Wrestling is Fun! 5 – Hasta Bañana

Allentown, PA – 9.29.2012

Commentary is provided by a rotating cast that includes Bryce Remsburg, Icarus, Leonard F. Chikarason, Gavin Loudspeaker, Kobald, Dasher Hatfield, and Chuck Taylor.

Saturyne vs. Chuck Taylor

THE SWAMP MONSTER is in Taylor’s corner. He just might be smitten with Saturyne. She has some difficulty taking Taylor down. Taylor on the other hand does some jumping jacks after mowing her down with a shoulder block. She dropkicks him to the floor. He angrily throws a replica Saturyne mask to the ground. His long chant does not catch on with the crowd. He pulls on Saturyne’s hair. She responds with a satellite headscissors. Taylor catches her spinwheel kick and delivers a backbreaker. He follows that with a butterfly suplex. Swamp Monster won’t cheat when Taylor instructs him to. He gets two with a side Russian leg sweep. Saturyne evades his moonsault. Even with that he sneaks in a bodyslam for two. Saturyne bridges the top rope to send Taylor to the floor. She follows out with a crossbody. She slingshots back with a huracanrana for two. Saturyne flubs a springboard allowing to Taylor get a two count with a Michinoku Driver. She kicks Taylor away, then cartwheels into a huracanrana. She gives him a quesadora bulldog for two. She goes up top. Taylor tries to catch her, but Saturyne is able to fend him off. She comes down with a dragonrana to score an upset pin at 8:50. Springboard “botch” aside (I swear I’m starting to think it’s intentional, with the way she does it and the frequency it occurs) this was a good opener. Taylor dusted off some gems from his bag of tricks like the Chucky T clap and the long chant that I have missed. Wacky Chuck Taylor is the best Chuck Taylor. Saturyne did her usual stuff but shows marked improvement. Oh yeah, and the Swamp Monster is the best. **1/2

Oleg the Usurper vs. JB Snow

Oleg is a Thor like character while Snow is a 90s kid who looks like Shawn Hunter and Liam McPoyle had a kid and stole Malachi Jackson’s gear. Snow does some dancing which angers the larger Oleg. Snow fails to whip him to the ropes. He does drop toe hold Oleg onto the middle rope and jumps onto the back of his neck. Oleg side steps Snow’s top rope dropkick attempt. Oleg chokes him with his boot. He gains some momentum by running the ropes and splashes Snow in the corner. He forcefully whips Snow to the other corner. Oleg misses a legdrop. He does manage to stop Snow’s bulldog attempt with a suplex. He gets two with a backbreaker. Snow throws some punches as Oleg tries to climb up the ropes. Snow hits a second rope dropkick. A legdrop to Oleg’s head gets a one count. Snow misses a Swanton. Oleg uses his finisher, “Off With His Head”, a clubbing forearm to the side of the head to take Snow down at 6:30. With the result never in doubt, Oleg defeating Snow in a much shorter squash would have been more effective. Snow will be totally forgotten anyways, so why not have Oleg crush him? At least he won. *

Soldier Ant vs. STIGMA

Apparently a box of Brown Cinnamon Sugar Pop-Tarts is on the line. Were it me, I’d lay down and lose because that is indisputably the worst flavor of them all. Let the hate tweets begin. After trading some holds, Soldier Ant simply salutes to STIGMA. STIGMA takes him down in a double knuckle lock. Soldier Ant rolls to the floor to avoid three stomps and angers STIGMA with a salute from the floor. STIGMA salutes back at him when he comes on the apron. Soldier Ant sunset flips him after a shoulder block to the stomach for two. He armdrags and hip tosses his way out of two opposite corners. He sends STIGMA to the floor with a saluting back elbow from the middle rope. STIGMA comes back in and gets two with a backbreaker. He also gets two with a senton. He places Soldier Ant on the top rope. STIGMA brings him down with a superplex for two. Soldier Ant comes back with a flurry of forearms and some running saluting headbutts. He gets two with a running crossbody. Soldier Ant dives at STIGMA with a saluting headbutt as he’s seated in the corner. STIGMA catches him on the top rope and looks for the Stigmata. Soldier Ant shoves him off and tries for the TKO. STIGMA fights him off. They both go to the top rope. Soldier Ant knocks STIGMA down and hits a diving headbutt for the pin at 11:52. Performances like this make me question why STIGMA is in the company at all. He’s made no impact in five shows and barely tries in his matches. Soldier Ant on the other hand did a good job taking a beating and making a comeback in the end, but even so the finish seemed abrupt. *1/2

Grizzly Redwood vs. Jaka

Redwood is able to side step Jaka’s initial attack and get in his own strikes. Jaka headbutts him in the chest and on the top of his skull. Redwood takes him down with a double axe handle and a flapjack. Jaka throws him down in a claw. A rolling headbutt gets a two count. He chokes Redwood on the middle rope. He gets two with a bodyslam and a clothesline. Redwood escapes his chinlock with a chin breaker. Redwood rolls him up for two. Jaka headbutts him in the stomach. He chops Redwood to the floor. He makes it back into the ring before the count, so Jaka attacks him as soon as he re-enters the ring. Redwood takes him down with a few back elbows. He delivers nine punches in the corner. Jaka blocks the tenth and rams Redwood into the opposite corner. Redwood gets his boot up to avoid a charge. He headscissors Jaka face first into the second turnbuckle. Jaka fires up but still gets dropped with a tornado DDT for two. Jaka comes back with a double handed choke bomb for the pin at 8:11. Jaka is by far my favorite of the WiF newcomers. He’s entertaining, knows how to play into his character and helps the crowd get into his opponent. It never occurred to me just how good an underdog Redwood can be until I saw him here, and that’s also a huge credit to Redwood’s level of skill. This was surprisingly entertaining and very fun. **1/2

Green Ant vs. Johnny Ego

Ego defeated Fire Ant back at “2” and Soldier Ant at “4.” He’s looking for a clean sweep against The Colony tonight. Before the match, he proclaims that he will do so and then go after the WiF banana. Ego wants a no face hitting rule. Green Ant agrees if Ego will stop talking. Ego agrees and Green Ant schools him on the mat. He makes it to the ropes and slips out to the floor when Green Ant goes for a cross armbreaker. The same thing happens when Green Ant goes for his leg. He grabs the ropes to break a STF. He sucker punches Green Ant, blatantly breaking his rule. Green Ant goes back for the cross armbreaker and Ego gets the ropes again. Ego gives him a neckbreaker. Green Ant goes for his leg and again Ego uses the ropes to stop him. Green Ant misses a corner attack, so Ego grabs his antennae and drives the back of his head into the mat. He gets two with a Tiger Driver. He bits the attennae while putting on a chinlock. He puts on an arm capture headlock. Ego again gets the ropes. Ego strings together a chinbreaker and neckbreaker. He drives Green Ant’s neck into the middle rope. Ego accidentally crotches himself on the middle rope. Green Ant blocks his shots and takes him down with a rolling clothesline. He drops him with a modified Michinoku Driver. Ego gets his foot on the ropes. Ego puts up his hands when Green Ant winds up with a punch reminding him of the no face punching roll. Green Ant keeps that rule, but superkicks Ego in the face instead! He puts on a short arm scissors. Ego reaches for the ropes, but taps out at 11:20. What a brilliant match this was. Green Ant worked over Ego’s arm while Ego worked over Green Ant’s neck. Ego had to keep going for the ropes to save himself, and when he couldn’t, he lost the match. Two strong characters putting on a quality wrestling bout makes me very happy. ***1/4

Professor Hugo Neptunium vs. Samir Tarik Mohammed

Mohammed places Neptunium on the top rope to try and embarrass him. Neptunium feels no shame and takes Mohammed to the mat in a side headlock. He avoids Mohammed trying to go up and over him in the corner. Mohammed takes his sweet time turning around. He tries to charge but Neptunium brings him back down in the side headlock. Mohammed knocks Neptunium down when he hits the ropes. Neptunium out smarts Mohammed by telling him to run the ropes and then catching him with a drop toe hold and walking on his back. He goes for a suicide dive but Mohammed hits him with a gamengiri from the floor. Back in the ring he gets two with a suplex. Neptunium escapes a headlock and puts on an Octopus stretch. Mohammed transitions into a Michinoku Driver. Neptunium ducks a lariat. He rolls Mohammed back into a seated abdominal stretch. Mohammed grabs the ropes. Neptunium goes for a headlock driver. Mohammed blocks it with a dropkick. Neptunium comes off the second rope with double knees, which Taylor on commentary decides to call the Bunsen Burner. He Jon Woo kicks Mohammed to the corner and gets two with a running knee strike. Mohammed comes back with a back handspring enzuigiri. He misses a quebrada. Neptunium takes advantage of this misstep by giving Mohammed the Lightning Spiral (clever) for the pin at 11:25. By and large I liked the wrestling in this match, but I don’t feel like either guy used their character to their fullest extent. If you’re going to to portray a religious zealot and a professor, don’t drop the shtick when the bell rings. At least utilize it every once in a while. That being said, the wrestling was good so I can only do so much complaining. **3/4

Knight Eye 4 The Pirate Guy (Jolly Roger & Lance Steel) & Frightmare vs. The Batiri (Kodama & Kobald) & Icarus

Icarus has his face painted green and black to show he’s a team player. Roger has a hook for his right hand. Kobald twists on the hook. Roger removes it and puts it on referee Dan Yost’s hand. It takes Kobald a moment to realize it. Yost decides not to disqualify him. Roger flips out of the corner with an armdrag. He puts on a STF. Kodama stops him and sends him to the floor. Steel backs him to the corner in a lock-up. Kodama learned from the last show not to chop Steel’s armor. He slingshots in with an armdrag. Steel sweeps the legs and dropkicks Kodama to the floor. Icarus apparently forgot what chopping Steel does. He does however poke Steel in the eyes and pitch him to the floor. Frightmare takes him down with various armdrags and a step-up Frankensteiner. He laughs at Icarus’ attempt to scare him. He scares Icarus into a legged nelson. This leads to a five person submission string, with Roger breaking it by kicking Kodama in the side of the head. Knight Eye dropkick the Batiri to the floor. Roger tope con hilo’s after them. Icarus trips Frightmare to stop his dive. No joke, he shoves Frightmare in an elevator and closes the door. The Batiri de-armor Steel so they can more easily wear them down. They, along with Icarus, actually use the armor against Steel a few times. Icarus misses a D-Lo Brown like frog splash, but Kobald dropkicks Roger off the apron to prevent a tag. Frightmare makes his way back just in time to make the tag and come in with a crossbody to Icarus. He gets two with an Ace Crusher. Icarus drops him with an EVO for two. Roger gets in some chops. Kobald misses a corner spear. Knight Eye joust Icarus in one corner. Kodama gives Roger a Back Cracker to stop them from jousting Kobald. Kobald spears Steel for two. Steel gives Kobald a Finlay Roll and a back senton. He turns him over for the Boston Crab. Kodama dropkicks Steel to break the hold. He gives Steel a spinebuster and Roger breaks the cover. Roger picks him up for a gut wrench into a DDT, almost like the En Vitro Fertilization. Icarus breaks the pin. Roger sole butts him. Frightmare clotheslines Icarus into a side Russian Leg Sweep from Steel. Steel powerbombs Kobald into the Boston Crab. Icarus Mongolian chops Steel and drops him with the Wings of Icarus. Frightmare makes the save. Kodama catches Frightmare with a Flying Blockbuster for the pin at 14:58. This was a lot like an old school CHIKARA trios match. I remarked how good Knight Eye looked at the last WiF show and they still look really solid. The elevator bit was terrific, as was the match. ***1/4

Dasher Hatfield vs. Alfredo Calzone

Alfredo is better known as Johnny Calzone in Force-1. He refuses to shake hands. Hatfield arm whips him into an Oklahoma Roll. He drops down the top rope to send Calzone to the floor. Hatfield slides out and gets caught with a haymaker. He charges only to hit his head on the ring post. Hatfield makes Calzone chase him around the ring which causes him to get blown up. Hatfield smacks him in the buttocks. He hides under the ring so he can trip Calzone. Calzone does however elbow him against the ropes. Hatfield smacks his buttocks again. He puts Calzone in an abdominal stretch. Calzone hip tosses his way out of it. The top rope breaks when Hatfield whips Calzone to the corner. Calzone takes the opportunity to choke Hatfield with the rope. Hatfield avoids a corner splash and prawn holds Calzone for two. He ducks a clothesline and crossbody’s off the bottom rope for two. Calzone gets two with a suplex. Hatfield turns him mid-suplex and gets another two count. Calzone blocks Hatfield’s charge by popping him up into an Ace Crusher. Calzone gets distracted by Bryce Remsburg fixing the ropes. He turns around into a slam. Hatfield schoolboys him to avoid a Death Valley Driver. He ties up Calzone’s legs in his own singlet. Calzone makes it to the ropes but he can’t break his own hold. Bryce has to release him. Calzone throws Hatfield to the floor. Hatfield maneuvers his way to the second rope. He dives onto Calzone and rolls him up into an Oklahoma Roll for the pin at 12:23. This was another match where the comedy and wrestling were on point. I didn’t think Calzone would be the best Rudo, but he proved me wrong and ended up doing a tremendous job. Hopefully he sticks around. **3/4

WiF Banana “Championship” Match
“Mr. Touchdown” Mark Angelosetti (Champion) vs. Mike Quackenbush

Veronica Ticklefeather is in Angelosetti’s corner. Angelosetti goes right for Quackenbush’s notoriously bad back. Quackenbush avoids a corner splash. He hip tosses Angelosetti and armdrags him across the ring. He monkey flips him twice. Angelosetti forearms him to the apron. Quackenbush Jon Woo dropkicks him to the corner. Veronica grabs his leg. Angelosetti gives him a German suplex and shoulder tackles him to the floor. He throws Quackenbush arm and back first into the ring post and ring apron. He keeps on Quackenbush’s back when he brings him back into the ring. Angelosetti lifts him up with one arm and throws him to the corner. Quackenbush rolls through being tosses off the top rope. He goes after Angelosetti’s right leg. Angelosetti kicks him to the corner to avoid a figure four leg lock. Quackenbush sends him to the floor. He goes for a dive but Angelosetti puts Veronica in the way to stop him. Quackenbush slingshots him back into the ring. Angelosetti is happy to get in a shoulder tackle, but Quackenbush log roll his legs out. Angelosetti gives him a couple of backbreakers for a two count. Veronica does a cheer while Angelosetti has Quackenbush up for a delayed vertical slam. He tackles Quackenbush in the corner a few times. Quackenbush evades a high knee. He chops Angelosetti in the corner and gives him a backdrop. Angelosetti pops him up, but Quackenbush drives his knee into Angelosetti’s chest which sends him into the mat. Angelosetti blocks a palm strike with an exploder suplex. Quackenbush manages to give him a super huracanrana. He hits a Swanton Bomb, but his bad back doesn’t allow him to go for the pin right away. When he does he only gets a two count. Veronica distracts Quackenbush. She tosses in her baton unbeknownst to Quackenbush. Dasher Hatfield comes in from commentary to try and take the baton away. All that does is distract Bryce, allowing Angelosetti to hit Quackenbush in the back with the baton. He then back suplexes Quackenbush into an Ace Crusher for the pin at 15:17. The work on Quackenbush’s back was consist and led to the finish which I always appreciate. It also built off of the animosity the Throwbacks first had on the last WiF show. It also opens the door for a rematch between Quackenbush and Angelosetti on the next show, which given the quality of this match I have no problem with. If we get a clean finish there it will likely be even better. ***1/4

Quackenbush gets on the microphone and declares he wants another match with Angelosetti. With the absence of shenanigans, he’s certain the WiF banana will be his.

The show also includes clips from The Flames of Love’s CCW show outside of the building. They have some awesome dubbed over Wrestlemania III footage playing against the side of the building. Before they can actually wrestle though, their agent Girodaan Gordon stops them and informs them that they will be on a future Wrestling is Fun show. Hooray!

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