Speaking In Tongues


Reading, PA – 4.15.2005

Commentary is provided by Dave Prazak and Eddie Kingston.

Knight Eye for the Pirate Guy and Allison Danger cut a wacky promo in a cellar of some sort. In the ring, their opponent Larry Sweeney cuts a promo (with his partners ShareCropper and Rorschach). Sweeney talks about how they’ve been working out more (Hindu squats!) and are ready for whatever their opponents have.

Jolly Roger {KPG}, Lance Steel {KPG}, & Allison Danger vs. Larry Sweeney {SNS}, The ShareCropper {SNS}, & Rorschach {SNS}

Steel takes Rorschach down and goes for the Boston Crab. Rorschach takes him over with his legs. Steel breaks a lock-up clean in the corner. Rorschach breaks a lock-up in the corner and gives Steel some chops. Steel’s chest plate makes the chops ineffective. Danger gives Rorschach a joust and Sweeney tags in. Sweeney and Danger exchange wristlocks. Sweeney pulls her hair to switch into a headlock. She armdrags Sweeney out of an overhead wristlock. Sweeney teases a test of strength, but overhand chops her instead. Danger stomps Sweeney down to his knees and hits two bulldogs. Sweeney avoids a punt. Steel tags in and goes for the Boston Crab. Sweeney escapes, so Steel puts one on ShareCropper who also escapes. Sweet N’ Sour International do Hindu squats to show it was their leg strength that allowed them to break free. Roger and ShareCropper exchange holds. ShareCropper knocks Roger down with a shoulder block, but Roger sends him to the floor with a tilt-a-whirl headscissors. Roger looks to fly, but Rorschach pulls down the top rope to send Roger to the floor. Rorschach and Sweeney put the boots to him. SnS International wear down Roger in their corner. Roger manages to make a comeback by catching Rorschach mid air with a powerslam. Danger comes in and lays out Sweeney with three clotheslines and a neckbreaker. ShareCropper comes in to save Sweeney. Danger gets dropped with a spin-out uranage. Roger breaks the pin. Roger hits a swinging neckbreaker and a frogsplash. Sweeney and Rorschach break the pin. They hit a mini Demolition Decapitation for two. Steel comes in and Sweeney hits him with the ’68 Comeback Special. Sweeney pulls a chain out of his boot, and referee Bryce Remsburg takes it away. Rorschach pulls one out of his boot, and Bryce catches him. While Bryce is distracted, Sweeney pulls out a second chain. Before he can use it, Steel puts him in the Boston Crab. Sweeney taps out at 15:25. This was a fun trios match to kick off the show. Sweeney is just so entertaining to watch, and Knight Eye for the Pirate Guy become a more formidable tandem with each passing show. **1/2

Sweeney berates his team after the match. Sweeney says he knows he can beat Knight Eye and Danger and demands a rematch. Roger says that they’ve already beaten SnS International twice and that he doesn’t want to continue wasting time with them. Sweeney says he’ll do whatever it takes to get a rematch. Roger throws out a few ridiculous stipulations and before settling on one. Roger says since Sweet N’ Sour International are such cry babies, if they lose, they have to wear diapers. Sweeney agrees, but adds that if his team wins, Allison Danger has to be their slave. Danger reluctantly obliges and the match is set.

Niles Young {CZW} vs. Chandler McClure

McClure has a referee gimmick, and blows his whistle to an annoying degree. He throws a yellow flag on a few of Young’s moves. Young angrily takes McClure down with a flurry of offense. McClure throws Young down by his hair. Young comes back with a sunset flip for two. McClure knees Young in the gut. Young comes back with a flying forearm and back elbow. He takes McClure down with a headscissors. McClure throws Young face first into the second turnbuckle. McClure gives Young two backbreakers (with the second being an “instant replay”) for two. Young drops McClure with a DDT. Young lays in a few punches before hitting a backbreaker of his own for two. McClure hits a spear for two. McClure hits a uranage for two. Young ducks a huge clothesline. McClure drops Young with a faceplant. He applies the Whistle Wrap (aka Rings of Saturn) and Young uses the ropes to break. Young counters a powerbomb with a prawn hold for two. Young nails a yakuza kick for the pin at 6:29. McClure’s character is unique and fun, but I have a feeling I may be sick of it by the end of this tripleshot. This was a very average bout. *1/2

Mister ZERO and Shane Storm are shown backstage. Last month, they went to a 15 minute time limit with Team F.I.S.T. The fans chanted for “7 more minutes” afterwards, so tonight it will be a 22 minute time limit match. Storm says 22 minutes will be plenty of time for them to beat F.I.S.T.

Shane Storm {MW} & Mister ZERO {MW} vs. Icarus {F} & Gran Akuma {F}

Akuma and Storm look to take control early on. With neither man getting an advantage of any kind, Icarus and ZERO tag in. They also have no luck, so they tag back out to Akuma and Icarus. Things escalate with a visibly more agression being put into their offense. Storm takes Akuma over with a bodyscissors and an armdrag. Akuma lays in a few kicks. Icarus and ZERO tag in. ZERO puts on a Camel Cutch, but breaks it when he realizes he has no newspaper. He gives Icarus a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Icarus wheelbarrows into a bulldog. Akuma lays in a few kicks for a two count. Akuma hits a back senton for two. Icarus hip tosses ZERO and hits a senton for two. Icarus goes for a rolling clothesline. ZERO evades it and tags in Storm. Icarus grabs Storm’s leg, and Akuma comes into kick it. Akuma targets his attack on Storm’s leg. Storm gets fed up and goes forearm for kick with Akuma. Storm ducks a roundhouse kick and drops Akuma with a German suplex. Icarus and ZERO tag in. ZERO knocks Icarus to the floor with a Cactus clothesline. ZERO brings Icarus outside to the parking lot as Storm and Akuma brawl backstage. We’re left watching an empty ring for a bit until Icarus and Storm fight from out of the locker room and ZERO and Storm come in from outside. Icarus drops Storm with a pedigree in the ring for two. Storm hits the Air Raid Crash. He hurts his knee on the landing, preventing him from going for the cover. Akuma gives Storm a tornado DDT for two. All four men brawl on the floor. Men at Work put F.I.S.T. in stereo abdominal stretches. They get to the count of 19, and Storm holds up his STOP sign to prevent Bryce from counting to 20. ZERO and Icarus come back in the ring. ZERO hits a Blue Thunder Driver and then applies a bodyscissors full nelson lock. Akuma frees Icarus from the hold. As he goes for a grapevine ankle lock, the bell rings at 22:00. The time limit has expired, meaning this is yet another draw between these two teams. Once again, these two teams put on a good match that never felt long. The chemistry between them is there and I anticipate what these teams will do in their “final” bout. ***1/4

Ring of Honor Student Round Robin Tournament
Davey Andrews {ROH} vs. Shane Hagadorn {ROH}

The winner of this Round Robin Tournament will get a spot in the Young Lions Cup tournament in July. Hagadorn and Andrews reach a stalemate on the mat. Andrews applies an armbar. Hagadorn grabs the ropes to escape. Hagadorn sunset flips Andrews for two. Andrews rolls up Hagadorn for two. They forearm each other in the back. Hagadorn gets a two count with an O’Connor Roll. Each guy throws overhand chops. Hagadorn twists Andrews nipple and rakes his eyes. Each guy goes for a pin in a small package. Hagadorn and Andrews exchange hard slaps. Andrews missing a flying knee strike and Hagadorn slightly back kicks him for two. Hagadorn gets in a few chops and pokes Andrews in the eye. He continuously kicks Andrews in a tree of woe. Hagadorn hits a hard clothesline in the corner. Andrews fires up from Hagadorn’s chops. He pokes Hagadorn in the eyes then lights him up with chops, knee strikes, and headbutts. Andrews hits a falling headbutt from the top rope for two. Hagadorn and Andrews exchange hard strikes. Andrews blocks a suplex with a knee to the head. Andrews hits a flying knee strike for the pin at 8:25. I was surprised at how hard these guys hit each other and how good a story they could tell doing so. By the end, I was rooting for Andrews to kill Hagadorn since he was being such a jerk. That’s exactly what happened and led to a satisfying ending. For two rookies, I was pleasantly surprised. **1/2

Sabian is backstage. He says he doesn’t much care for his opponent Ravage tonight. Sabian says after retaining his CZW Junior title tonight, he plans to add the Best of the Best tournament winner to his accomplishments. Mike Quackenbush approaches him, hinting that he wants a shot at Sabian’s title.

CZW Junior Heavyweight Championship
Sabian (Champion) vs. Ravage {CZW}

Sabian and Ravage trade wristlocks. Ravage slaps Sabian as he comes off the ropes. Sabian sends Ravage to the floor with a hiponesa. Ravage avoids a dive and forearms Sabian in the back. Sabian sends Ravage to the floor and follows out with a tope con hilo. Sabian gets a two count. Ravage hot shots Sabian on the top rope for two. Ravage and Sabian exchange headbutts and chops on the floor. Ravage drops Sabian with a spinebuster back in the ring for two. Ravage applies a Ring of Saturn, and Sabian uses the ropes to break. Sabian lays in some Kawada kicks. Ravage hits a clothesline for two. Sabian kicks out Ravage’s leg and dropkicks Ravage in the head for two. Ravage kicks out Sabian’s leg and hits a shining boot. Sabian hits a reverse curbstomp and heads to the top rope. He hits a double stomp to score the pin at 8:23. Another standard bout. Sabian really has shown a lot in his time in CHIKARA, but against someone like Ravage it’s hard to do anything too interesting. **1/4

Hallowicked {DB} & Mano Metalico {SNS} vs. Emil Sitoci & Trik Davis

Davis and Hallowicked trade wristlocks. Okay guys, let’s find a new way to start a match please. A stalemate calls for Sitoci and Metalico to both tag in. Sitoci ducks a backfist and hits a chop. He does this a couple more times, but gets knocked down with a snug forearm. Sitoci takes Hallowicked down with a slingshot armdrag. Hallowicked trips Sitoci and cranks on his knees. Sitoci sends him to the corner with an armdrag and tags in Davis. He and Sitoci hit a double gut buster and Sitoci hits a legdrop for two. Metalico nails Sitoci with an overhand chop from the apron with his “metal hand”. Metalico and Hallowicked beat down Sitoci in their corner. Eventually, Davis gets fed up and double stomps Metalico. He also forearms Hallowicked on the apron. He gets sent back to the corner while Hallowicked and Metalico continue their attack on Sitoci. Sitoci is able to avoid an attack from Hallowicked in the corner and knock him down with a sick kick. Davis gets tagged in and sends Metalico to the floor. Davis puts Hallowicked in a modified Octopus stretch. Metalico comes in and chokeslams Davis. Sitoci hits a snapmare driver on Metalico for two. Hallowicked sends Sitoci onto Metalico on the floor. Hallowicked counters a snapmare driver from Davis with the Graveyard Smash for the pin at 9:59. This seemed really disjointed and just strange. Maybe it’s because it consisted of two makeshift teams, but the match seemed pretty innocuous. It was fine, but I could have done just fine without it. **

Chris Hero talks about his “teacher vs. student” match tonight with Mickie Knuckles. He says he doesn’t consider Mickie a student any longer. He recalls back at Tag World when she tapped out to Hero’s Hangmen’s Clutch. Hero calls her a failure, saying he didn’t train failures. Hero mentions he will not go easy on her.

Hero cuts a similar promo to Mickie’s face in the ring. Hero has Knuckles tell the story of how Haze injured her at an IWA-MS show last month. Hero asks if she’s going to forfeit the match because of it, and she says no. Hero antagonizes her a bit more and says he will not take advantage of Knuckles’ weakness during the match. Knuckles says she can beat Hero without her arm. Hero kicks Knuckles in the stomach and the match is on.

Chris Hero {KOW} vs. Mickie Knuckles

Hero takes Knuckles to the floor and lays in some forearms. Hero throws Knuckles back in the ring. She nails Hero with a few hard clotheslines. Hero backdrops Knuckles as she comes off the ropes and follows up with a back senton. Hero elbows Knuckles in the forehead and forearms her in the back. Hero forearms her in the face. Knuckles gets her feet up to block Hero, but Hero comes back with a big boot for two. He hits a flipping senton. Hero drops Knuckles with a Saito suplex for two. Knuckles avoids a double stomp and begins to dropkick Hero multiple times in the knee. Hero blocks the Shining Kawada Kick with a right hand. Knuckles rolls up Hero for two. Knuckles fires up as Hero lays in more forearms. She hits a trifecta of rolling forearms for two. Hero breaks his promise and attacks Knuckles’ arm. He puts applies the Hangmen’s Clutch her bad arm, causing Knuckles to tap out at 7:06. What a great story they told in such a short period of time. Just when it looked liked Knuckles potentially had Hero’s number, he took the easy route out that he promised to not take earlier. Brilliant and simple storytelling at it’s finest. ***

Mike Quackenbush & Jigsaw vs. Claudio Castagnoli {KOW} & Arik Cannon {KOW}

Quackenbush takes Cannon to the mat and legdrops his arm. Quackenbush wrenches his arm back on their feet. Quackenbush breaks free from a wristlock using his head (literally). Jigsaw tags in and methodically trades wristlocks with Cannon (Prazak and Kingston call it “cute”). Jigsaw rolls back to his corner and tags in Quackenbush. Quackenbush sends Cannon to the corner and hits the Kangaroo Blaster. Jigsaw takes Cannon down with a headscissors and leapfrogs over Quackenbush with a legdrop for two. Claudio tags in and immediately is taken over with an armdrag. Quackenbush tags in and goes back and forth with Claudio. Quackenbush gets sent to the apron, but comes back in with a couple armdrag variants and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Claudio asks for a handshake. He chops Quackenbush, so Quackenbush comes back with a wrist clutch armdrag. Quackenbush rolls Claudio into a figure seven ankle lock. Jigsaw sends Claudio out with a leg lariat and throws Cannon to the floor as well. Jigsaw hits Claudio with a 619 on the floor and knocks Cannon to the floor. Quackenbush dives out of the ring with a somersault senton onto both guys. Claudio blocks a clothesline and drags Jigsaw to his corner. He Giant Swings Jigsaw into a dropkick from Cannon. The Kings isolate Jigsaw in their corner, preventing him from tagging out to Quackenbush. After being bullied by the Kings for a significant time, Jigsaw wheelbarrows into a sunset flip and superkicks Claudio. He tags in Quackenbush who mows down Cannon with a trifecta of clotheslines. He gives Cannon windmill chops in the corner. Claudio interrupts and feels the effect of those chops. The Kings avoid a splash in the corner. Quackenbush drops both of them at the same time, one with a DDT and one with an inverted DDT. Quackenbush hits a reverse DDT on Claudio, and Jigsaw comes in with a frog legdrop for two. Cannon sends Jigsaw to the floor and forearms Quackenbush from behind. Claudio fireman’s carry’s Quackenbush into a European uppercut. Cannon hits an exploder suplex for two. Quackenbush and Jigsaw knock Cannon down with Total Elimination. Claudio breaks the pin. Claudio pops Jigsaw onto Cannon’s shoulders. He hits a Doomsday Device with a European uppercut, and Jigsaw kicks out. Claudio accidentally pops Jigsaw into a huracanrana on Cannon. Jigsaw rolls him up for the pin at 20:23. This was a really excellent tag team match to cap off the show. Claudio and Cannon are such a fantastic duo, which you may not expect. They really compliment each other well. Even in their formidable tag days, Quackenbush and Jigsaw showed a lot of proficiency. A great way to end an otherwise ho hum show.***1/2

Claudio, Cannon, and Hero attack Quack and Jigsaw. Quack and Jigsaw manage to fend them off. Quack says that next month is CHIKARA’s third year anniversary, teasing that he and Hero will finally face off during that weekend.

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