A Benefit for Baseballtown Charities

Reading, PA – 8.12.2012

Commentary is provided by Leonard F. Chikarason, Bryce Remsburg, and UltraMantis Black.

UltraMantis Black {SE} & Hallowicked {SE} vs. combatANT {G} & assailANT {G}

combatANT breaks an arm hold in the corner, but palms Mantis in the face afterwards. Mantis shoulder blocks him to the canvas. He Mongolian chops combatANT against the ropes after an armdrag and gets two with a DDT. The Envoy give combatANT a legdrop/side slam combo. assailANT comes in and gets volleyed between the Envoy with forearms. combatANT sends Hallowicked to the floor. assailANT suplexes Mantis and goes for his mask. Although Mantis stops that, he cannot stop the Swarm from bullying him in their corner. Mantis manages to take them down with double bulldogs. Hallowicked tags in. He gives combatANT a running boot but assailANT breaks the cover. He gives assailANT the Rydeen Bomb. Mantis follows up with Cosmic Doom for the pin at 6:02. The Envoy are one of my favorite factions to watch in CHIKARA. Mantis and Hallowicked have such good chemistry and they are always a fun watch. They now have two points, and GEKIDO loses…again. **1/2

Sugar Dunkerton {F} vs. The Shard

In case you missed it, Wink Vavasseur used his CHIKARAbrmetrics system to make Dunkerton a member of the F.I.S.T. faction after Dunkerton insisted he was better off in a team. He said this in the hopes of becoming a member of the Throwbacks again, but Vavasseur apparently did not understand. This is also a rematch from “The Great Escape” which Dunkerton won. Dunkerton avoids a charge and lights up Shard with some punches. Shard lariats him in the back of the head. He gets two with an enzuigiri. Shard gives him a back cracker when Dunkerton regains his composure. Dunkerton still manages to get in a few strikes and bounces Shard off the ropes into a German suplex. Shard blocks Dunkerton’s sunset flip by sitting down and grabbing the ropes. This gets him the victory at 4:06. Dunkerton’s at his best when on offense, so considering this match was mostly him getting walloped, it wasn’t anything noteworthy. Him using PAC’s rope assisted German suplex is sweet though. *

Sydney Bakabella comes to the ring. He debuted at Wrestling is Fun last month. Much like he did in WiF, he offers two young men in the back a chance in the ring. Out comes Alan Hunter and JJ Jackson, two young talents who no one is the audience has a clue about. Their opponents? The Devestation Corporation, two mammoth humans who resemble the Powers of Pain. There names are Max Smashmaster & Blaster McMassive, which I officially deem the best names in wrestling today.

Alan Hunter & JJ Jackson vs. Max Smashmaster {DC} & Blaster McMassive {DC}

Do we need play by play for this? Jackson gets destroyed, and then Hunter falls victim to the Death Blow (the Death Sentence with a top rope splash instead of a legdrop) for the pin at 0:53. God bless the Devestation Corporation. N/R

Soldier Ant {C} vs. Ophidian

Delirious is in Ophidian’s corner. Soldier Ant and Ophidian trade holds. Soldier Ant uses a hip toss to get a one count. He comes off the second rope with a back elbow. Ophidian armdrags Soldier Ant to the corner. Soldier Ant just salutes which Ophidian does not like. He slaps him in the face before grabbing a nerve hold. He enzuigiri’s Soldier Ant to the corner and drives his knees into his chest and face twice. Soldier Ant ducks a couple clotheslines. He headscissors Ophidian to the floor. He follows out with a suicide dive. Ophidian rolls in after slamming Soldier Ant into the apron. Delirious throws him into the ring post while Ophidian distracts the referee. He gets counted out at 6:16. Probably could have used a better finish, but this was fine for what it was. **

Mike Quackenbush, Fire Ant {C} & Frightmare {SE} vs. Obariyon {B}, Kodama {B} & Kobald {B}

This is Fire Ant’s first match back from injury. Delirious is in The Batiri’s corner. Obariyon throws strikes at Quackenbush. Quackenbush wrenches on a courting hold. He rolls him up for two. Kodama attacks Quackenbush’s back. When he puts on a side headlock, Quackenbush baits Kodama into letting go and letting him put on a wristlock. Kobald throws toilet paper at him from the apron. Quackenbush chops him up in the corner. He sweeps the legs and drops his knees on Kobald’s chest. Frightmare tags in. He enzuigiri’s Kobald and drives him down with a pop-up clothesline. Kodama and Obariyon break the count, then attack Quackenbush and Fire Ant. Delirious nails Frightmare with a chain. He kicks out, but the Batiri capitalize on the attack by isolating Frightmare from his teammates. Frightmare eventually escapes by leapfrogging over Kobald’s spear attempt. Fire Ant comes in with a crossbody to Kobald, a tornado DDT to Obariyon and a head kick to Kodama. He gives Kodama a brainbuster for two. Delirious grabs his leg and brings him to the floor. Quackenbush springboards in with a senton onto Kodama. Obariyon and Kobald break the pin. Kobald suplexes Quackenbush into a back cracker from Kobald. Frightmare makes the save. After a couple pescados, Kodama is left in the ring with Quackenbush. Delirious accidentally punches Kodama with the chain, allowing Quackenbush to O’Conner Roll him for the pin at 9:43. That was a lot of fun and the best you can expect in a condensed period of time. I’m still impressed with how good Fire Ant and Frightmare looked after coming back from injury. The Batiri are improving with every match. **3/4

The Mysterious and Handsome Stranger vs. Grizzly Redwood

It’s been awhile since we have seen Redwood. I kind of miss the little bugger. Stranger blocks a hip toss and goes for a backslide. They unlock their arms and stand back to back for a duel. Stranger cheats and snaps Redwood’s suspenders. He makes a quick draw with his “hand” gun. He throws a few punches. Redwood pokes his eyes, takes out Stranger’s leg and gives him a low bulldog for two. Stranger misses a corner attack. Redwood comes off the top rope with a seated senton for another two count. Stranger boots Redwood as he comes off the second ropes again. Stranger lasso’s Redwood into a facebuster. He follows that up with the Flying Legdrop for the pin at 3:48. If you don’t love the Mysterious and Handsome Stranger, get out of my life. *

Green Ant {C} & Marty Jannetty vs. El Hijo del Ice Cream {IC} & Ice Cream Jr. {IC}

Marty Jannetty was actually supposed to team with Green Ant at “Give ‘Em The Axe” but ended up not making that show. He is now making up for that with this appearance. Los Ice Creams take umbrage with the Dippin’ Dots vendor. They attack Jannetty from behind. Hijo misses a splash and Jannetty takes him down with a trifecta of armdrags. He sends both Ice Creams to the floor. Green Ant fakes out Jr. before taking him down with his own armdrag. From the second rope he delivers a dropkick. Jr. shoves Green Ant to the corner where Hijo resides. Hijo snaps his neck on the top rope, and Jr. thrusts his hand into his throat for two. Los Ice Creams beat down Green Ant until Green Ant slingshots Hijo in from the apron to block a suplex. Jannetty slams both Ice Creams upon being tagged in. He also slams their heads together. Green Ant splashes onto both of them. Jannetty and Green Ant throw stereo superkicks. Jannetty schoolboys Jr. Hijo and Green Ant continue to turn the cradle over. Jannetty only gets two when the exchange is over. Jr. Jannetty goes for some punches in the corner. Hijo trips him. Jr. uses the Graham Cracker (a folding press with his feet on the ropes) to get the pin at 10:40. Jannetty still looks quite good given his age. He was game for all of Ice Creams’ tactics and worked well with Green Ant. Heck, if they teamed together again I would be all for it. Los Ice Creams are one point closer to my hopes of them getting another shot at the tag titles. **1/2

Saturyne vs. Tim Donst

Donst grabs Saturyne by her hair. She throws two dropkicks in response. She armdrags him to the ropes and runs the ropes for a huracanrana. She puts on a modified abdominal stretch which Donst breaks with a backbreaker. He bites her forehead against the ropes. Donst rubs his forearm against her face, then hits the ropes that she bounces off and smacks against the mat. He puts on From Dusk til Donst after battering her with forearms. Saturyne submits at 2:47. The little offense Saturyne got in the beginning looked fantastic. Hopefully we’ll get to see that showcased more effectively very soon. Donst’s new persona continues to be the thing I am most interested in seeing in CHIKARA currently. He runs the other way when he spots a kid with a Hallowicked mask on. ½*

Dasher Hatfield {T} & Mark Angelosetti {T} vs. Icarus {F} & Chuck Taylor {F}

Veronica Ticklefeather is in The Throwbacks’ corner. Icarus sole butts Hatfield instead of shaking hands. Hatfield smacks his buttocks to avoid a backdrop. Icarus cascades up for a sunset flip. Hatfield blocks it and Oklahoma Rolls him for two. Angelosetti blind tags in. He gives Icarus a spinebuster and lifts up Taylor before dropping him to the mat. When Taylor cowers from a tackle, Angelosetti gives him a wedgie. Hatfield grabs a baseball bat. Taylor pitches a baseball into Hatfield’s side. Hatfield charges and takes Taylor down. He hangs him up in a tree of woe, then runs the bases for a dropkick. Angelosetti trips Icarus off the apron. F.I.S.T. jump the guardrails in the hopes of escaping. Angelosetti takes Icarus into the bathroom and gives him a swirly! Meanwhile, Taylor puts on a replica Hatfield mask and attacks him from behind. He chases Icarus back to the ring where Hatfield is allowing fans to attack Taylor. Icarus boots Angelosetti. Taylor kicks him into Icarus’ back cracker for two. Hatfield sends Icarus to the floor. Taylor and Icarus however give him F.I.S.T. kicks in the corner. They follow up with the Shooty McGee. Angelosetti comes in but takes Sole Food from Taylor. Angelosetti suplexes him into an Ace Crusher. Icarus breaks the cover. Icarus goes for the Shiranui. Hatfield blocks that and the Wings of Icarus. Angelosetti comes in and with Hatfield gives Icarus the Bo Jackson for the pin at 8:47. This is the kind of fun and silliness I want out of my CHIKARA matches. Angelosetti being able to use the stereotypical wedgie and swirly was just so awesome, and what better team to do it to than F.I.S.T.? **3/4

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