps Jigsaw from behind. Jigsaw gets in some forearms and a boot in the corner. He hits a leg lariat and a knee strike. The fight for a backslide. When that goes nowhere, Jigsaw tries for the Wings of Icarus. Icarus resists. Jigsaw small packages Icarus for the pin and the first fall at 0:47! Icarus spears Jigsaw. He gives him a release Wings of Icarus on the floor! Akuma attacks Storm when he goes to check on his partner. Storm delivers two dropkicks and a senton for two. Akuma gives him a fall away kick. F.I.S.T. are left to pick apart Storm while Jigsaw recovers. In the midst of it, Akuma hits a sweet crucifix driver on Storm to pick up the second fall at 6:25. Jigsaw at this point is still down. He makes it to the apron just as Storm shoves Icarus into Akuma’s arm. He gives Akuma a neckbreaker, causing Akuma to DDT Icarus. Jigsaw is still dazed as he tags in. He boots Icarus in the back of the head. He superkicks Akuma. Icarus tries a kick but gets spun out into a Blue Thunder Driver instead. Icarus boots him. He tries a tornado DDT but ends up kicking Akuma and tumbling to the outside with Jigsaw. Storm hits Akuma with That Japanese Move for two. Jigsaw goes for the Leap of Faith. Icarus catches him in mid-air with the Rickrack. Akuma jumps onto Storm to stop him from breaking the pin. Icarus pins Jigsaw for the third and final fall at 9:46. I cannot believe how short this match was. It was a vicious defense to showcase just how dangerous F.I.S.T. can be and that they’re Campeones to be reckoned with. I also love how when Jigsaw got the pin so early on that Icarus made sure to take him out as fast as possible. This was a successful, albeit short, first defense. ***


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