Sand In The Vaseline

Reading, PA – 4.21.2006

Commentary is provided by Mike Quackenbush, UltraMantis Black, Eddie Kingston and Leonard F. Chikarason.

Andy Sumner {CZW} vs. Gran Akuma {F}

Akuma and Sumner look for control on the mat. Sumner goes for a guillotine. Akuma breaks and forces Sumner to the ropes. They each carefully throw some strikes. Akuma takes Sumner to the mat in a headlock. Sumner goes to the ropes when Akuma goes for the Fujiwara armbar. Sumner goes for a triangle choke. Akuma fights his way out and kicks Sumner in the head. Sumner gets counted on the mat for the count of 10, giving Akuma the victory at 2:23. That was excellent for the time they had. I really have enjoyed all the mat exhibitions Gulak and Sumner have displayed in NEXT and occasionally in CHIKARA. Whatever happened to Sumner? *

Larry Sweeney is backstage with Mana. He reminds us that last month in Reading he lost his ICW/ICWA Tex-Arkana Championship. He still blames Mana for it. He tells Mana that they aren’t flying Milano back for him to get his title, he will have to settle for going after Los Campeonatos de Parejas. He fires up Mana who is his partner on this quest.

Lance Steel & Lance Steel vs. Larry Sweeney & Mana

Sweeney puts on a top wristlock. Steel switches it into a hammerlock. Sweeney switches that into a waistlock. Steel snapmares Sweeney into a chinlock. Sweeney brings Steel to the corner. He shoulder blocks Steel instead of backing off. Steel whips Sweeney to the opposite corners multiple times. Steel tags in and does the same thing. Lancelot joust Sweeney in the corner. Mana tags in as the Steel’s celebrate. They joust Mana which has no effect. He instead clotheslines both Steel’s. Sweeney insists Mana tag him in. He foolishly chops Steel’s chest plate. Mana chops Steel’s chest plate and it actually succeeds. Sweeney tags in. Steel trips him. Sweeney gets volleyed between the two Steel’s as they continuously throw punches. Sweeney picks up Steel so Mana can punch him from the apron. Sweeney gives Steel a spinebuster. Mana and Sweeney team up on Steel. Sweeney misses a second rope elbow. The other Steel comes in and throws strikes at both of his opponents. He even kicks Steel off the apron for some reason. Mana tosses Steel to the floor. The other slingshots Sweeney into Mana. He rolls up Sweeney for the pin at 9:00. That was quite strange with Steel kicking the other one randomly. Guess we will have to see what that’s about. What we basically saw is a tag match between two teams who both can’t seem to get along. This was fun, but not particularly memorable. **1/4

Larry Sweeney yells at Mana and blames him for the loss. He gives Mana a slap saying Mana keeps screwing up no matter how well he pays him. Mana slaps Sweeney back and gives him a Samoan Drop. He heads to the back while Sweeney recovers. Sweeney stomps to the back quite angrily.

Prince Raymond Torres of Brunei Rules
Player Uno vs. Dr. Cheung {PT}

Player Uno comes out to “Kung Fu Fighting”. Probably not the wisest idea since that was Reckless Youth’s music and is most certainly associated with him. So what about these rules? Well, they mean that the match has a five minute time limit and the match ends with a two count. Why these rules are in place I have no idea. Uno and Cheung each go for quick pins to start. Cheung side steps a corner attack. He hits a Cenaesque hip toss. The FU follows. Uno enzuigiri’s Cheung as Cheung sets up for the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Uno hits the M. Bison Stomp. Cheung blocks a boot and pauses Uno with the NES controller on the side of his tights. He unpauses it, confusing Uno. Cheung hits the Doctor Bomb for the pin at 1:59. That was just plain silly in a good way. ½*

Daizee Haze reminds us that she beat Allison Danger the first time she was in CHIKARA, but lost the second time to her. She doesn’t think Danger can handle her and claims that she is the real “Danger” in their upcoming match.

Allison Danger vs. Daizee Haze

Haze attacks Danger as she poses on the second rope. Haze throws a flurry of punches on the mat. Haze kicks Danger a few times before bringing her up. Danger counters a suplex with a small package for two. Danger rolls Haze into a clutch for two. She also gets two with a schoolgirl roll-up. Danger spears Haze in the corner. Haze side-steps a second attempt, sending Danger to the floor. Haze punches Danger in her hurt shoulder. Haze shoves her shoulder into the wall. Haze brings Danger into the ring whilst holding onto a hammerlock. Haze arm whips Danger. She scissors Danger’s leg and pushes her upper body to add more stress. Haze whips Danger across the ring by her arm. Danger forearms Haze to counter another whip across the ring. She drops Haze face first into her knee. Danger throws strikes furiously at Haze. Referee Bryce Remsburg pulls her out of the corner. Haze kicks her in the side of the head for the pin at 6:30. This all seemed like a set up to something bigger down the road. If nothing else it succeeded at garnering interest for what comes next. **

Fire Ant {C}, Soldier Ant {C} & Retail Dragon vs. Cheech, Cloudy & Rorschach

Soldier Ant and Cheech look for control. Soldier Ant gets the ropes to break a seated octopus stretch. Cheech locks Soldier Ant in a Kondo Clutch. Soldier Ant rolls out of it for two. Cheech dropkicks him to the floor and fakes a dive. Fire Ant comes in and gives him two fireman’s carry’s. Fire Ant dropkicks Cheech out. Cloudy cuts off his dive attempt with a boot. Cheech catches Fire Ant with a slingshot spear. Dragon comes in. He and Cloudy armdrag one another. Dragon hip tosses Cloudy and kicks him on the way down. Rorschach tags in. Dragon uses some Lucha and a dropkick to send him out. Dragon Fosbury Flops onto Rorschach. The Colony fight it out with Cheech and Cloudy in the ring. The Colony dropkick them to the floor and stereo dive onto them. Rorschach knees Dragon in the gut. Cheech and Cloudy attempt to double team him. Dragon fights them off with ease. He tags in Fire Ant who gets hit in the gut by Cheech right away. Cheech kicks out his legs, Cloudy hits a reverse low blockbuster, and Cheech dropkicks him in the face for two. The Rudos team uses some clever tandem offense and frequent tags to keep Fire Ant trapped in the ring. Fire Ant catches Cloudy on his shoulders and airplane spins him to knock Cheech and Rorschach down. He slams Cloudy onto Cheech and tags in Dragon. He sends all three opponents to one corner. Cloudy hip tosses Dragon onto Rorschach’s shoulders. Cheech blockbusters Retail Dragon off of Rorschach’s shoulders onto Cloudy’s knees. Cheech also lands in a senton position onto Soldier Ant. Fire Ant breaks Cheech’s pin on Soldier Ant. Rorschach gives Fire Ant a wrist-clutch Death Valley Driver for two. Soldier Ant eats Partly Cloudy with a chance of Cheech. Dragon Tornado Kicks Cloudy off the apron after Soldier Ant kicks out. Dragon gives Cheech a Canadian Destroyer. He follows with a shooting star press for the pin at 12:16. There was a lot of great action in this match from both teams. Cheech and Cloudy have managed to steal the show on this show and the last which is quite impressive. ***

2.0. are hanging out behind a random block of houses. Jagged says he and Matthews used to hold steel cage matches in their backyards when they were kids in their poor living conditions. Jagged figured they and BLK Out could share that in common, but instead they have been a thorn in their side. Matthews claims that they will feel the flow of 2.0., right before throwing Jagged into the chain link fence.

Eddie Kingston {BO} & Sabian {BO} vs. Jagged {2.0} & Shane Matthews {2.0}

Sabian and Jagged trade holds to start. Jagged steps through the ropes to tie up Sabian’s arm. He kicks the ropes, so Sabian angrily puts on a Venus Clutch. Matthews kicks Sabian to break it. Jagged asks for Kingston to tag in. Kingston immediately clotheslines him in the stomach. Kingston gives him a release suplex. Matthews forearms Kingston from behind. Jagged chop blocks Kingston’s leg and tags in Matthews. Kingston belly-to-belly suplexes him. Sabian tags in. Kingston powerbombs Sabian onto Matthews for two. Sabian Dragon kicks him for two. Sabian blocks 2.0.’s attempt at a knee strike from the apron. Matthews does however give Sabian a backbreaker. Jagged comes in with a running knee strike to his temple. 2.0. loudly take control of the match. Jagged foolishly monkey flips Sabian onto Matthews’ shoulders. Sabian takes him down with a huracanrana. Jagged elbow drops Sabian to prevent him from tagging out. Sabian positions 2.0. so that when he gives Matthews a neckbreaker, he gives Jagged a DDT. He tags in Kingston who cleans house with back elbows. Sabian double knees Matthews in the corner. Kingston yakuza kicks him. Sabian dropkicks him, sending Matthews to the floor. Kingston uranage suplexes Jagged and Matthews breaks the pin. 2.0. give Kingston a double STO. Sabian gives Matthews a lungblower. Matthews however puts Sabian on his shoulders so Jagged can give him a neckbreaker. Sabian sends 2.0. to the floor. Sabian follows out with a tope con hilo. Kingston brings in Jagged from the apron. He dusts off the Royal Flush to score the pin at 9:55. I always love when people bust out their old finishes. 2.0. were just as wildly entertaining back in the day and Kingston and Sabian of course has good chemistry together. This was just ten minutes of fun. **3/4

Eddie Kingston and Jigsaw are talking about creeping on girls on MySpace. Well that certainly dates this DVD. Jigsaw kindly shoos Kingston away so he can cut a promo. He says he did another friend of his, Shane Storm, a favor last month by teaming with him. Jigsaw says last month Icarus broke his nose during their tag match. Now that they’re in the same building, he will get rid of Icarus and concentrate on bigger things.

Jigsaw vs. Icarus {F}

Icarus pushes down Jigsaw’s knees. Jigsaw crosses Icarus’ legs and stretches out his arms. Icarus escapes and controls Jigsaw’s arm. Icarus stomps his back. Jigsaw fights his way up. He gives Icarus some armdrags and rolls him into a crucifix pin for two. Icarus knees Jigsaw and delivers a neckbreaker. Icarus chokes Jigsaw with his boot. Icarus twists his neck and arm. That leads to a crucifix pin for two. Icarus also gets two with a legdrop. He puts on a crossface. He stands up and Samoan drops his way out of the hold. Icarus clotheslines Jigsaw and throws punches on the mat. Icarus sets up for the Wings of Icarus. Jigsaw backdrops Icarus to the floor to counter. Jigsaw suicide dives out after him. Both hurt, they crawl their way back into the ring. Jigsaw puts Icarus on his shoulders. Icarus crucifix pins him for two. Jigsaw superkicks Icarus for two. Jigsaw attempts a piledriver. Icarus turns that into the Shiranui for two. He goes for another one. Jigsaw evades it. Icarus grabs Jigsaw’s leg to block a superkick. Jigsaw hops over Icarus and German suplexes him for two. Jigsaw goes for the Leap of Faith. Icarus strikes him instead. He sets up for the spinning Wings of Icarus. He accidentally hits referee Derek Sabto in the face. Jigsaw hits the Jig N’ Tonic. Sabato is down and can’t count the pin. Icarus low blows Jigsaw and hits the Wings of Icarus. Sabato recovers and makes the count at 9:31. This was fairly redundant throughout. A lot crucifix pins burned the fans out on buying the pinfalls and they couldn’t bring themselves to care. The finish was good for setting up the next chapter, but I don’t like that a lot of this show so far feels like just another chapter in a bigger overall story. **1/4

Larry Sweeney comes out to the ring with his ribs taped up. He claims to have two cracked ribs after Mana’s body came crashing down on him. He claims that the past nine months of his career and of his life and he’s enjoyed being the Tex-Arkana Champion. He says what he does is wear a title belt around his waist to show that he is the best, but he can’t do now thanks to Mana. He knows he gets the job done in the ring; all Mana was supposed to do was to make sure nothing happens to prevent him from doing his job. He believes Mana has failed him by not helping him getting a title belt back around his waist. He’s even more upset because Mana couldn’t even defeat a team that doesn’t get along. He asks for Mana to come back out, but Mana is no longer in the building. Sweeney figured Mana would run off. Sweeney is also not happy that Milano Collection AT ran down to Texas with his title. Long story short, Sweeney challenges Mana to a match when CHIKARA returns to Reading on May 26th. That match shortly after would be signed.

Delirious and Hallowicked are under a table backstage. They talk in incoherent languages to each other, but I can make out that their main goal is going after the Campeonatos de Parejas. Hero’s regular theme music plays. He comes out and says that’s not the right theme music, and demands for the music guys to play their correct theme. The music guys have GREAT difficulty playing the right song for whatever reason. It takes so long, that Leonard F. Chikarason comes out and tells Hero and Claudio to get to the ring without music or they would be stripped of the titles. They have no choice to oblige.

Delirious & Hallowicked vs. Chris Hero {KOW} & Claudio Castagnoli {KOW}

Delirious freaks out at the bell as usual. Claudio I so scared he literally runs out of the building (though comes back in through the entrance). Hallowicked rolls up Claudio’s shoulders and armdrags him. Hallowicked wrist clutch armdrags Claudio to the corner, then alita’s out of the corner. Claudio puts on a side headlock. He puts on a courting hold, which Hallowicked turns into a pin attempt. They both trade pins until Hallowicked dropkicks Claudio to the floor. Delirious brings Hero to the corner in a lock-up and screams in his face. Delirious rolls through a wristlock. He keeps rolling and catches Hero with a side headlock takedown. Hero drops down only to take a pair of clotheslines. Delirious headscissors Hero to block a suplex. He baits Hero to the floor a few times. In the ring he hits yet another clothesline for two. Dleirious armdrags Claudio and holds on. Hero blind tags in as Claudio shoots Delirious of the ropes. Hero shoulder blocks Delirious in the back from the apron. Hero kicks Delirious into an uppercut from Claudio for two. The Kings go to work picking Delirious apart. Delirious trips Hero to his own corner. Delirious back elbows Claudio and tags in Hallowicked. He gives both Kings dropkicks and throws their heads together. Claudio evades a step-up Frankensteiner. He uppercuts Hallowicked. Hallowicked yakuza kicks Claudio for two. Claudio blocks the step-up Frankesteiner. Hero dropkicks Hallowicked into a powerbomb from Claudio for two. They attack Hallowicked in the corner. Hero drops Hallowicked off his shoulders. Hero monkey flips Claudio but Hallowicked moves out of his path. Delirious gives Hero Shadows Over Heck for two. Hero and Delirious fight on the ropes. Hallowicked brings him down and hits an enzuigiri. He and Delirious give Hero a legdrop/side slam combo for two. Claudio throws Hallowicked and Delirious together. Hero puts them both on Claudio’s shoulders and dropkicks them both off. Hero pins Delirious for two. He then pitches Delirious to the floor. Hallowicked takes out Hero with the step-up Frankensteiner. Delirious runs in with the Panic Attack for two. Hallowicked and Claudio are fighting on the floor near the entrance. Claudio comes back in and kicks Delirious right in the crotch. Referee Bryce Remsburg calls for the DQ at 18:01. That probably lasted a little long to get to the finish, and it wasn’t nearly as good as their match back at Tag World, but it was certainly serviceable and a good way to further establish Hallowicked and Delirious as a new unit. Hallowicked chases the Kings away as Delirious is being checked on. **3/4

Crossbones says that last month he destroyed Andy Sumner and that he will do the same to Shane Storm tonight.

Young Lions Cup
Shane Storm (Champion) vs. Crossbones

A lock-up is broken cleanly in the corner. Crossbones chops Storm in the opposite corner. Crossbones shrugs off a shoulder block attempt. Storm’s shoulder tackle is successful. He delivers a pair of armdrags before he and Crossbones trade pins and reach a stalemate. Crossbones kicks Storm a bit. Storm ducks a kick to the head and delivers one of his own. This sends Crossbones to the floor. Storm goes for a suicide dive but Crossbones cuts him off with a kick. Crossbones Dragon kicks Storm after blocking an armdrag. He throws out some Kawada kicks to the champion. They only get him a two count. Storm goes for an alita. Crossbones suplexes Storm to counter. Crossbones puts on a single crab. When Storm escapes he goes for an Air Raid Crash. Crossbones Saito suplexes Storm instead. He goes for a second one. Storm this time hits the Air Raid Crash. It took a large toll on Storm lifting up a man of Crossbones’ size. Storm comes off the ropes with another alita. A flying forearm gets him two. Storm kicks out Crossbones’ legs. Crossbones ducks That Japanese Move. He’s looking for the Friggin’ Sweet Driver. He fails so he lifts Storm up in a waterwheel position. Crossbones tumbles and falls backwards, crushing Storm. That seemed like it didn’t go according to plan. Crossbones comes off the second rope with a dropkick. Crossbones crotches himself in the corner when Storm evades a corner kick. Storm hits That Japanese Move in the corner for the pin at 9:34. There was a bit of awkwardness at times, but it was solid overall. It’s nice to see Crossbones getting a main event shot at the Cup because I feel he doesn’t get his due at times. **1/2

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